


Even the Best Laid Plans

by potionspartner



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character of Faith, Community: HPFT, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Slow Burn, epilogue compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2019-06-19 17:58:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 51
Words: 119,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15515406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potionspartner/pseuds/potionspartner
Summary: Voldemort has returned and Severus Snape has survived his first meeting with him; however, his position is insecure and his loyalties questioned by his master.  Desperate to convince the Dark Lord of his obedience, Snape launches a plan to appease him. It should take years to develop giving Dumbledore and Potter the time they need to fulfill the prophecy.  However, when Voldemort changes the plan, Severus realizes that he has inadvertently brought a muggle to the attention of the Death Eaters. Now he is trying to save her from evil all while convincing her that he is actually part of it.





	1. Loyalty and Lies

Disclaimer: This is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

The man had been kneeling for a long time. Inwardly his leg was aching and starting to twitch but outwardly he showed no sign of distress. The Dark Lord did not like to see distress. Distress was a sign of weakness unless of course he was causing it for his own amusement or purpose. He also did not appreciate emotion in his company unless it was anger and loathing particularly directed at muggles, mudbloods, Albus Dumbledore and Harry Potter. . . especially Harry Potter.  


The man kept his breathing even, his mind as blank as his face which he cast toward the ground. His master did not seem inclined to invade his mind with those red slits at the moment, but relaxing his thoughts for even a second could be the difference between life and death especially considering how insecure his position was at the moment. “Constant Vigilance!” A fraction of a grimace flashed across his face as Mad-Eye’s voice barked in his mind but was quickly shoved behind a wall of nothingness.  


“So Severus, what news do you have to report.”  


“Nothing of substance, My Lord. Dumbledore continues to recruit for the Order of the Phoenix. McGonagall, naturally, has returned as well as Alastor Moody. He’s meeting resistance from Fudge and his followers, who refuse to believe in your return. Like you, he is looking for new eyes and ears within the Ministry.”  


A low hiss of disapproval sailed over his head. “This is not news, Snape. We’ve known this for over a month. What about Harry Potter? The wards are still strong at his aunt’s house?”  


Snape outwardly cringed. He knew the Dark Lord would not be happy with what came next. “As strong as ever, My Lord; however, Potter has already been moved from there. A contingent of the Order removed him three days ago and he is currently residing at the headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix.”  


“What! Why didn’t you inform me of this!”  


“My deepest apologies, My Lord. This information was not confided to me until after the fact. I glimpsed him there as a meeting’s end. . . .” The pain came before he could finish his sentence. Even when he knew the Cruciatus curse was coming, the shock still coursed through his body. White-hot nails drove into every inch of his skin, down to his core. Only due to years of training was he able to keep the blank wall as the Dark Lord checked his story with little regard to how he carved through his servant’s brain with a legilimency machete.  


“You know that I cannot get to him at his home, Dumbledore’s blood wards ensured that. The Fidelius Charm protects him now and I cannot yet attack Hogwarts. Now a new plan must be made. I want that boy and I want him now!” A second wave of the pain coursed through his body. . . a fews seconds or a few minutes, Severus did not know. He just hoped his body could survive the punishment. Eventually, Voldemort’s wave of anger passed and he began to pace in front of the prone and trembling figure. “Severus, when I returned to my body. I forgave you. I forgave you for never searching for me. I forgave you for thwarting me when I tried for the Philosopher's Stone. I forgave you for having a warm, comfortable life while I barely existed in a state worse than death. I forgave you for being my mortal enemy’s stooge for 13 years because it was supposed to bring me information. However, that information has not been as forthcoming as I would like. I need Harry Potter and I am starting to question if you are actually dedicated to that goal.”  


“My Lord, you know I only serve you. Whatever you need, I will endeavor to. . . “  


Voldemort cut him off. “What I need from you, Severus, is your absolute loyalty.”  


“You have it. Everything I do, everything you ask, my life is yours,” Severus gasped as he tried to raise his body from cold floor.  
“Do I, Severus? I have heard a lot words from you but very little action.”  


Severus winced, wondering what the Dark Lord would demand of him to prove his loyalty. He managed to pull himself to a sitting position and bowed his head. His legs were too weak to kneel and hoped this would not anger his master further. “Whatever you ask, My Lord.”  


Voldemort continued his pacing, deep in thought. Finally, he paused in front of the fallen man, sneering down at him. “You will continue to play your role with the old man and I expect more pertinent information, but I also want proof that you are dedicated to my long-term goals.”  


Severus glanced up with a questioning look on his face. “Sir?”  


“After Potter is dead and I am in control of the Ministry, I will push my power further--controlling magic and muggle. What can you do to help with that goal?” Severus was a loss for words. Not sure exactly what the Dark Lord wanted, he kept silent and Voldemort continued. “You are supposed to be the brightest potioneer of your generation. What can you create to help me on my way to glory? Figure it out, Severus and decide quickly. You have a lot to prove to me.” With a swish of his robes, the Dark Lord left his trembling servant behind.  


Several minutes later, Severus had the strength to stand up and limp from the room, trying to come up with a plan. 

\--------------------------------------

 

“Do you have a plan?” The elderly man inquired, his normally twinkling eyes filled with concern as the younger man sat across from him. “I cannot emphasize enough the importance of you staying in Voldemort’s good graces. What about the poison you are working on?”  


“It is complete as well as the antidote,” conceded Potion Master. “I will wait as long as possible to turn it over. You must distribute the antidote about ten days after symptoms first develop. At that point, the people’s condition won’t be so far to be irreversible but the Dark Lord, hopefully, won’t be suspicious that the antidote was created prior to the poison’s distribution.”  
Dumbledore nodded in approval, “hopefully, that will keep him satisfied.”  


“Hopefully,” conceded Snape, “but I doubt it. He wants a long-range plan. He hinted toward something to help him control the muggle world when the time comes.”  


Dumbledore theorized, “and you have a plan for this as well.” Snape shot him an incredulous look. How did that man always seem to know everything? The Headmaster smiled, “Severus, I have known you for a long time. You always have a plan. . . and then a back-up plan. I do not recall ever seeing you unprepared. It is one of your strengths that I have come to depend on.”  


Snape sighed. The old man was right. Sometimes, Albus knew him too well and it made Severus uncomfortable. “Yes, I have a plan but I’m not sure if you will like it. Have you ever heard of Scopolamine?” Severus glanced up to a blank face. He allowed himself a small triumphant smile. It wasn’t too often that he understood a concept better than the Headmaster, let alone introduced a new topic to the man although he admitted to himself if it was to happen, it would be in potions. “I’m not surprised. It’s a muggle drug commonly used for nausea. However, in large doses, it has an interesting side effect-amnesia which has caught the interest of a young neurochemist in the United States. She believes with certain modifications, it could be used as a mind-influencing drug. Her theories were published in the New England Journal of Medicine and do have some merit. Not only were her ideas fascinating but her methodology intriguing.”  
“How so?” inquired Dumbledore.  


“If I didn't know better, I would say that she has a background in potions. The way she refers to certain plants, the procedures she does, even the way she views how ingredients react together, it is more potion-like than muggle chemistry. Theoretically, I could adapt her ideas to create a potion that would influence the minds of muggles. Dispersed strategically, it would make it much easier to control their population. I have enough evidence to convince the Dark Lord of the possibility but the actual development and implementation would take years which gives us more time.  


“What about the girl?” Dumbledore didn’t waste time. Your muggle-loving tendencies are showing old man, Severus thought.  


Severus sighed, “That is why I knew you would be leary of the plan. I really don’t think the girl is a concern. I will convince the Dark Lord that I just need her research, not her. Besides, she lives in America and he will never concede to have a muggle working for him no matter how talented she is.”  


Dumbledore leaned back in his chair and exhaled, “Let’s hope you are right, Severus. Even the best laid plans of mice and men can go awry.”1  


Severus nodded in agreement. He prayed the same thing because, although he didn’t want to admit it to the headmaster, he didn’t have a back-up plan. If Voldemort wanted to use the girl, there wasn’t much Severus could do to prevent her death.


	2. The Little Old Lady with the Killer Wand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ . . . mostly he just wanted to finish the job and get out of America. He was beginning to think King George III was correct. This country was more trouble than it was worth.”

Disclaimer: This is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her.

September 1st, a day steeped in tradition for young witches and wizards passed without major fanfare although a few minor changes could be noted. The Sorting Hat’s new song ended to a stunned audience. Severus had not heard the Hat dispense such a dire warning since his own days at school and hoped the students would take the words to heart. “Especially more than the Ministry is,” he thought glaring down the table at the new DADA teacher. Once again his desired position had been usurped. This time by a toad in a pink sweater.

Harry looked miserable as he entered the Great Hall. People were obviously whispering about him, none of it positive but the boy just gritted his teeth and walked over to the Gryffindors. “Perhaps something good will come of the Ministry’s obsession with denial. Perhaps it will bring Potter down a peg or two,” Severus mused silently.

____________________________________ 

Severus managed the first week of attempting to cram potion knowledge into the imbecilic brains of the returning brats before the summons came with a distinct pain on his left arm. He swept out of the castle and apparated immediately. An hour later, he had returned, weighing the pros and cons of the meeting. No pain had been inflicted on him but Goyle had not been so lucky. Voldemort did demand the new poison that Severus had concocted. Seeing that his procrastination would no longer be viable, the potion master had promised it to Voldemort by the end of the week. Satisfied with his answer as well as some information Dumbledore and Severus had planned out, Voldemort never asked about Severus’s long range plans of loyalty. Snape breathed a sigh of relief although he knew it would be short-lived. Voldemort never forgot a conversation or a threat. He always carried through when they become a priority.

Potter was as obnoxious as ever and Snape took great pleasure in giving him a zero for his Draught of Peace on the first day of classes. It become clear, by the end of the second week, however, that Snape had lost the honor of being the most hated teacher at Hogwarts falling to second place in favor of that insipid woman, Dolores Umbridge. In truth, Severus couldn’t blame the students. She was abhorrent; however, she paid him little mind. As a fellow Slytherin and master at making children miserable, she seemed to hold him in some respect.

Just before the Halloween feast, Voldemort demanded Severus’s ideas. The summons and demands came much quicker than Severus had anticipated which made him even more concerned about the Dark Lord’s possible suspicions of him. He outline the muggle girl’s theories and possible benefits to combining muggle chemistry with wizarding potions. Surprisingly, it took little convincing to use muggle ideas. Voldemort was willing to use whatever means necessary to achieve his quest of world domination; however, the conversation soon turned south when Voldemort told Severus to bring him the girl. 

“I don’t need the girl, my Lord. She is just a complication. I just need a copy of her research which I can easily obtain.” Severus walked the tightrope of persuasion and demanding, a line that was even thinner than normal when talking to the Dark Lord. 

“Tell me, Severus, how much education have you had in neurochemistry and psychopharmacological agents?” Snape glanced up at the snake-like face and realized that he had deeply misjudged Lord Voldemort. He understood much more about muggle chemistry and Severus’s ideas than he originally realized. He also understood that Severus, realistically, could accomplish little without the girl’s insight. “Bring me the girl. If she cannot impress me with her intellect, perhaps she can please me in other ways.” A sinister sneer formed on his lips. “Oh and Severus. I don’t want as many excuses and procrastinations as you gave me with that poison. Have the girl here in two weeks or else.”

____________________________________

When he explained the situation to Dumbledore, he only received look of sympathy. Snape wished that he would rage at Severus for Severus Snape felt like raging at himself. Dumbledore simply helped him arrange his reason for traveling across the Pond and said, “Perhaps it won’t be all bad for the girl. Sometimes fate seems to turn close a door on us but when we least expect it, opens a window. By the way, does this girl have a name?”

“A name?” Severus questioned dumbly.

“Yes, Severus, a name. Because of your decisions, you have probably subjected this girl to large amounts of your time as well as almost definite pain and torture. Perhaps you should think of her by her name--make her more human in your eyes.”

Severus Snape bowed his dark head contritely. Dumbledore’s wisdom at such the simplest things irked him but he knew the headmaster was correct. Thanks to Severus’s meddling, this girl’s world was about to be turned upside down. He needed to develop some compassion, a trait, he knew he was often lacking. “Maerna. Her name is Maerna Danazul.”

___________________________________________________

Five days later, Snape landed in the International Portkey Terminal of MACUSA, a muggle soda can in hand. Under the auspices of shopping for fresh Alihotsy leaves, a potion ingredient native to the Americas, Snape quickly exited the building and completed his shopping to support his story. 

Then he met with Josiah Jenkins, an American sympathizer for Voldemort’s cause. Although not his favorite person, Severus had to admit that Lucius Malfoy’s global contacts were useful especially considering the timetable he was on. Swathed in a navy blue robe and blessed with a pointy chin, pale hair and permanent sneer, Snape’s first impression was that he had just met a 40 year old Draco Malfoy. He was flanked by two men, both just as surly, but neither looking as intelligent. 

Jenkins and Snape discussed their timetable and expectations. The American could not understand why this Brit needed three other people to apprehend a nomaj girl. Couldn’t he handle such a simple task himself? Still, the money was right for an easy job and he’d be home before dinner, so why should he complain. Plus, the tall, dark man gave off the aura of power. He was definitely someone Jenkins didn’t want to argue with.

Snape, himself, was uneasy about this assignment. Why had he asked for three men? He wasn’t sure, but there was a nagging feeling that this assignment wasn’t as simple as he hoped. 

They flooed to a Blacksburg, Virginia and then apparated to a quaint home deep in the Appalachian Mountains. The house was well tended. In the springtime, Severus could imagine the lawn artistically decorated with flowers, but the signs of winter were already present and the yard was falling into its dormancy of dull browns and grays. Jenkins muttered something about “ugly nomaj houses,” but Severus wasn’t so sure. There was magic in the air. He could sense it but just not pinpoint its exact location. Just before he rang the doorbell, he turned to his companions with his most frightening stare that usually sent students running, “No deaths. I need whoever is in there alive for interrogation.” 

A faint voice called out, “Come in!” and Severus cautiously turned the doorknob. The entrance way was simple and clean, Landscapes of famous sites adorned the hallway whereas the dining room art leaned more towards Georgia O’Keefe style--definitely a muggle house. The men stepped into the living room with their wands out only to face a little old lady in a wheelchair. She stared at them with a surprise on her face but her eyes spoke of shrewdness and experience. She gave off the air of fragility if one did not notice the details. Severus Snape noticed details. His companions did not. 

“How may I help you gentlemen? This is not an unexpected social call, is it?” The woman inquired warily. 

One of Jenkin’s henchmen snorted and Snape shot him a look. “No, we are looking for Maerna Danazul. Our business is with her.” 

The woman’s face remained blank for a second before she donned a slightly puzzled look. “I’m sorry gentlemen. You must have the wrong house. I don’t know anyone by that name.” 

“She’s lying,” thought Snape as he stared into the her indigo eyes, but that was as far as he got before a wall shot up and pushed him out of her mind. The woman’s eyes immediately narrowed to slits. Snape was so intent on her face that he he didn’t notice the wand protruding from her sleeve. “Such a stupid mistake,” he thought as he and the others dove to the floor. Rolling to his side, Snape tried to disarm her only to find it easily blocked. Now all three Americans were also focused on the woman. “Don’t kill her!” yelled Snape as curses flew in both directions. 

The entire fight lasted maybe 15 seconds but it was enough. Snape pulled himself off the floor to find the woman dead in her chair-her eyes wide open, wand still in her hand. “Who sent the Avada Kedavra?” he demanded. He whipped around to only find two men staring back at him, one bent over, blood oozing from his side. The other shook his head back and forth mutely. Jenkins didn’t respond. He lay spread eagle on the floor. His eyes just as dead as the woman’s. Snape smiled despite himself. Who was have considered a little, old lady in a wheelchair could be so adept at the killing curse? 

Grumbling, he moved over to the injured man and healed him with little thought. Then he glared at them instilling the fear he wanted. “I need to find Maerna Danazul. Unfortunately, one of you idiots just killed my best lead. Now tear this house apart and find me something!” He shot a minor hex at each one forcing them to scramble back and begin to search frantically. 

Snape, himself, wandered around the house trying to understand the old lady. She was obviously lying. She knew Maerna and knew her quite well. One might even say there was love behind those eyes before her occlumency closed off her mind to him. What was their relationship? Child and grandmother? Aunt and niece? Good Neighbors? Yet, there was no evidence such a girl existed in the house. The other bedroom looked like a guest room. The only personal pictures was an oil painting of the much young lady, clad in white standing next to her new husband. Upon closer inspection, Snape noticed that it was a magical painting that had been charmed to stay still. In fact, the more Snape inspected the house, the more he realized there were magical components hidden throughout so it appeared to be a muggle house. Still, there wasn’t any evidence of a young woman who was the upcoming star in psychopharmacology and neurochemistry. 

The only thing of interest was a key. It was obviously to a safe-deposit box at a bank. He might have overlooked it except for the keychain was attached to a giant M. Upon closer inspection, Severus realized that although the key itself was not magical, it had been exposed to magic. These two clues hinted that the key was his best lead now. 

Unfortunately, there was no box number attached to it, only the name of the bank. Severus cursed. If he had the box number, it would be a simple matter of apparating in after dark, placing a freezing charm on the alarm and opening the box with magic. Unfortunately, there could be hundreds of boxes in that vault and he didn’t want to risk the time it would take to open and search all of them. No, Severus would have to use his back-up plan. He walked back over to the woman’s body and stared at it. Then he turned to henchmen and asked, “Do either of you know a woman who would be willing to spend an hour or two in my company?” Both of them stared at him and nodded. “Good,” he continued. He reached down and used a severing charm to remove some of the woman’s hair. “I hope she can act like a little, old lady.” 

_________________________________________________

Snape insisted that they visit the bank that afternoon. In part because he didn’t want the authorities to realize that the real woman was dead but mostly he just wanted to finish the job and get out of America. He was beginning to think King George III was correct. This country was more trouble than it was worth. 

The henchmen’s names were Tristan and Clarke, Snape learned. Once the men realized why Severus needed a woman, Clarke volunteered his wife, Ember, who had been the lead in the play their last year at Ilvermorny. The woman played her part well looking frail but a determined demeanor that showed everyone that her mind was as sharp as her body was weak. Severus, also after gulping some polyjuice potion, took the role of a healer’s assistant as he pushed her wheelchair into the bank.

The actual process into the vault met no resistance. The woman’s identification card and key gained them entrance. After the bank worker left them alone, Severus quickly put up several detection charms and proceeded to pull the box out of its cubby. Before, he turned the key, however, a tingling warning gave him pause. “Step back,” he demanded. Ember quickly pushed herself and the chair backwards. 

“Have you ever seen a curse breaker at work?” he inquired. The woman shook her head negative. Severus went onto explain “In our bank, Gringotts, many treasures are protected by curses daring a thief to attempt his job. This box is well guarded. Give me a moment, please.” 

Severus studied the box carefully for several minutes. The box had many layers of protection mostly like put on by the little, old lady who was begrudgingly earning Severus’s respect albeit posthumously. After many complicated hand motions and mutterings as well as black and purple smoke emitting from the container, Severus relaxed and turned the key. Inside were a variety of papers and photographs. A cursory glance told him that everything he needed to know about Maerna Darnazul was in this box.

His intruder charm only gave him a few seconds warning. He shoved Ember down to the ground as the wall next to them exploded. Severus let out one of his father’s favorite curse words to direct at him. The MACUSA’s aurors were much more organized than he had given them credit for. Ember was wedged under a pile of concrete. She cried out in pain as she tried to move her leg. No doubt it was broken but even if it wasn’t, in that body, she was too weak to walk on her own. She was definitely a liability. The look on her face meant she had drawn the same conclusion and was sure he would leave her there.

Severus hastily thrust up several protection charms. They would only give him a few seconds but that was all he needed. As the aurors magicked them from all angles, Severus reached into this pocket for a sewing thimble-another back-up plan. With one hand, he grabbed the box and Ember’s arm with the other. The thimble glowed blue and the rubble remains of the bank disappeared from view. 

_____________________ 

Twenty-four hours after he arrived in the United States, Severus was awaiting his portkey in the New York MACUSA terminal. In plain view, was his package of Alihotsy leaves. Transfigured under many protective charms was the safe-deposit box.

Ember had questioned him silently with her eyes. She couldn’t believe that a Death Eater had taken those few precious seconds to rescue her. She received no answer but a cold stare. 

No one asked about Josiah Jenkins, either because Tristan and Clarke had already informed them or, more than likely, because no one really cared. Snape’s last fleeting thought of America was actually of Draco Malfoy, hoping that he would live a longer life and with more loved ones than Jenkins had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the little old lady, Laurel Little. Although she is no longer with us, she’ll become important later in the story, You are about to meet her granddaughter who has just as much spunk as her.


	3. Maerna the Muggle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The muggle beer was disgusting but it was just as well. He needed to stay sharp and shouldn’t be drinking tonight.”

Disclaimer: This is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

Dolores Umbridge had tried to question Snape about his disappearance but he brushed her off citing that he had been here for his duties on Friday evening and had returned for a meeting on Sunday afternoon. He had not missed anything requiring his attendance in between and, as a teacher, had the right to leave when he wanted. Umbridge’s toad-face turned to a frown and looked as if she wanted to stomp her pretty flamboyant pink-shoe, but Severus simply turned his back and headed for the dungeon.  


After dinner, Dumbledore and Snape studied the box’s contents. Maerna was indeed the old lady’s granddaughter. It seemed that Laurel Little had married Joseph Darnazul, a wizard, in the early 1940s. The papers didn’t say if Maerna’s parents were magical but they died when Maerna was quite young and she was raised by Laurel.  


Maerna appeared to be a squib. She attended a muggle primary school for her first seven years of education and then moved onto an exclusive private school for muggle girls. Here she excelled in the sciences, particularly biology and chemistry. Acceptances to William and Mary, Harvard and MIT and then equally prestigious grad schools filled the next decade of her life. As Severus already knew, she had risen to the top as a promising star. Many suggested that she might be the one to eventually find a cure for schizophrenia or autism. At the moment, however, she was back in academia working at the Nuffield Department of Clinical Neurosciences at. . . Snape dropped the paper and banged his head on the large oak desk as Dumbledore looked up in alarm.  


“She’s been here the entire time, Albus,” Snape groaned. “She’s at Oxford University.”

 

____________

The jaws of eighteen little Ravenclaws and Gryffindors dropped as their potions teacher announced that they could leave twenty minutes early Friday The third years didn’t ask questions but scurried out like mice. Before they had even reached their towers, Severus Snape was leaving the gates of Hogwarts and apparating to the campus of Oxford University.  


Just two blocks away was Maerna’s flat. It was an old building but not old enough to be considered classical architecture. Maerna lived on the third floor. Snape checked for any magical traces but found none on her door or once he was inside.  


It seemed a typical flat for a muggle not that Severus had a lot of experience. The leftovers and cans in the kitchen suggested that Maerna was not a gourmet cook but rather ate when she remembered to make it a priority. “A bit like me,” he mused. Stacks of books filled the floor to ceiling shelves in the living room. Most of the titles were science oriented but there was also a variety of history, philosophy and muggle classics. Severus flipped through Hermann Hesse’s famous novel before returning it to the shelf. It was obvious that Maerna was a well educated girl. . . woman. Severus had to correct himself remembering that her 30th birthday was coming soon.  


The flat had two bedrooms, the first of which must have been her roommates. The second was obviously hers. Pictures of her, her grandmother and a man, he could only assume was her boyfriend by the way he hugged her, adorned her dresser. He flipped on the computer and allowed it to boot up but quickly realized he was out of his element on how to run the contraption. It beeped at him several times asking for a password. For a brief moment, he considered attempting to bypass the password with magic but just as quickly dismissed the idea. Magic and electronics did not get along. He was more likely to ruin the machine than to pull any information from the box of a brain it had.  


Pausing his random hunt, Severus marveled how much had changed in muggle houses since he last lived in one almost twenty years prior. Microwaves, VCR players and computers had not been easily accessible, not that the Snapes could have afforded any of them. It was interesting to see how muggle inventions helped them solve problems without magic.  


Now, Severus had to make a decision-whether to wait for her here or go find her. Logic would dictate to wait until she returned home, but Severus was feeling restless. He followed Park End Street across a small river and stopped at the Nuffield building.  


Just as he debated if he wanted to enter, the door was pushed open by a small group of graduate students. A young man was teasing a young woman about her work ethic especially on a Friday. “Come on, Maerna. You can’t work all the time. It’s almost 6:00. Join us at the pub.” The woman shook her blonde hair. She really wasn’t beautiful-rather average looking, Severus noted, but she had an aura of enthusiasm as she spoke which lit up her face and made one want to listen to her ideas. She used her hands to animate the conversation about the experiment she was currently working on. “I just want to grab a quick bite at the food hall before heading back to the lab.”  


A series of groans followed suit. “Absolutely not,” replied a slightly plump redhead, Maerna’s roommate. “Jasper, I think it’s time for a kidnapping.”  


Jasper obviously agreed because he picked up the blonde and carried her shrieking and laughing toward the pub. Severus followed at a discrete distance casting an eavesdropping charm as they jostled good naturedly down the path. Eventually Maerna agreed to join them, so Jasper set her down. As her feet hit the ground, her eyes looked up to Severus and made contact. Chills hit him as her eyes narrowed on his face. It was as if she recognized him as not belonging, as a wizard. He doubled checked his appearance. His clothing fit right in with university students and the brown hair, blue eyes face he currently wore would not be recognizable by anyone. By the time, he glanced back at her, the girl had turned and engaged the roommate again in conversation.  


The pub was crowded. Severus bumped into several people as he meandered around. Maerna’s group seemed to have snagged the last table, so Severus chose a spot at the bar from which he could easily view her without being noticed. The muggle beer was disgusting but it was just as well. He needed to stay sharp and shouldn’t be drinking tonight.  


After several hours, Maerna and her roommate bade their goodbyes and headed, not back to the lab but to home. Severus found a small alley and apparated back to Voldemort’s headquarters. Given his last experience attempting to find the girl, he wanted back-up again. Even if it was just so a little, old granny had someone else to fire a killing curse at.  


By the time the girls had entered their apartment, Snape had returned with two other Death Eaters, Crabbe and Macnair, who were dressed as police inspectors. Macnair wanted to barge in but Snape refused. This was going to be done with stealth not brute force. The roommate answered Crabbe’s knock. When they identified themselves as Scotland Yard, her eyes widened but she called for Maerna.  


“Good evening, ma’am,” Snape addressed her cordially. “We need to talk to you about something urgently.”  


Suspicion immediately filled her eyes. “About what exactly?” she demanded.  


“It’s about your grandmother,” Severus lied smoothly but Maerna wasn’t going to be convinced so easily.  


“Scotland Yard, huh?” Crabbe and Macnair, annoyed with the charade nodded. “Working for a safer London extends all the way to Oxford?” Crabbe gave her a puzzled look while Macnair reached for something in his pocket but she abruptly turned her back on them, “Leilani, I think these men need to meet with me privately. Do you mind hanging out at Tempest’s for awhile and I’ll come get you when we’re done?”  


“Sure, Maerna.” Leilani grabbed her purse and headed for the door with a concerned frown on her face. “I’ll see you in a few minutes.”  


There was a pregnant pause after the girl left the flat. Severus resumed in his silkiest voice, “Actually, we would rather talk to you at our headquarters, if that is okay.”  


If the woman looked surprised, she didn’t show it. “Sure, let me just get my jacket.” She walked to her bedroom and quickly returned with a jacket in hand. Severus was just considering how easy this had been when a glint of metal reflected out of the woman’s hand. Before he could react, a loud bang emanated from the metal and Crabbe fell to his knees. Another bang was directed at Macnair but Severus threw up a shield and the bullet reflected back zinging around the room before embedding into the couch. Before, she could get off another round, the wizard summoned the gun from her hand and bound her hands.  


Fury etched in his face as he stomped toward her. “You little. . . “ he seethed but didn’t finish his sentence.  


“Can you blame me?” the muggle pointed out. “Scotland Yard, my ass. Your partners didn’t even recognize Scotland Yard’s slogan. Now, what do you want with me?”  


Severus didn’t answer but rather put her in a full body bind. “Macnair, take Crabbe and get him some help. He’s losing a lot of blood.” Macnair nodded and apparated them out as Snape turned back to the woman who was glaring at him through her bind. Severus released her. He opened his mouth still trying to determine what to say when a loud pop made him jerk his head up. A wizard, obviously American, glanced around to ascertain situation of the room and trained his wand onto Severus, but Snape was too fast sending a hex as the man jumped behind the couch. Severus went for another only to find his aim much too high because someone had grabbed his arm. Furious, Severus shoved her to the side. Did this woman ever stop trying to interfere with him kidnapping her?  


After several more hexes at the man and another body bind at the woman, the professor finally had everything how he like it with him in control. He trained his wand on the American trying to determine who he was and why he was here. “Well, sir. It seems that we are both after the same thing, Miss Maerna Danazul, but I have won this battle so what should I do with you?” He didn’t really expect the man to answer and indeed the only reply was a mutinous stare. Nonplussed, Severus raised his wand back toward the man ready to strike again, “No!” the woman pleaded, “Leave Brent alone! If I go with you quietly, will you promise to not hurt him?”  


“No, Maerna! Your grandmother was found. Someone had mur . . “ A Silencio ended his plea as Severus considered the woman’s offer. It was obvious that she knew the wizard and even cared for him. Taking her by force was starting to give him a headache and a casualty list was growing. Plus the man had no idea who he was in his disguise or why he was here.  


He nodded his acceptance of her offer and released her bind. Then he turned to the man and loosened his. “You should be able to wiggle out of those bindings now, but if I see you try before we leave, then the consequences will be dire,” Snape threatened. The man nodded, obviously believing him. Severus grabbed woman’s left arm and whispered into her ear, “Sorry, darling. There is no time to let you pack.”  


As he prepared to apparate, Maerna slipped a small dagger out of her belt and sliced toward his left arm. Severus saw it just before she struck, but she didn’t attempt to stab him but rather sliced open his shirt sleeve. “Brent!” she yelled as she pushed open the hole to expose the Dark Mark. Severus hissed as he realized she had exposed himself as a Death Eater. They were already being sucked into that hole when he saw Brent nod in acknowledgement.  


Tightness surrounded his being but the woman still seemed to be wiggling in his grip. His feet just hit the ground as she twisted in his arms with the knife still in her hand. This time it was aimed at his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of Maerna? She’s certainly going to be a challenge to Snape, but I think he needs that. Too many times he gets what he wants with just a sneer and a sharp retort.


	4. Never Amuse A Dark Lord. . . . Don't Anger Him Either

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I wouldn’t try that, muggle. Snape rather likes that wand and I’m sure you like your neck.”

Disclaimer: This is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

Pain, anger, disbelief coursed through Snape as he stared at the blonde in his arms. Blood was already spouting out of his neck like a fountain. She had knicked an artery, he realized as his legs began to feel faint. Taking advantage of his temporary paralysis, she completed her twist, wrenched her arm free and kneed him between his legs. Snape doubled over and she grabbed his fallen wand. “How did this happen?” he questioned himself as he saw his own wand pointing at him. “She can’t do anything. She is a muggle. . . isn’t she?”  


But Maerna wasn’t attempting to use his wand, he understood with an even deeper horror. but rather to break it. As she raised it, to bring it down upon her knee, a voice rang out, “I wouldn’t try that, muggle. Snape rather likes that wand and I’m sure you like your neck.” The woman took in her surroundings to realize that Severus had apparated them into a den of Death Eaters. At least eight wands were pointed at her.  


Slowly, Maern set the wand and the knife on the ground and backed away. Severus groaned in pain as he reached for his wand and struggled to his feet. He attempted to heal the deep wound on his neck. It worked temporarily but he would need to be attended to. Fury etched in his face has he stared at the woman. “You bitch!” he snarled.  


“Absolutely,” she smiled sweetly, “and proud of it.”  


“Enough!” a voice commanded. Lucius Malfoy entered from the next room. “Our master is waiting eagerly to see the muggle and he doesn’t like to be kept waiting.” He turned abruptly his robe swishing behind him, his snake head cane clinking on the wooden floor.  


At the moment, Severus felt so murderous toward the women that he didn’t care what happened to her, but his shoulder immediately sagged from this thought. It was his fault that she was here. It was his fault that she was probably about to experience the worst night of her life. No muggle had ever walked into that room and lived to tell the tale. Although he mused grimly, she would hopefully be the first. Someone handed him some dittany which he dabbed on his neck. With one last tender to touch to the wound, he put his hands on her shoulders and steered her toward the door.  


Severus had to give her credit. Maerna held her head proudly as she walked onward. She only paused a moment when she saw him sitting on his chair like a throne across the room. What looked like a glimpse of recognition flitted across her face before she recomposed herself and cast her eyes downward. Snape continued her march, stopping her just before the dias. The hands on her shoulder forced her to a kneeling position and then he slowly joined her, pain still radiating from his groin and his neck thanks to her earlier moves.  


“So, you are the muggle I have heard so much about.” The high, clear voice boomed out; its evilness reflecting off the dark panels of the room and causing involuntary her shivers.  


“I assume so,” Maerna replied, “and you are evidence that the Brit’s Ministry of Magic is as ineffective as MACUSA. It obviously would rather bury its head in the sand like an ostrich than to acknowledge a problem has arisen or, as in your case, rearisen.” Severus could not believe the audacity of this woman. Although her tone and words were not disrespectful, he would never have addressed the Dark Lord in such a manner.  


The Dark Lord, however, didn’t seem upset but rather amused as a soft chuckle escaped his thin lips. He turned his snake-like eyes towards Snape, “And you, Severus. What happened to you?” he inquired noting the hastily healed gash on his neck.  


“Nothing that I need to bother you with, my Lord.” Severus was still smarting from almost being beaten by a muggle.  


Maerna, however, couldn’t seem to keep her mouth shut. “It’s a gash from a poisoned knife.”  


“Poisoned?” thought Severus. “What type?”  


Maerna seemed to read his thoughts. “Don’t worry the poison is minor, more of an inconvenience. Unless of course you try to heal it with dittany. Then it will deepen and strengthen.”  


Severus just stared at her aghast. Surely, she had to be joking, but she looked at him dead in the eye completely serious. “There is no such poison,” Severus growled. “I know poisons.”  


“Oh, it’s my own special recipe. I call it a counter antidote. If you decompose an antidote into its simplest components and then retest them for limiting reagents, reactants can be found that actually strengthen the original chemical bonds of the potion. A simple gravimetric analysis should yield the answers you need, but I doubt you even know what that is since it’s muggle chemistry.” Despite kneeling before the darkest wizard in a century, Maerna turned to Severus with a dazzling smile. She was determined to win this round.  


Voldemort really did laugh this time. The room was stunned at such a display from their master and were unsure if they were supposed to join in or not. Voldemort, however, stopped quickly and turned to Snape. “Well, Severus it looks like you have your work cut out for you. This is your project. I expect to see results.” Then he grabbed the chin of Maerna forcing her to look at him in the eye. “You may be a squib but you are obviously a well-informed one. Severus and you have a mission. If you succeed, I’ll make your death less painful. If you don’t, you’ll beg for it.” Then he enjoyed a few moments of Cruciatus, just to make sure his message was clear.

 

_________________________________________________

 

Drip, drip, drip. The water was cold as it splashed from above. It was monotonous with its steady sound. It was agonizing as it reminded her of where she was. It was cruel as it reminded her of what was to come. “Fourteen days,” Maerna shivered. “I’ve been here fourteen days and fourteen nights. Fourteen days of dripping and fourteen nights of screams.”  


The timeline after Voldemort’s introduction to Maema of the Cruciatus curse was hazy at best. She had writhed on the floor, only able to focus on the Yew wand and the red eyes behind it. Every nerve was on fire screaming for relief or death. Then he just walked away. Whether brave or foolish, she lifted her head. The Dark Lord was conferring in the corner with Severus and that man with the blonde ponytail. At first the blonde looked satisfied and then annoyed but he bowed his head in obedience while smirking at Maerna from the side.  


Severus walked over and picked her up. She braced for more pain but his grip was surprisingly gentle. As he tried to stand her up, her legs gave away. Disgust escaped his lips but he swung her around and carried her out the door. But it wasn’t Severus that took her away, but the blonde man. Snape transferred her to him with a incalculable look and turned his heels. He did not look back. “It looks like it’s just you and me, darling,” croned the blonde man, “and we’re going to have a lot of fun.”  


The man’s name was Lucius Malfoy, Maerna learned later that night. “He’s well-named,” she mused, “named after the devil and having bad faith. Actually, I doubt he has any faith at all, except in his Master. It will get him in the end. If not in this life than the next.” Malfoy was, however, certainly living up to his name. For fourteen days, Maerna’s days had been filled with drips of water, stale bread and a bed of stone slab. Her nights had been filled with screams but not her own. She now thought she could interpret that look of satisfaction and then annoyance when Voldemort gave him instructions. She was not to be touched, at least not the way Lucius wanted to touch her.  


So, he didn’t. Every evening with a Firewhiskey in hand, he would bind her to a chair and play his games: games of throwing knives, games of hexes and curses, games of whatever sadistic idea he could come up with without touching her. Then he would start the “courtship” as he called it. It always started with the briefest touch and ended with her clothes ripped off. At the point, she knew he couldn’t hold it anymore, he would stalk out and into the darkness. Then the screaming would start. Someone else was getting touched.  


For fourteen days, she endured it and then she decided no more. He may have another muggle hidden in this labyrinth and although, Maerna couldn’t do anything for her, she was still going to be in control of her own destiny. If Lucius wanted her alive to be his plaything, then she would die. She refused to eat or drink. For days, food was left untouched and her face became pale and more drawn. Lucius, she noted with some satisfaction, was becoming unnerved. Evidently, the Dark Lord didn’t want her to die. He promised her nice clothing, a blanket, better food. He promised her that the courtship would stop if only she would eat. The only response was a small smile her her lips. As twisted as the situation was, she seemed to be, somewhat, in control.  


However, it wasn’t to last. Sick of her antics, Lucius imperioed her to force her to eat. Once she had the strength to sit up straight, the courtships continued with vigor. Some nights, she could feel herself gaining control again. Once she even yelled, “no!” but it was futile. He gave her a confused look but obviously didn’t think about it too much in his drunken haze and waved his wand. He was in control again.  


Thirty days, thirty-one, thirty-two. Each day passed the same. Drip, drip, drip, Each night continued-courtship and the other being touched.  


One day Maerna heard a loud pop, rather like an old-fashion popgun. She turned her head a fraction to see two large eyes and two bat-like ears staring at her. It was a house elf. This, in itself, didn’t surprise Maerna. A house elf brought her dinner down every night and disappeared without word. It had, obviously, been ordered not to talk to her. What first surprised her about this one was what he wore, not a tea towel, but a sweater, three scarves and two hats. The second thing to surprise her was that this house elf didn’t shut up. “Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! Look at miss! He’s doing terrible things to you. I knew he was. I may not belong here anymore but I can still sense it. I sense this house. I can sense the evil in here. Professor was so worried about you. He wasn’t happy that you were here but said there was nothing he could do. But Master Malfoy has done horrible things to you, to others, oh bad Dobby, bad Dobby.” The elf began to bang his head on her slab bed. Maerna grabbed him around the shoulders and using what little strength she had, pushed him away from his torture device. “Oh thank you miss. Thank you. Thank you. Doby still is free elf now but still, sometimes, has trouble saying bad things about his former owners. Miss is so kind to help Dobby. Miss is so brave to withstand this place. Miss is almost as brave and kind as the great Harry Potter.”  


Maerna smiled at the elf. “Thank you,” she croaked. Doby opened his mouth again when the door clanked open. Someone was coming down the stairs. Doby whispered, “I’ll be back, Miss. I’ll help you. I promise.” Then he disappeared as quickly as he came. Maerna drifted off to sleep. When she awoke, the dripping had started again. With each drip, Maerna pondered a thought. Was Dobby real or a hallucination?  


______________


	5. Love Conquers All and then Makes a Bigger Mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “An almost sinister smile played upon Snape’s lips. “I’m going to use your favorite weapon, Albus. I’m going to convince the Dark Lord that love is the answer.”

Disclaimer: This is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

Severus was pacing around the headmaster’s office as the elderly gentleman looked on from his chair. He has an amused expression about his protégé’s actions but the eyes lacked their usual twinkle. Dumbledore understood what a dangerous situation this was. “Severus, I’m sure if a hole could be worn into those floorboards from walking in circles, I would have done it years ago. Please, sit down.”  


Snape threw himself into his appointed chair. How many times had he sat here? How many hours had they discussed and theorized across this very desk? Dumbledore always had ideas. He could always find a solution. Although they were still fighting a war, he always managed to find a way to win a battle. . . well, except one. Snape closed his eyes allowing images of her red hair and green eyes to float across his vision. Then he banished the thoughts and glared at the other professor. “Albus, what am I going to do? At the rate Lucius is going, she’ll be dead by New Years.”  


Dumbledore’s brow furrowed. “I thought Voldemort ordered Lucius not to. . .”  


“Oh, he did and Lucius is following that order, so he has gotten much more. . . creative in his entertainment. Although the elf is prone to exuberance, I’m sure Doby’s report is accurate. I have to get her out of there.”  


“You are worried for the girl?” Dumbledore questioned. “You find her interesting.”  


“Her?” Snape was horrified, as if Dumbledore had just suggested Snape had committed treason against someone.  


“Oh, I don’t mean it in that way, but you two obviously have common interests and it sounds like your first encounter with her left you intrigued. I could see a friendship developing between you.” Dumbledore reassured him.  


“Intriguing!” Snape roared. “In the first 15 minutes of meeting her, she tried to shoot me, stabbed me twice and poisoned me.” Snape absentmindedly scratched at his neck. He had finally developed an antidote to her annoying antidittany concoction. A faint scar still ran down to his collar.  


Dumbledore smile. The twinkle returning to his eye. “Yes, that sounds like an excellent start of a friendship, Severus.”  


Severus just sent him a scathing look and continued the original conversation. “Even if I knew how to convince the Dark Lord to let me move her, where would I put her? Not here, there are too many students and that cow, Umbridge. Someone would find out she was here. The last thing I, and you for that matter, need is for people to realize that I have kidnapped an American squib to further the Dark Lord’s agenda. I’m hesitant to take her to Spinner’s End. Although I will put up wards, the neighbors are still too close and I don’t want to chance it. I loathe to send her to Grimmauld Place. Who knows what Black would do to her or say to me about the situation? What do you think Albus? Albus?  


Albus, however, was deep in thought. Sensing his hesitancy and pain, Fawkes floated down to comfort him. As he stroked the Phoenix’s feathers, Dumbledore turned to the younger man, a sad, faraway look in his eyes.”I might know of a place that is perfect. It’s a small cottage on the edge of a forest. There are no neighbors for miles around and it’s already well warded although you would be welcome to add your own. There is even a basement that is ideal for a potions’ lab.”  


Severus couldn’t help but asking, “How do you know about it? Who owns it?”  


Dumbledore gave him a sad smile. “I do. My family lived there for a short time after my sister became. . . . sick.”  


“Your sister?” Severus was shocked. Through other channels, he knew that Albus had had a sister but had never heard himself or Aberforth mention her.  


“Yes, my parents had hoped that the tranquility of the area would help calm her and bring her peace. Alas, it didn’t work. There are a lot of painful memories in that house, lots of reminders of the past, of regrets. Aberforth wants nothing to do with the cottage and I haven’t thought about it for years, but it’s yours if you would like.”  


“Thank you.” Severus knew the conversation about the past was now closed but he couldn’t resist one more question. “You really miss her, don’t you.”  


“ 'Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.' ” Dumbledore quoted. “I think you know that more than most, Severus.” A single tear slid down the old man’s cheek leading the two friends into companionable silence each having slipped into his own past. After a time, Dumbledore broke the stillness. “How are you going to convince Voldemort to let you move her?”  


An almost sinister smile played upon Snape’s lips. “I’m going to use your favorite weapon, Albus. I’m going to convince the Dark Lord that love is the answer.”

 

_____________________________________ 

Luckily Severus was summoned two days later. “If anyone consider being summoned by the Dark Lord as lucky,” Severus thought wryly. The Dark Lord strode across the dias, closely followed by his Nagini. Her tongue would flicker out every few seconds searching for fear and betrayal. He sat down slowly and absentmindedly stroked the viper’s head. Suddenly his reedy voice shrilled out,”WELL, WHAT DO YOU HAVE?” Voldemort wanted that prophecy and he was losing patience. He approved of Severus’s idea to try for the prophecy near the holidays when less people were at the Ministry. The spy took note to remind the Order to keep their guards up.  


After the meeting, Severus cautiously approached the evil wizard and bowed to one knee, waiting for acknowledgement. It came several minutes later with the flick of his wand.  


“My Lord, if I may intrude on you for a few moments but I need a favor to help with the plan we discussed several weeks ago.”  


Voldemort acknowledge him with a nod so Severus dared to continue. “While I appreciate Lucius taking care of the worthless muggle while I’m at my other duties, I need her in a different environment to get what I need out her.”  


“A different environment? I thought Lucius was doing a good job of instilling fear and teaching her what muggle’s position will be in my New Order.”  


“He is, my Lord, but she is stubborn. She refuses to be intimidated. She would rather choose death than subordination. If it was any other muggle, I would say if that is her choice, so be it, but I need her expertise for this plan to work. With this methodology, I fear her choice would be death or sabotage--either which would ruin the plan.” Severus chose his words carefully, not wanting to offend his Master.  


Voldemort and his evil pet looked down at him with contempt. The snake hissed a parseltongue warning. Voldemort merely sneered, “While your explanation has merit, there is a simple way to deal with this--the imperius curse. Why wasn’t this your first thought, Severus?” Voldemort’s voice cooed with malice. “Are you getting too soft? Don’t tell me one of my trusted servants would hesitate to inflict it.”  


“Of course not, my Master.” Snape hesitated. How could he phrase this without contradicting? “I would have to use it for months, probably years. I’m concerned about certain side effects of long-term imperius curse specifically, hallucinations and decrease of problem-solving skills and creativity. Any of these would make her less helpful. I need someone who can explain the neurochemistry and help me embed it into potions. She won’t be able to do that if she comes completely dependent on me for thought.”  


“Of course, she would,” snapped Voldemort. Severus waited quietly, head down in deference. Voldemort did not like to be contradicted and he despised being told something he should have known. The Master whipped around with his eyes trained on Severus. “Obviously, you came here with a suggestion.”  


“Yes, my Lord,” Severus said. “Love is a weak emotion. It allows people to be easily influenced by others. If utilized correctly, it allows one to manipulate and control another through subtle messages and actions. I think this may be the best course of action.”  


“Love!” sneered Voldemort, “not Dumbledore’s old theory but, you are right. People do the stupidest things in the name of love. They begin to trust, to add emotional attachment--such a waste. However, your idea won’t work, Severus. You talk about the need for an independently thinking partner. One sip of Amortentia and she’ll agree to anything and everything you say.”  


Severus, of course, already knew this but only asininity would make him voice this. Instead, he nodded with a pensive look on his face. “Then I’ll have to make her fall in love with me the old-fashion way. Then I will be able to control her beliefs in freedom without damaging her abilities in muggle chemistry.”  


Voldemort burst out in laughter. “This will be worth it if only for the entertainment. Severus Snape trying to make an attractive, young woman fall in love with his greasy black hair and large nose. Go, make the arrangements, but Severus,” he paused to ensure that kneeling man was making eye contact, “last time, I saw you, she had the upper hand and it was your blood was dripping on the floor. Make sure that doesn’t happen again. Remember who you are and that she is nothing.” He slowly reached down and deliberately scratched the snake’s head. Voldemort’s veiled threat was loud and clear in Snape’s ears.  


“Always, my Lord. I never forget.” Severus slowly backed away again only turning around after Voldemort had lost interest in him.

 

_______________________________________  


Two hours later, Lucius was escorting Severus down to his dungeon. A shell of the woman sat on the floor. She wrapped her arms around her drawn-up knees in an attempt of warmth, but was still shivering violently. Pale and haggard, dirt streaked through her blonde hair and down her face. For a moment, Severus thought that she had lost that spirit, but as Lucius unlocked the iron bars, her gaze fell to the black haired man. Immediately, her eyes narrowed and the fire rekindled behind them. Maerna remembered him quite clearly and she wasn’t happy that he was back.  


“Darling, it seems our fun times have come to an end. I’m sure you remember Severus. He’ll be in charge of your education now, but I enjoyed our time together. Perhaps we can do it again.” She completed ignored the mocking voice, Severus observed. Instead she stared Snape’s outstretched hand. “You have to trust me sometime,” he said.  
“Trust you to do what?” she asked.  


Severus just smiled. He grabbed her arm, hauled her up to her feet, and dragged her out of the cell. Maerna winced as she tripped, but he just tightened his hold on her bicep and continued his rapid pace. As soon as they were clear of Malfoy Manors’ wards, they apperated to the cottage.  


He released her immediately and opened the door, “Welcome, to your new home.” he attempted to be kind but his voice came out sneering and mocking. Maerna stepped through the threshold and looked around. The cottage hadn’t been used in years and Severus had spent several hours working on repairs; however, he hadn’t touched the dust and other signs of neglect. “This place desperately needs to be cleaned. A house elf will be here soon. The wards are extended to include a small backyard. You will not be able to move beyond them and I suggest that you don’t try or the consequences will be severe.” He thought his meaning clear but she continued to gaze around the room ignoring him. Severus gritted his teeth. He wanted some respect. She had been neglected and psychologically tortured for a month. She, better than anyone, should understand the threat and consequences but she showed no emotion to his words. Instead she flicked her finger across a dusty shelf and slowly blew the dirt off her fingertip,  


Finally after one more slow turn, her gaze finally fell on him. “So, I’m still a prisoner?”  


Severus inwardly sighed. Obviously his traditional sneers and menacing tone was not going to work with her. Remembering his plan, he switched tactics. He nodded and answered in a kinder voice, “a much nicer prison, but yes. I’m sorry.”  


Maerna’s eyes began to blaze hotter and hotter. Severus unconsciously took a step back. “You are sorry? You are sorry! What are you sorry for? For kidnapping me, for threatening my friends, for taking me away from my life, for abandoning me to Malfoy, for pulling me into your circle of evil and carnage that the only escape is death, FOR MURDERING MY GRANDMOTHER!” She launched at him, kicking, screaming, and biting-anything that might cause damage. Severus tried to hold her at bay but weeks of pent-up anger boiled up. The more she screamed, the brighter she seemed to glow until a flash of white radiated around of the room throwing the two of them into opposite walls.  


Smashing into the bookcase seemed to bring Maerna back to her senses and she laid there breathing heavily. Painfully, Severus pulled himself from the fireplace and walked over to her a strange look dawning on his face like he had just solved a puzzle but was weary of the solution.  
“What happened?” she asked.  


“I’m not entirely sure, but it seems to be over, so let’s not worry about it for now.,” he answered truthfully. Although he wouldn’t mention it, he had some idea. “However, I do want to talk to you. No, please listen.” Severus breathed deeply trying to stay in his kinder, softer persona. “Yes, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the things you mentioned. I’m more sorry than I can ever explain for everything that has happened to you since that night. I’m sorry for all of it except one. I did not murder your grandmother nor did I wish ill on her. However, given the circumstances, you should still hold me responsible for her death.” Maerna just stared in shock, so he continued. “I was in charge of a small contingent of American Death Eaters who entered her house. I told them no killing curses that we were only looking for information. Actually, we were looking for you. Your grandmother did everything she could to protect your location. There were four of us. At the end, she had severely wounded one and killed another.”  


Tears pooled around her eyes. “But it was all for naught. You still found me.”  


“Yes, I did,” he confirmed quietly. There was no gloating or sneering, only sadness.  


“Why? Why did you?” Maerna begged.  


“I will tell you, but that will be a long conversation, so I’d like to have it after you have had some sleep.”  


Maerna wanted to argue but with the mention of sleep, Maerna’s body seemed to turn to lead and her eyelids drooped. Severus tried to help her up, but she shook him off. He didn’t press her but showed her to her room. He also offered her a Dreamless Sleep Draught, but she, again, refused. “Why the hell would I trust a potion that you offered me?”  


Severus did not argue the point and set the potion on the nightstand if it was needed. “Get some sleep. I won’t normally stay the night but tonight I will stay in the other room. I promise we will talk tomorrow and I’ll answer many of your questions.”  


“Many, but not all of my questions,” Maerna challenged.  


“Yes, not all, but I will also promise never to lie to you.” She looked at him skeptically but recognized she’d never be able to argue as tired as she was. She crawled into bed and was asleep before Severus turned out the light.  


Severus walked into the living room and dropped to the sofa. He sat with his hands in his head for several minutes. What had he gotten himself into? What the hell was he thinking creating this situation? And now this flash of white light made it more complicated. The flash of magic didn’t come from him. It radiated from her which meant she wasn’t a muggle or a squib. Why didn’t she know? Why hadn’t she ever discovered her powers? Was this her first time doing magic? The situation created more questions than answers--answers he didn’t have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.” Quote by Kahlil Gibran


	6. Choices, Consequences and Complications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Instead she stared Snape’s outstretched hand. “You have to trust me sometime,” he said.
> 
> “Trust you to do what?” she asked.”

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

Maerna slowly awoke. She snuggled deep into the soft cloud that enveloped her. Stretching like a cat, she studied a nagging thought. She didn’t remember her bed at her apartment being this comfortable and that bed in the dungeon hadn’t. . . . Maerna sat up abruptly, events flooding back--Severus, that man with the piercing black eyes, with the sneering lips, the man who kidnapped her.  


Maerna threw her legs over the side of the bed and scanned the room. The furniture was old, very old, probably antique. It obviously hadn’t been used in a lot time because dust covered everything. She heard a tiny squeak. Flipping upside down, she glanced under the bed. What she found made her smile: dust bunnies. Her grandmother had always fought the good fight against them, but it looks like these were given free reign. A whole colony of hopping, squeaking balls of dust moved about the floor.  


Maerna flipped back up and contemplated her next move. She did not know where she was. She was surrounded by, most assuredly, very powerful wards. Even if she escaped, they would use magic to find her. She didn’t even know where the Ministry of Magic was located although she assumed it was probably hidden in London. The chance of her finding if before the Death Eaters found her was slim. As her feet hit the cold floor, chills ran up her legs. Plus, she admitted wryly, she needed some clothes. She had been in these rags for a month straight-a month without a shower. She shuffled over to the mirror. One glance and a grumbling stomach told her to keep her mouth shut and acquire at least some basic necessities before she thought of escape.  


Hesitantly, she opened the door to the smell of bacon sizzling. Standing in the kitchen was Severus, wand in one hand, frying pan in the other, and an annoyed look on his face. Did he ever not look annoyed? she wondered. As she approached, he turned around and scowled. “Why don’t you go take a shower,” he suggested nastily. “The aroma is rather . . . “ He wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Then, you can break your fast.”  


Maerna returned him a withering look. “I could but these are the only clothes I have. I’m sure putting them back on even after a shower would not be well received by your sensitive nose.”  


Severus nodded. “Dobby!” he called. Immediately, the house elf appeared.  


Maerna gasped, “I’ve met you.”  


Dobby nodded and reached up to grasp her hand. “It’s so good to see you again, miss. Dobby is so happy to see you out of that horrid place. Dobby found you and helped to rescue you.”  


“You found me?” Maerna glanced at Snape.  


“Oh yes,” Dobby knows that dungeon very well. When Doby told Pro. . . Mister about your condition, he went and got. . “  


“DOBBY!” Severus said sternly, “That’s enough! I didn’t call you here to prattle.” The elf’s ears dropped and he fell silent. “Miss Maerna would like to take a shower, but the condition of this house would horrify you. Please start with the bathroom and then find her some clothes to wear. Those rags need to be burned.” Severus leered at her mud-caked shirt. Dobby disappeared into the back of the house as Severus handed her a mug. “I hope tea is sufficient or do you, Americans, only drink coffee.”  


“Actually, I don’t like coffee unless it’s Starbuck’s Toasted White Chocolate Mocha.” Maerna added some milk to her tea.  


“A what?”  


“A Starbucks. . . oh, nevermind. It’s a nomaj thing.” Maerna explained.  


Severus rolled his eyes and returned to making breakfast. The quiet sounds of clinking pots and pans filled the air. After a few minutes, he placed two plates on the table- a feast of pancakes and bacon. He picked up his fork and began to eat when he realized that Maerna was murmuring with her head down and her hands clasped together. Impatiently, he waited until she was done. He had never been one for religious beliefs. He wasn’t sure if the concept of God made him relieved that something better than this was coming or horror in what he, personally, would find at the entrance to those gates.  


When she picked up her fork, Severus took a deep breath and started to talk. The impression he made and her reaction would determine what happened for the next few months. “Maerna. I need to talk to you about some important things. I hope you can wait until I’m done before you rage at me.”  


Maerna paused and studied him-the type of man he was, how best to handle him. Finally she made a decision. “Okay, I told myself this morning that I wouldn’t even think about escape until I had had food and a shower so you have my undivided attention.”  


Severus just stared. Did she just admit that she was planning on an escape attempt? Finally he gathered his thoughts, “Okay, so. . . I’m sorry. The is really is repugnant.” He waved his wand over her and immediately, the smell became at more tolerable.  


“Thank you.” she smiled.  


He waved his hand dismissively and continued. “I joined the Death Eaters at 17, My head was filled with ideas of glory and purity of wizards. My father was a muggle. He was a harsh man and I despised him so I despised all muggles, well most of them.”  


“Sounds like you were a damn Nazi,” she mumbled.  


He ignored her and continued. “That was four years before the Dark Lord disappeared. I learned many things in that time, some I regret and some that have made me wiser. However, the most important thing I learned was to decide what I truly believed in and why.”  


“This past June, the Dark Lord returned. Once you enter his service, only death releases you. Due to some of my past decisions and actions, my position was perilous. In short, the Dark Lord didn’t trust me and I really don’t blame him. I needed a way to convince him of my loyalty. I needed a plan. About that time, I read an article that intrigued me. “The Secondary Effects of Scopolamine and Its Possible Uses and Ethics Thereof.”  


Maerna’s head snapped up and her eyes widened. “That’s some heavy reading. A Death Eater reading from a nomaj scientific journal?”  


Severus shrugged. “I know potions. My beliefs may be aligned with my fellow Death Eater’s, but my respect for education is not. I will take knowledge from whatever source I find it, including, as you like to call yourself, a nomaj, and an American one at that.” A slight sneer formed on his lips.  
“Okay,” Maerna accepted. “What did you learn from my paper and why are you so interested?”  


Severus spent the next twenty minutes explaining his ideas, outlining possible scenarios. Maerna grew quieter and quieter. It was obvious that Severus did indeed know potions and its nomaj counterpart, chemistry, quite well. While Maerna’s paper had alluded to possible negative consequences of the plant’s use, she never imagined that the magical world might use her ideas. “But, why not?” she mused. “After all, some of my research comes from that world.”  


When Severus finished, he leaned back in expectation. “I’m impressed with your ideas,” Maerna admitted. “Horrified, but impressed.”  


“As am I with your abilities,” he admitted, “impressed that is.”  


“So that’s why I’m here,” she concluded. “You can’t possible expect me to willingly help you. You are asking me to create a potion that would control my people, make them psychological slaves to your Master.”  


“That’s exactly what I’m asking and no, I don’t expect you to willingly help me. Right now I’m just asking you to teach and learn. Teach me more about neurochemical analysis and I’ll teach you advanced potions.” Severus proposed.  


Maerna observed him shrewdly. “If I don’t agree, I’m sure you’ll threaten me with with dire consequences.”  


Severus glared at her, “Wake up Maerna. I don’t have to threaten you. You know know what will happen. The Dark Lord won’t just threaten and you’ve already lived through some of those consequences. You don’t have a choice.”  


“One always has a choice,” Maerna shot back.  


“True,” Severus lip curled upwards “but again all choices have consequences.”  


“I’m not afraid to die,” Maerna proclaimed.  


“Given your actions thus far, I don’t doubt it. However, let me ask you this. Do you think it’s your time to die or does your God have reasons for you to stay here?” Given Severus lack of comfort with such discussions, he couldn’t believe he’s ventured into her faith. However, it seemed to fit. Plus, he reflected he might be able to use it as a manipulation tool.  


Maerna sat quietly contemplating her choices. She sat for a long time with her eyes closed and Severus realized that she was praying. Did she actually think God would answer her? What a ridiculous notion! If life had taught Severus anything, it was that you were on your own and you made your own destiny.  
He was just about to interrupt her solitude when Dobby reappeared. “Bathroom is shining again and clothes are set out, sir. The state of this house is a disgrace sir. It hasn’t seen a house elf in many years.”  


Maerna smiled and rose from her chair. “Thank you, Dobby. I think I will take that bath now,” she said quietly. Severus watched her leave the room and a frown formed on his face. She was such a complicated woman and complicated wasn’t good. Complicated was difficult to foresee. Complicated was difficult to manipulate and worse of all complicated make him think.

 

_______________________________

Severus left that afternoon with the promise to return in a fortnight. He had “other obligations” to attend to which he refused to explain but said he would then return and would stay for a few weeks. For the meantime, Severus handed her a stack of books whose weight made her stagger. “For your study time. I expect you to be diligent. Doby will come back in the morning and evening to attend to you. He has been instructed to give you anything you need, within reason, of course.”  


“No poisonous knives,” Maerna inquired innocently.  


Severus growled and rubbed his neck. She would soon discover that he had removed any sharp utensil from the house, even the kitchen knives.. Dobby would have to bring his own back and forth for cooking.  


Life settled into a simple routine for Maerna. A natural academic, she absorbed the books with glee. After leafing through them, she realized that she had already read and brewed all the potions in two of them: Elementary Potion Brewing and The Basics of Potion Brewing. When her grandmother had realized her affinity for the sciences, she immediately introduced Maerna to the magical side. By the time she was twelve, Maerna ran her own potions lab down in their basement. Her grandmother would suggest and do the wand waving requirements, but let the girl work at her pace on her own “passion projects” as her grandmother referred to them. As Maerna entered high school chemistry, she started to see the parallels in the subjects and experimented with combining them. One of those said projects led to her published paper on the side effects of Scopolamine.  


Occasionally, she would venture out into the backyard, but as no one has supplied her with a coat and the temperature had dropped drastically, she was content to stay curled by the fire. The house was a magical house but Dobby set up spells so Maerna could function. A simple clap turned on lights and a double clap turned them off. The same worked for the fireplace and the stove although Dobby did most of the cooking. Severus made good on his promise and fulfilled her wish list which he admitted was much smaller than he expected given the amount of luggage he had seen women travel with. The only thing that truly surprised him, but it probably shouldn’t have, was a Bible and a blank book as a personal journal.  


One day, Dobby came in to tackle another room and Maerna offered to help. Dobby was, at first, horrified at that thought but she convinced him that she needed something to do but read and he was actually doing her a favor. The drapes in the living room had a large doxy infestation, so the two of them spent the morning stunning the little blue biters. “Dobby, what can you tell me about Severus?”  


Dobby’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “Dobby isn’t allowed to answer questions about him. That’s one of his strict instructions including not bringing you anything sharp or that could be used as a weapon or for escape or. . .”  


“I figured that part out. Thanks Doby,” Maerna interrupted, “but may I know his last name? What job he has? Anything?” Dobby simply shook his head. “Okay,” Maerna hissed. How would she work around Severus’s orders. “Did he saying about not giving your opinions about matters to me?”  


Dobby brightened at that. “No, miss. Pro-Mr. Severus never mentioned anything about Dobby’s opinions.”  


“Probably because he didn’t think your opinions mattered,” muttered Maerna but then she smiled. “Well, then, Dobby. Tell me your opinions about Mister Severus.”  


To Maerna’s surprise, Dobby was actually quiet for a moment, a finger on his lip before he set in. “Mister Severus is complicated but good. He’s rude and arrogant but fair. He doesn’t like disorder and sets very high standards especially of his. . of others. He’ll sneer and belittle you but when you need him most, he’ll be there. Inside Mr. Severus is a very honorable, caring man. Most just aren’t willing to wage war and stand up to him enough to see it.”  


Doby’s revelations stunned Maerna but also made her think. Had she seen this other side of the man? He broke into her grandmother’s but gave orders not to kill anyone. He could have easily ended Brent’s life back in her apartment but spared him. Even the way he so carefully picked her up after the Cruciatus Curse left her almost lifeless was gentle and caring. Yet, he followed all of Voldemort’s directions. He told the Dark Lord where she was. He gave her to Lucius knowing what would happen. She agreed with Doby on one thing, he was a complicated man.  


“Dobby,” a random thought came to her. “Thank you for your insight but some of your opinions were not highly favorable toward Severus yet you said them without punishing yourself. How is this possible?”  


“Oh, Mr. Severus isn’t Dobby’s owner. Dobby is a free elf!” the tiny elf glowed.  


“A free elf? I didn’t know they existed.” Maerna pushed further.  


Dobby nodded solemnly. “I may be the only one,” he admitted. Then he entertained her with his life story and the great and noble Harry Potter’s role in it.


	7. Christmas Tree and Valerian Root

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How? What? I don’t understand,” Maerna stuttered.  
> “Actually, I think you do,” Severus contradicted.  
> “But that’s impossible. I’m a nomaj, a squib.” she exclaimed.  
> “Evidently not,” he replied dryly.

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her.  
The book title Reconstructing Medieval Poisons and Antidotes is credited to Renfair in The Dream of One Night, Chapter 9. 

About a week after she had arrived, Maerna was entrenched in The Theory of Allotrope Potions when a footnote caught her eye. It referred to another book by Potions Master S. Snape. Where had she heard that name Snape before? Closing her eyes, she tried to recount the event. Severus had just apparated her into the Death Eater’s hideout and. . . “Snape rather likes that wand,” someone said her to her just before she tried to break it. Snape, so that was Severus’s last name. It fit. He was obviously intellectual and knew potions. It really wasn’t surprising that he had published.  


Another conversation, popped into her mind. Several times, Dobby had almost slipped up and called Severus by a different name. Pro-something. Maerna has just assumed that it was the last name that she wasn’t supposed to know, but what if it wasn’t. What if it was a title? Professor? America didn’t have a magical college per se, relying more on internships and mentoring but what if Great Britain did? Maerna loved random trivia and one such fact came to light. The British also called their secondary school teachers professor, but that couldn’t be right. Who in their right mind would hire that man to teach children?  


When Dobby arrived that evening, Maerna had a short list of three books that she wanted “for further research and cross-reference.” All were about potions. All the titles were taken from the bibliography of other books, but only one she really cared about.  


Two days later, Dobby arrived with the books and a surprise. Maerna had mentioned how she used to love to bake Christmas cookies with her grandmother. The elf brought everything from the rolling pin to cookie cutters. Despite her insane curiosity, Maerna set the books to the side and spent the day with Dobby turning the kitchen into a floury mess. His antics and stories made her belly ache with laughter, a release she desperately needed. At one point, she was laughing so hard that she dropped and ruined a tray of decorated cookies. Thankfully, Dobby was able to reconstruct them-some magic that he completely denied although Maerna knew it was the only possible explanation.  


The evening, after clapping at the fireplace, Maerna settled on the couch with her treasure. She read the title: Reconstructing Medieval Poisons and Antidotes. The topic was appealing albeit not relevant to her current “education.” With shaking hands, she flipped to the back pages. Tucked in the back, almost forgotten, was what she wanted: About the Author. There was no picture, but she didn’t need it. She knew it was him.

Severus Tobias Snape has been a member of the European Potions Guild since 1978. He is most known for his work with poisons and antidotes as well as extensive research into potions that have been lost to history. He has won numerous awards including Rising Star in Potions (1976), the Zygmunt Budge Award (1983 and 1986) and Promising New Discoveries in Potions Award (1989.) He is also known as an expert in defense against the dark arts. He won the Great Britain Dueling Championship four times and the European Dueling Championship twice. He is currently the Potions Master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 

Maerna read the profile several times contemplating the information. He was teaching secondary school! She closed her eyes in an attempt to picture it but quickly gave in. Her eyes drifted back to the book-expert in defense against the dark arts. No wonder he was so furious when a mere muggle managed to stab and then overtake him. Maerna smiled smugly. It was a matter of pride and though she barely knew him, she knew he was a very proud man. Well, if I really want to understand the man, Maerna flipped to the front of the book and turned to the first chapter. She snuggled down into the sofa cushions and began what she hoped was an informative and educational read.

Maerna and Dobby continued to plan their holiday adventures. Since Dobby was supposed to run all of her wish lists by the professor before fulfilling them, he was worried about decorating for the holidays. He had never seen any Christmas decorations in Snape’s private apartments at Hogwarts. He probably would not approve. Maerna had the perfect solution. She just would not make a list but trust Doby’s sense of Christmas decorations. Severus was supposed to return on Saturday, so Maerna ditched books the day prior and decorated. Aroma from the mantle’s pine and berries wafted through the cottage. Candles decorated every surface and the elf had procured a tree from someone named Hagrid although he had to use magic to shorten it enough to fit. Dobby had even found a nativity for Maerna which now adorned the sideboard and brought tears to her eyes every time she entered the dining room.  


The two were toasting themselves for a job well done with butterbeer and apple cider when a rush of cold was followed by the sound of the front door. Both turned around to a, at first shocked and then irate looking Snape. “Merry Christmas, Severus. Uh, I didn’t think that you were coming until tomorrow.” Maerna looked a little sheepish.  


“I wasn’t,” he replied curtly.  


“Well, what are you going to do?” Maerna asked.  


“Excuse me,” Severus snarled.  


“Well, the way I figured. You can either yell at us and smash our decorations to smithereens or you can join in the festivities. Which will it be?” Maerna tried to hand him a butterbeer.  


“Neither,” he snarled. He stalked past her, into his room and slammed the door.  


Maerna stood in the living room with the two drinks in her hand. She knew she should shrug it off and enjoy her hard work, but she couldn’t. He had managed to ruin the Christmas spirit in the house and he had done it with only five words.

 

__________________  
The next day, Maerna awoke early and prepared breakfast. She was deep into a potion’s book when Severus emerged. For a while he said nothing, simply nursing a hot tea and glaring at her decorations. Finally, his curiosity undermined his stoicism as his eyes fell upon her pile of books. “Which have you read?”  


“Uuuummm, those,” she pointed to a half of dozen books to the side. “Here are my notes from my readings.” She waved at rolls and rolls of parchment carefully stacked on a corner table.  


Severus picked up The Basics of Potion Brewing and turned a nasty stare at her. “You didn’t read this. You have to actually BREW the potions in the book, not just stare at the words.”  


“And so I have.” she explained with a hint of derision.  


“How? I haven’t given you any equipment or ingredients and Dobby was forbidden to give. . .”  


“Not here,” Maerna said exasperated. “With my grandmother. I started this book with her when I was eight. I’ve done all the potions at least three times. The only part I haven’t done is the wand work for obvious reasons!”  


“Oh,” Severus was speechless. “Well, then let’s start with what you have done and move from there.” For the rest of the morning, they went through the books discussing various potions. Maerna would sometimes mention changes that she and her grandmother had done while Severus would input his own ideas. They examined potion theory in detail and compared them to chemistry theories. While none of it was strictly related to their assigned project, Severus enjoyed his conversations and new insights that Maerna brought.  


After lunch, they moved to the basement where Severus had set up a lab. He jumped her straight up to NEWT level work with Draught of the Living Death. Her methodology was organized and concise. She obviously knew her way around potions. The only stumble was during the 13th step when the potioneer was required to wave his wand over the cauldron. “This is where I will require some help,” Maerna reminded him.  


“No, I don’t believe you do,” Severus said rather bemused.  


“Oh, really,” she said in disbelief. “Well, then why don’t I just go get a stick and wave it around and see what happens.”  


“Maerna, why does a wizard use a spell at this point?”  


“Well, by this time in the Valerian Root has the consistency of pudding. If this was a muggle chemistry and I added the powdered root of asphodel to it, I would have a glumpy mess. Given the atomic composition of the two ingredients, the desired chemical reaction would be impossible, so we must use Galpolett’s 4th Law to create a magical reaction” Maerna exhaled quickly, hoping her answer made sense.  


Severus nodded in approval. “So, do you understand the theory behind Galpolett’s 4th Law?” Maerna nodded. “Then I want you to pass your hand over the cauldron and imagine his law. How would the atomic composition of those ingredients have to change to have the properties of the potion? Visualize the magic changing the ingredients.”  


Maerna looked at him like he was crazy. “That won’t matter. You know I’m a squib. What are you playing at?”  


“Just humor me,” Severus replied calmly. “If you feel that you need a “stick” to play the part, you may borrow mine, but I don’t think you will.”  


Maerna threw him one more incredulous look but closed her eyes to visualize. Just as she opened her eyes, Severus reminded her, “Two and half minutes are almost up. It’s time to add your last Valerian Root.” Silently she followed the directions and watched her potion turn to a beautiful shade of pale pink. “Almost as good as my first time,” Severus smiled. “Next time stir it anti-clockwise once for every seven clockwise turns and the color should turn out perfect.”  


“How? What? I don’t understand,” Maerna stuttered as she continued to stare into the cauldron.  


“Actually, I think you do,” Severus contradicted.  


“But that’s impossible. I’m a nomaj, a squib.” she exclaimed.  


“Evidently not,” he replied dryly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are enjoying Even the Best Laid Plans. It's the first fan-fiction I've written. Comment and critiques are appreciated. Thank you.


	8. You Are Or You Are Not: That Is The Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maerna looked weary, “You’re right. I would and despite your, supposedly, candid admittance, I’m still not letting you in my mind. I don’t trust you.”  
> Severus just looked blankly at her, “I wouldn’t expect you to.

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

Maerna paced around the tiny cottage. She had been doing that for over an hour as questions tumbled over each other in her mind. What in the world happened? How could she have magic? She had always been a nomaj, a squib, hadn’t she? Did her grandmother know? Did her Uncle Brent know? Every so often, she would pause her steps and glance at Severus. He said nothing but made eye contact, nodded and then would go back to his book.  


Finally, she threw herself onto the sofa in defeat and turned to the potion master. “How did you know?”  


Severus set down his book and leaned forward staring at her intently. “I think the more important question is why didn’t you know?” He paused for a moment as if waiting for her response, but when he realized none was forthcoming, he continued. “However, your question is easier to answer, so let’s start there. I’ve had my suspicions from the first day I met you. You took to apparition with ease. Although side-along apparition is possible for muggles, the side effects are ten times worse for them. It was obvious from your actions,” Severus briefly touched his neck and winced, “that severe nausea and dizziness were not a problem. Then when I took you out of Malfoy Manor, you looked back and could see it. It is well hidden from muggles.”  


“That’s true,” Maerna pondered, “but, squibs can see magic so that’s not unusual.”  


“I wasn’t joking when I said Malfoy Manor was well hidden. Lucius considers squibs an insult to the magical world. He would make sure that even they wouldn’t be able to see his home on their own accord. Then, there is the matter of the flash of magic between us when I brought you to the cottage.”  


“That wasn’t you?” Maerna paled and almost looked like she wished it was.  


Severus sniffed. “Absolutely not. I can control my magic. Besides, if you recall, YOU were the one who had lost her temper. Also, there is the matter of the tray of ruined Christmas cookies.” Severus put his hand up to stop her explanation. “Dobby assures me it was not him and I trust his command of magic much more than yours.”  


Maerna dropped her head in her hands. Silence entombed the room for several minutes as she absorbed the realization. Then she picked her head back up and met his eyes again. “Do you think I always could do magic? Accidental magic doesn’t start at twenty-nine years.”  


“It would certainly be a first,” Severus admitted. “Do you every recall a time, in your youth, when you might have done magic?”  


“I don’t know,” Maerna shrugged rubbing her neck a bit. “I have lots of memories wishing that I could do magic like my grandmother and Uncle Brent, but never actually being able too. Then there are some very vague memories that make me think maybe. . . yes. . .but they could just be dreams. If it is true, why now? Why start showing magic as an adult?”  


Severus leaned forward and steepled his fingers together with his elbows on his knees. “I’m really not sure. What has changed in your life?”  


Maerna’s stare made Severus realize what a stupid question it had been. “Let’s see,” she answered snarkily, “Recent changes in my life: kidnapped by Death Eaters, physically and psychologically tortured and imprisoned for over a month. Might those do it?”  


“They might,” he admitted but his eyes seemed less certain than his words.  


“Are you absolutely sure about this?” she interrupted his thoughts. “It’s not that I’m trying to doubt you, but I have spent all my life surrounded by magic, able to see it and use it, but well aware I would never create it. It’s like standing at the gates of a palace and saying, you can’t cross but you can look in. All of the sudden, you’ve thrust me into the throne room.”  


Severus sighed in exasperation. He pulled out his wand from his robe and reached over to hand it to her. “No, no, no. No wands.” Maerna exclaimed as she shrank away from the decorative stick. “Wands don’t like me.”  


“Don’t be ridiculous. It may not work well for you but it isn’t going to attack you,” he snapped.  


“That’s what you think,” she retorted still refusing to touch it.  


“Take it!” he commanded. Reluctantly, Maerna reached out and he dropped it into her hand. She flinched as soon as it touched her skin but nothing happened. Finally she relaxed and stared at the wand in her possession. “Now,” Severus instructed. “Wave it at the lamp and say ‘Lumos’.”  


Maerna followed his directions. Immediately, she screamed and dropped the wand. Severus picked it up, disgust etched into his features until he saw her hand. A red, blistering line formed across the palm exactly where the wand had made contact. “I told you. Wands don’t like me,” she explained sheepishly.  


Severus continued to study her hand for a minute and then waved his wand over turning the skin into a soft, new pink. “However, it doesn’t seem to mind healing you,” he observed. “Has it always been like that?”  


Maerna pondered, “I’m not sure. As long as I can remember,. When I was little, I used to pick up my grandmother’s wand to ‘pretend’ to do magic, but then it would burn me. Like a dog who is beaten for doing something wrong, after a while, I just stayed away from it.” Maerna’s face screwed up in pain of the memories, “but then sometimes I feel like there was a time, before that, when. . . I don’t know. It’s all so frustrating.” She dropped her hand and ran her fingers through her hair, glancing at him ruefully.  


Severus stared for a long time contemplating her before he risked the next words. “You know, I could help you try to retrieve those memories. Have you ever heard of occlumency?”  


Maerna jerked her head up. “You are a legilimens?” Severus confirmed with a twing into her mind. Maerna shook her head and immediately shifted her eyes away from him. “No, thank you!” she exclaimed. “You of all people, I don’t want in my head.”  


“Understood,” There was no remorse or anger in his eyes, but just a calculated look of understanding.  


“Why? Why do you even ask? You could just force yourself into my mind and given your past. . .” she trailed off.  


“My past actions against you?” Severus finished. “Yes, I could but for several reasons. First, in case you didn’t notice I’m trying to create some trust between us.” Severus explained honestly. “We have to work together on this potion and I’d prefer not to do it as enemies despite our challenging start. Secondly, for childhood memory recall to work, it is much preferable for the person to be willing. I know you. If I try to force you to do anything, you’ll fight me every step of the way. While I would probably win that round, one of us would come off worse at the end, so I’d rather not entertain the idea.”  


Maerna looked weary, “You’re right. I would fight you if forced and I’m not volunteering. Despite your, supposedly, candid admittance, I’m still not letting you in my mind. I don’t trust you.”  


Severus just looked blankly at her, “I wouldn’t expect you to. Now, this time, no wand, simply wave your hand at the light. As you pass your hand over, imagine the light turning on and say, ‘Lumos’.“  


“Why not?” she thought. “What do I have to lose?” She closed her eyes, picturing the lamp. “Lumos.” When she opened her eyes, she immediately focused on two things: first a shining lamp and second a smirk on his face.

 

_________________________________________

The Christmas holidays fell into a routine. Severus and Maerna managed to prepare reasonable meals for breakfast and lunch but trusted Dobby for a decent dinner. Mornings were filled with debates and illuminations usually about potions and chemistry but any other muggle versus magical topic that suited them filled the time. Maerna found Severus to be a well of knowledge that made him an excellent debater and he admitted to her that he hadn’t had so many academic conversations in years. Afternoons were spent in the basement trying new potions. Maerna was becoming comfortable with experimenting with her own procedures while Severus was exploring several muggle chemicals he hadn’t heard of.  


When wand work was required for the potion, Maerna could complete it wandless about 20% of the time which was frustrating for her but not surprising to Severus. “Controlled wandless magic is very advanced. I myself can only do a dozen or so spells without a wand. I’m surprised you can do as much as you do,” he complimented her but Maerna took it differently.  


“What you mean,” she snarled, “is unless we can figure out why wands don’t like me, my abilities are extremely limited.” Severus just shrugged his shoulders as he considered the pH level of the chemicals in front of him. Maerna turned back to her cauldron and examined the potion, stirring it occasionally hoping for a color change that had yet to emerge. “Damn,” she muttered. Severus looked at her questioningly but she ignored him focused on her work. She shredded some lacewings, but didn’t add them. Instead she continued to stare at the pewter vat.  


Severus stopped his work and walked up to her. “Do you require help?” he asked a bit snidely still miffed at her dismissal of his previous compliment.  


“No, I don’t.” Maerna snapped. “I don’t need your help and I don’t want your help. I can do this by myself. Leave me alone!” With her final proclamation, she threw all the lacewings into her cauldron. The color change was instantaneous but instead of the pale blue she had hoped for it turned an angry purple, bubbling up vigorously. Maerna just seemed transfixed of the sight but Severus’s sixth potion sense kicked in. He threw himself into her knocking both of them to the ground.  


The entire experiment exploded a fraction of second after Severus got a dome shield charm around them. Maerna glanced up from the floor to see shooting stars of pewter and potion falling around them instantly burning holes into everything they touched. Maerna closed her eyes and trembled a bit. If Severus hadn’t reacted, her skin would have looked like the table and floor did now--pockmarked with burned out craters and hissing ingredients.  


As soon as everything settled, Severus removed the shield charm and pulled himself off the floor. He reached down and offered her a hand. After pulling her up, he inspected her carefully ensuring that no danger had befallen her. Once he realized that she suffered no injury, his face returned to his famous smirk. “What were you saying about not needing my help?” he asked arching an eyebrow at her.  


Maerna folded her arms and narrowed her eyes about to spit back a rebuke, but then gave in. “Thank you, Severus. I would have been severely injured if you hadn’t stepped in.”  


He studied her for a moment, a bit of confusion in his eyes. Then he nodded solemnly and began to wave his wand to clean up the disaster.

__________________________

Maerna tried to approach the idea of attending church on Christmas Eve but was quickly shut down. Whether it was because he didn’t trust her enough to take her outside the wards or he was afraid of setting foot too close to God, Maerna didn’t know. So, she spent the evening reading the gospels and praying. Christmas day was treated much like the others except that Severus was summoned about halfway through the morning. He came back two hours later saying little but Maerna got the idea that the summons was just to remind everyone who controlled them even on December 25th.  


The snow started to fall in the early hours of Boxing Day. By noon, over a foot covered the front yard. Maerna sat by the window watching time go by with each snowflake. “Why are you wasting your day?” Severus asked his nose deep in an Organic Chemistry textbook.  


“I’m thinking of the past, of memories. Are memories a waste of time?” Maerna countered. “Memories make up who we are, help define us and lead us for our future decisions. Scientists claim all snowflakes are unique. Just like them everyone’s memories are unique. Snowflakes engulf us with the wonder of crystalized snow. Happy Memories bring us back to places in our lives for joy and love.  


“And what memories are you indulging in right now?” he asked snidely.  


“Why Christmas memories, of course. Do you have any positive Christmas memories.” His stony silence made her think probably not. “American muggles have a tradition of stringing lights on the outsides of their houses for decoration. Some of them can get rather ornate with lit Christmas figurines and music that the lights dance to. My grandmother and I used to spend hours planning and decorating. We had the best house in the area and people would come for miles around to see it. Of course, little did they know that magic helped.“  


“That,” Severus emphasized, “sounds like the biggest waste of time ever invented.”  


“Perhaps,” Maerna admitted, “but the memories I have from it: the joy, the giggles, the time spent with my grandmother, the look of wonder on a two year olds face when he drove up to our house. That made it worth it. Especially since all I have are the memories now.”  


Maerna tore her eyes from the window and glanced at him. She turned away quickly but not before he saw tears pooling in her eyes. “I think I’ll retire now,” she said quietly and slipped off to bed.  


Severus sat there staring at the falling snow thinking of everything and nothing at the same time. Finally, he made up his mind. “Dobby!”

 

____________________________

As the holidays progressed, Severus expectations in her education increased dramatically. He demanded only her best ideas, her best justifications, her best solutions. Most of their time focused on practical application since Maerna was likely to need wand assistance especially now that the potions were so complicated. When she tried to joke about the intensity of her studies, he just replied she could slow down when he went back to his other obligations. He had yet to trust her with personal information and it was getting on her nerves especially when he knew such intimate details about her life. At one point, she snapped about it and he snidely reminded her, “Despite my allowance of the tree and cookies, you are still the prisoner in this relationship. Never forget that.”  


Maerna stared at him, her mouth open wide at his crude but honest comment. Somehow she had forgotten. She had eluded herself into thinking a friendship was developing. How foolish she was? She must constantly be on guard. She would never again forget.  


Tensions ran high between them after that. Severus was more snippy and harsh and Maerna more aloof. She was starting to look forward to his return to Hogwarts. On New Year’s Eve, he was summoned again by the Dark Lord. He didn’t say anything but just winced and he touched his left arm as he walked beyond the wards and apparated.  


He didn’t return until well after midnight, shaking and paler than Maerna thought possible. She hesitated, unsure of how do respond, She closed her eyes and bowed her head. “Dear Lord, I don’t understand. I don’t understand why he does this. I don’t understand who the real Severus is. Guide my actions in this manner.”  


It was as if a voice whispered in her ear but it whispered in her heart. “For now, just accept him and be there for him.” Maerna nodded and approached the cloaked figure. She knelt down beside him and put her hand on his knee.  


He looked up agony stretched across his face, “what do you want?” he demanded harshly. “Get out of here!” He tried to push her away but she refused.  


“No, I don’t understand you, Severus. I don’t know why you are a Death Eater. I, honestly, don’t really trust you either, but I’m here for you. I will be a friend as much as you allow me to be.” she said quietly.  


He stared at her for a moment and then leaned his head against the back of the sofa. “I don’t understand,” Severus said. “Why? After everything I’ve done to you, why would you extend a hand of, even tentative friendship.”  


“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Maerna quoted. Severus gave her a quizzical look. “It’s from the Bible,” she explained.  


Severus just shook his head, “Your Bible sounds like Albus.”  


Maerna gave him a sad smile, laid her head on his shoulder, her hand on his arm. There they sat, both standing of the edges of their own precipices, wondering which side to lean towards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quote from Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV 
> 
> Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think of Maerna and her interactions with Snape.


	9. So You are a Kidnapper, a Death Eater and a Professor. You Lead a Busy Life.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When do classes start back up?” Maerna asked innocently. She felt those black eyes boring into her but refused to look up.  
> “How long have you known? What do you know?” he asked quietly.

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

The next day, Severus said nothing of the night before only mentioning that he must return to his other duties on January 12th as always omitting exactly what and where those obligations were. Thanks to her research, however, Maerna had a bit of background knowledge which she used to her advantage with the next question. “When do classes start back up?” Maerna asked innocently.  


“On the 13th,” he answered absentmindedly.  


“Okay,” she replied and went back to her studies. Suddenly she felt those black eyes boring into her but refused to look up.  


“How long have you known? What do you know?” he asked quietly.  


“About a week before you came back,” she replied closing her book to give him her attention. “And I don’t know too much. I only know that your full name is Severus Tobias Snape, you have won a variety of potion awards as well as dueling ones and you teach potions at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.”  


“Dobby-” he started.  


“Didn’t say anything to me,” she interrupted ensuring that little elf wasn’t blamed. Then she explained the author’s reference to Severus’s work in a footnote, the Death Eater’s use of his last name, and her investigation from there.”  


“I should have looked at the list of books you requested,” he mumbled, shifting his eyes away from her. When he glanced back his expression appeared almost apologetic. “I was only trying to protect you. The less you know about me, the safer you are.”  


“The less I know about you, the harder it is to trust you, too,” she shot back her brown eyes blazing in indignation. Just as quickly her expression softened as she tried a different approach. “I can see the risk of my knowing, but reward doesn’t come without it.”  


Severus just shook his head. “You have no idea how big that risk is.” Silence filled the space between them and Maerna began to feel less like he was trying to use her for her chemistry knowledge and more like he was trying to almost protect her.  


“I just wonder one thing,” her tentative voice broke the stillness. “Why does Albus Dumbledore allow you to teach if you have been a Death Eater since you’ve left school yourself?”  


Severus smiled wryly. “There are a lot of people who wonder that. I won’t justify myself to you anymore than I do to them.”  
“But he knows about your background?” she persisted. She felt like she was trying to put a puzzle together with half of the pieces missing.  


“Oh, he knows. He knows all too well.” Severus granted.  


“Should I trust Albus Dumbledore?” Maerna asked in one last attempt at comprehension but was only rewarded with two baffling words.  


“I do.”

 

______________

That evening, Dobby put on a true feast. Maerna thanked and complimented the elfin chef which made the ends of his large ears turn pink, “Miss is kind, but tonight is a special occasion. It is start of a new year today and Mr. . . Professor Snape has something special planned.”  


“Which it is about time for.” Severus declared setting his napkin down and rising from the table. “You know, Maerna, you don’t have to thank a house elf. It’s their job to make dinner.” Maerna just gave him a withering look as she followed suit.’”When someone does me a service, they deserve my thanks,” she announced challenging him with a unwavering stare but Severus simple shrugged his shoulder and motioned her toward the front door.  


Dobby was so excited by the event he knew was coming that he danced around like a Golden Snitch. Severus donned his cloak and then turned to Maerna, realization slowly setting in. “You don’t have a winter cloak, do you?”  


Maerna shook her head. There was no need. She rarely went out and if she did, it was just into the tiny backyard. Sighing, Severus transfigured one of his jumpers into a cloak for her and then charmed their shoes to resist the cold snow. Almost ceremonially he opened the front door.  


Cautiously, Maerna stepped through the door. It almost felt surreal. She hadn’t been out in the house’s front yard in almost a month. Severus lead her down the steps and across the yard. For the first time, Maerna got a good look at the area. To the left was a field. In the summer, she imagined it could be filled with tall grasses and beautiful wild flowers with butterflies dancing among the petals. Tonight, it looked like an unfinished painting, a mostly white canvas with swirls of purple and deep blue for the sky. To the right were woods. The trees stretched their arms up the inky sky while a blanket of snow clothed them. The woods were deep and dense like a stretch of Earth yet untouched. “One thing I love about the snow is the silence,” Maerna commented. “It’s beauty comes on shy steps that quietly touch the ground. Before you realize, it has enveloped you and transformed your world.”  


“It is very silent,” Severus agreed, “unless, of course, a blizzard has come to your door.”  


“That’s true,” she said. “I’ve dealt with a few of those too.”  


“Did you grow up with a lot of snow?” Severus inquired.  


“I grew up deep in the mountains. Sometimes we wouldn’t see the ground for weeks. How about you?”  


Severus shook his head no. “I grew up in a run-down textile town where even the old geezers couldn’t remember the good old days. It was too far south for snow. The rare times it came, it was too little and resembled mud mush. Most of the time all we got was gray, freezing rain and dirty puddles of ice.” Snape paused for a moment and smiled a tiny secret almost pleasant smile “Now turn around, so I can show you the surprise.” He placed his hands on her shoulders to steer her back toward the house and called out, “okay, Dobby.”  


Just then the entire house lit up with colored lights. Lights ran along the roof and twinkled down the sides. The bushes were covered with dancing colors and the porch seemed to almost glow red, then blue, then green. Hand-sized snowflake twinkled in the windows and a Santa landed his sleigh on the roof and disappeared down the chimney again and again. Severus had even managed to create an entire manger scene with the characters singing “O Come O Come Emmanuel.” in the front yard. Maerna was speechless. She wanted to say so much but the only words that came out were, “That’s my favorite Christmas Carol,”  


“Dobby mentioned that. He did a lot of the research for this,” Severus begrudgingly admitted. “Neither one of us knew much about muggle American Christmas decorations.”  


“But it was Professor Snape’s idea,” declared the every loyal Dobby, “and he did most of the magic to create it. Do you like it?” The elf looked up expectantly. “Is it just like the lights from your childhood.”  


“Actually, it’s a lot different,” Maerna conceded, “but it’s still perfect.”

 

___________________  
The day before he had to leave, Severus was summoned by the Dark Lord and he was gone most of the day. He came back late in the evening with a scowl on his face.  


“He didn’t-” Concern started to cross Maerna’s face.  


“No, no, no. The Dark Lord is fine.” Severus waved her concerns away. “He’s satisfied with the rate you are learning. I didn’t bother to tell him that you had a substantially larger head start than I had realized.”  


“Did you tell him about my. . .my magic?” Maera was afraid to ask.  


The question did stop his pacing, “No, I did not.” Relief flooded her face. “Don’t look so happy. I will tell him eventually, but we understand so little of what happened to you. I don’t want to give a report until there is an better explanation to report. I would think you would want him to know. Since you are no longer a muggle, your chances of survival have gone up exponentially.”  


“Maybe, but I’m not really a witch either. I mean whoever heard of a witch who can’t hold a wand? Honestly, I’d rather he not know until you have to tell him.” Maerna looked up hopefully. Severus just gave a curt nod and continued his pacing. “Well, if the meeting went well, why are you still upset?”  


“I’m not upset. I don’t get upset,” Severus contradicted her. “I’m just annoyed with a task that the headmaster has assigned me. I’m supposed to give occlumency lessons to Harry Potter.” It was obvious from his tone that he would rather feast upon a plate of slugs.  


“I’m sorry but Harry Potter-Isn’t that the guy who freed Dobby from the Malfoys?” From the expression on Severus’s face, you would have though she had asked what the sun and moon were.  


“That’s the only thing you know about Harry Potter?” Severus confirmed. Maerna shook her head up and down. “How could your grandmother make sure that you knew so much about the Dark Lord but never mention Harry Potter?” Maerna just shrugged her shoulders. “He’s the one who stopped the Dark Lord. He’s the reason the Dark Lord supposedly died back in 1981.”  


“Well,” Maerna analyzed, “he obviously didn’t do a very good job because the Dark Lord is back. Perhaps my grandmother was more worried about instructing me on future threatens than heroes of the past.”  


Severus snorted, “He’s hardly a hero and no one, except myself, would agree with you on that.” Then he proceeded to tell her the tale of Voldemort vs Harry Potter, the rumors of the Chosen One, and the ministry’s current turn against the boy.  


As usual, she looked at it in a completely different way than he expected. “So, to clarify, when Harry Potter was a baby, the Dark Lord tried to kill him but instead all he gave him was very unusual scar which hurts when the Dark Lord is near. The boy can enter the wizard’s mind and Dumbledore is worried because if the door opens one way, it might swing the other way, too. So, you have to teach him occlumency.” A look of disgust curled upon Severus’s lips. “So, that scar somehow connects them and he gave that scar to Harry just as he died but didn’t really die.” Maerna placed her finger on her lip, deep in thought. “Could he not have died because somehow part of his mind entered Harry thought that scar and that kept him tethered to the Earth?”  


Severus scoffed at her theory. “That’s impossible. The only way to tether yourself like that isn’t through your mind but through your s----.” Severus stood still, just staring ahead. “I have to talk to Dumbledore,” he whispered almost to himself.  


“I don’t understand,” Maerna said. Severus turned back suddenly remembering that she was there. “You say you’ve never heard of Harry Potter’s role with the Dark Lord before this conversation?” Maerna nodded. “Then I’m afraid, you’ll have to rediscover who he is later.” He pointed his wand at her. “Obliviate.”


	10. There and Back Again: A Witch's Tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She paced along the edge of the wards and hit them with her fists in frustration. She pounded on them screaming at Severus, at Dobby, at her grandmother, at Brent and even at the walls themselves. Her knuckles were becoming bloody.

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her.  
The title of this chapter is based on the title of J.R. R. Tolkien’s book: A Hobbit: There and Back Again  
The phrase “the one less traveled by” is in reference to Robert Frost, “The Road Not Taken”

Maerna didn’t want to admit it, but she missed Severus. She missed the company. She missed the conversations. She missed the way he viewed things. She even missed his unrelenting demands for her to push herself into even more advanced potions and herbology. He wrote to her at least twice a week. His letters often resembling a lesson plan with detailed questions for her to research and reply to. Occasionally, a glimmer of his life at Hogwarts would emerge. Occlumency lessons with some student were not going well and it was a race to see which teacher would figure out how to hex the new DADA professor first without the ministry knowing. It seemed no one liked her. From Severus’s earlier descriptions, Maerna could understand why.  


In early February, the weather became unseasonably warm albeit wet, too. Maerna began to get cabin fever so much she thought she would scream. Dobby still came by every evening and she begged him to let her take a walk but no avail. The elf wouldn’t budge from his promises to Snape. Maerna’s magical powers were growing too. She could walk right up the edge of the wards in the backyard and almost feel them. They felt light and spongy to her touch. Once or twice, she almost felt like the wards move like they were a curtain she might be able to push aside but the moment she considered this, they turned right back into an invisible concrete wall. In late February, Severus sent her a magazine. This surprised Maerna greatly for it certainly didn’t look like Severus’s type of reading. It reminded her a lot of the magical version of muggle supermarket tabloids. There was a note attached in his slanted handwriting. “Most printed Quibbler ever-very popular at school at the moment.” As Maerna read the article about some boy named Harry Potter, she found it interesting that Severus had sent it to her. Not for the first time, she wondered which side he was on.  


By mid-March, Maerna really was riddled with cabin fever. She paced along the edge of the wards and hit them with her fists in frustration. She pounded on them screaming at Severus, at Dobby, at her grandmother, at Brent and even at the walls themselves. As her hands made contact over and over, her knuckles became scraped and bloody. For some reason, the blood streaming between her fingers seemed to enrage her even more. Without thought of consequence, she pulled her fist back for one final blow only to watch her entire arm pass through the invisible barrier. Maerna was so surprised that her entire body followed her arm. Before she knew it, she had passed beyond the wards and dropped to her knees, panting heavily in shock and amazement.  


Her fingers grasped the winter dead grass as she dug them slightly in the soft earth. Blood from her knuckles flowed down her fingers like rivers meandering down hillsides until they mixed with the dark dirt underneath. Maerna leaned down inhaling the scents of spring and rubbed her cheek along the rough ground until she rolled over and stared at the overcast sky, welcoming the breeze upon her face.. She layed there for a minute, or perhaps in was an hour, allowing a new sense to wash over her--the idea of freedom.  


Finally, saturated by the ideas of liberation as well as by the wet grass, Maerna sat up and pulled her knees toward her body. Her thoughts shifted to concern and fear. Could she get back in through the wards?  


Slowly she placed her hand on the barrier. Closing her eyes, she imagined not a wall but a curtain and pushed. It slid aside for her almost like walking through water. She immediately turned back around and move her fingers across the magical barrier again, but it seemed very happy to let her fingers pass through again.  


Excitement flowed through her system like nomaj electricity. This was her chance. She gathered her cloak, shoes and some food and ran out the door through the wards without pausing. Once outside, she screamed in glee, danced around the meadow, and zigzagged through the trees of the forest touching each one to ensure it was real.  


Finally, exhaustion took over and she dropped to the ground. She leaned back on the trunk of a old oak and studied the branches where new buds were desperately trying to push through. “It must be getting late,” Maerna reasoned. “If Dobby finds I’m not there, he’ll alert Severus. Plus I don’t want to be wandering lost after dark. I need to think this through and be rational.” She slowly pushed herself off the ground and walked back toward the cottage. She paused before going back across the wards, she turned in a complete circle gazing across the landscape. Where should she go? She assumed that she was in Great Britain but beyond that no idea where she was or where the closest town was. She looked like she was in the middle of nowhere. She wasn’t sure where to go but it was a chance that she’d have to take.  


Two days later, Maerna was up before sunrise, packed and ready to go. Donned in a thick jumper to ward away the nippy March air, Maerna tried to view this as a day of hiking instead of what it really was-a path into the unknown. With a deep breath, she said a little prayer and stepped away from the cottage for the last time. She looked carefully at the fields and the woods. Although no roads were visible, she decided that the woods appeared to be the one less traveled by and turned to the field taking her first step.  


The day before, Maerna had planned out her escape. Unless she saw some signs of civilization, she reasoned, a straight path was best. Soon the cottage had disappeared behind her as she pushed through the tall grasses of the field. Although many stalks that she pushed past were dead and brittle, signs of new life would be seen as green shoots pushed their ways upward.  


She walked on until tall grass gave way to a rocky, stepper terrain. When sun rose high in the sky she and the thick jumper shover into her pack, she stopped by a small brook for a quick lunch and rest. Betting that civilization would be close to water, she turned downstream and continued her journey tripping over rocks and roots as she kept the small creek in view.  


By the time the sun was getting ready for bed, Maerna was getting worried. She had been walking all day and had yet to see a sign of civilization. Dobby would be arriving soon to the cottage. She didn’t know how long it would take him to find her but she suspected not long. Ten minutes later, she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw a building in the distance. Turning away from the water and toward the building, she felt her hope rekindled and a spring in her step. As she drew closer, however, her unease grew.  


Confusion and dread began to overwhelm her as she neared the small building. Her footsteps slowed more and more until she was nothing but a frozen statue staring at a tiny house. This couldn’t be possible but it obviously was. She was right back at the cottage. She didn’t know whether to be furious at herself for believing that she was free or furious at Dobby and Severus for evoking such imaginative magic that she completely fell for. Pushing on the magical barrier, Maerna stomped back into the house and threw her pack down, eyes narrowed as she glanced at her evidently inescapable prison. She was unpacked and sitting on the couch when Dobby arrived just like he did every other evening.  


Maerna desperately wanted to ask Dobby about the unusual magic that surrounded the house but could think of no way to bring it up without sounding suspicious. She was sure the wards were on Severus’s verboten discussion list. Instead, she contemplated it throughout the evening. It wasn’t until bedtime that she considered another being’s “magic.” In her haste for freedom, she had never asked God if this was the path He wanted her to take. The last time she had really listened to him was back on New Year’s Day. This time she prayed and listened. The message was as clear as the walk she tried to take that day. This is where she needed to be. This is where she should stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know this is a rather short chapter, but in the next chapter, I'm introducing my second favorite HP character. (I bet you can guess my favorite.)


	11. A Full Moon Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several large gashes covered his torso and thighs. There seemed to be more bite marks than arms and legs.

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

Maerna’s self-revelation that she was staying at the cottage did not mean she never left it. It became her habit to start the day with a long walk, exploring the countryside. Then she would settle in for studying. Severus sent her several more books, plus she was starting her own lesson plans for him. She was determined to be as ruthless as he was on the academics and began creating large essay questions on Bio and Medicinal Chemistry for him.  


Dobby’s visits were becoming shorter and shorter as he tried to manage both her and his duties at Hogwarts. However, his lesson in cooking were paying off and Maerna felt she could handle dinner without him although she desperately missed his company. One particular evening, Dobby had mentioned he wouldn’t be able to get away at all, so Maerna decided to take an evening walk since her morning walk had been rained out. (ughh, English weather, she thought.)  


The moon was full and bright looking like a golden coin hanging in the sky. It gave off plenty of light as she skirted along the forest. She hadn’t gone very far when a howl filled the night sky sending shivers up her spine. She had never seen a wolf in the woods and hadn’t realized they lived so close. The sound pierced the night air again. The howl was a bit different than the wolves she had heard at home but even as this thought crossed her mind, her gaze moved up the moon and she stopped in her tracks, staring at the glowing orb. No, surely, it wasn't that type of wolf, but another howl, this one much closer made her decision for her.  


Maerna turned and ran back to the house but was still several hundred feet away when she heard them again, now even closer. Pausing to glance over her should, the sight made her heart leap to her throat. Three wolves, much larger than any species she had never seen, emerged from the treeline. The moonlight cast their silhouettes against the landscape showing them with their noses in the air. As they caught her scent, their muzzles twisted in her direction. Six glowing eyes were trained on her. Pushing away the rapid fear that threatened to consume her, she turned and ran even faster, but knew she would never make it: 200 feet, 150 feet, 100 feet. Their pounding paws on the ground as they hounded their prey were like the ticking of a bomb counting down to her demise. Just about the time she was sure the countdown had hit zero, another wolf jumped in front of her causing her to skid to a stop and tumble backwards. She closed her eyes waiting for the final blow. The new wolf, however, didn’t attack but rather circumvented her and placed itself between her and the other wolves. They snarled and growled at the canine intruder.  


Maerna thanked her guardian angel (in whatever form it was in that night) and barreled through the wards. The pack attacked the solo wolf bringing it down swiftly and then turned to her. To their surprise, their prey was completely gone, no trace, not even a smell. They put their noses to the ground and searched along the wards. Their noses quivered in desire for the scent they could not locate. After several fearful minutes, they gave up and loped back into the woods.  


Maerna looked through the window at the lone wolf. It was obviously very injured dragging itself a few feet before giving up. Maerna desperately wanted to help but the fear that had threatened to consume had overwhelmed her as soon as she crossed the ward’s barriers. What if the pack came back? What if they were waiting just beyond the forest’s perimeter for her? For several house, she hovered by the window, willing her body to stop shivering and the nausea to disappear. Finally, just before sunrise, she found her courage and crossed the wards, slowly approaching the injured beast. It was obviously a werewolf, just like the others, but its eyes held intelligence instead of feral desire. As she looked into those eyes filled with pain and almost remorse, she made a decision. One that Severus would be furious over, but, at that moment, she didn’t care. This wolf had actively protected her and she should return the favor. She ran back into the house for a sheet and then rolled the wolf upon the fabric. Then best she could, she dragged him through the wards and into the house. The animal seemed to understand her desire to help for he didn’t resist, only whimpered as the ground touched his injuries.  


She had just reached the living room when the moon gave way to the sun. Sensing the change, the wolf turned its head and snarled and snapped at her. The warning was clear. He continued to growl until she backed almost to the kitchen. Then before her eyes, the wolf screamed in agony as its transformation began.  


Maerna watched in morbid fascination. The black and brown hair shed itself onto the hearth’s rug. She could heard the cracking of bones rearranging over the wolf’s screams as the tail disappeared and the face rounded out. Within a minute, it was over and Maerna cautiously approached. It was a man. He was tall, Maerna could tell even though he was prone upon the floor, probably as tall as Severus. He had light brown hair that was flecked with gray and appeared to be in his late 40s or early 50s although something told her she was wrong about that. His injuries were even more pronounced in human form, she noted. Several large gashes covered his torso and thighs. There seemed to be more bite marks than arms and legs. Large scars covered his body like a patchwork suggesting this was not the first time he was attacked by another werewolf. She grabbed the wool afghan from the back of the sofa and draped it over his naked form. He opened his eyes briefly as the weight fell upon him. “Thank you,” she said simply as dull green eyes met hers. He nodded once and then lost consciousness.

 

________________________  


The man was aware of someone near him and then he wasn't. Back and forth this feeling came and went until his conscious began to win over his unconscious. He heard the bustle of lighter footsteps. He felt gently caresses as someone bandaged various parts of his body. He tried to talk but two fingers were placed to his lips in silence. The hand tried to offer him some water but he just turned his head away. Finally, he gave in to exhaustion and slept again.  


Ten minutes or ten hours later, he awoke again: this time alone. He glanced around to a small, quaint cottage with a roaring fire and old-fashion furniture. Next to him on the sofa was a set of clothing which he assumed could only be meant for him. He had managed to wiggle into a pair of trousers albeit painfully when a door opened. A woman with wavy blonde hair and warm brown eyes came up from a basement carrying a cauldron and some more bandages. She stopped suddenly when she realized he was awake.  


“Hello,” she said almost shyly.  


“Hello,” he croaked his voice raspy with the ends of the lycanthropy cycle.  


She noticed that he was wearing the pants. “Uh, I hope they fit. They are my, um, husbands.” He could immediately tell that she was lying but didn’t press the issue. “Is he home?”  


“No,” she replied. “He travels a lot for his job and won’t be back for several weeks.”  


“Oh,” he said cursing himself for acting like such a simpleton. “What’s in the cauldron?”  


“A healing salve. I had to make more. Your injuries are quite severe.” She sat the cauldron on the table and began the job she had started while he was unconscious. She wrapped up quickly and then stood. “I know you have more injuries but I thought you might want to do those yourself and well, here,” she gestured to the potion in embarrassment.  


“Thank you,” he replied equally embarrassed. She must have seen his injuries before she gave him the blanket.  


“I’ll just leave you alone.” She fled the room into the kitchen. The werewolf sighed as he started stripping his trousers off. What had he gotten himself into?

 

______________________  
Dressing his wounds had been exhausting. By the time, he was dressed again, he just wanted to sleep. He crawled onto the sofa and pulled the blanket around himself.  


Some time later, arguing woke him up. It was the woman but the other voice was not what he was attribute to a husband. It was too high and squeaky. “Mister is going to be furious. Then mister will blame Dobby. How could you bring him here?”  


“Dobby, I had to. He saved my life. I couldn’t let him die on my doorstep. What would you have done?”  


Suspicion dripped into the voice. “You got past the wards! How did miss do this? Why did miss do this? Do you understand the anger he will have? Do you understand the position you have put him in?”  


“Why do you care so much about him?” Angered stirred in the woman’s voice. “You understand what he is and what he’s done!”  


Dobby sighed, “and you, miss, think you understand more than you do. Dobby will go see the werewolf patient now.”  


The man looked up to see two beings standing in the doorway. The woman still had anger from their conversation etched in her face as did the tiny elf until he saw his new patient. The scowl turned to joy when he saw who was on the sofa. “Professor Lupin! Miss Maerna’s werewolf patient is you!” Dobby rushed to the sofa and threw his skinny arms around the man’s legs.  


“Dobby!” the man’s green eyes lightened up considerably. “What are you doing here? I thought Albus gave you a job at Hogwarts.”  
“Oh he did, Professor Lupin. He did and Dobby is ever so grateful. Dobby loves his job at Hogwarts and Dobby is getting paid,” he announced proudly, “but, um.” He cast a doubtful glance back at the woman.  


“Headmaster Dumbledore was kind enough to loan me Dobby occasionally given the circumstances of me living here,” the woman replied as she extended her hand to him. “It’s nice to officially meet you, Professor Lupin.”  


The man laughed ruefully, “not for the last two years--long story. It’s just Remus now.”  


A strange look pass over her face, “You’re parents named you Remus and you became a werewolf. That’s ironic.” The man nodded in agreement. “Oh, I’m sorry where are my manners? I’m Maerna, Maerna Danazul.”  


“Pleasure again,” he replied.  


“I wanted to thank you, again. That was very brave of you and honestly very stupid of me to be out during a full moon. I haven’t lived here very long and didn’t even consider that werewolves might live in the area.” Maerna apologized. “Were you on Wolfsbane and the others weren’t?”  


“Yes,” he said, “although be glad they weren’t. If they were, they would remember that someone lives here and might come back later in the month. They are not a group you want to mess with full moon or not. I didn’t even realize that someone lived here. I thought it had been abandoned for years.” His comment was met with a blank stare from the woman before an excited elf jumped in.  


“Would Professor Lupin like some dinner. Dobby has made beef stew and homemade bread.” The elf’s opinion seemed to have taken a one-eighty since he recognized the werewolf.  


“Why, thank you, Dobby. I’d love some,” he accepted as Maerna helped him to the dining room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Please drop me a comment. I'd love to hear from you.


	12. The Limits of Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Then just accept there are boundaries to our friendship. There are things we don’t want to or can’t talk about and leave it at that. After all, not all secrets we hold are our own, are they?”
> 
> Please drop me a comment. I'd love to hear from you.

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

Remus and Maerna kept the conversation light. Remus brought up her husband and she mentioned lycanthropy but both topics were shunned by the other. The friendship was in its infancy and thus some subjects were best avoided. Instead Remus told her about his adventures while attending or teaching at Hogwarts. One particular story about a boy named Neville and his boggart had Maerna in stitches although for more reasons than Remus could fathom. She hadn’t laughed this hard since her days at Oxford and it felt good, really good. As the conversation lulled, Maerna pushed her spoon around her, now empty, bowl. Would she ever have that again? A normal life? Would she be able sit with friends and laugh until her sides hurt or go shopping at the local plaza or eat ice cream while dipping her toes in the ocean?  


When Dobby served dessert, it was obvious that Remus was wilting. “How far away is your home?” she inquired.  


“My current home is in London,” Remus admitted, “but I transformed about 15 miles that way.” He pointed vaguely towards the forest. “That’s where my wand it. If I could bother you to use your fireplace, I would be appreciatory.”  


“Uuum, actually we aren’t connected to the floo,” Maerna admitted quietly realizing how strange that would sound of a wizarding household but if Remus thought so, he didn’t ask before Dobby jumped in suggesting an alternative. “Dobby, would you be willing to escort Professor Lupin. to wherever he needs to go?” Remus accepted the thoughtful gesture with a quick smile and nod to the little elf.  


Shortly thereafter, Remus rose to leave. Maerna tried to thank him again, but Remus waved it away. “I enjoy being the knight in shining armor occasionally since most people view me as the beast. May I visit you again?” Maerna was hesitant. This definitely was not a good idea, but she threw caution to the wind. She was starving for company and Remus fit the bill. “Send me an owl,” she replied.  


After the elf escorted Remus to his wand, he returned to give her a good tongue lashing. Dobby’s horror at Maerna escaping the wards seemed to due more to the fact that she would run away than the escaping itself. Severus had not made Dobby promise to tell him if she escaped the wards but rather only to find her and bring her back if she somehow managed it. Since she was coming back on her own accord, Dobby decided that obligation was already fulfilled.  


“So, the wards aren’t really that thick,” Maerna commented attempting to sound casual. “Is there anything else beyond those wards to keep me here?”  


“Why?” Dobby asked suspiciously. “What do you mean?”  


“Oh, nothing, I’ve actually been out several times and haven’t seen signs of any other magic. Unless, of course, you count the werewolves.” Maerna breathed out a sigh of relief. It sounded like her strange trip wasn’t the work of Dobby and Severus after all but of a more powerful entity. “I got the message. I’ll stay here.” She smiled and glanced up at the ceiling.

 

__________________

Remus visited about once a week. Sometimes he would bring a game to play. Sometimes they would just walk through the woods. He would talk about his friends. Two names popped up frequently: Padfoot and Tonks. They both must be nicknames because she couldn’t believe anyone actually naming their children those although, she was the first to admit that wizards had some strange names. Maerna did notice that when he talked about Tonks his face would sometimes go a bit pink which made her smile.  


She told him her husband was a cauldron salesman so he traveled for weeks at a time and how she loved to brew potions. Although she had heard about the Wolfsbane, she had never actually seen the recipe and inquired to him about it.  


“It’s insanely complicated,” he said “Honestly, I’m not much of a potioneer. I barely scraped by with my OWL and never bothered with a NEWT. Of course, if I had realized a decade later someone would invent a potion that kept me from tearing myself apart every month, I might have paid more attention.”  


Curiosity got the better of the her and she dragged him down to the basement as she flipped through one of her books. “Oh, wow! This is more challenging than anything I’ve tried before.” Remus nodded but not surprised. “However, that makes it all the more fun,” Maerna pronounced a grin growing across her face as she rummaged through her potions cupboard.  


“Would you believe I have 5 species of Aconitum but not the correct one.” Maerna called out from the back of the cupboard. “I’ll have to write to. . . Stephen and see if he’ll send me some.”  


“Maerna, you don’t have to attempt this. I’m sure you are a great potioneer but I don’t want to waste your time and resources.” Remus tried to be kind but realistic.  


“Oh, it isn’t wasting my time,” she said cheerfully as she emerged with her hands full of ingredients. “Stephen wants me working on my potion skills. He seems to think it’s the only thing I’m good at,” she said matter-of-factly which made Remus cringe. He was starting to form a picture of this husband and wasn’t impressed by him.  


“Now pull that scowl off your face and start cutting these up.” She tossed some Valerian root at him. So, Remus started spending most of his off time in her dungeon feeling like he was back in Professor Slughorn’s class. Maerna would fuss and fume. She melted 2 cauldrons. “Damn, he won’t be happy,” she muttered but simply moved on to the next one. Sometimes, he would say he had to go and she just waved haphazardly, so wrapped up in her potion that she wasn’t even really aware of his departure.  


One sunny morning as March drew close and April loomed, Maerna received an owl. “NO POTIONS TODAY. I’m bringing my dog. 10:00. Maerna smiled. She had become a bit obsessed and probably a bore. At exactly ten o’clock, she heard a hollar from outside. Grabbing her cloak, she stepped onto the porch and carefully pushed through the wards. Outside, the air was crisp and cool. Springtime nipped in the air and signs of life were wakening to its warmth. “Hhhhmmm,” Maerna mused as she glanced at the field. “It looks like those wildflowers I imagined will be here soon.”  


Directly in front of her was Remus, donned in a threadbare coat that couldn’t possible keep him warm enough. In his hand was a stick and sitting next to him was the mangiest black mutt that Maerna had ever seen. Remus made introductions as Maerna went to pet him. “Maerna meet Padfoot. Padfoot, this is Maerna.”  


Padfoot barked a greeting as Maerna furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “I thought Padfoot was a person. Your stories. . .”  


“Oh, the dog is named after my best friend.” Remus explained.  


Maerna laughed, “I’m not sure if naming this scuffy thing after your friend is a compliment or not.” Padfoot growled at the assessment and Maerna stooped down to eye level gazing at him. Just like when she looked at Remus in wolf form, she saw an unnatural intelligence for such a creature. “However, it looks like I stand corrected. I apologize.” She bowed her head slightly toward the dog. He accepted her apology with a sloppy kiss across the cheek.  


“Maerna, did you remember your wand?” Remus asked as they started toward the woods.  


Maerna stopped, her face turning pink, “Umm, I don’t have a wand.”  


“What!” Remus cried. “How could your husband leave you here for weeks in a cottage in the middle of nowhere and no wand!”  


She lay a hand on his arm trying to calm him down. “Please don’t yell at him. It’s not his fault. You see, I’m a squib.” Maerna had decided long ago that her magical powers were to be secret until she understood what had happened.  


She watched his face carefully. The look, Maerna understood. It was similar to the one Lucius had on his face when he realized that he had to “welcome” a muggle into his home. Whereas Lucius was more disgust, Remus was horror. “I’m sorry. I should have been honest with you earlier. It was just so nice to actually talk and laugh with someone and I was afraid if you knew. . .” Her voice trailed off and she turned to head back.  


Maerna had taken a few steps when Padfoot came bounding up and jumped in front of her refusing to let her move. Remus caught up and grabbed her arm, “Maerna, I don’t care if you are a squib. I would still consider you a friend.”  


“Really?” Relief spread across her face.  


“Absolutely. What a hypocrite I would be if you accepted my lycanthropy and I didn’t accept you as you but there are a few things I don’t understand. First I’ve seen you do wandless magic, turning the light on in your house.”  


“Stephen has it set up so I can wave my hand or clap and they turn on or off--some sort of spell.”  


“Okay, what about potions? I’ve never heard of a squib that could create potions and you are obviously talented.” he pressed further.  


“Yeah, Stephen has some theories about that too. There’s enough magical aura around me to create the potions but not enough to get a wand to work.” Maerna didn’t exactly lie but it wasn’t the entire truth. “If you notice when wandwork is required for the Wolfbane--”  


“You have me do it,” Remus supplied and Maerna shrugged with a smile.  


“This is even worse though. He leaves a squib defenseless in a cottage in the middle of nowhere,” he challenged.  


“He put up wards. Wards you can’t get through without my help,” she supplied but he look unconvinced. “Remus, please don’t judge him.” Maerna’s voice was quiet but authoritative. “There are many things that you don’t understand and I’m not at liberty to explain.” Remus crossed his arms unwilling to bend. “Do you want to tell me why your dog seems to understand entire conversations in English and I’m bet has more intelligence than most wizards?”  


“No, not really,” he conceded glancing at the large beast who cocked its head to the side and allowed his overly large tongue hang out from the side of his mouth, but Maerna wasn’t fooled. Padfoot’s eyes moved back and forth between them following every line of their conversation.  


“Then just except there are boundaries to our friendship.” Maerna continud. “There are things we don’t want to or can’t talk about and leave it at that. After all, not all secrets we hold are our own, are they.”  


“No, they aren’t,” he admitted as he patted the dog on the head.  


“Come on, let’s get some lunch.” Maerna called a truce. “Would Padfoot prefer the same meal we are having or should I try to find something closer to dog food?”  


Remus smiled making his eyes twinkle in laughter, “He’s is own dog. Why don’t you ask him?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are enjoying Even the Best Laid Plans. Remus is my 2nd favorite HP character so I had to work him in. In case you are thinking of it, there won't be any kind of love triangle here. I could never consider tearing Remus and Tonks apart.


	13. Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman With A Frying Pan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You won’t hurt me,” Maerna challenged.  
> “You are a fool if you believe that,” he countered. “If the Dark Lord asked me to give you pain, then I would--no questions asked. You are expendable. I am expendable. There are much more important things than you and I and that is what I protect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my favorite chapters. Once again, snarky Snape has met his match. The title should be a bit of a hint.
> 
> Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her.  
> The nickname He-Whose-Name-Must-Be-Hyphenated is attributed to Dufrene Party of Two in 25 Ways to Annoy Lord Voldemort on fanfiction.net

Maerna was amazed how quickly April seemed to move. Severus would be home in just two days for his Easter Break and Maerna had to admit to herself that she was looking forward to it. “Did I just refer to this place as our home?” she wondered to herself. On one hand, it showed how she had adjusted to her situation, but it also meant that she was letting her guard down. Although she had certained warmed up to Severus but she still didn’t entirely trust him. She trusted some aspects of him but not others. The problem was she didn’t know which parts were which.  


Today, however, Remus was coming over with Padfoot again. She was getting close on the Wolfsbane and was excited to show him her progress. Perhaps some day, he would trust her potion. She was also thinking of their visit with trepidation. Maerna was going to tell the werewolf that he couldn’t come over for a few weeks at least until Severus left again. Remus wouldn’t be happy. He had been hinting on meeting her “Stephen” so that they could be transparent in their friendship, but Maerna knew the potential meeting would be more than disastrous.  


The walk was quiet except for Padfoot’s barking and chasing at the birds. Each one was in their own thoughts: Maerna’s about the upcoming conversation she needed to have with him. Remus still wasn’t happy about her living arrangements and was posed to start the argument again. “Maerna, you don’t understand the dangers that are coming. The Daily Prophet won’t report the truth and -”  


“I’m well aware of the dangers,” Maerna interrupted, “and I don’t get The Prophet. However, I have the article is last month’s Quibbler if that is what you are referring.”  


“Then you understand the dangers.” Remus said.  


“In some ways, more than you understand,” Maerna replied truthfully. “The Dark Lord has risen again and is planning to take over the Ministry of Magic, the Magical worlds and then the muggle world. He will use every means necessary, no matter how evil, to meet his goal. Does that sum it up well?” she asked a bit sarcastically.  


Remust just stared at her. “You called him, the Dark Lord. The only people who use that name are Death Eaters.”  


Maerna rolled her eyes, “Gee, now where did I pick up that habit,” she thought to herself. She rolled up her left sleeve and flashed her undecorated forearm to Remus. “l call him the Dark Lord because when people hear the name Voldemort they tend to scream, shudder or say something equally annoying. However, “You-Know-Who?” is a stupid name too and I refuse to indulge in that, so what name would you prefer, Professor Lupin?”  


Remus smiled, “You are right. The reaction to names are stupid, but I understand where they are coming from. I lived through the first war. I had good friends die. . . “ His voice trailed off.  


“And I’ve already had family members die in this one,” Maerna retorted to Remus’s astonishment, but she refused to elaborate but rather gave him a long sigh. “Remus, I know you mean well. Thank you for being concerned about me, but we are treading into those forbidden topics.” Remus stared at for a moment as if hoping the forbidden topics could be explained through her eyes. Eventually he nodded and picked up a stick for Padfoot trying to ignore the tension that had built up so quickly between them.  


Trying to lighten the mood, Maerna called for the dog. “Hey Padfoot, we need your opinion on something. Padfoot bounded over and tilted his head to the side in anticipation. His not-so-animal eyes held an inquisitive look showing an intelligence well beyond any normal dog. “You see, we can’t decide the best name to call the evil wizard that has returned but nobody wants to admit to.” Padfoot immediately started growling. “We agree,” Maerna replied, “but he still needs a name.” So, Maerna and Remus came up with various names each more outlandish than the last, from He-Whose-Name-Must-Be-Hyphenated to Moldymort. With each one Padfoot voted with a bark, growl or whimper.  


Padfoot and Remus had already accepted a dinner invitation to the cottage when the small house appeared on the horizon. However, as they drew closer, something was amiss. Maerna could sense a shift in the magic of the house for which she couldn’t explain until the she had a clear view of the windows and saw the shadow of a man pacing inside of them. “Oh my gosh, he’s back,” Maerna whispered. “He’s not supposed to be back until Friday.” She turned to the dog and master. “Remus, Padfoot, you have to leave, NOW! My husband is back.” Remus started to argue but she cut him off. “Please Remus, trust me. If he meets you, he will kill you. Please do this for me.”  


Remus look torn but his instincts told him to trust her. “How will we know that we can come back?” he asked. Maerna lookedly wildly around until she spotted something. “There that large oak tree on the edge of the forest. I’ll mark it with something white when it’s safe to return but it may take weeks. I’m sorry. I have to go.” She bolted into full view of the house and slipped around the back.  


Not one but now two men were standing where she had been just moments before. “That’s not good,” said the “new” addition.  


“No, it’s not,” agreed Remus staring intently at the little cottage, his shoulders were tense and his face was grim. Finally, his posture slumped a bit as if resigned as he turned back to the forest. “As much the situation worries me, we have to trust her. Come one Padfoot. Let’s go home.”  


The shaggy haired man nodded and they both disapparated.

 

____________________________  
Maerna slipped in the back door cringing at what she knew was to come. He heard the back door click and his wand was drawn before she could take a step inside. “Easy,” she said “it’s just me.” His face was paler than she thought possible, but after seeing her alive and unhurt, it quickly turned a deep shade of red--anger red.  


“Ummm, how long have you been home?” she tried to ask pleasantly but he was not to be assuaged. In two quick strides, he was across the room with a hand of steel around her upper arm and dragging her to the sofa. Once there, he waved his wand several times so she couldn’t move and was forced to look at him.  


“Now,” he said. His voice was smooth as silk but sounded deadlier than a snake. “We’re going to play a little game and you will answer either yes or no.”  


“You won’t hurt me,” Maerna challenged loudly although inside she wasn’t so certain.  


“You are a fool if you believe that,” he thundered. “If the Dark Lord asked me to give you pain, then I would--no questions asked. You are expendable. I am expendable. There are much more important things than you and I and that is what I protect.” Maerna’s eyes grew large. She believed him. At that moment, she knew it was true and she was afraid.  


“Now,” he started again. “Were you outside the wards?”  


“Yes,” she answered meekly.  


“Did Dobby take you out of them?”  


“No.”  


“Did someone else get you out?”  


“No.”  


Severus stopped for a moment and stared at her in disbelief. “Did you break the wards yourself to get out?” he asked.  


“I don’t know if I really broke them as much as pushed them aside.” Maerna tried to wiggle a bit through her invisible bonds but only succeeding in moving her pinkie finger a bit.  


“Explain,” he demanded.  


“At first the wards were a solid wall like concrete but after a while, they became more flexible. Eventually, it felt like a piece of fabric or a curtain that I could just move to the side.” She dared to glance up at him. He grabbed her chin and bore into her mind. She tried to focus on just that hoping he wouldn’t look further. As quickly as he started, he shoved her back and turned away.  


“Where have you gone?” The interrogation started again.  


“Just walking around the woods and the fields-probably no more than five miles from the cottage.”  


“Nowhere else? You didn’t go to any villages, meet any new people on your walks?”  


“No,” Maerna said. Technically, she didn’t lie. When she met Remus he was a wolf and Padfoot was a dog, of sorts. “I don’t even know where the closests village is.”  


“Who else knows?”  


“Dobby knows, but don’t yell at him. You made him promise to tell you if I escaped. Since that hasn’t happened, I convinced him that you didn’t really need to know.”  


“But you did escape,” he challenged his eyes were like to coals blazing in a fire.  


“Yes, but I came back, Severus,” Maerna countered. I came back. I’ve gone past the wards everyday for over a month and I’ve come back every time. Do you know how many chances, I’ve had to run away? How many times I could have gotten help but I didn’t? I came back every time.” Tears were now streaming down her face. Unable to wipe them away, they dripped off her nose and soaked the front of her jumper.  


“Why?” he asked such a simple word but filled with so much meaning. His face softened slightly.  


“Because Severus, you need me.”  


It was the wrong thing to say. His face hardened again like stone. “I don’t need anyone,” he hissed. With a wave of his wand, he turned and walked out slamming the door behind him. Maerna sat there as the tears flowed. It wasn’t until several minutes later that she realized he had released her from the binding spell before he vanished.

For two days, Maerna had stayed in the little cottage and no one had come. Severus didn’t come. Dobby didn’t come. She never saw Remus through the windows. Severus, well what did she expect? In his mind, she had betrayed him. How, she wasn’t exactly sure, but she was sure of the fury on his face. How does Severus Snape handle betrayal? Evidently by tightening up your prison walls and forbidding any visitors. The wards were, once again, rock solid and she was sure the Dobby was forbidden to enter the cottage. Remus was her own fault. She told him not to come back for several weeks. Who knows what would happen by then.  


Maerna paced continually in the tiny house, recounting the explosive episode with Severus. At first, Maerna was scared, scared because she had seen anger in Severus, true anger directed at her for the first time. She had seen him in many situations but never had she been the focus of such ire before, not even when she stabbed him in the neck with a poisoned knife.  


Then her anger gave way to agitation and bewilderment. She started to question herself. Should she have stayed in the house all the time? Was she wrong to have breached the wards? Was it forbidden to be friends with Severus Snape and someone else at the same time?  


Finally, she was angry. How dare he tell her to live her life! Yes, she was a prisoner, but didn’t she prove that wasn’t exactly true. Hadn’t she proved that she was willing to help him despite how he “introduced” himself to her? He was the one who said he wanted to work on this potions project as partners but the first moment she stretched beyond his desires, he snapped her back like a rubberband. Well, she wasn’t standing it anymore. She didn’t care what he wanted and she didn’t care what God said. At the first opportunity, she was escaping. This time, it would be for good.  


The opportunity came Saturday morning as she was fixing herself breakfast. The front door slammed indicating a visitor. It had to be Severus. Dobby always apparated straight into the kitchen. Snape stood in the doorway for a long time stud

ying her but she refused to turn around and acknowledge his existence. Instead she vigorously scrubbed an already sparkling frying pan.  
Finally, he approached and sat at the table. “Is there any tea?” he asked quietly. Maerna didn’t respond but simply made him a cup with milk, no sugar and set it in front of him. As she glanced in his eyes, she saw so many emotions: anger, sadness, regret. All that was returned to him was fury. He sighed, “I suppose, I deserve that, but we need to talk. You need to understand some things.” Maerna didn’t answer. She just turned back to her frying pan cleaning frenzy.  


Severus closed his eyes and sighed again. How, in the hell, was he going to start this conversation? Could he even start it? He didn’t realize that there was a problem until he felt a wind in his face and opened his eyes to a huge frying pan coming straight at his nose. The force of the frying pan and the woman behind it sent his chair falling and him flying onto his back on the floor. Quick as a cat, Maerna straddled him and reached for his wand. Tossing it well out of reach, she raised her frying pan for another painful, if not deadly blow, when she froze. The frying pan had been wrenched from her fingertips and was now floating above her head, just out of reach. She glared at Severus trying to blame him for ruining her planned devastation of his face when she realized a third person was in the room. Severus twisted his head to see the welcome diversion while Maerna glowered at him.  


“While I apologize for not knocking, I thought it would be prudent to intervene before there were, shall we say, more severe consequences to your actions.” The old man’s white beard stretched well below his belt and his ice blue eyes twinkled merrily.  


“Give me back my frying pan,” the woman demanded.  


“No,” the stranger simply said.  


“Fine,” She compensated by balling up her fist and punching Snape in his large nose. She tried for a second time, but Severus was ready. He grabbed her wrist and flipped her over so he was on top. Then he reached out, summoned his wand and put her in a full body bind.  


“Was that really necessary?” asked the man as Severus pulled himself up.  


Severus just gave him a withering look and headed for a mirror to inspect the damage inflicted on him. “Until she calms down, yes,” he declared.  


The old man just shook his head and turned to the woman. “Why is it every time you and Severus have a fight, he comes out the bloodier of you two?” He released her bind and offered his hand to help her up. “Oh, where are my manners. It’s nice to meet you Maerna Danazul. I’ve heard so much about you. My name is Albus Dumbledore, recently deposed Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.”


	14. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Which side are you on?” she demanded of the younger wizard.
> 
> A wry smile spread across his face. “That depends on who you ask,” he answered cryptically

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

Professor Dumbledore stayed for dinner, so Dobby was in his element preparing a small feast. Dobby had expanded his repertoire of meals so Maerna felt more at home. Tonight, it was Smithfield Ham and baked beans. Severus eyed his plate in apprehension but Dumbledore seemed more adventurous and ate with gusto.  


Maerna, however, picked at her meal though as thoughts swirled in her head making her almost dizzy. What did Dumbledore know? He knew her name but did he know that Severus kidnapped her on Voldemort’s orders? He must not realize that Severus was a Death Eater, she reasoned. She hoped.  


“I would have come over to Gri-where you were,” Severus quickly corrected himself. “You need not come here. I know this cottage isn’t your favorite place.” Maerna paused and raised her eyebrow in for clarification but none was forthcoming from either wizard.  


“Thank you for thinking of me, Severus,” replied Albus as he reached for his glass of red wine. “In truth, while there are lots of painful memories here, they are from the long ago past. I need to conquer those fears and focus on more important things at hand.”  


“Your past is important,” Maerna pointed out as she forked a slice of ham.  


“Yes, it is,” agreed Albus, “but if it is keeping you from accepting the present and the future, then you need to lay it aside, including the negative emotions that come it.” Dumbledore’s ice blue eyes pierced her and then swept over to Snape. “This is something that both of you need to accept if you are going to work on Voldemort’s project while ensuring its completion is futile.“  


Maerna’s eyes grew wide at Dumbledore’s advice and began to choke on her ham. Severus calmly pointed his wand at her throat, “Anapneo” so she immediately began breathing easier. “Thank you,” Maerna said almost absentmindedly as she stared at Dumbledore and Severus before turning to the latter and narrowing her brown eyes on him. “Which side are you on?” she demanded of the younger wizard.  


A wry smile spread across his face. “That depends on who you ask,” he answered cryptically adding to Maerna’s confusion. “However, Albus is correct. Whether the goal is to make the potion successfully or to sabotage it without causing suspicion, we will have to put our past aside and work together.”  


Maerna was still trying to piece the conversation together. Severus was a Death Eater. She had observed him bow before his master. He kidnapped her, watched another murder her grandmother. At the same time, he had challenged Voldemort’s decision to have her removed to Lucius. Right now, she was watching him dine with Albus Dumbledore, like they were old friends. In truth, as far as prisoners, he had always treated her with respect as long as she didn’t cause him ire.  


“Why now?” she asked. “Why are you willing to trust me now.”  


“Because you’ve earned it,” Severus said simply raising his wine goblet to her in a small salute. “As you pointed out to me, you’ve been beyond the wards dozens of times. You never tried to turn me in. You didn’t try to hide from me. In fact, you returned to me. You haven’t even attempted to tell Albus about your kidnapping tonight. Not that it matters. He, or course, already knows. You’ve proven you can be trusted.” Maerna looked sceptical, thinking back to Wednesday night. Severus must have read her face. “I was shocked. I was worried. You can imagine what the Dark Lord would do if you escaped my control.”  


Maerna just stared at him and then back to the headmaster, her head moving back and forth like a ping-pong. Dumbledore just smiled at her beningely, a slight twinkle in his eye. Snape leaned back in his chair and arched one eye at her, waiting patiently for her response.  


She said nothing but felt like one or two more puzzle pieces had been handed to her. The problem was when she discovered where they fit, the picture seemed completely different than what she had expected.

________________________

Severus’s spring break flew by. He wasn’t happy about her attempts at creating Wolfsbane because it was a “colossal waste of her precious time” although he was impressed with the quality of the potion. “It’s not good enough for consumption but held promise especially for someone who had never taken an official potion class.” Maerna tried to argue that Wolfsbane could be classified under psychotomimetic potions because it kept the brain from transforming into a more base brain with only feral desires. Severus, however, didn’t look convinced and insisted that the focus on other topics.  
Maerna did feel as if the tables had turned in their relationship. A cloud of trust seemed to surround them like a web, but it felt very fragile like one wrong word would tear it apart. The curricula they studied had also shifted slightly with more focus on chemistry instruction for Severus and less potions for her.  


Albus came over for dinner several times during the break. He seemed very relaxed about losing his position at Hogwarts. He told Maerna not to worry about it for he was very sure it was temporary and Severus mumbled that, “at least that curse would soon get rid of another dunderhead attempting to teach.” However, when he and Severus left together for secret meetings, both would be tense and neither would discuss it with her. Two evenings before term started, Severus winced and rubbed his arm just as dinner was called. Albus turned immediately serious and nodded to him. Maerna reached out but he shook her away, pausing only to accio his black cloak and white mask from his room before walking out the door.  


Dinner was a quiet affair before Dumbledore broke the silence. “I haven’t seen you eat so little since the first evening I was here and you found out Severus was a spy.” Maerna said nothing, so he pressed further. “You are worried about him? Why?”  


Maerna glanced up at the question. Why? Did she have an answer? Did she consider him a friend? Would she be upset if something happened to him? She didn’t want him hurt because he was human, but did it run deeper than that? Carefully, she chose her words. “Because I care for him,” she admitted. “The problem is, I don’t know who I care for? Who is the man I care about? In short, which side is he really on: yours or Voldemort’s?  


Albus leaned back and smiled. “Excellent question. I, of course, would tell you and anyone who asked me that I trust Severus Snape with my life. However, Lord Voldemort is a powerful Legillimest and has been through Severus’s mind many times. I’m sure he would tell you that I’m a soft-hearted fool and Severus is dedicated to him. So, the question is, Ms. Danazul, do you trust my assessment or do you trust Voldemort’s?”  


Maerna shook her head. “Neither. The only one I trust is God’s and he told me to stay with Severus. That, Severus needs me.”  


Dumbledore nodded in approval, “Then, please listen to your God. Severus may not realize it, Maerna, but he needs a friend. He needs someone who doesn’t judge him but accepts him, flaws and all. You might just be the perfect person for that job.”  


Albus stayed until Severus got home several hours later. Maerna heard a low, urgent conversation in the kitchen but couldn’t understand it. After the front door slammed, she ventured into the living room. Severus was sitting on the couch, eyes closed. Maerna quietly brought him a pain potion and some hot tea. He nodded his thanks but said nothing, so she curled up next to him and laid her head on his shoulder as he stared into the fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are enjoying Even the Best Laid Plans. Please drop me a review and let me know what you think!


	15. Keeping Your Lives Separate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sometimes those parts are wonderful together making exotic new tastes not to be forgotten, but I think this time, mixing them will leave a sour taste in e

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

 

The next morning Severus stood in front of the fireplace waving his wand and muttering a complex incantation.  


“What are you doing?” Maerna entered from the hallway as she pulled her hair into a ponytail.  


“Showing you that I trust you. Please don’t abuse it. The ministry still considers you a victim of a kidnapping so if you go out, go in disguise.” Severus instructed. He finished his wand work and turned around. “Let’s see if you can open and close the floo wandlessly. It’s a simple spell.” He explained the incantation. Four tries later, Maerna smiled at her success. Severus nodded in approval. “Your wandless abilities are impressive. I think you have some strong magical abilities if we could ever understand your wand predicament.” He then handed her two small bags: one of floo powder and the other of galleons and sickles.  


“You really do trust me,” Maerna’s eyes widened.  


“To come back or not to spend this all at once?” Severus asked, a small grin teasing on his lips.  


She stared at him, “Was that a joke? Did Severus Snape just make a joke?”  


The smile immediately dropped back into his typical deadpan expression. “Evidently not well,” he drolled.  


Maerna took the offered bags and a strange look crossed her face, almost tender.  


“I’ll see you in a couple of weeks,” Severus said, all business-like again. “I expect you to be keeping up with your studies. By this summer, I’d like to start working with Scopolamine.”  


“Yes, professor,” Maerna smiled. Severus turned to leave as she grabbed his arm, “No, wait! In the interest of trust, I need to confess something.”  


Maerna took a big breath, “Do you remember asking me if I had met someone while walking beyond the wards?” Severus arched an eyebrow and nodded. “Well, I didn’t meet a person, but---” Maerna began to tell the story about walking during the full moon and the one werewolf who stopped the others so she could escape. She began to tell him about helping the wolf after the sun had risen, when Severus raised his palm up to silence her.  


“The Dark Lord doesn’t like half breeds. They are not worthy of his new order. At the same time, he is considering an alliance with the werewolves against the Ministry. While, it is okay to know of werewolves, I wouldn’t become too close to them. They should be considered as members of an alliance not friends. Any other association would be clearly disapproved of if discovered. Do I make myself clear?” Maerna nodded. He was perfectly clear. Any friendship with werewolves had to remain a secret, even from him.  


Severus gave her a tight smile, “I’ll see you soon.” Impulsively, Maerna threw her arms around him and whispered in his ear, “I’ll miss you.” Then she quickly let go.  


He took a few steps beyond the wards and turned back towards Maerna for a moment A ghost of smile flitted across his face as he apparated away. “Yes,” he thought to himself, “My plan is working quite well.” By giving her the freedom she craves, he had turned her into another kind of prisoner. Emotional walls were harder to break through than physical ones.

 

________________  


Maerna kept herself quite busy. For some reason, she didn’t mark the tree for Remus as soon as Severus left. She kept her “husband’s” advice to heart and contemplated how best to proceed. She was milling this very thought around when a sharp knock on the door broke her reverie.  


Dumbledore bowed his head slightly as the door was opened, “Good day, Maerna. I just dropped by to see how you are adjusting to the solitary life again. I, myself, find myself with too much time and not enough to do without the duties of Hogwarts to keep me company. May I help you with anything? Is there anything you require?”  


“Advice,” admitted Maerna as she moved out of the doorway.  


“Aaaahhh, well in that case, I’ll shall require some tea as payment.” Dumbledore swept in and settled himself at the kitchen table.  


Maerna prepared the tea and retold him the story she had started with Severus and finished it with Severus’s reaction and advice. Dumbledore slowly twirled his finger in the air so his spoon would stir in the sugar. Finally, he looked into Maerna’s eyes. “Severus walks such a thin tightrope. Even the smallest infraction could shift his balance and anger Voldemort. You must consider this in everything you do. It’s very likely what you do could reflect on Severus’s position in the Death Eater circle.”  


“You make it sound like I’m married to him,” muttered Maerna.  


Albus smiled, “not quite, but it might be good to think of it like that. The wives of Death Eaters are very carefully about their lives, their social circles, how they raise their children etc. in order to stay aligned with The Dark Lord’s expectations.”  


“If that is true, I have a feeling that marriage isn’t for me,” Maerna quipped.  


“No, I don’t see you happy in that life,” Dumbledore mused and then turned serious, “although I think you could do it, if it was important for survival of those whom you loved.” His eyes left like blue lasers slicing through Maerna as she squirmed.  


“Do you think I can maintain my friendship with this werewolf?” She tried to realign back to the original conversation.  


“I think it might be possible. Don’t confide in Severus about it and if Voldemort becomes aware, take full responsibility for your decisions. Severus, after all, has already warned you to not become involved.” Dumbledore said, “but also be aware that if Voldemort does ever discover the truth, the consequences would be severe.”  


Maerna nodded thoughtfully. “I was interested in your opinion before I told you the last detail: his name. You see, you know this particular werewolf, Remus Lupin.”  


Dumbledore’s poker face is as good as Severus’s, she observed. I wonder who would win when bluffing.  


“That does make a difference. Yes, I think you can still remain friends, but first may I reiterate not to say anything to Severus or Remus about the other. As I’m sure you are aware, they went to school together and taught together for a year. You may accidentally say a clue to tip one of them off. It’s better to keep those parts of your life completely separate. The second is, please don’t tell Remus that I’ve been visiting. If he needs to know, I will be the one to tell him. Again, sometimes keeping parts of your lives compartmentalized is safer. Don’t you agree?”  


Maerna nodded. “Life has many parts like the food on your plate. Don’t let them touch each other.”  


Albus seemed amused, “Sometimes those parts are wonderful together making exotic new dishes not to be forgotten, but I think this time, mixing them will leave a sour taste in everyone’s mouths.”  


Both were quiet for several minutes while Albus finished his tea. When he set his cup down for the last time, he spoke again. “I confess this visit wasn’t just to check up on you. Severus volunteered some information that I found intriguing and wanted to investigate myself.” Dumbledore’s tone suggested he was using ‘volunteer’ in its loosest meaning but the tone also seemed forced like he was trying to look at both sides of a coin at the same time. It left Maerna feeling confused but also felt like confusion was Dumbledore’s purpose. It put her on edge and into awareness mode.  


“What could a venerable man such as yourself find intriguing at this boring cottage?” she asked.  


“You,” he said simply.  


“Stop dramatizing and speak your mind,” Maerna snapped.  


Dumbledore chuckled. “I’ve heard about your little issues with wands. I had never heard of such a thing. May I look into it?”  


“Oh,” This was not what Maerna was expecting. “Sure. What do you suggest?”  


“First I’d like to see the demonstration Severus saw with his wand.” Maerna groaned. “I promise to heal it immediately and I’ll give you a pain potion before. Then I’d like to talk to you about your childhood. Severus said that you weren’t sure if you were born this way or it happened at a young age.”  


Maerna nodded. “Sometimes, I feel like I have a memory of holding a wand safely and then other times only pain. I’m not sure if all the memories are valid. Memories are funny things.”  


“Yes, they are,” Dumbledore agreed. “Invaluable, but funny.”  


Dumbledore handed her a pain potion and then pulled out his wand and offered it to her.  


Maerna sighed. “It doesn’t do anything if I just hold it. It’s only when I try to use it that it retaliates.” She held her palm up to accept his wand, but as he held it over her hand, the wand made a horrible scream. Suddenly her entire hand turned red and started to blister. It had moved up to her elbow before Dumbledore could yank his wand back.  


Dumbledore grabbed her hand gently and examined it, “Are you okay?” he asked. “Thank goodness I gave you a pain potion.” Hesitantly, he waved his wand over her hand for almost a minute.  


“It’s not healing?” Maerna asked warily staring at the swollen, blistering appendage.  


“I’ll be able to heal it,” he promised. “Right now I’m just analyzing it.” After a few more seconds, he waved his wand with a flourish and completely healed her hand. “See, good as new.”  


Maerna yanked her hand back and cradled the new, pink skin, “I hate wands.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Maerna's first trip to Diagon Alley including a not quite opened Joke shop and a visit to a well known mysterious shop owner. Plus the fall out from the Department of Mysteries Battle.


	16. R.I.P Man's Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yes, you can Remus. You’re a bloody Gryffindor and one of the strongest people I know.”

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

 

Two weeks after Dumbledore almost turned her hand into a well-done hamburger, Maerna decided to mark the large tree signalling Remus to come back. The fact he responded within hours and the tense look on his face showed just how worried Remus had been.  


“I’m fine, Remus, really,” she tried to persuade him. “Look Stephen hooked us up the floo system, so I can be the one to visit.” Remus looked like he wanted to broach the topic again, but Maerna cut him off. Her husband was one of those ‘unspeakable topics’ between them. “What do you think of my hair?” Maerna had magically bobbed it and dyed it a medium brown in attempt to follow Severus’s wishes to go shopping incognito.  


“It certainly makes you look different,” Remus replied as politely as possible.  


Maerna rolled her eyes. “Just tell me you don’t like it. I’m a big girl. I can handle it. Let me guess. You prefer blondes to brunettes.”  


“Actually, pinks are my favorite,” Remus grinned.  


Maerna returned the smile. “I can’t tell if you are serious or joking, but I do have a serious request of you.”  


“Name it, Maerna.”  


“Well, I need to go shopping but I have no idea where to go in England,” Maerna explained.  


“Your husband has never taken you to Diagon Alley?” Remus asked incredulously.  


“Never,” Maerna gave him her best winning smile. “You can be my first.” Now it was Remus’s turn to roll his eyes. “Actually, I have one more little favor to ask and it falls under the, don’t ask questions category.”  


“I’m not going to like this, am I?” Remus growled.  


Maerna gave his arm a light squeeze before she stepped into the fireplace. “When we get to Diagon Alley, don’t call me Maerna.”  


“And what exactly should I call you.”  


“I don’t know. You can decide that in the floo. DIAGON ALLEY!” she yelled.  


Remus just shook his head in exasperation and followed her.

 

___________________________  


Remus showed “Meg” all around Diagon Alley including where to go and where not to go. (“That’s Knockturn Alley. I better never catch you there.”) As soon as she spied it, Maerna dragged him into Flourish and Botts. Remus, being an avid reader himself, laughed and dubbed her, “A Ravenclaw.” After 45 minutes of perusing, he suggested that they also check out other shops. It was a closed up shop that caught Remus’s eye.  


“It looks like it hasn’t opened yet,” Maerna reported as she looked through the window. “They are still organizing stock in there.”  


Remus, however, wasn’t peering through the window but rather up at the sign. “Their mother is going to kill them.”  


Maerna stepped back to get a good angle of the shop’s sign. “Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes-Grand Opening in June. Do you know the owner?”  


Remus just groaned and slipped around the back. He knocked on the back door several times before it was opened by a red-haired young man. At first, he looked weary but then delighted when his eyes fell on Remus. “Thank goodness you weren’t mum” and eyed Maerna appreciatively. “Welcome to Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes. We’re still in the process of creating merchandise but for our favorite ex-professor and his lovely lady, we’ll offer a pre-tour.”  


He led them into the back where they were greeted by his doppelganger. “Hello, I’m George. Remus, who is this exquisite lady and is she available?”  


aerna laughed at the twins’ forwardness as Remus introduced Meg who most certainly was not available. The boys pouted for a moment and then returned to their naturally cheery selves at least until Remus’s next question came out, “Why aren’t you all in school?” This led to a long tale of woe including two poor misunderstood boys, an overbearing mother who meant well but didn’t understand their passion and a cow named Umbridge.  


“Oh, I’ve heard of her.” Maerna piped up. “The person I know doesn’t like her either.” This led the twins into series of hilarious stories including a portable swamp and Weasleys’ Wildfire Whizbangs which they were currently attempting to restock after “the best practical joke ever played at Hogwarts.”  


The Weasley’s gave them an extensive tour of the back rooms. Maerna, with a passion for potions herself, was fascinating with some of their ideas. They chatted amiably about reactants and timing of various ingredients. Eventually, the visitors left the boys to their work. Maerna promised to visit again and reentered Diagon Alley. Remus was now smiling about the brothers, “Well, they certainly seemed to have found their calling. I wish them luck.”  


The wandered down the alley as Remus pointed out various interests like Gringotts and Madam Malkin’s Robes for All Occasions. They had reached the end when a narrow, dusty shop stopped Maerna in her tracks--Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands Since 382 B.C. “I would like to go in,” Maerna proclaimed. Remus tried to dissuade her but her glare silenced him and he held open the door.  


The tingling of the bell echoed around the small shop. Soon a man with abnormally large silver eyes approached them. They first settled on Remus. “10 ¼ inch, Cypress with a unicorn hair core-Remus Lupin. It’s a pleasure to see you again. Is your wand treating you well?”  


“Quite well,” Remus replied. “We’re going on 25 years in August.”  


“Hhhhmmmm,” Ollivander had already moved on to Maerna. “What about you, young lady. How may I help you?”  


“Uuummm, I don’t think you really can,” Maerna said shyly.  


“Are you looking for a wand?” the shopkeeper inquired.  


“Oh no,” the woman hastily replied. “Uuuuhhhhh. Wands don’t like me too much. I’m, honestly, not sure why I came in.” She blatantly ignored the inquisitive look from her friend.  


Ollivander didn’t say anything but took out his measuring tape. He measured her arm which is customary but when he got to her palm, he stopped. His soft hands grabbed hers and he inspected the lines upon her for several minutes. Somehow his eyes got even bigger. “You are right. Wands don’t seem to like you. Do you know why?”  


“No,” Maerna answered.  


Ollivander looked like he was about to speak but glanced at Remus and shut his mouth. “This is not the company to have this conversation. Besides I need to do a bit of investigating and that might take a while. May I contact you when I have some information for you?”  


“I’d like that. Thank you.” Maerna replied.  


“Oh, the pleasure is all mine. Oh and Maerna, bring the other one, not this one with you, please.” Mr. Ollivander requested.  


“Yes, sir,” she replied. She turned toward the door and pushed it open, aware that those silver orbs never left her back.  


“We never introduced you by name to Ollivander, did we?” Remus asked once outside.  


Maerna let out a long breath, “No. No, we didn’t.”

 

________________  


The weather blossomed so Remus came several times. Occasionally, he brought Padfoot and once he even brought over the infamous Tonks-with pink hair to visit, Maerna noted with a satisfied smile. She liked the Metamorphagus and hoped Remus realized that he did as well.  


Dumbledore continued to visit regularly. He admitted that he was still stumped about her “wand issues.” She hadn’t told him about her trip to Ollivanders because she had a distinct feeling that the headmaster wasn’t the “other one” whom she was to bring but rather, it was Severus. Dumbledore helped her with her wandless magic. She could do about half dozen spells now. Although Maerna found it frustrating, he was pleased with her progress.  


One evening, Dumbledore and Maerna has just finished another delicious American meal of fajitas, when a glowing deer landed in front of them. “Albus,” said Severus’s voice. “Please get to Headquarters immediately. Potter is in trouble. I think he’s gone to the Ministry.” Dumbledore immediately stood up and nodded his good-bye and moved swiftly out of the door.

______________________  


Maerna waited quietly for three days, brewing potions and reading books. She thought about going to investigate but held her impatience in check. On the third day, she was rewarded by an owl. It landed and handed off a copy of the Daily Prophet with a screaming headline-”YOU-KNOW-WHO HAS RETURNED!” Maerna read the entire paper cover to cover twice. Then she sat back and shut her eyes. She thought about what might happened next. She thought about what she already knew. Then she thought about what she shouldn’t know but did. It worried her, more for Severus’s safety than her own.  


It was late, the sun was just about to set when the front door opened. Maerna had long ago forgotten tea and had moved on to elf-made wine. She wasn’t nearly as drunk as she wished she could be. Recognizing her strange mood, he approached the table and sat on the other side, waiting patiently. Maerna studied the ornate goblet in her hand, swirling the last bit of red at the bottom. Finally, she looked up, meeting his intense stare. “I need you to do me a huge favor, Severus.”  


“I’m listening.” His rich baritone resonated around the small kitchen.  


“I didn’t know for one hundred percent which side you were on. I was as unsure as the rest of the world. While I don’t like to be in the dark like that, it’s necessary for your safety. I just had to keep faith that you knew what was right.” Maerna chose her words carefully.  


“But something has changed that. You think you know the truth.” Severus pushed.  


“I heard your patronus to Dumbledore warning about Potter and the Ministry. If the Dark Lord ever heard that. If he ever saw the memory through me. . . .” Maerna trailed off. “Please, Severus. Just make sure I don’t lose faith in you.”  


Severus didn’t say anything. He just pointed his wand and obliviated her for the second time.

 

_________________________

Remus arrived at the cottage two days later. Maerna walked through the wards to greet him and he immediately collapsed in her arms. He didn’t say anything just acted like a zombie for hours just wandering around her house, a bottle in his hand. At one point, he stopped at the side table and reached for more firewhiskey but Maerna cut him off after two. She pulled him downstairs and showed him the Wolfsbane that she has finally perfected. He needed to start it the next day if he wanted it.  


The potion was his trigger. She had made it for him. She had spent months practicing it and finally got it perfect. She was a good friend. What would happen to her? Afterall she was HIS friend. Remus dipped his finger into the scalding potion and barely felt that heat. Then the tears came. With the tears came the story. For hours, Remus talked until he was hoarse: being bitten and his first transformation, being so scared when he boarded the Hogwarts Express for the first time, being accepted and becoming a Marauder, watching his friends become animagus for him, (“Well, that explains Padfoot,” Maerna thought.) Lily’s and James’s deaths, Peter’s murder and Sirius betrayal. By now the tears had long been dried but the story continued. His year as a DADA teacher, learning the truth about Sirius and Peter, Peter’s escape, his rekindling friendship with Padfoot, the hope he and Sirius had when they looked at James’s son and finally Sirius’s death through the veil.  


“I was there, Maerna. I saw it happen. It was like everything was in slow motion and there was nothing I could do about it. Bad things happen to my friends-Lily, James, Sirius. Even Peter’s choices have turned him down an evil path. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t do this. I can’t live anymore.” Remus cried.  


Maerna wrapped her arms around him. “Yes, you can Remus. You’re a bloody Gryffindor and one of the strongest people I know. Look at everything you have faced. Does it hurt like hell? Yes. Will you get through it? Yes, because you are so strong and have friends that will help you. I’m here and I bet Tonks would be there too if you asked her.” He lifted his head, his eyes searching for hope, praying she was correct even though, he, himself, couldn’t comprehend the possibility.  


Finally, he leaned back and closed his eyes. She handed him a dreamless sleep potion and a blanket. He took them meekly. As he swallowed the potion feeling it slide down his throat and begin its own magic, he wished the potion could erase the last two weeks, the last two years, no, the last 15 years of his life.  


It took Maerna almost a week to get Remus up and functioning. Term had long since ended but no Severus and only one owl: 

“Dark Lord wants me to stay at Spinner’s End for a while. Do not come. I have a guest with me.” --S.

The note felt like a punch in the stomach. Although, it seemed innocolus, Maerna couldn’t help but feel that life had gone from bad to worse, much worse.


	17. The Wand Experiment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What is more preferable? Completing the task or death?”  
> “Death”  
> “Is that the easy choice or the right choice?”

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

Something was wrong, very wrong with Severus. Maerna a hadn't seen him in weeks. She didn't know what was happening but instinct told her that Severus was cutting her out of his pain. She prayed about it daily until she felt at peace with her decision. She was going to Spinner's End.  


The floo swallowed her up in a burst of green flame and sent her spiraling into a dark, wooden room. She supposed to be a library only because almost every inch of wall was covered with books. The room had a slight musty smell and gave off the air of neglect although there were signs of life nearby-an open book on the threadbare sofa and three empty wine glasses clustered on a rickety table.  


As Maerna dusted her cloak off, a portion of shelving moved away to reveal a short set of stairs. A pointed nose protruded from the door followed by a short, balding man with mousy colored hair. He immediately leveled a wand at Maerna. Maerna, however, did not take it as threatening but rather posturing. She had never met the man but based on the descriptions by both Severus and Remus, this had to be Wormtail. He really is a rat, she thought and despised him immediately.  


“Wormtail, I assume,” she glared down haughtily. “Are you the guest that Severus mentioned was staying here? Please tell him that Ms. Danazul is here to see him.” Pettigrew seemed rather taken back by her demeanor but nodded his head.  


He disappeared for only a minutes or two when he returned rubbing his silvery right hand. “Please follow me,” he simpered and led her up the stairs and down a dark corridor to a large bedroom. A lone figure sat on the bed with his back to her.  


“I thought I told you not to come here,” he sneered.  


“Yes, you did, but then I remembered something,” she replied nonchalantly.  


He did not speak further rather using the silence to speak for him. “He’s not going to make this easy, is he?” she mused to herself as she circled the bed and then spoke aloud. “I remembered that every time you bark orders. Every time you sneer commands, what you are really trying to do is push me away.” She paused her little lecture and kneeled down to be eye level with him. “I also remembered that I tend to ignore those orders given by you and do whatever the hell I want anyways, so here I am.”  


A fraction of a smile played up on his lips. “You do tend to do that, don’t you. You are, without a doubt, one of the most stubborn woman I have ever met.”  


“Thank you,” she replied softly.  


“Why are you here? His voice was almost a caress.  


“Because you need me to be,” she answered simply. “I don’t know what happened but you are in pain.”  


Severus didn’t answer but dropped his head, hunching his shoulders. The fact he didn’t deny it was confirmation that she spoke the truth.”He’s made a request of me.”  


“A request?” Maerna asked.  


“Of sorts,” the vexed look told her that it was anything but a request. “I don’t know how I can complete it but I have no choice.”  


“Okay, let’s find a way to. . .”  


“Did you listen,” Severus snarled at her. He stood up and twisted to the side, walking away to avoid her touch. “I have no choice. I can’t even tell you what it’s about.”  


Maerna sat quietly on the bed, fingers twisted in her lap. “There’s no way to change his mind?” she ventured.  


Severus snorted. “Definitely not and it wouldn’t matter if there was a way.” He turned back to face her, remorse written all over his face. “I took an Unbreakable Vow. I have to do it.”  


Silence hung in the air as Maerna contemplated the meaning of his words. “What is more preferable? Completing the task or death?”  


“Death”  


“Is that the easy choice or the right choice?” Maerna challenged him.  


His eyes widened in shock as her words sunk in. Finally, his face and postured seemed to relax just a bit. He kneeled down and faced her. “How do you do it? How do you always know what to ask? To make me think about the truth?”  


Maerna just smiled, “I’m here for you, Severus. How can I support you in this?”  


“Nothing. I have to do this on my own.” He started to retreat.  


“Oh no, you don’t,” Maerna grabbed his arm. “You aren’t pushing me away. I don’t need to know the details but know this Severus Tobias Snape, I am here for you. I will support you. I will trust you and I will be praying for you everyday until this ordeal is over.”  


Severus looked at her with such sadness. “You know, I don’t believe in your God. This world is too evil for me to believe such a deity exists, but if by slim chance, he really is there and he wants to watch over me. I’ll take any support I can get.”  


Maerna pulled him into a hug and whispered in his ear. “That’s a first step.”

_____________________________

Holding onto the embrace, Severus slowly lowered her to the bed so that her head rested on his chest. It just felt right, not in a romantic, sexual way but in a friendship, comfortable way. They lay like that for a long time, neither in the mood to converse. Finally, Severus brought up an undesired topic-the consequences of her rash flooing to his house.  


“We have to tell the Dark Lord about your abilities. No doubt, Wormtail will soon inform him that you are able to leave the cottage on your own and that will lead to questions.”  


“Okay,” Maerna just snuggled closer. “It was worth it.”  


Severus grunted in response but continued on. “I’m also going to tell him about your wand dilemma.”  


Maerna picked up her head and looked him, “Why?”  


“Because it is best to be the first one to inform the Dark Lord of new developments. If future plans go as he is devising, he’ll know soon anyways.” Maerna looked at him perplexed but Severus didn’t elaborate. Suddenly, he stiffened and glanced at his left arm. Maerna ripped up his sleeve. The black snake on his arm seemed to pulse and hiss as it wiggled through the skull’s mouth. The vile movement made Maerna nauseous but she refused to show it.  


Severus stood up hastily and yanked open the door. “Wormtail!” he bellowed but no answer came. He turned back to Maerna. “Get ready. You may be coming with me. I have a feeling that Wormtail was faster in his snitching than I anticipated.” Maerna swallowed and grabbed her shoes. “Wormtail!” he called again.  


Just as they reached the front door, it opened to reveal the rat, himself, in his traveling cloak. “Severus,” he leered. “The Dark Lord will want to see you now. I’ve been instructed to bring Ms. Danazul to see him.”  


“You’re a little late, Wormtail. As you can see, Ms. Danazul and I are already on the way. We will meet you there.” He grabbed Maerna’s arm and apparated before Pettigrew could sputter a response.  


As soon as they reappeared, he hissed in Maerna’s ear, “Is the paperwork ready?”  


“Yes,” she said. “It stays on the top of the bookshelf in the basement.” Severus closed his eyes and concentrated. A book of their research appeared in his hands.  


They paused in the doorway waiting for the summoning. Unlike last time, there was almost no one there. They were all arrested at the Department of Mysteries, Maerna realized as she looked aroun. Lord Voldemort paused his discussion with Bellatrix and beckoned them forward. They walked in almost reverently and had just dropped to one knee when Wormtail scurried in red faced and out-of-breath. Lord Voldemort narrowed his eyes on the intruder before he focused again on the couple at his feet. “Severus, Wormtail tells me that you have some interesting news to share.”  


“Indeed I do my, Lord. Although I wish Wormtail would have let me tell the tale instead of attempting to grandstand,” Severus’s eyes shifted briefly to the now kneeling man to his right. “However, that is my fault for not presenting the information to you earlier. My only excuse is unworthy in that I wanted to gain as much understanding as possible before I told you of the enigma.”  


“I assume this has something to do with how Ms. Danazul managed to show up at your house without an escort,” Voldemort hissed.  


“In does indeed, my Lord.” He then launched into his story of her breaking the wards and her uncontrolled magic, similar to a young child. He kept it simple and to the point. It also sounded like the entire story had happened in the last three days rather than the past three months.  


Voldemort interrupted his servant and turned to the young woman. “You broke the wards. Perhaps Severus needs some lessons in protective charms.” Bellatrix snickered from the corner before being silenced with a wave of a wand. “Severus kept you as a prisoner. Did you try to escape?”  


“Once, my Lord,” Maerna kept her eyes downcast. “I didn’t get very far before I realized that what I was most needed back at the cottage. Helping and learning with Severus has become the most important part of my life.”  


“Yes, I’m sure he’s been teaching you a great many things?” Voldemort chuckled with glee. “Perhaps you can demonstrate for me later,” he purred suggestively. Maerna, however, did not respond and his attention quickly turned back toward Snape, “It looks like your little plan is working splendidly, Severus. I congrat you. I, honestly, did not think it would come to fruition.” The muscle in Severus’s twitched once but he kept his face blank. “Did you bring me a present?” The Dark Lord gestured to the book in Severus’s hand.  


“Yes, my Lord. It is a collection of all the knowledge that we have amassed thus far. It, honestly, makes for dry reading though.” Severus’s voice dripped in humility making Bellatrix gag. Voldemort picked it up and flipped through it briefly before turning his attention back. He preferred to gain his information through more invasive means.  


“There is another part of the story that I would like to share, sir. I don’t know what to make of it and I seek your guidance.” After receiving an affirmative nod from his master, Severus told him about his and Dumbledore’s wands’ strange reactions to her.  


Voldemort’s eyes gleamed with interest. He pulled Maerna to her feet and commanded her to look into his eyes. She tried to only think about the wands but he sliced through her mind in a hundred ways like a hundred tiny cuts bleeding her memories out: pushing aside the wards, holding Severus’s wand for the first time, attempting wandless magic. making potions, arguing with Severus about chemistry, walking around the woods, attempting to smash Severus’s brain with a frying pan, Severus putting her in a body bind. She couldn’t stop the memories from flooding around her. Finally, he dropped her and she fell to her knees. Severus didn’t even glance over but kept his face to the ground.  


“It seems you have a . . . volatile relationship.” Lord Voldemort seemed amused “and you are correct, it is an enigma; however, I propose a little test that might enlighten us. Severus, stand up and have your wand ready. Bella stand next to him. Wormtail, at the end. Each of you will, in turn, hand Ms. Daranazul your wand and she will attempt to hex you. This will continues until someone falls.” Bellatrix looked enraged at the suggestion but kept mum as Severus handed Maerna his wand. His face revealed nothing and for a split second, Maerna was angry at him but realizing the futility of that focused on the task. She held his wand aloft and imagined a stinging hex and a blinding pain shot through her hand. She managed to hold onto the wand and hand it back before motioning for Bella’s. Now the raven haired beauty looked much more intrigued and less frightened. Again and again the test was conducted until Maerna’s entire wand arm was blistered from fingers to shoulder with huge flakes of skin falling off. Voldemort would heal just the palm of her hand so she could hold the wand and it would start over. Finally, she stumbled and sank to the ground and Bellatrix clapped in delight.  


Lord Voldemort, however, continued to stare at her arm and Maerna could guess what he was thinking. Why did Dumbledore’s wand damage her so much more and she didn’t even touch it? For the others, she had to attempt to use the wand and then burning was less. He fidgeted with his own wand before beckoning her forward and turned her palm upward. He hovered his wand over her hand but did not release it. No matter how close his wand came to her hand, nothing happened. Angrily, he snatched his wand back. Evidently he didn’t want his wand touching the likes of her.  


“My Lord, with your permission, I’ll send Maerna back to my place with Wormtail. I have another topic I would like to discuss if it’s convenient,” Severus groveled.  


“Wormtail, take Maerna back to Spinner’s End,” Voldemort directed. The last Maerna saw was Severus deep in discussion with the evil wizard. Wormtail made sure that he yanked her out by her scorched arm.

 

___________  


Hours later, Maerna awoke to a soothing potion being applied to her arm. Severus was rubbing it gentle into her skin. He offered her a pain potion which she gratefully accepted. He would not discuss the evening and Maerna realized that it was now taboo.  


Thankfully, he found another topic to focus on. “There are two good silver lining to this entire affair-one from Dumbledore and one from the Dark Lord. The Dark Lord is letting us travel to South America this summer. I convinced him that we needed to find the best Scopolamine and I don’t trust others to harvest it for me. We also have permission to learn anything about your little wand problem.”  


“I get to go?” Maerna was shocked.  


“Yes, he seems to think I have, uuuhhh, good control over you. Little does he know,” Severus snorted. “We leave in about a week. I want to talk to Ollivander before we leave.”  


Maerna struggled to sit up but Severus pushed her back. “What was the second silver lining?”  


“Oh, from Dumbledore,” Severus’s mouth drooped a bit. “Albus is giving me the Defense Against the Dark Arts position this year. I’ve only been asking to teach it for over ten years.”  


“Severus, that’s wonderful,” Maerna congratulated but Severus only grimaced. It seemed to be more of a malevolent millstone than a celebration.  


“Thank you,” he replied, “but I fear I must pay a heavy price to get it.”


	18. An Enlightening Yet Nauseating Trip to the Americas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maerna braved herself to meet her nemesis-a glowing cardboard box. She sat in the waiting room, twitching with nerves. “I can’t decide which I hate more at the moment: wands or portkeys.”

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

Maerna and Severus visited the Ministry to apply for their Magical Visas as well as confirm that, despite testimony from the MACUSA auror, Brent McDermin, Maerna had not been kidnapped by Death Eaters. Since, she appeared no longer in danger from He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’s lot, she was quickly forgotten by the bureaucratic red tape. They had much bigger problems than a unknown woman being mysteriously alive and safe.  
Being a prominent member of the European Potions Guild had its advantages. Snape explained that he and his research assistant were traveling for “discovery and recovery of magical herbs and fungus for experimental potion making” which was closer to the truth than a lie. The very bored looking worker at the Portkey Office of the Magical Transportation Department could obviously care less. Their paperwork was in order and they were scheduled to leave the day after next.

After leaving the Ministry, Severus and Maerna took a short walk to Leaky Cauldron. A few people greeted Severus as they passed through and eyed Maerna with speculation, but Severus introduced her as his research assistant, Maerna, and moved on without fanfare. Inside Diagon Alley, Severus gave her money for a new robe and said he’d meet her later in front of Ollivanders. As she entered Madam Malkin’s, she noted Severus’s reflection in the window. He was heading down Knockturn Alley.

Thankfully, Madam Malkin was not busy this time of year and Maerna had a new robe in her hands with only a short wait. Extra time to spend, she sauntered down to Weasleys’ which had just wrapped up its grand opening. The twins appeared exhausted but excited. As soon as they saw “Meg,” they embraced her with enthusiasm and gave her yet another tour. Maerna surveyed the merchandise. She picked up some Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder and Magical Mustache Miracle Stubble Grow. George wouldn’t give away any trade secrets and she was determined to understand how they worked. 

As she was heading out, she spied the candy section. Her eyes zeroed on a treat that made her stomach twist and she started to tremble. Fred, noticing her drastic change in her appearance, escorted her outside for some fresh air. She thanked him for his kindness and headed down the street. “Those stupid idiots. They are playing with fire,” she seethed. She turned her head around once to see Fred waving good-bye. Next to him a small boy was leaving the shop. One hand held fast to his mother. The other was holding onto a half eaten edible dark mark. 

Maera had regained her composure by the time she met Severus outside the dark and dusty shop. As he opened the door, a tall witch with the most peculiar hat exited the establishment. She thanked him cordially, the stuffed vulture on her head bobbing slightly. Then she called behind her, “Neville, stop admiring your new wand and keep up.” 

A boy on the edge of manhood but still holding onto a bit of his baby face emerged grasping a cherry wand. He stopped suddenly at the sight of Severus. His face blanched, but he took a deep breathe and looked up. “Good day, Professor Snape.” His voice trembled a bit but was loud and clear.

“Longbottom,” Severus sneered and then motioned Maerna into the shop. Maerna looked back at the retreating couple and a memory came to mind-a story that Remus told her once that left her in stitches. The story of a boggart and Severus in a stuffed vulture hat. She chuckled to herself but shook her head when Severus looked at her questioningly.

Mr. Ollivander came out from the back room and smiled when he saw the couple that entered, “Aaaahhh, if it isn’t my customer that hates wands.” He extended his hand out to her.

Maerna gladly shook it, “Actually, I think it’s the other way around. I don’t have any grudge against them.”

“Yes, ummm,” Mr. Ollivander looked a little bashful. “I did some research into your predicament. It’s very strange I must admit. I didn’t find any examples of a wand burning another person when he tried to use it. Not that it’s a good explanation but are you sure, it’s not just a random event?”

“Actually, it has been four different wands, sir.” Maerna said.

“Oh, oh dear, that doesn’t sound random,” the wandmaker muttered. “I did find one reference to magical artifacts burning select people.”

“That’s not that unusual. There are several Dark Artifacts that can do that,” disagreed Severus.

“True,” admitted Ollivander, “but the reference alluded to the fact that it was not typical of these artifacts although it didn’t specify what they were. Many ancient magical cultures were not sophisticated enough to develop wands although they used other means to focus their magic.”

“What culture?”

“The Late Postclassic of Mesoamerica,” said Mr. Ollivander. “Almost 1000 years ago.”

“Well,” said Severus his voice dripping in irony. “It looks like we just added another destination to our trip.”  
______________________________________

 

Maerna had never traveled by portkey. Although she heard it could be an unpleasant experience, she evaluated herself as capable of handling the situation. Afterall, she had experienced side-along apparition dozens of times in her life and never felt queasy once. When the portkey operator discovered it was her first time and they were going half-way around the world, a mischievous smile crossed his face as he handed them the empty water bottle. The bottle glowed blue and she felt an unfamiliar tug at her belly button.

“Go away!” Maerna moaned. Twenty minutes after they landed (well, Maerna tumbled) to the Portkey station of Bogota, Colombia. Even after consuming an anti-nausea potion, Maerna was still holding her head over the toilet. 

“And I thought you were an international traveler, Miss America,” Severus mocked her slightly. 

“Shut up!” growled Maerna as she heaved yet again. Severus didn’t say anything else but reached down and pulled her hair back. Then he calmly handed her a glass of water. Maerna finally leaned back and sipped the water, convinced that her entire breakfast had now abandoned her. ”Next time, we take an airplane,” she announced.

The chemical, Scopolamine, comes from the seeds of the Borrachero tree. The tree grows wildly in the countryside around the capital. Through her research, however, Maerna discovered that the best trees were found closer to the border of Ecuador near the city of Pasto. Severus had hired a local wizard, Domingo, to help guide them and they quickly found some quality trees. Their guide secured them lodging in Pasto while the researchers spent the afternoon exploring the trees.

After an exhausting but fruitful afternoon, the two returned to Pasto and enjoyed a delicious dinner. Severus still wasn’t an culinary adventurer, but tried the new items as Maerna taught him the muggle phrase, “When it Rome. . .”. 

That evening, after almost 24 hours without sleeping, the two stumbled into the hotel to discover not two rooms but one had been assigned to them-one room with one bed. Severus mumbled something about Colombians not understanding what the term research assistant meant and waved his wand transfiguring the bed into two smaller ones. As he drifted off to sleep, the absurdity reminded him of his plan to make Maerna fall in love with him so she would voluntarily work on the potion. He shook his head, glad that plan never evolved. “Not that I would mind the benefits,” he smirked to himself. “She is actually quite beautiful.” So, why hadn’t he tried anything? He realized, with a bit of shock, it was because now he respected her and respected their friendship too much to consider it. “Besides,” he thought as he drifted off to sleep, “There was only one woman I could ever love.” Thoughts of a certain redhead turned into dreams. 

Within 48 hours, the potioneers had harvested more seeds than they could possible use. Their portkey wasn’t scheduled for another 2 days, so the guide began other suggestions for entertainment. Maerna, however, found the best option. She dragged Severus into a “cyber cafe” and began “searching the Internet” as she called it. Her fingers were quick on the keys and Severus realized she was as comfortable around muggle technology as he was awkward. Eventually he began to read over her shoulder and realized what vast amounts of information he could access from this one computer box. “Madam Pince would be furious with this contraption. Her books could become obsolete,” he mused. 

Finally, after 20 minutes of searching, Maerna found what she wanted. “Look,” she jabbed at the screen. “Just over the Ecuadorian border, there is a facility that turns the seeds into pure Scopolamine. They then ship it all over the world for medical purposes. Do you think they would be willing to give two lowly researchers a tour?”

Severus leaned over for a closer look, his breath tickling her ear. “With a few well-placed spells, I think they would welcome us.”

Two days later, with their baggage full of Borrachero leaves, Maerna braved herself to meet her nemesis-a glowing cardboard box. Maerna sat in the waiting room, twitching with nerves. “I can’t decide which I hate more at the moment: wands or portkeys.” 

Severus rolled his eyes at her. “Here, try this.” He waved his wand and summoned a small box. 

“What is it?” she inquired. 

“Scopolamine patches.” Severus said. “You are the one who told me that muggles use them for motion sickness.”

“I did.” Maerna couldn’t recall that conversation. 

“Yes, in The Secondary Effects of Scopolamine and Its Possible Uses and Ethics Thereof,” Severus rattled off the title of her journal article.

“Oh, of course.” Maerna felt stupid for not making that connection. She took the patch, placed is behind her ear and steeled herself for the next portkey trip. 

_____________________________

“That wasn’t so bad,” Maerna tried to boast after their feet hit the ground.

“Really, I’m glad the patch work---” Severus voice trailed off as Maerna ran to the bathroom.

He strolled forward. When he finally found her, he, once again, pulled her hair back and then handed her an anti-nausea potion.

“Don’t bother. It doesn’t work, remember.” Maerna snapped.

“THAT one didn’t work,” Severus argued, “because it was poorly made. THIS one was created by me. I had Albus owl it over yesterday from my stocks at school. Try it.”

Maerna gulped it down and her stomach immediately began to settle. “Thank you. That was thoughtful of you.”

Severus nodded in acknowledgment. “Let me talk to the front desk and determine our next course of action. You stay here and rest.” Maerna nodded weakly and leaned against the wall, afraid to step too far from the wc until she was sure her stomach was settled.

For a week, Severus and Maerna spent their days in the Mexico City Magical Library. Maerna self-dubbed them, “two magical research nerds.” In some ways, Severus admitted only to himself, he was happy here. There were no expectations, no demands on him. He didn’t feel like he was walking a tightrope of life where two opposing forces were constantly trying to pull him off. He felt relaxed and at peace. 

He and Maerna spent dinner every evening in the corner of a cozy, local restaurant, sometimes talking about important things and sometimes not. Finally after days of researching, they came upon some interesting information. Typically, the wizards of the Late Postclassic of Mesoamerica were broken into two groups: Ticitl and Tonalpouhquiticitie, loosely translated as those who practiced light magic and those who practiced the Dark Arts. Most magic was controlled by casting maize kernels and beans as well as seance type rituals. 

It then referred to a legend about taking away one’s magical powers. The daughter of a powerful Ticiti was coming of age and considered very beautiful by the local villagers. Her mother, at once, sat off to arrange a suitable marriage. The daughter, however, was spoilt and narcissistic. Several wizards approached the girl’s mother but they were refused. Finally, an older and more powerful wizard, Huitzilopochtli, came to court. He was wealthy, well-bred and everything that mother could desire; however, his face was scarred and ugly. Although the daughter would have been happy with him, her vanity won and she refused his offer. Enraged, he warned her not to underestimate him, but she did not pay heed. So, he reached into the darkest of magic and bound her powers. She could not complete a single spell. For over 20 years, the girl lived in anger, desiring only retribution for what was cast against her but every time she tried to cast maize kernels or participated in a ritual, burns would appear on her body. It wasn’t until Huitzilopochtli passed away that her powers, slowly, began to return. By then, however, the girl’s body was as scorched and scared as her heart was. 

Silence filled the library as Severus finished reading the short passage. “This scenario fits well with you.“

“I haven’t refused a proposal from a powerful wizard,” Maerna tried to joke.

“No, but I do think your powers were bound at a very young age. Then when the conjurer died, your powers started to return,” Severus explained gently.

Maerna started at him. “You mean my grandmother,” she said harshly. “My grandmother loved me. She showed it every day of her life. Why would she bind my powers?”

“I have no idea,” Severus confessed, “but from what I saw in her house, she did everything she could to protect your identity from the magical world. How much exposure of the magical community did your grandmother give you?” 

“Not much,” Maerna admitted. She was given lots of knowledge about magical concepts but it had all been controlled by her grandmother, she realized. Except for Uncle Brent, she never actually met another witch or wizard until she firmly believed that she was a squib. 

“Something happened that made her afraid to allow your magical abilities to emerge. That emergement did happened but only after she passed away.” 

Severus theorized. Maerna shook her head vigorously, refusing to acknowledge what might have happened. The wizard sighed. “Maerna, I offered before and I don’t blame you for turning me down but I’ll offer again. We can try to retrieve those memories. If it is true, then there is a memory of your forced involvement in a dark ritual binding your powers”

“Maybe,” she whispered, “but not now. Maybe when we get home.” Severus nodded and reached over to squeeze her hand in reassurance.  
For the next two days, Severus searched for a copy of such ritual but to no avail. Maerna was of little help, spending most of her time staring off, but that was fine with Severus. Most of the books that he dared to open were filled with dark magic. He didn’t want her anywhere near them.


	19. First Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore.”
> 
> “Can’t do what?” Maerna was confused. 
> 
> “I just can’t pretend anymore.”

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

The moment Severus and Maerna returned to the cottage, the pair threw themselves into potion brewing. Voldemort would want some headway and might ask for it at any moment. Maerna prepared seeds while Severus gathered the remaining materials. Within a few days, they had their first possible potion but it would need to be tested. Maerna would have enjoyed testing on Death Eaters but knew they would just send her out to find a muggle test subject. So they would have to test on themselves. Severus never made any other suggestion. Whether it was because he didn’t want to harm innocent muggles or because he always used himself as a test subject and never considered another, she wasn’t sure. Whether by luck or hard work, their first trial worked. For about an hour, it was like Severus had the imperius curse on her but more subtle. He didn’t control her actions. (When he told her to jump on the table, she laughed at him and threatened him with a frying pan.) but rather influenced her beliefs. He had her convinced that her 3rd grade teacher, a woman she despised, was the most amazing instructor ever. It was a real breakthrough even but it only lasted an hour.  


The debated how to increase the longevity of the potion continued, for they disagreed greatly. Maerna wanted to change the simmer and clockwise turns thereby increasing the reaction time between several key ingredients. Severus, however, argued that the side effects would be too strong and they should consider a different type of reactive agent. In the end, Maerna won out and drank trial #2. She promptly passed out and began to turn green and convulsing. The wizard shoved a bezoar down her throat and watched her breathing ease.  


Four days later, they tried Severus’s idea. This time, Maerna turned white instead of green and stopped breathing all together. Always the calm demeanor, Severus promptly pushed another bezoar down her throat and waited but nothing happened. Using a medical spell to keep her breathing and her heart beating, he took a deep breath. Severus never panicked and he wouldn’t this time but he still couldn’t stop his heart from beating wildly. The bezoar should have worked. The bezoar was an antidote for every magical component in the potion, but what if the poison didn’t come from a magical component but a chemical one? Perhaps the bezoar had no effect on them.  


Severus quickly vanished any remaining potion from her stomach and administered activated charcoal (which sticks to many muggle poisons not allowing them to be absorbed.) Slowly, Maerna’s heart returned to normal and Severus removed the breathing spell. Still, she didn’t regain consciousness. Methodically, Severus cleaned out her entire system trying to counterattack every part of the potion.  


After twelve hours, her system was completely flushed but she still remained comatose. Severus dropped down next to her and grasped her head in his large hands. He leaned his forward to hers and whispered, “Please wake up, please.”  


Several hours later, Maerna stirred and turned her head. Severus was slumped on a chair fast asleep. His head was resting on her mattress. “Hey,” she croaked. Her throat felt like a thousand flaming needles and her head was spinning like a top. “Hi,” she tried again. She picked up her hand ran her fingers through his hair. The slight touch woke him up with a start. He lifted his head and stared at her. She expected a smile because she was alive but he showed no emotion, just stared at her until she looked away.  


“How do you feel?” he asked.  


“Alive,” Maerna tried to smile, “but it hurts.”  


“What hurts?”  


“Everything. I think even my hair hurts,” she joked but Severus did not seem amused.  


“I would give you a pain potion but with everything your system has been through, I’d rather not,” he said. He gently lifted her head to give a few sips of water and then laid her gently down.  


“That’s okay. I think I’d just like to sleep now.”  


Severus nodded and she closed her eyes.

_____________  


Maerna lay in bed for several days. Sometimes she read or would write in her journal. Mostly she just slept. Occasionally, she tried to talk to Severus about what happened with the trial, but he refuse to discuss it. On the 3rd day, she had the energy to enjoy a long bath and returned to the living room clad in a robe and towel turban. “Hey, I actually feel hungry today. What’s for dinner?” she smiled at Severus. He said little but moved to the kitchen to find some food.  


As Maerna ate her tomato soup, she brought up the topic of the third trial again. “Severus, we need to talk about the trial. What do you think happened?”  


“I know what happened,” he sneered. “You almost died.”  


“I know that,” Maerna emphasized, “but why?”  


Severus opened his mouth to respond and then closed it again. He paced around the room several times before he stopped in front of her. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore.”  


“Can’t do what?” Maerna was confused.  


“I just can’t pretend anymore.” Severus’s voice increased with every word. “ I can’t pretend that the task he gave me is just a simple request. I can’t pretend that, not just my life but my soul is not on the line every day with every decision I have to make. I can’t pretend that your near death experience doesn’t affect me because it does. I can’t watch you die when I know it was my fault!” Severus ended his tirade breathing heavily.  
Maerna just stared at him. Seldom did Severus show any emotion except a sneer. Even rarer was when he lost control because of anger. This time he lost it because of fear. Maerna never thought of Severus as afraid, but it was written across his entire face, across his words. She had never seen him vulnerable before and it scared her, too.  


The more she thought about it, the more she realized that Severus’s fear was dangerous. Fear would keep him from completing his job. She understood little about what he did for Dumbledore and Voldemort but she knew that fear could lead to truth and truth could get a lot of people killed.  


Slowly she approached him like she would a wounded animal. She spoke in a soft voice, coaxing him down from his rant. “Severus, you are the bravest man I have ever met in my life.” She placed one of her hands on his cheek. “I don’t understand everything that is asked of you. I don’t understand all the pressure and strain that is on you, but I do understand my role in this. My role is to be here for you.” She turned his face so ebony eyes met chocolate. “I will never pass judgment on you, no matter what is required of you. I will accept your decisions. If you can’t tell me why, then I will accept that too.”  


“Why?” Severus asked. “Why would you be willing to dedicate so much of yourself to me?”  


“Because God has told me to be here for you. He knows you have hard choices. He knows you have to make horrendous decisions. He knows you need a friend that will be there no matter what. What do you need of me right now?” Maerna was so close that their noses were grazing by each other.  


“I don’t know. There are things that I want to tell you, but. . “ Severus trailed off.  


“It’s too dangerous for me, for you and for others,” Maerna finished for him. “Knowledge is truth and truth is dangerous, so here’s my advice. If you need advice, ask God. He knows the truth already and can guide you.“  


Severus looked like he wanted to argue with her. He wanted to tell her that she was delusional but he was actually second-guessing himself. Her faith was strong. Her faith in her God and in him was so strong that he desperately wanted to believe her.  


His breath hitched as he realized how close they really were. They were now nose-to-nose. Their lips on centimeters away.  


“Severus,” Maerna said breathlessly. “I want you to try to find that memory. I want to know if my grandmother really bound my magic.” She knew the question would stop the moment, but she needed time to breath, time to think, time to understand her own feelings.  


A smile on Severus’s face as he pulled away. “Of course. Thank you for trusting me. Let’s wait a few days until you are stronger.”

_________________  


The weeks flew by. True to his word, Severus worked with Maerna to find the memory. She found the entire experience very strange as he peeled back the memories, like an onion.  


“Sit down. Make sure your are comfortable,” Severus instructed. “Focus on a memory of you and your grandmother. Make sure it’s a strong memory.”  


“Happy or sad?” Maerna asked.  


“It doesn’t matter,” Severus said. “as long as it’s strong enough for me to latch onto.”  


Maerna closed her eyes and began to focus, “Legillimens!” Suddenly, Maerna felt like she was swimming in her memories. They surrounded her. They supported her but at the same time overwhelmed her. “Focus, Maerna. Find your grandmother.”  


“Grandmother, right.” She looked around. There was a memory of her grandmother but it wasn’t strong, just an everyday dress she used to wear. Then she saw one. She swam toward it and reached out for the silvery substance.

There she was in her old kitchen. A birthday cake with a large 6 was alight with candles as several people sang, Happy Birthday to her. Cecilia, her neighbor, set the cake in front of Maerna. The little girl closed her eyes and blew as hard as she could. When she opened them, the lights were gone and everyone was clapping.  


As Cecilia took the cake away, little Maerna tiptoed over to her grandmother and whispered in her ear. “Do you know what I wished for?” She had to whisper because grandmother’s magic was a family secret and people like Cecilia weren’t to know.  


“What, my favorite six year old,” grandmother whispered back.  


“I wished that when I pick up your wand, it would let me do magic instead of hurting me,” Six-year old Maerna excitedly told her grandmother. If she made it a birthday wish, it had to come true but the look of horror on her grandmother’s face made her back away. She knew right then that birthday wishes don’t always come true.  


Severus used this memory to connect to another memory. This one was of Maerna burning her hand on the wand and her grandmother scolding her for picking it up. “Wands are not meant for you, Maerna. We’ll find other things that make you special.” He jumped from memory to memory moving further back until he came to a much younger girl, probably about three or four. She was obviously having a temper tantrum, stomping her foot and her face as red as a tomato. Stomp, stomp, stomp went the little foot over and over until one time she stomped and everything in the room turned purple. The floor, the curtains, the furniture, even the glass in the windows was purple. Little Maerna was so surprised that she forgot about her temper tantrum. “Look, grandma. My favorite color!” she squealed in delight.

Slowly, Severus moved back through her mind one step at a time until her gently closed the door and she opened her eyes. “Is purple still your favorite color?” He asked with a playful smile.  


“No,” said Maerna rubbing her temples. “I went overboard on it. I painted my room purple, would only wear purple clothing. I even tried to dye my hair purple.” Severus scrunched up his nose at that one. “And then one day, I looked around me and decided purple was a really ugly color. I think I was about 10 or 11.”  


“Are you in pain?” Severus looked concerned as she removed her fingers from her head.  


“No, it just felt strange. I’m okay,” she reassured him.  


“Well, at least we know that you did have magical powers when you were younger. That makes it more likely that someone bound your powers.” Severus said.  


“You mean my grandmother,” Maerna said bitterly.  


“Maybe,” he conceded. “She is a logical choice but let’s wait and see. We’ll try to go further another day. For now, you need to rest your mind.” He stood up and kissed the top of her head. Maerna glanced up quickly. He had never done that before, but Severus had already turned his back and was walking away.

 

______________________

It was actually closer to a week before they could try retrieving memories. Severus had been summoned by Voldemort and was gone for three days. The Dark Lord was happy with their progress and was keenly interested in the possible dark magic evoked on Maerna as a child. He suggested some books and Dark Arts topics for Severus to look into. Overall, it would have been considered a successful job at keeping Voldemort happy, but Severus came back morose. As usual, he didn’t want to talk about it, but asked for a hug. Maerna ended up holding him for hours on his bed and finally fell asleep in his arms.  


The second time that Severus tried to retrieve her memory, he started the same as before. Suddenly the memories moved away from her childhood and into her teenage years. He saw her first kiss, her first real boyfriend. Her brain refused to pick another topic and kept sending him into room after room. A high school crush. The first serious relationship from her sophomore year at college. The guy he had seen a picture of in her flat at Oxford when he broke in to look around. He came to the next door and the knob wouldn’t turn. The door was locked. As much as he tried, it would not open, so he retreated back through the rooms until he pulled from her mind entirely.  


“You didn’t want me in that room,” Severus said. “And you used occlumency to stop me from entering.”  


“I did?” Maerna was astounded. “How did I do that?”  


“By building a wall around the memory.” Severus explained. “It’s not the most recommended method because now I know there is an important memory there. I could force it out of you if I wanted. It’s better to adjust the illusion before I get near the memory you don’t want me to see.”  


“But, I didn’t even know I was blocking you,” Maerna protested.  


“Then you have some natural occlumency abilities. Although a wand is, generally, used for legilimency, it isn’t required for occlumency. It might be worth exploring. Now, the memory you are hiding. Is it important to helping us understand your magical binding?”  


“No,” Maerna said, “It has nothing to do with my childhood or my grandmother.”  


Severus nodded. “Then I will not try to enter that room again. Who was the brown haired boy in the red jacket? I saw a picture of him when I was in your apartment.”  


Maerna gave him a sharp look. When had he been in her bedroom apartment in Oxford? “His name is Ben.”  


“Serious?” Severus inquired.  


“No, not really. He was in America. I was here. We knew that a long distance relationship like that probably wouldn’t work, so we kept it light.” Maerna looked at him quizzically. “Why him? You saw several of my boyfriends in those memories, some definitely more serious than Ben. Why ask about him?  


“Because he was the most recent. He’s the one that I might have--” Severus didn’t finish his sentence.  


“He’s the one that you took me away from,” Maerna thought but she didn’t feel bitter about it. Aloud she asked, “What about you? Any significant others?”  


Severus grunted, “not in a long time. When you spend most of your time with hormonal idiots, there isn’t much opportunity.”  


“What about when you were in school? Was there a special girl when you were a student there?” Maerna persisted.  


Severus froze. “There was one, but she was only a good friend. It was never anything else.”  


“You don’t have to answer this, but why didn’t it?” Maerna asked.  


Severus flinched, “because I was an idiot. I thought glory was more important than friendship. By the time, I realized the truth of my actions, it was too late. She died soon after that.”  


Maerna thanked him and left him to his thoughts. Once in her room, she locked the door and threw herself on the bed. Thank goodness, he hadn’t gotten through that door. What was behind it wasn’t a real memory per se. It was the memory of a dream she had had a few weeks prior--a very vivid dream of Severus kissing her. It would have been humiliating, but what would have made it worse. She was sure that his dreams were of kissing another girl

 

__________________


	20. Cycles of History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Those who don’t know history will be condemned to repeat it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. RL has become extremely busy and won't likely slow down with the holiday season. 
> 
> Maerna is starting to consider her own role in the upcoming war and we see more of her friendship with Remus.

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

Severus had left, again. Maerna wandered the house focusing on little. As he packed, Maerna noticed a slight change in him. He seemed almost happier about teaching DADA rather than potions. Maerna commented on it and said that she should scold Dumbledore for not giving him the job earlier but Severus just shook his head.

“He had his reasons,” Severus said cryptically. “Besides, the position has a bad reputation. Many believe that it’s jinxed.” Severus said.

“Jinxed?” Maerna questioned.

Severus nodded. “No one in the last quarter century has been able to keep the job longer than a year.”

Maerna’s jaw dropped. “There has been a different teacher every year for 25 years?”

“Thereabouts,” Severus said.

“What happened to them?” Maerna asked.

“Let’s see of the last five: one was attacked by a herd of centaur and returned to work at the ministry,” he said with a wicked smile on his face.

“That’s Umbridge,” she thought.

“One was locked in a trunk all year while a Death Eater impersonated him in an attempt to use Potter’s blood to resurrect the Dark Lord.”

“And it worked,” Maerna thought bitterly.

“One resigned after he transformed into a werewolf and almost killed three students.”

“Almost killed them!” Maerna interrupted.

Severus nodded. “Yes, Remus Lupin is his name,” he sneered. “Evidently, he thought taking his Wolfsbane that evening wasn’t a priority and he almost killed Harry Potter and two of his friends. I was there and had to protect them.”

Maerna silently questioned him on this one. She knew Remus. He was anything but reckless but she let it pass.

“Another had his memory erased and the last one died when the Dark Lord abandoned him leaving a huge hole in the back of his head.”

Maerna closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, “and why in the world do you want to teach this subject? Where will you be a year from now?”

Severus didn’t answered. A dark cloud passed over his face and she knew the subject was over.

_________________

As September started, Maerna was back in the basement lab, starting over. After their successful first trial, their luck had changed. Severus refused any tests until they understood what was happening. He was right, she knew, so it was back to the drawing board.

In front of her were scrolls of ingredients, their uses, potential side effects, typical interactions with other ingredients, etc. “What is the missing link?” she thought. She took the magical end and began to apply muggle chemical analysis to it, analyzing each ingredient to the molecular level. For weeks, she worked on it until one day, she threw the syrup of hellebore across the room. She needed a break. 

Twenty minutes later, she was in Diagon Alley trying to peruse the shops and enjoying the crisp air of autumn but the quick sojourn made her uneasy. The normally bustling street was practically a ghost town. The ice cream shop was boarded up. Those few customers were scurrying from place to place trying to get home to safety. As she wandered deeper and deeper into the magical corridor, the signs were everywhere. 

Suddenly she stopped. Ollivander’s had been abandoned and the shop was ransacked. Where was Mr. Ollivander? A memory twinged in the back of her mind, a conversation with Severus about her wand problems. Did he know something was going to happen to the wandmaker? For a brief moment, a flash of anger coursed through her. He should have done something to stop it, but then what? What might have happened to him and his position if he intervened.? She calmed her breathing once again appreciating the impossible position that Severus was in everyday.

Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes was open and Maerna wandered around. Neither of the twins was there and the clerk, Verity, left her alone in her thoughts. As she stared at the Wonderwitch products, a poster from her 7th grade history teacher’s wall popped into her head. “Those who don’t know history will be condemned to repeat it.” Isn’t that what was happening here? They were in the midst of repeating the history of 15 years earlier. What happened then? What will happen again that they could prevent? Knowing the past, helps one plan for the future. Maerna needed to know more about the past. 

Before she knew it, she found herself in Flourish and Bott’s history section. She actually found what she was looking for in the clearance section. Quietly, she brought her precious book up to the counter. “Nobody wants that book, now. It’s old news now what with his return,” the clerk tried to make conversation, but Maerna quietly payed and slipped out the door. The Rise and Fall of the He-Who-Must-Not-Be Named: His Plan Had He Survived tucked securely under her arm. 

 

___________________

Maerna spent most of that evening and the next day immersed in the book. She only stopped to work on Remus’s Wolfsbane potion which he was picking up that evening. As she read, Maerna easily saw the parallels between Voldemort’s reign of terror and the Nazi regime of the 1930s and 1940s. “I wonder if Voldemort took a page from Hitler or if all despotic rulers gain power by subjugating a subset of the population through fear and violence,” she mused as she turned a page.  
Maerna was so involved in the book that she didn’t hear a loud voice yelling outside her window. Finally, she pulled from her reverie and ran to the door, “Oh my goodness, Remus, I was so involved in my reading that I didn’t hear you. I hope you haven’t been waiting too long.” 

She slowly pulled him through the wards and he immediately engulfed her in a hug and swung her around. They had been corresponding via owl, but she hadn’t seen him since she put him back together after Sirius’s death. After he set her down, she grabbed his face and gazed deep into his eyes. There was still definite pain there but there was also determination. “How are you doing?” she asked.

Remus shrugged his shoulders. “I’ve been better but it hasn’t been the worse time of my life.”

“No,” thought Maerna as she bit her lip, “But it’s a close second or third.”

“How was your trip to the Americas?” Remus quickly changed the subject and Maerna brightened at the topic.

“Oh, we had a wonderful time. We went down to Colombia and Ecuador and picked some fresh ingredients from the borrachos trees. Then we received a tour of a muggle facility that processes those ingredients. It was interesting to see how we use some of the same ingredients but we how our understanding of their properties and uses are so different.” Maerna knew he wouldn’t ask too many questions. Potions wasn’t his speciality and he usually accepted her expertise in the area. “Then we went up to Mexico and looked around. I learned a little more about my family’s history.”

“You’re family is from Mexico?” Remus interrupted eyeing her blonde hair and pale skin. 

“No, not exactly.” Maerna backtracked. “We were more looking up some information about some ancient magic that might have happened to my family.”

Magical history peaked Remus’s interest. “What type of ancient magic?” he asked.

Maerna hesitated. Should she tell him the truth? She kept so many things from him for Severus’s sake but this was her secret to tell. “Uuummm, I’m not exactly a squib.” Maerna waved her hand toward the sofa and a pillow rose gently into the air.

Remus’s jaw dropped. “And wandless?”

“Yes, it has to be,” Maerna explained about her little wand issue, the ancient text, she and “Stephen” found in Mexico and the possibility of her grandmother binding her powers. 

Remus just stared at her. “I didn’t know such things were possible.”

Maerna shrugged, “I didn’t either until a few weeks ago, but it makes sense.”

“Why would your grandmother do that?” Remus asked.

“I don’t know,” Maerna admitted. “I hope that it wasn’t her that did it but I’m not sure. Stephen is still searching my memories to help me find that answer.”

“Your husband knows legilimency?” Remus’s looked at her sharply. Maerna immediately realized her mistake. Legilimens were rare and there were probably only a handful of those who could retrieve repressed memories. Maerna suddenly remembered the warning that Dumbledore gave her about how Remus and Severus knew each other and how she needed to be very careful when discussing them about each other. “He’s not doing the searching himself,” she quickly lied. “He’s been taking me to St. Mungo’s to see a specialist. It’s actually been really sweet of him.”

Whether Remus really believed her or not, Maerna was unsure but he accepted her answer and changed topics. “You know I see a big difference in your relationship with your husband,” he observed. 

“You’ve never met my husband,” Maerna protested.

“True, but it’s just in the way you talk about him. When I first met you, it was obvious that you two had a strained relationship. He didn’t trust you and kept you practically locked up in the cottage. Now you are international travelers. He’s helping you with your past. He seems much kinder and you seem happier when you talk about him.” Remus said.  
Maerna for thought. “You are a very perceptive man, Remus Lupin and your are right. This summer has been good for our relationship. I’m glad I can depend on him because there are troubling times ahead. May I ask you about a bit of British history?”

“Of course,” Remus said.

“Tell me about the First Wizarding War against the Dark Lord.” Maerna pleaded.

“Wow, um. I never thought of that has history but I guess it is. Why do you want to know?” Remus asked running his hands through his greying hair.. So, Maerna preceded to tell him about her 7th grade history teacher’s quote, the book she bought and what should be done to prepare for the upcoming war. 

If anything, Remus looked amused at her suggestion. “Maerna, you are almost a squib albeit very talented in potions. You can’t hold a job. You have no contacts and little money. What do you plan to do exactly?”

This infuriated Maerna. Her face became red and tense causing Remus’s face to shift from amusement to concern. “Are you saying the magic and money are the only things that matter?,” Maerna’s voice was cold and calculated. “Because I can’t hold a wand, I am worthless? Did it ever occur to you that a person with extensive muggle knowledge might be useful? Where would the Dark Lord’s forces not be looking? In muggle society, sometimes what appears the weakest can be the strongest!” Without hesitation, she grabbed the kitchen knife and threw it toward Remus’s head. It missed his ear by centimeters and embedded itself in the wall directly behind him. 

Remus paled and he swallowed loudly before opening his mouth. “I hope that you weren’t aiming more to the right,” he tried to joke.

“I hit exactly what I meant to hit, Remus Lupin,” Maerna hissed, “because when I know exactly what I want to do and I make sure I do it with success. Now are you going to tell about your experiences from the last war or not?”

“Okay, sure.” Remus bobbed his head and then started from the beginning. He talked for hours about the war, about who died and how, about how muggleborns were targeted and what people did to try to help. Maerna listened with rapt attention making mental notes for the future. 

 

_______________________________

Remus left that evening with the first dose of his Wolfsbane. He paused by the door on his way out. “There are two things I discovered this evening.”

“Oh?” Maerna asked.

“The first is I think I had underestimated you and your abilities. You’ve intrigued me with your discussion about how to help muggleborns. Keep me in the loop. Maybe, I can help.” 

Maerna made a non-committed gesture, “and the second?”

A mischievous grin appeared on Remus’s face. “I’m starting to develop a healthy respect for your husband. I have a feeling you keep him on his toes.”

Maerna returned the grin, “You have no idea, Remus. You have no idea.” Remus departed with a quick hug and apparated just beyond the wards. “It’s a shame that he is so self-deprecating about his lycanthropy.” the woman silently mused. “Tonks knows a good man when she sees one. I just wish Remus saw it too.”

The following day, Maerna, disappeared into Muggle Oxford for the afternoon. She stopped by the bank to see if her account was still active. Surprisingly it was. She knew that Dumbledore had somehow convinced the local police there was no kidnapping. Sick of school, she had just taken off. What was even more surprising what that her monthly checks from her grandmother were still coming into her account? Maerna tried not to think about her grandmother’s death too much but rather preferred to think of her as living far away since that became the norm when she moved to the UK. Seeing the money in her account make her think of her grandmother’s will. Wouldn’t these types of transactions have been frozen her when grandmother died? What happened in America? Did the authorities there even know she existed? Obviously, she would need to do some investigating in the future.

She then stepped up to a familiar apartment building. She had been both looking forward to and dreading this visit. How was she going to apologize to her ex-roommate? She knocked on the door and it opened almost immediately, “Hi, Leilani,” Maerna said rather sheepishly, “Long time, no see.”

Leilani just stared at her. “Maerna is that really you?” The blonde just nodded before being pulled into a huge hug. “What the. . ? How did. . .? Scotland Yard said. . . ?” Leilani went into this long explanation about how Scotland Yard didn’t know anything about the three men that visited her that fateful evening almost eleven months before but they didn’t seem worried about you. She kept getting the runaround from them. “The only thing they would say is that you had taken off. You wanted to go traveling and just left, but that isn’t you, Maerna. It didn’t make sense. What happened?”

Maerna took a big breath and gave her a simple cover story that heavily implied that Maerna had to be in the witness protection program run by the National Crime Agency. She was so sorry that she wasn’t allowed to contact Leilani. “I’m not even supposed to be here now. The Agency will be so mad if they find out, but I need to know if my things are still around?” 

Luckily, Leilani was an awesome roommate. She had put Maerna’s stuff in storage in hopes that the woman would come back. “It’s in a unit just a few blocks from here. Come on, let’s walk over.” Leilani grabbed her keys and coat. So typical of her, she kept up the dialog updating Maerna on ins and outs of the Neurochemistry Department and her new boyfriend. As Maerna listened, she realized how much her world had changed in eleven months. Would she be able to go back to the muggle world? She wasn’t so sure. Soon, the two were at the unit and Leilani was handing her a key. Maerna quickly looked through what was there but didn’t take much. She told Leilani that she would send her a check for the rent and her stuff would be out by the end of the month. 

“Will I ever see you again?” Leilani asked. 

“Maybe, someday,” Maerna said. She gave her friend a hug goodbye and walked away from her Oxford life for the last time. 

_________________________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Those who don’t know history will be condemned to repeat” is attributed to Edmund Burke, 18th century political theorist, philosopher and member of the British Parliament.
> 
> Next chapter: Severus finds the memory when Maerna's powers were bound.


	21. Ignorance is Bliss

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

Severus owled to say that he would be returning home that upcoming weekend to work on retrieving her memories. Maerna danced around the room holding the letter. She was so excited to see him, but she was also worried about the legilimency. She was starting to make plans. Plans that would be dangerous for Severus to know about. “Keep the parts of your life separate,” Maerna reminded herself.

He arrived in the floo just before dinner Friday evening. He came in and brushed the soot off of his black cloak. Maerna was awarded with a quick hug which she repaid with a kiss on his cheek. His smell had changed a bit. Usually, the aroma was laced with the fumes of a potion lab, but all that was gone. A more woodsy smell with a hint of jasmine was all that remained.   
Maerna turned her body inward, snuggling against him, “I missed you,” she mumbled into his cloak. 

“And I, you,” he replied kissing the top of her head but pulling back quickly, 

She glanced up toward his black locks. “Your hair. It looks good, not as oily,” Maerna commented.

“It’s because I’m not stuck looking at adolescent attempts at potion brewing all day. My hair has always been oily but potion fumes wreak havoc even more.” Severus almost sneered. Evidently his hair was a touchy subject.

“Have you tried any muggle shampoos?’ she asked.

“Why would I?” he asked.

“Well, there are literally hundreds of types out there and some are specifically for oily hair,” she explained.

“Buy me some and I’ll try it, okay.” Severus negotiated.

“Deal,” Maerna grinned.

Dinner conversations remained light, mostly Severus’s stories about his students’ antics. He seemed to loathe Gryffindors, particularly ones named Harry Potter, who was “egotistical, self-righteous and was relishing in his new title of “The Chosen One.”

“Do you believe he’s really a threat to The Dark Lord?” Maerna asked over dessert.

“He was when he was 15 months old,” Severus reminded her.

“Was he really? You hear about accidental magic, but for what happened that night to be accidental magic seems highly unlikely,” Maerna concluded. “There had to be something else. Something Harry’s parents did or something that the Dark Lord did wrong, not that I would tell him that.”

Severus put down his fork and closed his eyes. Memories washed over him. Maerna watched a myriad of emotions pass through him: fear, horror, pain, numbness, and finally acceptance. She walked over, leaned against the arm of his chair and began to stroke his hair. At first he stiffened, but then he relaxed.

“You know, I was the one who found them.”

“You were?”

“Yes, I stepped over Potter’s body and moved upstairs. There was Lily beside the crib, eyes wide open in death. Her son was sitting in the crib, reaching through the bars, calling for her.” Severus’s voice choked up. 

Maerna pulled up a chair and held his hands. “So, she was the one, wasn’t she.” Maerna could tell by his reaction.   
This time, Severus really did stiffen and pushed his chair back. “Thank you for dinner. I think I’ll go for a walk now.” he said with a formal tone. Without another word, he stood up and disappeared from the house.

Maerna sat frozen, shocked by his abrupt departure. “Okay, note to self. Don’t ask about Harry Potter’s mother.” Maerna chided herself.

Severus didn’t show up for several hours. Maerna had long since fallen asleep on the couch.The click of the door woke her but she feigned sleep. Severus walked toward her and leaned over. He smelled heavily of Firewhiskey and Maerna realized that his “walk” was probably apparating straight to a pub. He didn’t say a word, but slowly trailed his fingers along her jawline and traced her lips. Then he kissed her head and disappeared into his bedroom.

The next day, he acted like the previous night hadn’t happened. He suggested that they work on the memory after breakfast. She got comfortable on the couch and Severus kneeled next to her. She started with the last memory when she turned everything purple and he took it from there. He walked through her 4th birthday, a trip to the beach, her first day of school, then back to her old house. He wandered around her house as she played with her dolls in her room. He moved to the attic. She had never like that attic of that house. It was always dark and scary. In her memories, the door seemed hazy like it was encased in fog. He tried the door knob but it was locked. “Maerna, this is it,” Severus whispered. “I can feel the dark magic behind this door. I need your help to open it.” 

She was about to answer but realized that he wasn’t actually talking to her. He was talking insider her head. “I don’t know how,” Maerna’s voice quaked. 

“Focus behind the door. What’s behind the door?” he instructed. Maerna focused and the door seemed to dissolve under his touch. He gave her a smile and led her up the stairs. 

Inside was one of the most disturbing things Maerna had ever seen. Candles were lit all around. Strange shapes were drawn on the floor. Maerna stood to the side but she could see her grandmother holding Maerna as a child in the middle of a circle. Her grandmother was chanting in some strange language. Black smoke starting rising from the candles. Then Little Maerna screamed and everything went black.

“Wake up, Maerna. It’s okay. You’re safe. Wake up. I’m here.” Maerna’s eyes fluttered open. She was laying on the couch back on the cottage in England. Severus was cradling her, calling out to her softly. “It’s okay.”

“Severus?” Tears pooled into Maerna’s eyes. “It was her. I was hoping it wasn’t but it was my grandmother. Why did she do that to me? Why did she do that Dark Magic on me? I thought she loved me?” The tears overflowed and Severus pulled her closer.   
Once the sobs turned to sniffles, he pulled back. Her hair had fallen around her face. He carefully pushed it back behind her ear. “I don’t know, Maerna. I don’t know why she did it, but I’m sure she had a damn good reason because from what I have seen, your grandmother loved you very much. She was willing to battle three Death Eaters to protect you. She was willing to sacrifice her life to try to keep you safe. Yes, I think she loved you very much.” He put his hand under her chin and tilted her face up to his “and I promise you, we’ll figure out why.”

Severus stayed with her until the early hours of the morning. Both of them had just drifted off to sleep when Severus bolted up and grabbed his arm. He groaned and reached over to the sleeping woman. “Maerna, Maerna. Wake up, hon.” 

“Hhhhhmmmm,” 

“Maerna, wake up. I’ve been summoned.” Severus said more urgently as he stood up.

This woke up her completely. “At this time of night? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know.” Severus reached for a different black robe from the closet. “It’s probably nothing. Sometimes he calls meetings at strange hours just to show he can. I just didn’t want you to worry when I wasn’t here. Are you going to be okay, alone?”

“Yes, of course,” Maerna replied.

“Are you sure?” Severus asked. “You had a really rough evening.”

“You need me to be strong tonight and so I will be,” she promised.

Severus looked at her for a few moments--a look of wonder on his face. He squeezed her shoulder. “I’ll be back.” Then he summoned a white mask from the closet and left. 

 

_______________________

Four days later, Maerna was waiting impatiently at the door. Where was he? Remus said that he would be here by 1:00. She glared at the clock trying to blame it for her friend’s tardiness-1:45. Just then a distinct pop and a greying figure appeared from thin air and hurried toward her. “Sorry, I’m late.” 

“Are you okay?” Maerna inquired. Remus appeared rattled. He was grimy and disheveled. Although, his clothes had always been worn, his appearance, today, was one of neglect. 

“I’m fine,” he reassured her, but Maerna was skeptical.

Remus sighed. “I can’t explain too much, but I’ve been living among my own kind for a while. They tend not to be as fastidious about daily hygiene.” Remus waved his wand over himself to remove most of the dirt and smell.

“Among your own kind?” Maerna still didn’t understand.

Remus rolled his eyes, “Among werewolves.”

“Oh,” Maerna suddenly realized how little she knew about werewolves. “Do they typically live differently than other humans?”  
Remus smiled wryly, “You do realize that most of the magical community questions our status as human.”

“What!” Maerna was aghast. “What do they call you then?”

“There’s an ongoing debate whether to classify us as beings or beasts.”

Maerna stared at him mouth ajar but opted to change the subject. “I have a proposal for you, Mr. Lupin.”  
“I’m all ears, Mrs. Danazul.” Remus smiled.

“I am in need of some magical transport of both myself and some items for there are too many for me to carry alone. Help me move my things back to the house and I will treat you to a delicious meal at a muggle restaurant where you can educate me further about werewolves. It seems my knowledge is extremely lacking. I don’t want to appear daft, if the Minister of Magic showed up for tea and I was unable to converse basic knowledge about such creatures.”

Remus started to laugh. “Okay, deal but I’m sure Scrimgeour has more important things to do than show up at a random house for tea.”

“Perhaps,” Maerna pretended to be pensive, “but one must be prepared for every contingency.”  
“Yes, one should.” Remus agreed, smothering a smile.

Maerna gave him exact directions and they apperated to the storage facility that Lailani has put her belongings. He shrunk them down for her and returned her and her things to the basement of the cottage where she’d go through them later. Then they decided upon Chinese. Maerna found a small restaurant and they settled into a quiet corner. He taught her all about werewolves and she taught him how to use chopsticks.


	22. Life is Worth More than a Statistics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did you know that over 90% of the Jews in Poland and the Baltic countries were killed during the Holocaust but in Denmark, less than 2% of the Jewish population perished? What is the difference?

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

Dear Ms. Danazul,

I would be glad to meet with you. Please be prepared to come to Hogwarts on Monday evening at 10:00 in the evening. Doby will arrive at the cottage and accompany you. I assure you that Severus will not know of your visit per your request. 

Yours,  
Albus Dumbledore

PS I enjoy Lemon Sherbert

 

Doby arrived promptly at 9:45. Maerna gave him a quick hug and presented him with a Manchester United hat. Once, Maerna explained that football was the “Quidditch of the muggle world,” Doby was delighted and added it atop his head. 

He apparated her straight into Hogwarts in front of a large stone gargoyle. He bade her goodbye and Maerna thanked him for his help. Then he disappeared to the kitchens. Maerna took a moment to look around. The gargoyle was at the end of a long hallway. Tapestries lined the walls interspersed with the occasionally large wooden door or suit or armor. Maerna took a step forward. Which door was she supposed to take? Where was Dumbledore’s office? She was just about to take another step when a deep, scratchy voice said, “Password?” Maerna whirled back around to the large statue. It stared at her a moment and repeated itself, “Password?” 

Maerna smiled, “Lemon Sherbert” and a moving staircase appeared behind the gargoyle.

At the top of the steps, she knocked firmly. The door immediately opened for her. She stepped inside a large circular room with Gothic arches. A large, claw-foot desk which was obvious to be the room’s focal point but it was the perimeter that caught Maerna’s interest the most. Most of the walls were covered with portraits who seemed quite comfortable in their frames and with each other. If the space happened to not have a portrait then a bookshelf resided there. On a spindle-leg table were a variety of curious silver instruments, some of which would occasionally make a quiet noise or let out a puff of smoke. On the other side a large stone basin was against the wall. It seemed to be filled with silvery mercury and reminded Maerna of swimming in her own memories during her first memory retrieval with Severus. 

“It’s good to see you,” Dumbledore’s voice brought her back to the center of the room. He was sitting behind the desk. Across from his was a young man with untamed black hair and glasses. Maerna approached the desk as Dumbledore began introductions. “Harry, I would like you to meet Maerna. Maerna, this is Harry Potter.”

Maerna shook the young man’s hand and appraised him. She knew that Severus couldn’t stand the boy but the rest of the wizarding world seemed to adore him. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Harry. Albus, I can return later if you are still-”

“Nonsense, I have given young Harry here plenty to think about.” Dumbledore winked at Harry. Harry, however, seemed lost in thought. As he exited out of the room, he paused at the little table.

“Yes, Harry? Dumbledore said.

“The ring’s gone” said Harry, looking around, “But I thought you might have the mouth organ or something.”

Dumbledore beamed at him. “Very astute, Harry, but the mouth organ was only ever a mouth organ.” He waved his hand which Harry took as a dismissal.1 Dumbledore’s eyes followed him out the door. Then he turned back to the woman.

“What happened to your hand?” Maerna gestured to the shriveled mess at the end of his arm.

Dumbledore moved his fingers lightly but without pain. It seemed to look worse than it probably felt. “Aaahh, my reflexes, unfortunately, aren’t what they used to be.” His tone suggested the conversation was over but Maerna ignored it.

“When did it happen? It just occurred to me that I haven’t seen you in quite a while-not since the night you left dinner so abruptly, the night of the Battle at the Ministry.”

“Yes, it happened soon after that,” Dumbledore’s voice was light but his eyes pierced through her but Maerna kept pushing. A light bulb had just turned on for her. 

“It’s connected to the condition I saw Severus in when I visited him at Spinner’s End. Isn’t it? He said that he had been selected to complete a task, a task that was sending him into a downward spiral. I assumed the ‘he’ was the Dark Lord, but now I’m not so sure.” 

Dumbledore sighed and walked over to her side of the desk. “Severus said that you are too perceptive for your own good. I see what he means. You do not need to be part of this and if you push further, I shall be forced to take drastic measures.”

“You mean erase my memory,” Maerna said shrewdly. “However, I understand. I’m sorry I was so nosey. I’ll drop it.”

“Thank you,” Dumbledore said. “Now, we shall say no more on the topic except for one last impression I’d like to leave with you. The task that Severus was assigned. I’m not saying if I assigned him the task or if Voldemort did, but when he completes the task, he will need you more than ever. Please be there for him.”

Maerna gave a curt nod. “Of course.”

“Good, now why did you want to meet with me?” Dumbledore as he settled down in the chair next to her.

“Well, sir, what do you know about the muggle war known as World War II and the Nazi regime.” Maerna asked.

Dumbledore’s face darkened. “Quite a bit. It’s interesting if you look back in history, you’ll often see parallels between muggle and wizarding history, particularly when it comes to wars. This was just such a time.”

“Grindelwald,” Maerna reasoned.

“Precisely. However, World War II is a huge topic. Why don’t you give me an overview of what aspect you are thinking about.” So, Maerna began to talk. She started with her revelation about history while in the Weasley’s shop and how this second war would be very similar to the first war against Voldemort. She then compared Voldemort’s ideology against muggleborns and muggles with the Nazis against Jews, Communists and the disabled. 

“Yes, I’ve noticed those comparisons which are not atypical under a dictatorship rule.” Dumbledore commented.

“Did you know that over 90% of the Jews in Poland and the Baltic countries were killed during the Holocaust but in Denmark, less than 2% of the Jewish population perished.2 What is the difference?” Maerna didn’t wait for an answer. “It really complicated, as war always is, but it came down to the Danes knew the horror was coming so they were prepared. They prepared because they cared about their Jewish neighbors.”

Dumbledore smiled “and love saves.”

“Yes, love played an important part. Love of the fellow human being. Regardless of how we are different, love connects us. It’s the fundamental law of my faith.” She leaned in closer. Her eyes blazing with intensity. “Albus, we need to prepare. The time is going to come when he will try to wipe them out. He’ll start with the muggleborns. We need to formulate a plan and gather resources because we know it will happen and we love those that will be afflicted.”

Albus didn’t say a word to her persuasive speech but rather leaned back and examined her. “While I agree with you. I don’t think you are the person to participate in this.”

“Why not?” Maerna demanded, ire rising in her voice but Dumbledore remained calm.

“Do you recall a conversation I had with you last spring when you wanted to befriend Remus Lupin?”

“Yes,” Maerna recited, “You said ‘Severus walks such a thin tightrope. Even the smallest thing could shift his balance and anger Voldemort. You must consider this in everything you do. It’s very likely what you do could reflect on Severus’s position in the Death Eater circle.”

“Exactly,” Albus exclaimed. “I can’t emphasize how important his role is as a double spy. If Voldemort ever got a hint that you were involved.”

“Then he would force everything out of me, this conversation, who else was involved, everything. He would do it in the slowest, most tortured manner possible Then, to top off his retribution, he would make Severus kill me.” Maerna was deadpan in her voice. “I’ve met the man twice and I faced Malfoy every evening for weeks. I have an inkling of what to expect.”

Maerna got up and paced around the room, “Severus would know nothing about this. He is not to be implicated in any way. If it requires my death to keep him safe, then let it be so.”

Albus shook his head. “I don’t think it’s going to be that easy. From the little that I’ve witnessed and heard, you two are close and you tend to wear your emotions on your sleeve. Severus is not an idiot.”

“No, he’s one of the most intelligent men I have ever met,” Maerna admitted. “That is why there is a second component of this plan.”  
“Oh?” inquired Albus.

“Yes, I want you to teach me occlumency.”

 

___________  
Maerna was sure that Dumbledore wasn’t going to agree. He was adamant about protecting Severus, but whether her rationale won or he had that much faith in potential ability to block others from her mind, Dumbledore finally conceded. He, however, did insist that the first part of her plan wasn’t even to be discussed until she was proficient at occlumency. 

It was agreed that Dumbledore would come to her to lessen the likelihood of a Snape encounter. He scheduled their first lesson for All Saints’ Day and handed “some light reading,” over a thousand pages on the theory and instruction of occlumency. Plus Maerna was reading up on the resistance during World War II, and of course, her original potions project for Voldemort, Maerna felt like she was back at her university studies. 

As she read about how people hid Jews and others, ideas began to form in her head. For example, chemists developed a chemical that deaden the guard dogs’ sense of smell. Could something be developed to block the Homenum Revelio spell? How could she use muggle technology to help? The Death Eaters wouldn’t be looking for muggle methods but at the same time, if found, they were easy to conquer. Three things she realized that she would need money, resources and help.

The muggle controlling potion was at a standstill. She would need to complete several chemical analysis but she would need specialized equipment that she didn’t have access to--another problem to tackle. 

Dumbledore appeared the day after Halloween promptly at 8 pm. Maerna had Lemon Sherbert waiting for him which he chuckled about and enjoyed immensely. As they ate, she talked about the second time, Severus attempted to access her memories and how she blocked him without realizing it.  
“Did he ever find the memory you were looking for?” Dumbledore asked. 

Maerna looked up in surprise. “I assumed Severus would have told you about that.:

Dumbledore shook his head no. “Severus is a very private person. He doesn’t reveal much about his personal life and that includes you.”

Maerna scoffed, “I’m not his personal life. I’m a project that the Dark Lord has forced upon him.”

Dumbledore looked up sharply, “Do you really believe that?”

Maerna thought about it. What did she believe of late? “I know it was true when we first met but our relationship has changed so much. I would consider him a good friend and I will always be there for him. I’m not so sure if the feeling is mutual.”

“You know he didn’t want you involved in this project at all,” Dumbledore said. “Oh, he based in on your publishings but he tried to convince Voldemort that he could just use your research. If was Voldemort that insist he bring you back from America.”

Maerna huffed at that idea. “Oh, he may have thought that, but he wouldn’t have gotten half as far as without me.”

Dumbledore nodded, “That’s what Voldemort thought. Hence, you are here. Now shall we get started? This is going to be the same as memory retrieval but different.” Maerna gave him a withering look. “It’s the same,” he further explained in that I’ll be entering your mind the same way but different because instead of trying to help me find something you’ll be blocking me out.”

“Am I trying to block something specific out?” Maerna asked.

“Not yet. For now just empty your mind. Legillimis.” Albus actually gave her warning.

Maerna thought of a smooth blank wall similar to one she had seen in a movie. Dumbledore walked along the wall pushing it in various spots with his hands. Suddenly the wall gave way and huge robotic humans came through the wall their arms out like zombies. Dumbledore pulled out and gave her a moment to recover. 

“Ummmm, it was a movie I saw once--must have made quite an impression on me,” Maerna stammered.

“I saw a muggle movie once. It was very different from that.” Dumbledore commented.

“Well, there are all types,” Maerna said lamely. “What movie did you see?”

“Oh, it was years ago. A friend and I decided to be adventurous and go to the muggle theater. The movie took place in Africa but I don’t recall the name.”

“Out of Africa?” Maerna guessed but Dumbledore shook his head no.

“Zulu?” Maerna said. He said it was long ago and that was made in the 60s, but again, Dumbledore gave a negative nod. 

“It was a love story, in black and white, no color.” Dumbledore said.

Maerna choked a bit, “Casablanca?” she asked tentatively.

“That’s it!” Dumbledore pronounced. “It was the movie to watch that year, if I recall.”

Maerna just shook her head. “You’ve only seen one movie your entire life and that was over fifty years ago!”

“Don’t be so surprised,” Dumbledore admonished. “I bet I have seen more movies than Lucius Malfoy.”

Maerna couldn’t help but grin, “I bet you are right.”

“Now shall we continue?” Dumbledore raised his wand, “Legilimens”

This time, Maerna chose white smoke instead of a blank wall. Dumbledore wandered around but there was nothing to push on. She held it for several minutes, but slowly the white smoke changed to black. Shapes formed. The smoke was coming from several candles that were around the room. Maerna struggled against the memory. This was when her grandmother cursed her. She didn’t want to relive this again but Albus refused to move. “If you don’t want me to see this memory,” Albus said, “Try to change it.” 

Maerna focused on the memory and tried to move beyond it. Slowly the image dissolved. To Maerna’s horror, it evolved into the next memory she had experienced-Severus holding her gently and whispering into her ear that she was okay and he was there. She tried to push that one away too, but Severus wouldn’t move from her mind. It morphed into one of her dreams of him that were rather erotic. 

Gently, Dumbledore moved away and brought her back to reality. Maerna’s face was beet red. “Well,” Dumbledore said cheerfully. “You certainly have an interesting mind. These will be some enlightening lessons, won’t they?” Maerna didn’t respond. She just hid her face behind her hands. 

 

1-Adapted from Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling. Chapter 13, page 278 (American Edition.)  
2-Statistics from the Jewish Virtual Library http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/ (rated M for information about the Holocaust) and The United States Holocaust Memorial Museum https://www.ushmm.org (Rated M for information about the Holocaust)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: When Maerna gets hurt, Severus blames himself.


	23. Burn My Arm, Break My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m already in love with someone else. I have been for over 20 years.” he said.  
> There was a long pause as Maerna tried to collect her thoughts. “You mean Lily Potter.”  
> “Lily Evans, before she got mar-before him.” Severus corrected.

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

Six weeks later, Albus Dumbledore knew Maerna better than she did. He had experienced three of her birthdays, meet two of her ex-boyfriends, celebrated her acceptance to Oxford, and watched Severus kidnap and Voldemort and Malfoy torture her. Slowly she improved, keeping him out more and more as he pushed her harder and harder. He started playing “hide and seek” with her memories. If he was too close to a certain memory, she had to change it before he realized it. It took an enormous amount of concentration and often left Maerna gasping for breath and trembling. 

Twice now she had managed to push back so hard that she entered his mind. The first time she was so startled that lost her concentration. The second time she walked around a bit seeing Severus at school, talking to Harry Potter and then arguing with “the barman at the Hogs Head, my brother,” Albus explained later.

They also worked on her wandless magic. She could now do almost a dozen spells although Maerna questioned the usefulness of some. (She didn’t think any Death Eater would be afraid of the bubbles she could produce.) Dumbledore was delighted with her progress in both areas.

During their last lesson before Christmas break, Maerna presented Albus with a gift. “If you recall the time I accidently delved into your mind, you were talking to Harry Potter,” she explained as she handed of the package. “You were complaining that you never had enough of these. People were always buying you books instead. I wasn’t sure if you were joking or serious, but whether a gag gift or something you really need, here it is.” He seemed a bit perplexed until the wrapping came off--three pairs of wool socks. Then he chuckled for several minutes. 

Two days before Severus was due home for Christmas break, Remus came over for dinner. Maerna wanted to get him a gift too, but he refused citing, “You spent way too much on Wolfsbane ingredients for me as it is.” So, they enjoyed a nice dinner and sang Christmas carols instead.

Severus was due home Saturday morning. Since he was faculty, he had to stay for Slughorn’s Christmas Party the evening before. He was certainly not looking forward to it. As he had written to Maerna several days before the vexing event. “I thought my 7th year would be my last of these ostentatious frivolity and idiotic attempts at Christmas cheer yet here I am again forced to be polite to people I would rather hex.” Maerna thought that he would be relieved to be home but, upon his return, found him in an even fouler mood than she imagined. He refused to talk about it but mumbled about “Malfoy Is an idiotic boy who has always been too cocky for his own good.”

Christmas was barely mentioned as Severus threw them back into potion brewing. He had some new theories he wanted to try. For three days, Maerna felt like she hadn’t slept, Before her eyes, he turned into the dreaded potions professor that she had heard so much about. By the afternoon of the 24th, Maerna dropped into a chair, refusing to move. Severus worked for another hour before he fell onto the sofa next to her. “I apologize for the pace. The Dark Lord suggested that he wanted an update at Christmas time and I’d like to be prepared when the inevitable demand comes.”

“Well, he isn’t going to be happy. We’ve proven a lot of things that don’t work but very little that does. I need access into a muggle lab.” Maerna said. “There are some tests that I know I can do there that I have no idea how to do through magic.”

Severus turned to her, “What kind of tests?” Maerna described what she was looking for. Severus looked amazed. “I don’t think there a magical way to do those. Perhaps we could invent a spell that did that but-”

“It might take months or years just to create the spells,“ Maerna finished. “Well, then we’ll have to find a muggle lab.”

“How much time would you need in the lab?” Severus asked.

“I don’t know, minimum of a few days,” Maerna said.

“Where are they located?” Severus asked.

“Oh, there are a couple across the country, most at universities and large manufacturing corporations. Why?”

“Get me a list of where they are and I’ll get you into one,” Severus declared.

“How?” she asked.

Severus smiled. “Easy, I’m a wizard. ”

That evening, just as the first snow began to fall, Severus pulled her outside. “Are you ready to decorate?” he asked softly. 

“Doby isn’t here to help us, this year.” Maerna reminded him.

“I think we can figure it out.” Severus said. Together they decorated. Severus used his wand to make lights along the house and on the porch. Maerna created different colored bubbles in the trees which Severus made glow iridescent. He added her nativity and a replica of a small wizarding town at Christmas. As a finale, Severu added the music and they stepped back to look at their creation and Maerna began shivering. “As good as last year,” he asked as he slid his arm around her to keep her warm.

“No,” Maerna replied, “It’s better. Thank you.” She look up at him a shy smile forming on her lips. 

Severus looked down, a look in his eyes that Maerna couldn’t decipher. He reached down and stroked her cheek gently. 

“Maerna, you’ve become so important to me these last few months. I cherish them so much. I-” Severus stopped suddenly and grabbed his forearm grunting. “I-, I-,” he tried to continue.

“Severus, go. We’ll talk later. This is not a conversation for now.” Maerna urged. He looked like he wanted to argue but nodded his head and walked back into the house. He returned within a minute in different robes, discretely tucking his mask away.” Maerna moved toward him, but he held up his hand. She could tell from his face that he was already taking on the role required of him and was gone in an instant. Maerna spent a few minutes outside admiring the lights and enjoying the peace. She prayed for Severus, hoping tonight would be an easy meeting. 

The cold has already claimed her fingers and toes and was moving up her body when the distinct pop came from behind her. 

“That was fast,” Maerna began to feel relief until she saw his face. 

“He wants to see you.” Severus said harshly.

“Why?” Maerna choked out.

“Presumably to explain why his potion is not on track,” Severus spit out. “Are you ready to go?”

“No,” she said honestly, “but let’s just get it over with.” She steeled her shoulders with deep inner resolve and tried to give Severus a reassuring smile. Severus nodded and pulled them into apparition.

_______________________

They were in the same room, in the same house as the last two times. Saying a short prayer as they entered the room, Maerna walked herself up to the dias and kneeled. Severus kneeled down next to her and she was so thankful. She could do this, she told herself, as long as he was there.

Far from the twinkling fairy lights of Christmas they had left behind, this room was lit only by the shadowy cold light of numerous black candle nubs embedded into the tops of darkened skulls. Scattered around the room several death eaters knelt. Their fear was as readable as as a child’s primer. Here were not the scents of cinnamon and pine. Instead her nose was assaulted by molten sulfur and the rancid smell of pure evil. Maerna swallowed hard and tried to focus not on her vomitous surroundings but on the job ahead.

Voldemort didn’t bother with polite introductions. He pointed his wand at her and sneered with pleasure. At once she arched forward and slammed into the floor immediately writhing in agony. “Well, I see a shield spell is not one that not one you have mastered wandlessly,” the demon wizard sneered and Maerna attempted to pull herself back to a kneeling position.

“No, sir,” Maerna said forcing a dazzling smile, “but thank you for the suggestion. I’ll work on that one.”

“Aaahh, still cheeky I see.” Voldemort said, “It seems that Severus hasn’t managed to beat that out of you yet.”

“No, sir, and I would prefer if you didn’t give him any ideas. I rather like my spunk. It helps me deal with his persistently dour moods.” Maerna said.

Voldemort laughed, “Yes, he has never been one for exuberance has he. Not like my Bella, here.” Voldemort gestured vaguely to the woman at his right. She leaned in with joy of being recognized, but he pushed her away, keeping his eyes on Maerna. 

Almost languishly he stood up and crossed over to her. He pulled her chin up so he could look into her eyes, “so beautiful,” he cooed, “as fair as Bella is dark. Bella can be quite the animal when aroused. I wonder what you would be like.” He slowly traced her collarbone and dipped his hand around her breast. “Should I ask Severus? Perhaps he knows.”

Voldemort waited a moment obviously expecting an answer. Then he shrugged to tell his cohorts that it didn’t really matter. Maerna looked at him carefully with the corner of her eye.“I apologize for my rudeness, sir, but I am not a kiss and tell type of girl.” Maerna answered carefully hoping that another cheeky answer wouldn’t land her in his bed.

“Mmmmm, Perhaps another time. We have business to discuss today but first I would like to see your wandless magic. What have you accomplished?”

Maerna accioed a few things around the room. She used Silencio and Finestra. Then she conjured up a blue flame in her hand and put Bellatrix in a body bind, to Voldemort’s amusement and Bellatrix’s displeasure. Like Dumbledore Voldemort was impressed. “It is definitely too bad I can’t get a wand in your hand. You would be a formative witch.” 

“Severus told me about your research in Mexico and subsequent memory retrieval. I would like to see that memory.” Voldemort said as he grabbed her chin once more so snake-eyes met brown. Maerna tried to focus on the memory itself so, hopefully, the Dark Lord wouldn’t go wandering about in her mind. After he viewed it several times, Voldemort seemed to be in a better mood. Watching a woman do Dark Magic on her own granddaughter was obviously his idea of entertainment. 

“Are you still having your little wand problem?” he asked.

“Honestly, I don’t know, sir.” Maerna said truthfully. “Using wands is not an enjoyable activity and I try to avoid it as much as possible.”

“I can understand that,” Voldemort said, “but you must also understand that as much as you hate it, I find it entertaining. Severus, your wand.” Silently, Severus handed over his wand to Maerna. “Now, attack Severus,” he commanded. 

Inwardly, Maerna sighed. At least Severus doesn’t have anything to worry about, but his wand will hate me even more for trying this. She turned to Severus and said “Stupefy!” Maerna’s jaw dropped as red flames shot out of the wand and connected with Severus’s chest. He stumbled back a few steps. Maerna missed the shock on his face because she had dropped his wand and doubled over in pain, clutching her right side. 

Voldemort walked over to her and vanished the sleeve of her robe. Her hand was blackened and resembled a pile of burned bacon. The injury improved the further it went up her arm but her shoulder was still blistering where is peeked out from under her shirt. “Now that is interesting,” Voldemort said softly, “There seems to be an improvement. It seems your grandmother’s magic is wearing off.”

“Or getting worse,” Maerna thought as she handed Severus back his wand. He grabbed hold of it but didn’t move for a brief moment. Finally, he slowly pulled away from her. As he did, she could feel her arm numb and the pain recede to the point she could ignore it. She glanced up hoping her eyes told him her thanks.

Voldemort seemed to have missed the little exchange for he was already demanding information about their portions work. Maerna began to explain but he grew impatient and grabbed her chin again. Again, Maerna made sure he only saw potions work, either by herself or with Severus. He saw the frustration, the complexity of the work and the two times she was poisoned. He reviewed several of their conversations over a cauldron and finally finished with discussion just that evening about using a muggle lab.

Voldemort growled in frustration but did not vent his anger. “Keep at it. Don’t disappoint me, Severus” he said and stalked out the door. 

Severus tried to help her to the apparition point but she waved him away. Bellatrix wasn’t going to see her weaken. Once they got there, Severus gently grabbed her uninjured arm and pulled them away.

______________

Severus didn’t take her home, but straight to St. Mungo’s. She wasn’t sure what story he told them and she didn’t really care at that point. Severus’s antipain spell was wearing off quickly. Her last memory was of Severus holding her good hand while they poured a dreamless sleep potion down her throat.

St. Mungo’s released her two days later with strict instructions and the directions for three different potions. Her arm was saved but very tender and would need additional care. She suspected that they wouldn’t have normally let her go, but Severus was extremely persuasive.

Once home, he quickly put her to bed and began making the potions. Two she had to drink and one was to be lathered on her arm. Severus was an attentive healer. Two days later, she was definitely on the road to recovery.

Despite the good news, Maerna was falling apart on the inside. Ever since the summons, Severus hadn’t said more than three sentences to her.

The next day, they apperated over to Cambridge’s neuroscience center. It was winter break and only a few diehards were in the building. Severus must have done some magical prework because no one seemed surprised or upset that they were using the lab’s equipment. Severus said little except in reference to their project and they worked steadily for the next five days.

The day before he was to return to Hogwarts, Maerna had had enough and approached him about their conversation on Christmas Eve. He gave her the saddest look but pulled her into a hug. She laid her head on his chest and wrapped her hands around his waist but he gently pulled away.

“Part of me wants to take this further but I can’t. It’s not fair to you.” Severus said. 

“Not fair to me?” Maerna questioned. 

Severus stared at her harshly and then tried to drop an emotional bombshell. “I’m already in love with someone else. I have been for over twenty years.” he said.

There was a long pause as Maerna tried to collect her thoughts. “You mean Lily Potter.”

“Lily Evans, before she got mar-before him.” Severus corrected.

Maerna crossed her arms as she faced him. “Is this really about Lily Evans?” she challenged him “or is it about what the Dark Lord did to me. I’ve already told you. I do not and never will blame you for anything that goes on in that room.” 

Severus winced at the memory but refused to budge. “I love Lily. I will always love Lily. You are wasting your time,” he said as harshly as he could.

Maerna blanched at his openness but held her stand. “Severus, I can’t fight her. You have her so high up on a pedestal that no one would come close. If that is the way you want to live your life, then that’s your decision, but I ask you to reconsider. No one expects you to stop loving her. I bet that even in the heart of Severus Snape, there is room for two women if you allowed it. I think this is more that you are scared and you don’t want to admit it.” She glared at him but his expression told her that he wouldn’t change his mind. She walked over and kissed his cheek. “I made a promise to God and to you. I intend to keep it. I’m here with you until the end. I’ll always be your friend. Goodnight, Severus.” She turned and walked away.

He left an hour later without saying good-bye. Maerna threw herself on her bed and cried and cried until the tears would no longer come.


	24. A Chapter to Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This doesn’t look like Quebec.” Maerna warned him.
> 
> “Oh yes,” Albus smiled a bit sheepishly, “Well, you can’t remember anything from the trip and that includes the destination.”
> 
> “We’re not in Canada,” Maerna realized. “We’re in Mexico City.”

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

January 15, 1997

Dear Severus,  
You may already be aware of this but in case your relationship with Dumbledore is typical of men in that it consists of grunts and little real communication, I thought I should inform you too. Albus has asked me to accompany him on a trip to Canada. He’s doing some research and wanted someone who was comfortable with both muggle and American ways to accompany him. We should only be gone for three or four days and leave tomorrow. Albus said that he would stop by your office and pick up some of your famous anti-nausea potion for me. My stomach and I both thank you in advance for it.  
I also wanted to take the opportunity to give you a birthday present. I apologize for its tardiness. I wasn’t sure if you would accept it from me. Actually I’m still not sure, but here it is.   
I would like to make a proposal. Perhaps we both pushed our friendship in a direction that it wasn’t ready to go. It probably isn’t too surprising given the amount of time we’ve spent together. I would like to propose a back track. Perhaps not too far back unless you want to be reacquainted with a frying pan, but to that point where friendship was our main focus and got us through perilous times.   
Best of luck in this term.

Sincerely,  
Maerna

_________________

Maerna hadn’t put some important parts of the trip in the letter because it was too dangerous to put in writing. Albus had approached her almost as soon as Severus had left about a possible trip to Canada. He wouldn’t say too much only that it was to learn things that might bring an end to Voldemort. Because of the secrecy of the trip and Voldemort’s tendency to invade her mind, her entire memory of the trip would be erased when they returned.

“So I won’t remember any of it?” Maerna clarified with him.

“Well, we’ll make sure you remember you took a trip to Canada so that will account for the missing days and that you agreed that I could erase your memory of it.” Dumbledore explained.

Maerna took a moment to digest that. “This is going to be strange, At least I won’t remember the nausea” she said. “I do have one favor to ask of you. May I stay on the continent for a few days once you are ready to leave. Oh yes, I would like to remember those last few days, too.”

Albus looked at her curiously. “Of course, may I ask why?”

Maerna told him about her grandmother’s will and how MACUSA and the muggle authorities were giving her the runaround because they had her labeled as a runaway, a fraud or already dead. “If I actually show up at the office, I might get some straight answers.” 

Albus agreed and they set a date. As he was getting ready to leave, Maerna asked, “oh, do you know how to pack? Can you look dress like a nomaj? Wizards in America really try to blend in” Albus simply laughed. 

 

_____________________________________

Maerna yanked the cork out of the potion and gulped it down. Then she grabbed onto the glowing blue shoe, nodded to Albus and held her breath as it pulled her across the ocean. She landed with a thump and immediately clutched at her stomach only to find the queasiness not nearly as bad as anticipated. Albus immediately grabbed hold of her having heard the stories of his travel partner’s previous trips, but she waved him away. “Thank goodness, Severus is an amazing potioneer. It worked,” she said with a smile.

As she straightened up and looked around, she immediately realized that something was wrong. Most of the people in the room had darker hair and bronze skin. All of the signs were in Spanish. Plus she had been in this room before. She had run right over to those bathrooms around the corner when she arrived from Colombia.

“Uuuuhh, Albus, this doesn’t look like Quebec.” Maerna warned him.

“Oh yes,” Albus smiled a bit sheepishly, “Well, you can’t remember anything from the trip and that includes the destination.”

“We’re not in Canada,” Maerna realized. “We’re in Mexico City.”

Albus checked them into the same wizarding hotel that she and Severus had stayed at and asked her to be ready for their first adventure in 15 minutes. Several minutes later, he knocked on her hotel room door and a rather annoyed Maerna was glaring back at him.

“What’s wrong?” Albus asked.

Maerna marched over to her luggage. “This is what is wrong,” she said viciously pointing. She then stared at his ensemble of light weight purple striped pants and breezy orange shirt. “Your dress as a nomaj maybe questionable but at least it’s conducive for the weather. I packed wool sweaters, hats and gloves.”

Albus chuckled and began transforming her clothing. The winter hat became a sun hat and the sweaters turned to cotton with short sleeves. She made him change the style of a few things. “Absolutely not. No nomaj would wear that.” Finally, Maerna slipped on a pair of red sunglasses and pronounced herself ready.

__________________________

Maerna quickly realized that this trip to Mexico would be very different from the first. Severus and she had spent most of their time, cloistered away in the magical library whereas Dumbledore was hiking through every imaginable place...city streets, deserts, rainforests, and even prehistory looking places. He wouldn’t explain exactly what he was looking for but he had a list of places and it was Maerna’s job to get them through any potential muggle entanglements. He wanted to use as little magic as possible because “one never knows how much the local magical authorities were paying attention” and he wanted their reconnaissance to go unnoticed if possible. 

“Thank goodness for high school Spanish,” she thought as she exchanged British pounds for Mexican pesos and acquired a map of the National Park. They spent most of the day hiking around the caves of that region “searching for magic” he explained. Hours later they returned to the hotel. Obviously Dumbledore was disappointed. The tip of his beard somehow managed to reflect his gloomy mindset.

Next it was an old mineshaft, long since used up, forgotten, and completely boarded up. They were poking around the entrance when a policeman drove them off, so Maerna returned soon after and gifted the delighted police chief with a gift of a bag of gold. The man was more than willing to ignore the old mine shaft for a few days and rework the policeman’s beat. Unfortunately, it was for nought.

The final destination on Dumbledore’s list was was deep inside a Mexican military base. He and Maerna surveyed a map to discuss options. “It’s in the middle of a bombing range, an active one. I don’t think bribery is going to work for this one.” Maerna explained.

“What’s a bombing range?”quizzed Dumbledore, pulling at his beard and scratching his arm from the mosquito bites he had been gifted with by the Mexican nature.

“It’s a place to practice war, a place to safely use explosives and other artillery.” Maerna explained. “You are looking for signs of where the Dark Lord was, correct? Why would he want to be here?”

Dumbledore hesitated. “I’m looking for signs of where he was 30-40 years ago. What was this place then?”

“Probably a forest in the middle of nowhere, that no one would go to,” said Maerna. 

“Then let’s give it a try. That sounds like a place for magic to me” Dumbledore declared. He pushed back the sleeves of his   
robe, remove his wand from its resting location, and was set for the tasks ahead.

As had become custom at this time, Maerna stepped back and allowed Dumbledore to work. Sometimes he waved his wand in complicated maneuvers. Sometimes he would just stop and listen or feel the wind. He slowly but steadily pulled them deeper and deeper into the forest until at last he stopped in a small clearing. Most of the trees around it were gnarled and twisted into grotesque shapes like a force had been pushing on them. The air reeked of decay and death. Maerna realized that she couldn’t hear a single chirp of a bird. “This is the place,” he said with conviction. Take a deep breath and focus. Can you feel the magic?”

Maerna closed her eyes and reached out. “It feels evil.”

“Yes, it does,” agreed Dumbledore “I think he visited her but I don’t think it’s the work of Tom.”

“Tom?” she asked.

“You didn’t think his mother named him Voldemort, did you,” Albus raised in eyebrow.

Maerna considered Dumbledore’s statement and chuckled, “I guess not. Not even his mother would do that.”

“No, this magic is much older than Tom.” he said.

“How old?” she asked.

“Centuries, perhaps more.” Dumbledore said as he continued to move around the clearing looking for remnants of magic and signs of its origin. Occasionally he paused to check out a rock, tree branch or other possible source of ancient magic.

Maerna took another deep breath and listened to the air around them. A rush of feelings and noises seemed to be waiting for her. “This was a ritual site for for some Tonalpouhquiticitie. Wasn’t it?”

Dumbledore looked up from his musings and stared at her in surprised, “Why do you say that?”

“I know, the Dark Lord was very interested in their work. He discussed our findings with Severus when we returned from Mexico. When he raided my mind and found the memory of my grandmother and I in our attic, he watched it several times while she performed the Tonalpouhquiticitine magic binding ritual on me. I thought it was just his sadistic pleasure of watching me scream, but now I’m wondering if it was more academic.” Maerna said.

Dumbledore studied her for a long moment. He looked as if there was much he wanted to say but only remarked,“Very astute, as always, Maerna.” 

As he searched, Maerna wandered over to the edge of the clearing, her hands touching the trees almost as if she was trying to communicate with them. She moved toward to a bare patch of ground. It looked as if it has been covered at one point by a large object but now the grass just refused to grow there. “This spot was the altar. There’s a lot of pain and death here.”

Maerna reached out to the empty space. The air seemed to shimmer in the haze. She glanced up to ask Dumbledore a question, but he wasn’t the one staring back at her. There was a man, clad in little clothing with so much black and red paint on his face, it seemed almost theatrical but was really quite frightful. The man seemed to be looking through Maerna instead of at her. She spun around to face a field of horror. Blood saturated the dirt. The remains of several people lay at the bottom of the altar, their necks and chests sliced open. Several men were kneeling in front of the altar, moving their arms in strange ways, absorbed into an eerie chant. 

Maerna’s heart raced as she observed the ritual. She was still in the same meadow, but this was all wrong This happened centuries ago. The man behind the stone slab raised his voice above the others’ kadence. Maerna whirled back around to see him raise a stone knife, dripping in blood over his head. He thrust it downward toward her. Maerna closed her eyes and screamed as an arm wrapped around her bicep.

“Maerna, are you okay? What happened?” Dumbledore asked worriedly. 

She opened her eyes. The painted man was gone, as was the altar, the bodies and the blood. It was just she and Dumbledore in the middle of a meadow. Far off in the distance a lone bird tweeted and a small breeze brushed past her ear. Maerna could not explain. Nausea overwhelmed her and she dropped to her knees retching. Dumbledore conjured her some water and then grabbed her chin gently but firmly. He held her gaze as he pushed into her mind. Maerna didn’t fight it. She didn’t think she could explain the experience in words.

“You have one of the strongest abilities to detect magic that I have ever seen. You weren’t actually there but you could sense the echo of the ritual. It is a useful skill but be careful with it, ” Dumbledore explained calmly. “Come on, let’s get out of here. 

You’ve had enough for today and there is nothing here of Voldemort.” Her helped Maerna do her feet and pulled her in to apparate. Maerna was glad to leave. This was the place of nightmares.

 

_______________________  
They returned to the hotel, late and hungry. Maerna suggested to Dumbledore the restaurant that she and Severus had found on her previous trip and promptly marked as their favorite. However, as they entered, she guided him over to a different table. She didn’t want to think about the memories of that corner table where the dark haired wizard still sat in her memory. As they sat down, Maerna stretched out her hand and whispered, “Muffliato.”

“What was that spell?” Albus inquired as he began to study the menu.

“It fills the ears of anybody nearby with a buzzing sound--great for avoiding eavesdroppers.” Maerna explained as she grabbed a menu.

Albus chuckled. “115 years old and I still learn new things. I’ve never heard of that one but it seems useful.”

“Oh, it is a Severus Snape speciality. He created it as a teenager.” Maerna said, keeping her eyes lowered on the menu so Dumbledore would not see the slight pink rising on her cheeks.

“Ah, yes, Severus has always had a knack for originality and for spellwork. I imagined he’s created more than one,” Albus said.

“Oh, he has,” she confirmed, “but he told me that there was no way in hell that I was learning some of them.”

Albus nodded, “Also, knowing Severus that isn’t surprising. He is a secretive man and also very protective of you.”

The waitress arrived at their table. Maerna undid the spell while they placed their orders and then recast it.

“Maerna, I must say I’m very impressed with your ability to detect magic,” Albus complimented her as he cleaned off his spectacles .

Maerna just shrugged. “I’ve always been good with seeing the magic. It’s only recently that I could manipulate it.”

“Still,” he continued, “if we can figure out how to get a wand in your hand, you would be a very formidable witch.”

Maerna paused, looked at her wand hand, and then said quietly, “The Dark Lord said the same thing.”

“Well,” Albus said smiling gently at her, “Tom is a very intelligent man and he knows a powerful witch when he see one. Be careful.” 

Maerna nodded and then changed the subject, “I’m sorry that you didn’t find what you were looking for. Maybe I can help give you ideas of where to search if you give me more information.”

Dumbledore hesitated, so Maerna jumped in. “I’m going to forget my advice anyways.”

He smiled sadly, “I know and I’m sorry about that. I’m just trying to protect others. I’m looking for special magical artifacts of Voldemort. I don’t know how many there are but I’m sure there are more out there.”

“Have you found any yet?” Maerna asked her eyes inquisitive.

“Yes, two,” he said.

“And where did you find them?” Maerna asked.

“One was hidden in the childhood home of his mother. The other was given to a Death Eater for safe keeping.” Albus said.

“Hmmm, Have you tried the childhood home of his father?” Maerna continued.

“Yes, but I didn’t think it would be there.” Albus said. “His father was a muggle who abandoned his mother so he despised everything about him. His mother died shortly after his birth and he lived in a muggle orphanage until he came to Hogwarts.”

“The Death Eater who was entrusted with the object. I assume that he was in Voldemort’s inner circle.” Maerna said.

“He was one of his top lieutenants before he fell,” Albus explained. “He is also very wealthy and was well admired in the wizarding world, particularly by our previous prime minister. You were a guest in his home for a short while.” 

Maerna had a brief flashback to her time at the Malfoy mansion. She made a face and shuddered with distaste. “Let’s hope he stays in Azkaban where he belongs. So, we are looking for two places, they both have to do with magic, and are well known to   
Voldemort.” She grabbed a corn chip and jabbed with disgust into the waiting dip

“Yes, but that doesn’t narrow it down too well. Does it?” he said.

“True,” she admitted, “But both must be magical places or people he wanted to be associated with. A place he admired. I’m sure he admired Lucius’s Manor House for the wealth and power that it represents and he admired his mother’s home because that the lineage his magic comes from.”

“All true.” She wasn’t saying anything that Dumbledore hadn’t concluded already. 

“What about a place at the orphanage?” Maerna asked as she reached for another chip.

“He despised the orphanage. It represents everything he hated. Besides it was torn down years ago.” he replied.

“No, not the orphanage, itself but a special place associated with the orphanage.” Maerna said. “My Uncle Brent is a muggleborn. Before someone from the magical community came to explain everything to him, he was very confused. He knew he was different and people treated him poorly when he would accidently do strange things. He created a special place, deep in the woods near his house. He called it his safe haven. There he could do magic and no one would be critical of him.”

Dumbledore looked pensive. “Tom was able to control his magic before he even started Hogwarts. I can see him creating a place that he could lord over and use his magic without restraint. The question is where?”

Maerna shrugged and smiled at her companion. “Don’t look at me. After tomorrow, I won’t even remember this conversation.”


	25. The American Uncle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uncle Brent flashed his American Auror badge at them. “You sir, need to come with us.” He pointed to Dumbledore.
> 
> “Am I under arrest?” Dumbledore seemed amused at the idea.

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

Albus Dumbledore insisted on getting her settled in America before he took a portkey back to the UK. “and erasing my memories,” she thought resentfully. They stepped into the International Portkey Terminal and found a quiet seat. Dumbledore smiled at her and whispered, “Thank you for all your help. Maybe someday I will be able to tell you about our adventure .“ It only took Dumbledore a minute to erase the last three days.

Once Maerna’s eyes cleared up, Dumbledore checked her over. “How do you feel?”

“Fine,” she said as she looked around. “Where are we?”

“New York City,” Dumbledore replied. “We just arrived via portkey a few minute ago.”

“And I don’t even feel queasy,” Maerna celebrated. “I must have taken Severus’s potion before we left Canada.”

Dumbledore confirmed this and helped her stand up. “Do you want me to get you to your grandmother’s house,” he asked.

“No, but thank you. I have to check the Department of Wills and Trust here at MACUSA before I travel to Virginia. I have my muggle passport and my NOMID so I can floo anywhere.” Maerna reminded him.

“NOMID?” Dumbledore questioned. 

“It stands for Nomaj Identification. It’s given to first generation squibs so they can enter magical places.

“You don’t seem to be classified as that anymore,” Dumbledore said.

“True, but since I don’t have a wand, this is easier,” Maerna said.

“Are you sure you are going to be okay, here by yourself?” Dumbledore double-checked.

“She’ll be fine here,” a voice boomed from behind her, “I’ll be with her the entire time and she has a lot of questions to answer.”

Maerna whirled around to face a very angry man in his early sixties with spikey, white hair striding toward her. Maerna ducked her head in shame. “Hi, Uncle Brent. It’s been a long time.”

__________________________________________

Uncle Brent flashed his American Auror badge at them. “You sir, need to come with us.” He pointed to Dumbledore.

“Am I under arrest?” Dumbledore seemed amused at the idea.

“Not at the moment, but the last time I saw or heard from my niece was fifteen months ago as I watched a Death Eater bind me and kidnap her, so some questions need to be answered.” Brent McDermitt growled.

“That is completely understandable. You must have been so worried and Maerna should have contacted you before now. I’m Albus Dumbledore, by the way, Headmaster at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.” the old wizard said.

“I know who you are,” said Brent. “If you had been anyone else, you would have been in the slammer by now.” He turned his heel and headed for his office expecting the other two to follow. 

“So, that’s your Uncle Brent,” Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eye as they walked down the halls of MACUSA

Maerna tilted her head, perplexed. “I told you about my uncle. I don’t recall that conversation.”

“Really? You just told me about him yesterday.” A mischievous grin appeared on his face.

“What? Yesterday, but that was. . . . ooohhhh,” Maerna swatted him on his good arm and he laughed. 

___________________________________________  
It took forty-five minutes of apologizes, explanations and a little bit of memory modification by Dumbledore to get Maerna’s uncle to calm down. By the end, he didn’t seem happy but he was accepting of her story. Dumbledore bid them adieu and told Maerna to owl him when she returned home which made her uncle cringe.

Once they were alone, Brent walked over and give her a huge hug, tears were pooling in his eyes. “Please don’t ever do that again.”

“Get kidnapped? Okay, I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen,” Maerna tried to joke.

Brent continued to stare at her. “The day that I came to England, I came to tell you that-, that-”

“That my grandmother was murdered,” Maerna said softly. “I heard.”

“I’m sorry,” her uncle said. “I know how special she was to you. She was an amazing lady. I was proud to know her.”

“Me too, me too,” Then Maerna felt the tears begin to trickle down her cheeks. The trickle turned into a storm and she was weeping for all that was lost and would never return

_______________________________  
Brent McDermitt had been married to Maerna’s mother’s sister. It had been a happy marriage, but she had died years ago and Uncle Brent had never remarried. Her paternal grandmother had raised her. When her parents had died while Maerna was still a toddler, her grandmother became her guardian but her uncle was the “second parent” who visited Virginia whenever his job allowed. As a result, all three of them became very close and Laurel Danazul had named Brent the executor of her will.

“Basically, she left everything to you.” Brent said, “two houses, the car, the gold in our bank and the money in the nomaj bank, all of it.”

Maerna wasn’t surprised but she still felt awkward about the entire thing. “What is Cousin Sally going to say?” she asked.

Brent rolled his eyes, “Cousin Sally is going to be furious. She thought you had crawled into a hole and died somewhere. She has been nagging the executor of the will to take out a Benjamin Order and name her the beneficiary.”

“I assume the executor of the will hasn’t done that,” Maerna smiled.

“Of course not, I never gave up hope on you,” Brent said. “So, what do you want to do with the house and the money?”

Maerna reached out and grabbed his hand, “Thank you Uncle Brent, for everything. I am so lucky to have you as an uncle. As far as the property, liquidate all of it.”

Brent’s mouth dropped open. “All of it? There is probably close over a million dollars.”

“I know,” Maerna said, “and I’m going to need it. I have a plan and I’m going to need an American contact if you are willing.” 

She proceeded to tell him her concern for the British muggleborns, her expectations when the Ministry fell and possible ways to   
hide them or get them out of the country.

_________________  
They came back to Uncle Brent’s apartment for dinner. Widowed for over twenty years, it was a typical bachelor pad of a 62 year old man that was well set in his ways and saw no reason to change. As a result, dishes were piled in the sink, newspapers strewn across the floor and a mismatch of furniture met Maerna when she arrived. 

“Really, Uncle Brent, if I could do cleaning spells, this place would be sparking in minutes.” Maerna admonished him.

“Yeah, well. I can stun, hex and bind the worst of them, but those stupid cleaning spells get me all the time,” he grumbled.

Maerna just rolled her eyes and start summoning the newspapers into her hand.

“Hey, you got your magical abilities back,” Brent observed from the doorway. 

“Oh my gosh, you don’t know!” Maerna squealed. She preceded to tell him all about the rediscovery of her powers, the burning by the wands and her and Severus’s research into the Dark Arts ritual. The pizza came and she was still telling her story. “I keep telling myself, I’m sure my grandmother had a reason for binding my powers, but can’t possibly imagine what that would be. I know she loved me, but when I think about that memory, I start to second guess myself. . . “ She trailed off. “Did she ever say anything to you?”

“Now, you listen here, young lady,” her uncle lectured, keeping a blank faced. “I don’t know why your grandmother did that. She always acted like you were a squib, but I know she loved you more than life itself. Never forget that.”

“Yes, sir,” Maerna said. “Severus said the same thing.”

“Now, there are two questions I have for you. First what magic can you do wandlessly? That’s very impressive by the way. The second is who is this Severus?. You’ve mentioned him several times now.”

Maerna threw herself on the coach and groaned. “I can do about a dozen spells wandlessly. I’ll show them to you. That’s the easy one. Severus is the hard one. Why are men so complicated?”

Her uncle looked at his niece and burst out laughing.


	26. A Wizard, A Woman and A Werewolf Walk Into a Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Tell me, Maerna. Have you ever heard of the Order of the Phoenix? No? It’s secret group of people whose goal is to bring down Voldemort.”

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

 

Maerna spent a week with her uncle, catching up and planning for the fall of the British government. They set up safe houses in America. Brent made an appointment with some members of the Magical Congress to discuss refugee status and try to convince other countries to help. When Brent suggested that Maerna came to the meeting, she hesitated. “I’m not so sure if that’s a good idea,” she said.

“Why? This is your idea? You will be the lead in Great Britain.” Brent said.

“Exactly!” Maerna said. “If the Dark Lord comes to power, he will eliminate any threat to his plan. I will be high up on his list. The less people who know about my involvement the better. Even on this side, you need to be discrete. If he discovered that it is my uncle who is organizing everything, he will assume I am guilty.“

Brent looked carefully at his niece. “I thought your head was filled with scientific mumbo jumbo. When did you start to think like this?”

“When I woke up one day in a new life,” Maerna replied.

Brent arranged a point person to take over the duties of interacting with others. “What shall we call you?” he asked her.

She thought for a minute.“Meg, Meg Darcy, Maerna suggested. “Some of the people who may help at my end know me by that name already.”

“Already?” Brent exclaimed. “Why are you already using a pseudonym over there?”

“Because Uncle Brent, THERE the war has already started,”

 

_____________________

January 25, 1997

Dear Severus,

I’ve returned from the States. It was good to see my uncle again. While there, I talked to a friend, who is a Healer specializing in curse induced neuro-damage. The discussion was very enlightening and I have some new ideas that I would like to explore. Let me know when you have time to discuss them. 

I’m meeting Dumbledore for lunch on Tuesday at the The Hogshead if you are available. 

Yours,  
Maerna

Maerna was frustrated. Severus had yet to respond to her letters. Why was he being so obstinate? It wasn’t like they had actually been in a relationship. He hadn’t even kissed her. He used to write every week, sometimes twice a week and now, nothing. The silence was deafening. 

She arrived in Hogsmeade early for her luncheon with Albus. She had never been in an all wizarding village before and wanted to explore it. She could see lots of shops that would entice the students when they were allowed out of the castle. As she wandered to the end of the street, one building stood out to her. It certainly was dilapidated with several missing shingles and paint peeling off. Maerna walked closer to it and stretched out her fingers to touch the rough wood. 

“What do you feel?” a voice asked behind her.

Maerna spun around to greet the headmaster but he was still intent on the answer. “Do you feel any magic?”

Maerna refocused on the old house, listening and watching it. “Yes, but that’s not surprising given it’s on the edge of Hogsmeade.”

Albus nodded his head in agreement., “What emotion do you get from it? Magical places often carry bits of thoses who have been in the past.?”

“Sadness,” Maerna said. “Lots of pain. Like it has seen too many people hurt and mourns for them.”

Albus smiled, “I agree but it wasn’t lots of people, but rather one person over and over again.”

Maerna looked alarmed, “Was someone tortured in there?”

“In a manner of speaking,” said Albus. “This is where Remus would come to change when he was a student here.”

Maerna’s mouth puckered into an O. “I saw him change back once-the first day I met him. I am not sure what is worse, the pain of the transformation or knowing that you literally losing control of your mind. Thank goodness for Wolfsbane.”

They stood there for a few minutes in silence and then Albus suggested that they head to lunch. They entered the dark pub, Albus nodded to the bartender and then led her up the stairs to small private room. After they were settled, Maerna brought up a topic that she had meant to discuss earlier with him. “The Dark Lord called Severus and me to him on Christmas Eve this past year. Two interesting things happened. First he use legilimency on me.” Albus looked up alarmed. She was getting better but wasn’t ready for that yet, but Maerna held up her hand to stop him. ”It was the easiest session of occlumency I’ve ever had. He only saw exactly what I wanted him to.”

“Well, perhaps you have improved that much.” Albus said although he looked doubtful.

“I don’t think so. I was coming off of three days with almost no sleep and I was an emotional wreck walking into the room. By all accounts, he should have been able to open my mind up as easy as tearing a piece of paper. Yet, he didn’t see anything important.” Maerna said.

“Theories?” Albus asked.

“Yes, I think God watched over me and I think he’s telling me to stay this course even though Severus is pushing me away right now,” Maerna interpreted.

“Aaaahh, yes, he has been on edge lately, more than usual. Are you the cause of his stress?” Albus asked.

“I don’t mean to be, but there is a good chance,” admitted Maerna.

“Be patient, Maera, His tightrope gets thinner and thinner every day,” Albus said.

“I know. I just wanted to hear someone else say that I’m doing the right thing,” Maerna said.

Albus squeezed her hand, “Love is always the right thing, Maerna.”

“Thank you,” she said softly. “I also wanted to talk to you about something else that happened there.” She told him about how Voldemort forced her to use Severus’s wand against him again, but this time it actually worked--a bit. Her stupefy sent him staggering backwards but the consequences landed her in St. Mungo’s. 

“Interesting,” Albus said. “I wonder what the change is?”

“Well, I thought it might be the curse just breaking down more and more since my grandmother died,” Maerna explained. 

“That could be it, but with your injuries it sounds like some parts of the curse are actually strengthening, too or it could be because you were forcing Severus’s own wand to attack him. Wands have been known to do strange things when turned on their owners. Let me think about that one,” Albus said. For a moment he paused as he took a long swig of the butterbeer that had just been placed before them.“Now, I assume that you want to continue on with lessons?” Maerna nodded eagerly. “Good because I think you are getting close to completing your training. Then, of course, you want to move on to the first part of your goal? To help the muggleborns?” Again, Maerna confirmed with a nod of her head. Dumbledore paused again. When he spoke again he lowered his voice to a whisper. “Tell me, Maerna. Have you ever heard of the Order of the Phoenix?” Maerna frowned slightly and shook her head. Dumbledore continued. “It’s secret group of people whose goal is to bring down Voldemort. For obvious reasons, I will not introduce you to everyone.”

“Keep the parts of your life separated for everyone’s safety,” Maerna recited.

“Exactly,” Albus said. “But I do want to introduce you to a point person from that group. He can help you plan and organize. He has some connections to help you gain the resources you’ll need. I know you’ll like working with him.”  
Maerna tried not to show it, but she was a bit annoyed. She had specifically come to Albus because he was the one she knew she could work with. What if this guy wasn’t trustworthy? What if he didn’t want to work with her because of her semi-squib status? What if he saw her as a liability instead of help?

Maerna was ranting to herself so much that she didn’t hear the footsteps approach until Albus said, “Here, he is now. I believe you two have met before. Your new partner, so to speak is-” Maerna turned around to see a set of warm, friendly eyes.

“My favorite werewolf,” Maerna grinned as she was engulfed in a bear-sized hug.

“Your favorite?” Remus teased, “and here I thought I was the only one you knew.”

“Oh, I met a few others one full moon,” Maerna joined in, “but from what I can tell, you are the best of the bunch.”  
Remus joined them at the table “I told you to keep me in the loop on your ideas and you go running to Dumbledore instead,” Remus made a pouting face.

“Yes,” she admitted, “but it seems great minds think alike,” gesturing to both of them, “because we back together again. Now, some things I want to talk about. I also want to hear your ideas.”

She talked about her contact in America and trying to convince MACUSA to take some refugees when the time came. Remus knew of someone who was trying to do similar ideas in France and Belgium. Untraceable portkeys would be essential to this operation so how could they access them. Maerna was going to start stockpiling Polyjuice Potion because it was sure to become forbidden. “I want to talk to George and Fred Weasley, too.” She added.

“The Weasley twins?” Remus looked surprised but Dumbledore smiled.

“Their store is filled with things that could help, with a little tweaking, on clandestine activities and they’ve already started making safety items for the MInistry,” Maerna explained. “But can they be trusted?”

Dumbledore nodded, “They have been trusted with information before and have some connections to Order members although they are not in it themselves. I think they can be trusted. What about a headquarters or connection point?”

“Why not Maerna’s house? It’s in the middle of nowhere, no one knows where it is and it’s already heavily warded.” Remus suggested.

Dumbledore and Maerna exchanged glances. “No,” Maerna shook her head. “It won’t work. My husband cannot be involved in this.” 

Dumbledore cocked an eyebrow at Maerna but let the title slide. Instead he turned to Remus, “I assume you haven’t met her husband,” he said pointedly seeming to emphasize the last word.

Remus shook his head no. “She says almost nothing about him and won’t let me near the house when he comes home from traveling. Honestly, it’s a little unnerving.” He looked at Maerna straight in the eye.

Dumbledore nodded, “I can understand that, Remus, but I’m asking you to trust her and trust me. He is not to be involved for any reason. Her life with him and her job with you must be stay separated, do you understand?” His ice blue eyes pierced into Remus until the man agreed. “Good and to ensure this, as far as you know, Maerna Danazul doesn’t exist anymore. This is your partner, Meg Darcy.”

Maerna put out her hand like an introduction. “Hello, Remus. It’s nice to meet you. This isn’t my normal look but I haven’t quite decided what do yet. What do you think redhead? Brunette?” Remus didn’t respond; he just pursed his lips into a tight line and accepted her hand.


	27. The Tightrope Gets Tighter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An evil smile twisted on to Voldemort’s face. “You’ve had a fight with her.” He studied his servant more closely. “You have feelings for her.” Severus flinched on the inside attempting to resurrect his wall, but it was too late.

Severus trudged through the muddy snow as he walked up the pathway toward the house. It was Valentine’s Day and he was missing the Hogwarts’ feast. For a split second, he considered which place he’d rather be-stuck in the Great Hall which was overly decorated with pink and red hearts, trying to swat away the giggling cupids and their stupid arrows or here. He entered the house, cleaned off his boots and donned his mask. It was better to get his over with, so he could go back to the stupid feast, he thought. Then he set a brisk pace to the parlor and knelt before the ghostly figure in reverence.

“Severus,” his high, clear voice echoed about the chamber, “What news have you?”

“My Lord,” Severus addressed. “Dumbledore continues to disappear for days at a time, but will give me little information. He is uses vague terms like researching. He did let it slip that his last trip was to Canada. He was there for three days” Dumbledore had agreed to give the Dark Lord that little bit of information.

“Canada?” said Lord Voldemort. “Be careful, Severus. He may be suspecting you and giving you false information. Assuming his research is about me, then he is on the wrong path. I have never been nor have any interest in Canada.”

“Yes, my Lord,” said Severus as he tucked that bit of information behind his occlumency wall for Dumbledore. 

“How is the potion’s researching going?” Voldemort motioned Severus to stand up so they were eye level. Severus slowly rose and met this master’s eyes.

“Slowly, my Lord.” Severus chose his words carefully. “Maerna cois rresponding with someone from home who gave her some ideas but I haven’t had the opportunity to discuss them with her yet.” He tried to keep his voice unemotional but cracks appeared and truth slipped out.

An evil smile twisted on to Voldemort’s face. “You’ve had a fight with her.” He studied his servant more closely. “You have feelings for her.” Severus flinched on the inside attempting to resurrect his wall, but it was too late. “I warned you about this, Severus. Your idea to make her fall in love with you could backfire. Don’t let her have the upperhand.”

“No, my Lord, I will maintain control,” Severus assured him. He bowed low and returned to meeting Voldemort’s eyes.

Voldemort studied the onyx eyes for several more minutes and then nodded. “Just remember, what is really the most important thing in your life. Remember, what you have dedicated your life towards. Nothing is more important than that” He slipped his claw-like hand out and lightly petted the scaled head of Nagini. 

“Always, my Lord, alway.” Severus exited slowly cursing himself for the emotional slip and thinking of the irony of the conversation-how they could be using the same words but have completely different meanings. 

 

_________________________________________

Maerna was standing in front of the mirror. Reflecting back was Meg Darcy. A short brown bob had replaced her golden waves. Horn-rimmed glasses were perched upon her nose. She giggled in spite of herself. Give her an orange sweater and she could pass for Velma. Perhaps she should buy a Great Dane and name him Scooby. She had spent the afternoon with Fred who has created the masterpiece in front of her. Now she just had to learn the spells wandlessly. Taking a deep breath, she focused and moved her hands out imagining longer blonde hair.

 

____________________________

 

Severus’s feet crunched on the cold ground as he swiftly returned to the castle. That idiot American Groundhog has seen its shadow and predicted six more weeks of winter. It seemed Scotland had agreed with the assessment. 

He slammed open the large front door and stalked to the dungeon. Fury swelled through him as he thought about the conversation he just had with the headmaster on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. “He takes things for granted. He assumes that I will do this one favor for him. I don’t want to be part of this anymore. I want out. I can’t keep this up. What will it do to Maerna?” He paused at his chamber door and slowly leaned into the solid oak. Maerna. He hadn’t answered any of her letters and she was, rightfully, getting upset. He needed to distance himself from her. His last conversation with the Dark Lord proved that. If he didn’t, he might get her killed. Still if they didn’t move forward with this potion, the results would be the same. He was a fool to ever get her involved in this.

Sighing deeply, he opened the door and moved to the side table. A crystal decanter of Firewhiskey sat upon it along with a solitary etched glass. Severus filled it to the brim, finished it in one gulp and then refilled. Dumbledore asked him to come to office at eleven tonight to finish their previous conversation. He needed to talk to the old man. They needed to find an alternative way out of this situation that would keep Maerna from getting killed and still end the Dark Lord’s reign. 

 

_________________

Dumbledore gave her the address of a Mr. Dillyweed, who specialized in potion ingredients and had no love toward Voldemort. Meg Darcy and her older brother, Lykos, showed up at his doorstep with a list. Mr. Dillyweed showed them his extensive herb garden as well his animal padlocks. He also had stores of ingredients that he, himself, did not produce. Mr. Dillyweed found his new customers to be very knowledgeable and well funded. They found his selection of high quality and quantity. He assured them that the fluxweed was picked during the last full moon. The woman inspected it and agreed. The conversation seemed to be the beginning of a very fruitful business arrangement for both of them. Meg and Lykos left with her bag full of ingredients: knotwood, fluxweed, boomslang skin, lacewing flies, and powdered bicorn horn. As Meg waved good-bye, Mr. Dillyweed shook his head. Someone was making Polyjuice Potion and a lot of it.

Back at home, Maerna and Remus started brewing the lacewings. They had 32 days until Severus’s Easter break and the potion needed to brewed and hidden before he came back.

 

_______________

Severus was still as a statue in his chair in the headmaster’s office as the clock struck eleven. Dumbledore paced around him. Severus needed to talk to him about Maerna, about her safety, but the headmaster wanted Severus to give a message to Harry Potter and that message made him forget everything else. 

“Tell him that on the night Lord Voldemort tried to kill him, when Lily cast her own life between them as a shield, the Killing Curse rebounded upon Lord Voldemort, and a fragment of Voldemort’s soul was blasted apart from the whole, and latched itself onto the only living soul left in that collapsed building. Part of Lord Voldemort’s soul lives inside of Harry.”

Shock coursed through Severus’s body. Part of the Dark Lord’s soul inside of Potter? Inside of Lily’s son? “So the boy. . . the boy must die?” asked Snape quite calmly.

“And Voldemort himself must do it, Severus. That is essential.”

The conversation continued with Severus becoming more and more horrified until at last-

“Expecto Patronum!”

A silver doe appeared and bounded across the office and soared out the window.

“After all this time?” Dumbledore asked.

“Always,” said Snape1 and sank to the ground. He had feelings for Maerna, he admitted that to himself, but it was to Lily he must be true. He would stay. He would complete the job. He would kill Albus and then tell her son that he too must die. “I’m so sorry, Maerna,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry, Lily.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1-Large portions of this chapter come, either directly or indirectly, from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallow, by J.K. Rowling, Chapter 33, pages 685-687, American Edition.


	28. An Oath of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maerna believed in God. He was always amazed the strength that belief gave her. Maybe, it wasn’t just the belief but God, himself, who gave her that strength.

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

Despite her frantic brewings to meet the Easter deadline, Severus did not appear that day, nor the next day, nor the next. Maerna had had it. Her heart and mind could not be rational at that moment. Before she even thought things through, she had flooed over to the Three Broomsticks and marched off to the Post. There she jotted off a quick note to say that she was coming to the castle in twenty minutes and for Severus to please be at the gate.   
He did not. She paced in front of the wrought iron for thirty minutes before a large man, easily the size of three normal sized men, came up the path to the iron bars. He introduced himself as Hagrid and explained that he couldn’t let her in with permission from an instructor, for safety reasons. She said that was perfectly reasonable, but could he find Professor Severus Snape and ask him to come down to the gate.

“Sorry, ma’am, but he left the castle,” the friendly giant said.

“Left? How long ago?” Maerna said with suspicion.

“About twenty minutes or so,” Hagrid replied.

Maerna thanked him and said no when he asked her about leaving a message. Then she turned and stomped back to Hogsmeade. “Coward,” she fumed 

Maerna felt like her ears were streaming flames of anger. The only way to cure this irate feeling was to hit something (like maybe a certain DADA professor) or eat chocolate. Maerna spied Honeydukes and stepped into a bustling confectionare breathing in the heavenly smell. Ten minutes later, she was still debating between Chocobars and Fudge Flies, when a rough whisper came up behind her. “And which candy is going to enjoy the pleasure of your company?”

Maerna turned around and smiled. Everytime Severus managed to irritate her, there was always kind Remus to make her laugh. “I haven’t decided,” she said, ”but whichever one, it will be labeled-’Men are scum’ before I eat it.”

Remus looked offended, “husband trouble?”

Maerna rolled her eyes, “Always.” Maerna looked around and noted the witches and wizards around. Some of them seemed to be staring at them with interest. They were in a public place--best to stick to safe topics. “How are you doing? Have you talked to Tonks lately?” 

Sighing, Remus gave her the “get off my back” look. “Yes,” he said pointedly, “and we are still friends, only friends. Stop badgering me. It would appear your own love life needs your attention more than mine.”

“Sorry,” Maerna smiled as she paid for her purchase.

“No, you aren’t,” Remus shot back.

“You’re right,” she said and took a big bite out of her men-are-scum chocolate.

 

_____________________________

Three weeks later, Maerna was brewing up a batch of dittany when something triggered the wards around the cottage. Warily, Maerna crept upstairs to find two masked Death Eaters in her kitchen. “May I help you?” she replied politely. One just rolled his eyes behind the mask, but the slighter of the two pointed the wand at her, “Stupefy” came a high nasal, woman’s voice. Maerna threw the cauldron in her hands at the witch. It stopped the spell but the cauldron blasted into pieces that flew across the room. Bellatrix had been so close that she assumed she wouldn’t miss. She wasn’t prepared for Maerna to keep running toward her with a knife close to her waist. She shoved it into Bella’s stomach with one hand as she twisted Bella’s wand arm with the other. Bella screamed and went down, her wand spinning under the table. Maerna was just about to reposition for a good punch when a wand poked her in the back.

“Maerna, stop this. How do you expect to win with two of us?“ Severus’s silky voice interrupted her.

“I was still working on that,” Maerna said. “I was hoping you were Wormtail and then I might have a chance. Why didn’t you just announce you were here? You walk in here with that mask on and point a wand at me, what do you expect?”

Severus snorted and offered his hand to help her up, completely ignoring the nearby Bella with an oozing stab wound. By the time, he had turned back towards her, Bella was retrieving her wand; her eyes were blazing. Severus picked up the knife and examined it. “Bella, make sure you don’t put any dittany on that stab wound. It will actually makes it worse,” Severus told her. 

Maerna started to crack up. When both Death Eaters looked at her like she lost her mind, she gestured around the kitchen where the potion from her cauldron was all over the place, most prominently dripping on herself and Bella. “THAT was a standard size 4 cauldron full of dittany.”

 

________________________________

The Dark Lord wanted to see Maerna, Bella announced gleefully. Maerna just nodded and collected her cloak and grabbed Severus’s hand for apparition, never once looking into his eyes. Once there, she strolled purposefully into the room, surveying the scene as she went. A few new additions had been added to the group including, Maerna noted with disgust, Fenir Greyback. Remus had talked about him and she had seen his rather distinct picture on Most Wanted posters. There was also a woman with skin as pale as Severus’s but hair as blonde as his was black.

Maerna beat the other two to the dias and sank to her knee like she was kneeling at Voldemort’s feet but her thoughts were elsewhere. “Here we go again, God,” she prayed. “Why do you want me here this time?” 

Lord Voldemort didn’t waste his time today. “We seem to have a little problem, Maerna. A problems with you and loyalty.”  
Maerna’s heart beat faster, “Sir?”

He grabbed her by her hair and yanked her up hissing in her face. “You were seen with THE werewolf in Hogsmeade.”

Maerna pretended to be confused “with Remus? Severus warned me that you weren’t fond of half-breeds but I thought exceptions for some species were being made.” She pointedly looked toward Fenir skulking in the back.

“Liar!” Voldemort yelled.

Maerna knew that she was in serious trouble and had to tread carefully. She bowed her head a bit lower and said, “Forgive me, sir. I would never presume to tell you anything, but I have happened chanced to meet him both in Hogsmeade and the woods near my house.” Taking a chance, she looked up at those red slits and held the gaze thinking about only three times she had seen Remus-the first time, one other walk and Honeydukes. She prayed fervently that no other memories would slip through.

Voldemort seared into her brain. This was different than last time. He was searching. He wanted clues for deception. Finally, he dropped her to the ground and turned to Severus, “It seems your little squib has been entertaining half breeds at your house when you aren’t there, Severus.” Voldemort cawed with glee. “Does this make you angry?”  
Maerna gave her head a quick affirmative nod, hoping Severus would see it. “It’s okay. Say what you need to say. Do what you need to do to keep your place, Severus,” she thought but Severus said nothing.

“My Lord,” Maerna began to panic. “This interaction with werewolf is my responsibility and mine alone. I mentioned it once to Severus. He warned me to stay away, but I did not take heed. Any slight against your expectations is my responsibility.”

Voldemort turned to her. “You disgust me, you filthy half-squib, conjugating with half breeds but what would I expect from someone who can’t even hold a wand,” he sneered. “Regardless of your freakish attractions, that’s not my concern at the moment. I’m sure Severus can issue proper punishment for that. What I’m concerned about is why THAT werewolf.”

“I don’t understand, sir. I don’t know other werewolves but how is Remus different than others,” Maerna asked. 

Fenir snorted from the corner. “That son,” he growled “has been the biggest disappointment of all my children.”

Voldemort ignored him and moved closer to the woman. “THAT werewolf is a member of the Order of the Phoenix.”

“Again, I apologize, sir, but what is that?” Maerna asked.

The Dark Lord halted and stared at her with disbelief.

“My Lord,” Severus cut in smoothly. “If I may add something?” He waited for permission. Voldemort waved his hand impatiently. “The woman is from American where such things are not such common   
knowledge. She doesn’t get the Daily Prophet or converse regularly with people outside of my house. I certainly have never had a conversation with her about The Order. It is possible that it is just a coincidence. She did tell me of meeting the werewolf. She did not ever give me a name and frankly, I didn’t think to ask because I assumed that she would heed my warning and end the friendship. Obviously, I was wrong and will have to deal with it accordingly when we get home.” His glare directed over to Maerna; his intent clear to those in the room. 

“Her grandmother tightly controlled her exposure to the wizarding world.” Severus continued. “She started mixing potions at age 8, but didn’t know that werewolves existed. She knew much of you and your accomplishments but had never heard of Potter.” The name cause a hiss from the room and Voldemort to shift his gaze abruptly. “In short, my Lord, she is very ignorant about a vast number of topics.”

“And very cunning in others,” Voldemort added which Severus acknowledged with a nod. “Still I’m concerned about loyalty. You have given her too much freedom, Severus. You allowed her to wander past the wards. You have allowed her the ability to consort with others. What I need is proof of her loyalty?”

“My Lord, if will just look into my eyes, you’ll know-” Severus said.

“I’m not worried about your allegiance. I’m worried about hers,” Voldemort hissed. Then he turned to Maerna. “I will give you a choice, squib. Take an oath of allegiance to me or die.”

Maerna took a deep breath. So this was it. This was the test. “Then I shall die,” she said simply. Severus didn’t say a word but she thought he twitched a bit. “Sir,” she addressed Voldemort. “I do not trust you. You have given me no reason to trust you. I do fear you. Anyone who doesn’t would be a fool, but I do not take an oath out of fear. The only ones in this room that I would take an oath to is Jesus Christ and Severus Snape. So you just have to ask yourself, how much do you trust them?”

Voldemort let out a roar at her declaration sending curses flying across the room. Maerna was hit with two stunning curses and fainted.

She came to a few minutes later to find herself bound with Severus standing over her-wand in hand. His expression unreadable. Voldemort’s voice echoed behind him. “Do you want to see a true example of allegiance, Maerna? Then here it is,” he gestured to Severus. “Did you know this man has feelings for you?” he sneered, “I saw them myself. Oh, he tried to hide them deep in his mind, but Lord Voldemort sees all. Yet, despite these feelings, his loyalty is with me and me alone. You say that you would pledge an oath to Severus. You are too late. He, long ago, pledged to loyalty, his life, his very soul. Severus, crucio.

Remorse shadowed his eyes but his face harded into stone and he pointed his wand at her.

Pain shot through her from a thousands points. Wave after wave until her body burned with fire like she was swimming in glowing charcoal until it finally died down. Maerna lay there gasping for breath, hoping for an end. “Severus,” she called weakly.

“Again,” Voldemort demanded.

Severus hesitated.

“Severus,” she said a little stronger, “look at me.”

________________

“Severus,” she said a little stronger, “look at me.”

He dared to look into those eyes of pain. What he saw however, was strength, strength and pleading, inviting him to look in. “Remember,” she thought, “Remember, what I said. ‘My role is to be here for you. I will never pass judgment on you, no matter what is required of you.’”

“AGAIN,” Voldemort screamed pulling them from the intimacy and Severus raised his wand.

Slowly, Maerna came to. She was on the stone floor, blood dripping from her lips. Sweat caked on her brow. Pain rolled off of her as she struggled to open her eyes. Severus was backed against a wall, struggling to stay standing. Voldemort was towering over her with a mad gleam in his eye. “Do you believe me now, Maerna? Did you think that Severus would be kind to you? How foolish you are! Now, in the end, you realize that I am the only one worth bowing too.” He strolled around her a few times, the long length of his robe falling across her face as he passed by. “Do you know that Severus developes spells? He’s quite good at it. The one he’s going to use next on you, he created when he was just sixteen. I thoroughly enjoy watching him use it on filth. Severus,” he turned to the pale wizard, “your speciality, please.”

Severus walked over stiffly like he was willing his legs to move.”Sectumsempra,” he croaked and the blood poured out. Slash upon slash on her body until the Dark Lord called for a halt. “I think she’d done,” he said. Blood pooled around her body and ran like rivers to the walls. She was still alive, but everyone knew it wouldn’t be for much longer. “Oh, Severus,” the Dark Lord mocked him. “If she survives, she can pledge her oath of allegiance to you.” With one final cackle, he stalked out the door. The others followed suit except for Severus and the blonde woman

Severus knees buckled and his wand dropped to the floor. He leaned over Maerna’s body and released a torrent of anguish and tears. The woman carefully walked up and placed her hand on his shoulder. He stiffened. “What do you want, Narcissa?” he asked harshly.

“Do you love her?” Narcissa asked him? 

Severus nodded. He didn’t understand it. He thought that the only woman he would ever love was Lily but when he saw Maerna writhing on the floor, the life pouring out her, the agony he felt was unbearable like his heart was being ripped from his body. He had only felt this once before and just like last time, he was losing the woman he loved.

Narcissa waved her wand and murmured something while Severus looked on dully. Finally, he focused on her magic. “A stasis spell isn’t going to work, Narcissa,” he snapped. “She’s beyond the help of healers and potions.”

“You are probably right but there is a fraction of a chance.” Narcissa admitted. “What are you willing to do to save her?” Severus looked up trying to register her words. “Come on,” Narcissa said, “Bring her to the Manor.”

Gently as possible, Severus picked her up. Her hair and clothes were drenched in blood but the stasis spell was keeping the remaining in and her heart pumping. By the type he entered Malfoy Manor,   
Narcissa was already striding toward the library. Severus brought her into the book laden room and set her on the sofa while Narcissa was running her fingers along a bookshelf. Gingerly, she picked out a large, heavy volume. It was very old, Severus, could tell--probably one of those that book collectors would salivate over. Narcissa brought it over to the table and carefully started turning the pages.

“Did you know I have a hobby of studying ancient magic, all types-dark and light? I came across this one years ago. and it intrigued me.” She found the correct page and pushed the heavy volume toward Severus. He quickly read through the Latin before looking back at her. “A blood bond?” he inquired. He had read about them, but didn’t think they had been practiced in centuries.  
Narcissa nodded. “They usually require dark magic and were used to enforce treaties and contracts. What caught my interest on this one was that it’s not done through dark but through love. However, there is a catch. For this to work, you have to truly love a person. I mean love her more than anyone else. Do you love her that much?”

“Love?” Severus felt like he hadn’t understood anything that had happened in the last few minutes. Was it possible? Did he love her enough to make this spell work? Could he love Lily and Maerna at the same time? Maerna once said there was enough room in his heart for two woman, but he wasn’t so sure. Did he love Maerna as much as he loved Lily? Did he love her more? 

Severus traced his fingers on her lips. She reminded him of Lily. They were both so brave. They both had spunk and cheek that drove you crazy but you adored. They had both befriended him and loved him even when others shunned him, but Maerna went even further. Whereas Lily had given up hope on him, Maerna always believed in the goodness inside. Lily wouldn’t forgive a simple slip of the tongue, but Maerna forgave him cursing her to the brink of death. If he was honest with himself, he would realize that Maerna was the woman that was meant for him. She gave him so much because she loved him. He wanted to do the same for her. Severus looked up at Narcissa. “What do I have to do?”

Narcissa gentle took off Maerna’s outer-clothing until she was only clad in her undergarments while Severus disrobed. He laid down carefully beside her. Narcissa gave him a blood replenishing potion and made small cuts in his skin--not deep but just enough to let the blood flow. She removed the stasis spell from Maerna. Then she used her wand to make glowing golden strands that entwined the two and began to chant.

Sanguis enim sanguis  
Amor est amor  
Quid operatus sit Deus  
Mors non separet

Severus pulled Maerna into his arms. He could feel the energy draining from him but then it came back in waves. It felt like a cycle of blood and of life passing between them. Over and over, Narcissa continued the chant. As he did, Severus gripped Maerna tighter and began to translate the chant in his head.

Blood for blood  
Love for love  
What God hath wrought  
Let Death not put asunder

“What God hath wrought,” Severus thought. Maerna believed in God. He was always amazed the strength that belief gave her. Maybe, it wasn’t just the belief but God, himself, who gave her that strength. Narcissa continued to chant but there was no change in the woman sitting next to him. Desperately, he closed his eyes and prayed, “Dear Lord, I don’t think I can do this without her. She is giving me the strength to get through the task and the future. Please send her back to me.” He opened his eyes. He knew it was probably a terrible prayer but as he turned his head, he saw Maerna’s chest begin to rise and fall. Her fingers moved under his hand and a small smile formed on her lips.

After a few more minutes, Narcissa removed the golden web. She had something brought up for Severus to eat while he looked upon Maerna’s sleeping form. “Why did you do this, Narcissa?” he asked between sips of ale

Narcissa slowly moved a piece of fruit around on her plate. “Because I saw how much you loved her and I owe you.”

“Owe me?” Severus asked.

“You took a Unbreakable Vow for me. You have been watching over Draco as best you can. He’s complained to me about it.” A smile played on her lips. “And when the time comes, I know you will do the job that he doesn’t have the courage to do. I owe you, Severus. I owe you my son’s life.”


	29. The most powerful magic is love, prayer and forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I prayed.” he said so softly that Maerna almost didn’t catch it. “I prayed to your God and right after, you started to breath.”
> 
> Maerna smiled, “Then it sounds like I have three to thank. You, for volunteering, Narcissa, for offering her knowledge, and God, for working through both of you to produce a miracle.”

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

Maerna woke up feeling strangely comfortable. She knew this couldn’t be true because her last memory was of some horrible pain. Still, she snuggled down into the warm and softness and decided that she would understand it later.

Maerna woke up later, still very comfortable but also more aware of her surroundings. She was in a bed that she didn’t recognize. It was rather large with emerald green sheets and a black comforter tucked around her. I like this bed, she thought and then drifted off again.

Maerna woke up again, aware of a world beyond the bed. Dark paneling covered the walls. A green drape covered what looked to be a window but a sliver of green light, not sunshine, was coming from it. Just beyond her reach was a nightstand which a bell on it. A small sign said. “Ring when you are awake.” “I could do that,” she thought, “but it’s just too far away.”

The fourth time, Maerna finally managed to ring the bell and await someone. Within a few minutes, Severus slipped into the bedroom. “How are you feeling?” he asked quietly.

“Alive,” Maerna said, “so I guess that’s a good thing.”

“Most would say so,” he answered dryly. “We need to talk, but I have class in 10 minutes.”

“That’s okay” she said sleepily. “I think I’ll go back to sleep.”

“Okay,” Severus kissed the top of her head. “Sleep well.”

__________________  
Maerna opened her eyes to see Severus sitting at a small table with a half eaten dinner, marking papers. “Are you failing all of them?” she asked.

Severus glanced up, “Not all, just the ones who can’t tell me the difference between Wolfsbane and Monkshood.” He set the papers down and walked over to her.

Maerna wrinkled her brow. “There isn’t a difference.”

“Very good,” Severus tapped her nose. “You just received an outstanding mark.” He sat down looking worried. “Maerna, I can’t tell you how sor-” but she wouldn’t listen. 

She struggled up to place her fingers on his lips. “No, I will not accept any apologies from you. We both knew this might become a possibility. We knew the risks but I say the rewards make it worth it.” 

“What rewards could there possibly be for torturing you to the near point of death?” Severus asked with an incredulous face.

“Well, you are talking to me again.” Maerna pointed out.

Severus threw up his hands in exasperation and was about to argue when Maerna moved on. “He expected me to die that, didn’t he?”

Severus nodded, “I think we all did. You were so close, I don’t want to think about. That memory of you writhing on the ground, your blood flowing down the cracks in the floor.. . .” he paused and turned to regain his composure. “Maerna, I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.”

Maerna laid hand on his cheek and just stared into his coal-black eyes. She felt a new connection to him. She couldn’t explain it. She doubted any words really could. Still pressing against his cheek, she closed her eyes and searched for magic. She found a tiny thread of gold stretched between herself and Severus. It was like a rainbow where it didn’t seem to have an end. One side just disappeared into Severus and the other end into herself.

“What happened?” she asked. “How did I survive? What is this connection between us?

Severus hesitated for a moment. Then he took a deep breath and launched into the story, omitting one key component, the need for love. Now that the crisis was over, Severus didn’t want to admit his feelings, not yet anyways.

After he finished, Maerna nodded and slipped into a pensive moment. “Narcissa, she was the blonde haired woman in the Dark Lord’s chamber?”

Severus nodded. “Yes, she, herself, is not a Death Eater, but she’s married to one and Bellatrix is her sister.”

Maerna smiled, “Joined to his inner circle by blood and marriage. Poor woman.” Severus just grimaced. Did Maerna realize that she was getting pulled closer to that inner circle as much as Narcissa was?. 

“This blood bond, you mentioned. Is that why I can see this connection between us?” she asked.

“You can see it?” Severus was astounded. “You can, literally, see it?

“No, not literally but if I close my eyes, I can sense it. There is a very thin thread of gold between us,” she explained. 

Severus nodded, “Interesting. I honestly don’t know much about blood bonds. It’s an ancient magic, almost forgotten by modern wizards. I will have to do some research, but given how the ritual was done, I doubt it will harm either one of us.”

Maerna smiled at him reassuringly. “Of course, it won’t,” she said. She grabbed his hand and stared deep into his eyes, “Thank you,” shed said simply. “I know you feel horrible about what you had to do, but I’m not upset. In fact, in the end, it might do you some good.”

“Me?” Severus was once again puzzled, “The ritual was to save your life.”

Maerna nodded, “True, but it might just help to save your soul, Severus Snape. You just told me what happened during the ritual. Narcissa had the answer and performed the chant. You were the volunteer willing to be bonded to me, but it wasn’t working. We lay inside that golden web and I still wasn’t moving. What happened next? Why did Narcissa’s spell start to work? What did you do, Severus?”

Severus froze and stared at her. A long silence stretched between them. He was afraid to admit it. If he admitted it, then it might be true. Severus felt so torn. Part of him wanted it to be true and part hoped that it was just a coincidence. “I prayed.” he said so softly that Maerna almost didn’t catch it. “I prayed to your God and right after, you started to breath.”

Maerna smiled, “Then it sounds like I have three to thank. You, for volunteering, Narcissa, for offering her knowledge, and God, for working through both of you to produce a miracle.” 

_____________________________________

Maerna spent days recovering in Severus’s chambers at Hogwarts. Most of the time, she slept but Dobby brought her books from the cottage and the library for when she could keep her eyes open. Severus took many of his meals with her but also went to the Great Hall to “keep up appearances” as he called it. It was a comfortable time and Maerna could feel their relationship deepening. When she closed her eyes, she could see that golden thread. It seemed to be getting thicker with each passing day. 

There was one thing that confused Maerna. How did Severus feel about her? The sexual tension had been there since before Christmas but he had never really acted on it. He had never even really kissed. Maerna was content to let things take their course naturally but she was still confused-especially at night. One night she was actually awake when Severus came to retire. Given she was sleeping almost twenty hours a day, it wasn’t surprising that she not been awake for this and she hadn’t really thought about where he was sleeping until now. He simply pulled the covers back and crept into bed with her pulling her close to his body. Content, Maerna snuggled against him and fell back asleep. 

Severus was at class one day and Maerna was taking a shower. The hot water felt so good. She glanced at her body. Scars were all over her body, from tiny to a large one that crossed her right thigh. “I wonder if those will every disappear,” she thought to herself. “Maybe not since they were made with dark magic.” She reached for the shampoo and grinned. It was the muggle shampoo that she had recommended to Severus months ago. He was still using it.

About a week after her secret arrival to the castle, her first visitor knocked on the door. Maerna froze. She wasn’t sure if anyone knew she was there or if they were even supposed to know. She was just contemplating what to do when the door opened and Dumbledore stepped in. “Forgive me, my dear,” Dumbledore said, “but I thought perhaps you were becoming restless and could use some company. How are you feeling?”

A big smile broke out on her face. “Better and better, everyday, headmaster.” Maerna paused and studied him for a moment. “How are you feeling?” she inquired.

“I’m quite fine,” he answered a bit bewildered. “Why do you ask?”

Maerna pointed to his withered hand, “I don’t know exactly what happened there but I know it was done by dark magic and that magic is getting stronger.”

Dumbledore was intrigued, “You can sense that?”

Maerna shrugged her shoulders. “I always have been able to, even when I thought I was a squib. I can sense the wards around the cottage. I can sense the connection between. . .” she drifted off, unsure of how much Dumbledore knew.

Dumbledore smiled, “of the connection between Severus and you now? He came to me after it happened. I happen to be quite knowledgeable in some ancient magics. I don’t think you should fear that connection you have.”

Maerna nodded and continued, “and I can sense the dark magic radiating from your hand. It seems darker than it was a few months ago.”  
Dumbledore nodded. “Like I said before, you are a very perceptive woman, Maerna Danazul; however, it’s nothing to worry about. I did something rather foolish last summer and this is the consequence. I suspect that it will no longer be an issue in a month or two.” Dumbledore smiled reassuringly. “Besides checking on you, I actually came to discuss something with Meg Darcy.”

Maerna immediately straightened up. “Yes?” she said with great interest.

“Well, first it seems, she had invited a certain werewolf over for dinner last Thursday to do some planning, but she never came out of her cottage that evening or any evening since.” Dumbledore explained. “He came to me rather worried, but I assured him that you were perfectly safe. Something had come up rather suddenly and you were now with your ‘husband’ at his job.”

Maerna nodded, “Thank you. I should owl him to reassure him myself.” Then a look of horror crossed her face. “The Wolfsbane. He was supposed to start it two days ago. I haven’t even finished making this month’s supply. It will be ruined by now.”

Dumbledore comforted her. “Don’t worry about Remus. He’s fine. Actually, Severus found the half done potion at your cottage, completed it and gave it to me three days ago. He told me to be sure it was delivered to whomever needed it and so I did.”

A look of tenderness washed over Maerna’s face. “You know, he can be quite kind and thoughtful when he wants to be.”

Dumbledore agreed. “Severus is a many-layered onion. I’m willing to bet that you have peeled back more layers than most anyone else. The second reason I came calling was to suggest that Meg become acquainted with one of our sixth year students. She is a remarkable, young lady. Last year she developed a protean charm that allowed fellow students to secretly communicate. It drove Umbridge crazy. I thought it might be of interest. She might be willing to develop something for her.”

“I’m sure that ‘Meg’ would be very interested in that,” Maerna played along, “although I’m sure you could explain it to her just as easily.”

“Oh no doubt, but this might be a good way for Meg to make some introductions, connect with people whom she may need to trust in the future,” Dumbledore said.

“So, you think this girl can be trusted with that much?” Maerna asked skeptically.

“Oh, yes.” Dumbledore appeared bemused. “Her name is Hermione Granger. She’s one of Harry Potter’s best friends.

___________________

 

A few days later, Maerna was reading up on Protean Charms when Severus came barging into his chambers, seething in anger. Maerna looked up alarmed but said calmly, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No!” came the curt reply.

“Okay,” Maerna went back to her book.

Severus paced up and down the small room for a few seconds and then stopped in front of her again. “I just caught Harry Potter using dark magic on a boy from my house.”

Maerna looked up in alarm. “Is the boy--?”

“Draco is fine,” Severus cut her off, “but only because I got there quickly and used the counterspell.”

“What was the curse?” curiosity got ahold of Maerna.

Severus stopped short and stared at her, as if he just realized he had made a rather stupid mistake. “Umm, Sectumsempra.” he answered meekly.

“Oh,” Maerna choked out. “I hope you didn’t teach-”

“No, of course not,“ Severus snapped.

“Then how did he learn it,” Maerna’s eyes narrowed.

Severus sat down next to her on the sofa. “I think from my old textbook.” He then explained how he must have left his personal copy Advanced Potion Making book in the potions classroom when he transferred to the DADA position. “I wrote all sorts of things in the that book, including that curse. He must have, somehow, gotten his hands on it. It would also explain how The Chosen One seems to have become Mr. Potion Unparalleled this year,” he sneered.  
Maerna was silent for a long time. Then she said, “So, is this a forgivable offense?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Severus, I forgave you for the same thing. Don’t you think you could forgive Harry Potter?” Maerna asked.

Severus stared at her but didn’t answer.

“Do you think that boy is remorseful for what he did?” Maerna continued.

Severus sighed, “Yes, I, honestly, don’t think he realized what the curse would do. He was apologizing as soon as he realized what he had done.”

Maerna reached over and hugged him whispering in his ear, “Forgive Severus. I know it isn’t easy but in the end, it will be better for you and for him.”

Severus nodded and pulled back. “Okay, but he still has detention every Saturday from me for the rest of the year.”

Maerna smiled. “Only once a week. Knowing your feelings for the boy, I’m surprised it wasn’t every day.”

Severus just shook his head, “Once a week is enough. I don’t want to spend that much time with the arrogant, egotistical Chosen One.”

 

__________________________

 

Dear Ms. Granger, 

A mutual acquaintance of ours mentioned your skill in Protean Charms. I was wondering if you would be willing to meet me on Friday at 2:30 to discuss an upcoming project I have going. I shall be in the Great Hall. Please respond by owl. Thank you.

Sincerely,  
Meg Darcy

PS I would appreciate your discretion about discussing this meeting with others. 

 

At 2:25 a woman with short dark hair and thin glasses stepped into the Great Hall. She took a moment to admire the ceiling which was a bright blue with few clouds that day before she surveyed the room. In between meal times, the hall was almost empty but about half way down one of the long tables sat a girl with bushy hair and an upturned nose. She was immersed in reading some textbooks. 

Maerna approached her and glanced at the book-Advanced Potion Making. “How ironic that Severus and I were talking about that book just the other day,” Maerna thought. Then she said aloud, “What are you working on?”

Hermione’s head shot up. “Meg Darcy?” Maerna nodded. Hermione smiled in greeting and then scowled. “I’m trying to work on Galpolett’s 3rd Law. I’m usually very good at potions but this is driving me crazy.“

“May I?” Maerna gestured to the textbook which Hermione gladly handed over. Maerna skimmed it for a few minutes and then look up. “Galpolett’s 3rd Law is all about Synergy. The combined effect off the blended poisons is greater than considering each poison separately. For example 30 grams of aflatoxin is only ⅙ of which is required to be a lethal to humans. One mg of ricin also is not close to the lethal level, but when combined, they create a substance powerful enough to kill a person three times over. First you have to understand the level of antidote needed for each poison independently and then factor in the chemical imbalance when combined. If you start adding in a third or fourth poison, it gets really crazy.”

“Wow!” said Hermione. “That makes sense. Thank you. You must be a master potioneer.”

Darcy just shrugged, “I didn’t come to talk about potions. Is there a private place we can discuss some things.”

“Sure, let me just gather my things.” Hermione collected her books and headed toward the door. 

As she passed into the hallway, a boy from Slytherin bumped into her rather obviously trying to make her books fall. He laughed obnoxiously and yelled out, “So sorry, Mudblood” and sauntered away. 

Maerna stepped up and helped the teenager with her stuff. As she handed it to the girl, Maerna had a strange look on her face. “You are muggleborn?” she asked Hermione.

“Yes, are you going to be obnoxious now and tell me I’m worthless, too,” Hermione snapped.

Maerna smiled, “Hardly. In fact, I might just trust you more because of it.”

 

Ten minutes later, they were settled into an empty classroom. “You were in luck,” Hermione said, “that I actually had a break during this bell. My schedule is rather full.” Maerna ignored the comment. It wasn’t luck. Dumbledore had suggested it not just because Hermione had a break but Severus was in class during this block.

Maerna decided to be completely honest with her. She asked that Hermione not tell anyone including her best friends--not that Maerna didn’t think they should be trusted but the more who know, the harder it is to control. She explained her plan to help muggleborns and get them to safe locations if the Ministry fell and You-Know-Who took over. 

Hermione stared at her. “Do you really think that is going to happen?” she asked.

“Yes, I do. From everything I’ve seen. I think it’s a very good possibility.” Maerna said.

“What about their muggle families?” Hermione asked her eyes growing wider.

“Well, as long as the witch or wizard related to them hasn’t caused problems, I don’t seem as You-Know-Who’s top priority, but if that magical person has caused his ire, I can seem him using the family as retribution.” Maerna answered honestly.

Hermione swallowed, “Thank you. I have a lot to think about. Now let’s talk about Protean Charms.” Hermione explained about the coins and how they worked. She and Meg planned together for about an hour. “This might just work,” the older woman thought.


	30. The Task Completed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maerna reached the edge of the crowd and pushed her way in. There he lay, her mentor, her advisor, almost like a grandfather to her, dead. As she stood there, staring into bleakness, she heard rumors floating around her.  
> “Snape, did this.”  
> “Did you hear Professor Snape killed Dumbledore.”  
> “That isn’t possible.”  
> “Harry Potter saw it.”

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

By the end of May, Maerna was ready to go home. Her health was improving and she was going stir-crazy sitting in Severus’s chambers everyday, all day. Maerna could tell he was worried about her leaving.

“I’ll be fine, Severus. I’ve lived alone in that cottage before, you know.” This was the third of such arguments between them this week but the wizard hadn’t budged. 

His black eyes narrowed on her, “I’m well aware of that, but that was before you had a near death experience. Plus, with the blood bond. The distance might impact us especially for the first few months.”

“Severus, you can’t keep me locked up in here. I’ll go crazy. Please trust me. Let me go back. I want to walk in the sunshine. I want to see the sky. I want a space that is longer than twenty paces by twenty paces,” Maerna pleaded.

Finally Severus relented, “Okay,” he said. He sat next to her and held her face between his two calloused hands. “But promise me that the moment you start to feel a relapse, you’ll come back here. I’ll have Albus set it up so you can floo straight into his office.”

“I promise,” Maerna said simply. Severus looked at her intently and then leaned closer to her and Maerna closed her eyes, small butterflies fluttering in her stomach. He lightly kissed the end of her nose and then pulled back. Disappointment flooded through her. 

“Severus, why won’t you kiss me?” she asked. “Is it because of Lily?”

Severus froze and took a deep breath, “No, it’s not actually about Lily. The blood bond. . .well, I feel closer to you than I ever did her. Maerna it’s not that I don’t want to, believe me, I very much do, but something is coming close, very close and I’m not sure how you are going to react to it. I don’t want to pull you in deeper unless you accept that event.”

Maerna’s eyes narrowed shrewdly. “You mean the unknown task that’s been plaguing you for almost a year. Severus, please let me in. Confide in me. Talk to me about it. I’m not going to judge you.”

“Are you sure about that?” Severus’s eyes were filled with pain. “I judge myself everyday because of it. Wait until after the task is done. Then make your decision if you truly want me or not. Get your stuff packed. I’ll take you back to the cottage after dinner.” Severus gave her one last harrowing look and left.

 

______________________________________________________

Three days later, Maerna was sitting at the cottage’s kitchen table nursing a cup of tea and staring off into space. What was this task that Severus had been assigned? Why did he worry that her feelings would change after it? She could imagine several horrendous things that the Dark Lord might assign him, but, Maerna’s gut feeling told her this order came from Dumbledore. What could he have possible asked of Severus that upset him so much? Maerna sighed. She had lots of questions and only time would give her answers.

Just then Maerna heard a shout. She looked out the door to see Remus waving just beyond the wards. A smile came to her lips. She ran outside and reached through the wards. Remus immediately accepted the hand that mysteriously appeared in front of him and was pulled through. As soon as he was through, he picked Maerna up and swung her around as she giggled. “I’ve missed you,” he said as he set her down.

Maerna smiled. “How did you know I was home?”

“Oh, I was talking to a little bird yesterday and he mentioned that you were done traveling with your husband, so I thought I’d come by. He’s not here, is he?” Remus craned his neck around her.

“No, he didn’t come back with me,” Maerna said quietly. 

Remus saw the hurt in her eyes and flung his arm around her neck. “Come on, Meg. I’m glad you are back. We have a lot of catching up to do.”

Maerna and Remus continued to make plans. They had established a base of operation in a small, out of the way muggle town. Maerna continued to add to their potions, so they had a copious amounts of polyjuice potion, dittany, blood replenishing, and a variety of antidotes and other needed potions. She was contemplating learning how to brew Veritaserum. She had also gone to several thrift stores and bought a variety of muggle clothing in various sizes along with other supplies needed for disguises. She showed him a bag of galleons that had the Protean charm on them. Remus inspected them, quite impressed with Hermione’s work. 

Throughout the week, they continued to plan. How many people should they trust? How do we know they can be trusted? Given Remus’s history of friends betraying friends, he was weary of pulling in too many people and Maerna agreed. They needed a person, besides Tonks, inside the ministry. “What we really need is timely information,” Maerna explained. “Whom will be picked up and when? But it’s going to be practically impossible for one of us to get a job there.”

“I don’t know about when, but we might be able to get a good idea of who. Who keeps records of muggleborn versus pureblood?” Remus asked.

Maerna shrugged, “The Ministry, I suppose.”

“True,” Remus said, “but so does Hogwarts. The headmaster needs to know which new students have never heard of magic before they get their letters.”

So, they acquired lists of muggleborns from Dumbledore and began to go through them. Where did they live? Did they have family? For several days, Meg and “Lykos”, under the guise of polyjuice, visited the muggleborns, encouraging them to prepare and asking questions to determine their resources. 

However, by the end of the week, Maerna could feel herself relapsing. She was losing more and more energy and no amount of sleep seemed to help.

“You look terrible, Meg,” Remus observed, late one evening.

“I know. Remus, I’m going to put this on hiatus for a while. I just don’t have the energy to do anything,” Maerna struggled.

“What do you want me to do?” Remus asked

“Nothing, I’ll be away for a few days. I’ll contact you when I’m feeling better.” Maerna didn’t explain more. She simply stumbled into the living room. By the time, Remus followed her, she had already disappeared into the floo. 

Twenty minutes later, she was snuggled up on Severus’s bed, his arm wrapped tightly around her. She could feel the energy pouring back to her. “Severus, I think we need to talk more about blood bonds,” she murmured before she drifted off to sleep. 

 

__________________________

Maerna woke up the next morning, feeling refreshed and energized. She glanced over to the small table and there lay a single white rose on top of a book. A small note attached read, “Here’s a book, I thought you’d enjoy. I missed you while you were gone. See you tonight.” Maerna flipped through the book. Chapter 14, entitled Blood Bonding, has been marked for her. Maerna smiled to herself. Trust Severus to make a book a romantic gesture.

The book was very old and the language archaic, but Maerna plowed through. It explained that blood bonding created a mutual symbiotic relationship between the two people. Their life energy flowed back and forth. Distance could make the bond fade as could severe negative emotions direct, especially in the early stages of the bonding. The bonded could often sense when the other was in severe physical or emotional pain.

Severus came back for dinner. He looked anxious but when Maerna pressed, he drew away. The evening was quiet until just before midnight when they heard banging and shouting in the corridors. Severus jumped up and grabbed his wand.  
Just then the outside door burst open and Professor Flitwick came bursting in, “Severus, Death Eaters in the castle, near the Astronomy Tower, come quickly.”

Severus didn’t say a word. He just aimed his wand at the tiny charms professor and a jet of red hit him in the chest. Then he turned to Maerna and said quickly but quietly. “Go back into the bedroom. Do not come out. Do you understand me? Do not come out!” His eyes blazed into her waiting for an answer. In shock, she nodded. He reached out and grabbed her into a quick hug whispering, “I’ll find you” and disappeared into the corridor. 

Maerna sat on the edge of the bed still trying to wrap her head around what happened. It sounded like a battle out there. Part of her wanted to fight but part of her knew that was foolish. She had no wand. All of the sudden, she felt a wave of cold fury wash over her, a mixture of rage and agony penetrated to her bones. What was that? Why did that happen? Was that part of the bond? Is that how Severus felt? Clumsily, she put on her boots and grabbed her cloak. She ran to the entrance hall just in time to see Severus hauling a blonde haired boy out the front doors. 

“Severus!” she called out. He turned around once and mouthed some words. “I’m sorry.” Then he disappeared into the night. She was just about to rush after him when Harry Potter came flying down the marble staircase and out the same doors. Just after him were several Death Eaters. Maerna knew it was foolish to go out with a wand, but she didn’t care. She followed Harry toward the front gates. A curse flew over her and missed her by inches. She finally saw them within sight. Severus had his wand out on Harry’s prone figure, anger etched into his face like stone. “No,” she thought. “This can’t be happening. Why would Severus attack, Harry?” Suddenly a hippogriff came flying in and lashed at Severus with his sharp claws. Severus beat him back for just a second and then ran to the gates. Within seconds, the man she loved disappeared leaving her with feelings of confusion and despair.

 

_____________________________________

 

Whether it was a few seconds, a few minutes or a few hours, Maerna wasn’t sure, but she became aware of a crowd gathering at the base of the tallest tower. She wandered toward the group. As she neared, she tripped over something. Lookin at her feet, she realized it was a wand--Albus Dumbledore’s wand. She picked it up and contemplated why it was here. She glanced up at the tower and a feeling of dread began to fill her. Slowly, she walked toward the crowd as if in a trance. Someone brushed by her. It was a redhead girl escorting Harry Potter back inside. He looked as broken as Maerna felt.

Maerna reached the edge of the crowd and pushed her way in. There he lay, her mentor, her advisor, almost like a grandfather to her, dead. As she stood there, staring into bleakness, she heard rumors floating around her. 

“Snape, did this.” 

“Did you hear Professor Snape killed Dumbledore?”

“That isn’t possible.”

“Harry Potter saw it.”

Maerna’s head snapped up. Snape did this. Severus killed him. She closed her eyes as nausea washed over her. This was the task. This was what he had been dreading. It must have been the Dark Lord’s order for him to kill Dumbledore. How could he do this? What did it mean?

As she looked around, reality set in. No one here knew who she was. No one could vouch for her. She would be an immediate suspect in whatever happened this night. She reached down and stroked Dumbledore’s hand once. Then she placed his wand in it and crossed it over his chest. Slowly she backed away and disappeared into the night. It never occurred to her that she had touched Dumbledore’s wand and it didn’t burn her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story is about 60% done. Please let me know your thoughts on it!


	31. Putting the Pieces Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How could you,” she hissed. “I’ve spent the last few hours trying to understand, thinking I’m missing something but all I come up with is you are a murderer.”

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

Severus apparated in front of the ornate iron gate of Malfoy Manor. Draco and the other Death Eaters had already passed them by and were making their way into the large house. Severus strode up the gates and saluted to them with his left hand. He passed through them as if they were smoke. 

The Dark Lord had designated Malfoy Manor his new home just a week ago--no doubt more retribution for Lucius and now Draco’s failures. I wonder what the Dark Lord will do to the boy, Severus thought as he entered the large entranceway. Noises could be heard from the library and Severus turned in that direction. As he entered the room, he took a deep breath. He could almost feel the glowing warmth from the blood bonding ritual, but now it was replaced with cold evil. He glanced over at Narcissa and could tell that she was thinking the same thing but such things mattered not at the moment. Draco and Amycus were kneeling in front of the Dark Lord about to give their report. Severus joined them.

“The deed is done, my lord,” Draco said.

“Yes, but did you do the deed?” Voldemort’s high clear voice radiating throughout the room.

Draco said nothing for a moment and then turned toward Severus and sneered, “I would have if Snape hadn’t barged in and taken over. I had already disarmed him before Snape. . .” He let his voice die out. Severus smirked on the inside. How very Slytherin of Draco to attempt to manipulate the situation.

“Is this true?” Voldemort turned toward Severus.

“Yes, my lord. Several members of the Order were behind me and soon to be on us. I did not think it prudent to waste time. The deed needed to be done then. There was no time for discussion. I apologize if I overstepped my bounds.” Severus said.

Voldemort sat quietly and then he began to laugh. His laughed echoed off the chamber like arrows of ice hitting the walls. “Well done, my Death Eaters, Well, done! It is time to celebrate. He called in for some elf-made wine and made a toast, “To the death of an old fool.”

Severus followed in kind but barely sipped his wine. After everyone else had drained their glasses and were moving on to seconds, Voldemort motioned Severus forward. He looked at him straight in the eye. “Well done, Severus. Well done. You have proven yourself a most loyal and worthy servant and Lord Voldemort rewards those who are so worthy. What can I give you?”

“Just serving you is honor enough, my Lord.” Severus said humbly.

“Of course it is,” Voldemort said waving his hand lazily, “but I wish to reward you with something more tangible.”

Severus hesitated. Would the Dark Lord accept his request? “Sir, if it so pleases you, I would request to keep the girl for my own.”

“The impudent squib?” Voldemort narrowed his eyes in anger. 

Severus was afraid that he had made matters worse. That the Dark Lord would demand that she be brought before him that instant. Severus closed his eyes, “Dear Lord, Protect her. Help me protect her,” he prayed silently.

After what seemed like an eternity, Lord Voldemort relented. “If that is what you want, then take her.”

Severus couldn’t believe it. Maybe, Maerna was right about the power of prayer. “Thank you, my Lord,” he groveled. 

Just then, Bellatrix came to the door. “My Lord, a message. The aurors are coming to search the house.” Lord Voldemort nodded and turned to Severus, “You’ll take the boy with you and keep an eye on him?” 

“Of course, my Lord.”

“Good, then go until I call you again.” Severus bowed once more and stalked out of the room. 

He grabbed Draco by the collar. “We’re leaving now. Go say goodbye to your mother.” Draco nodded numbly and walked over to her. Her pale blue eyes looked beyond her son to Severus. “Thank you,” she mouthed with tears in her eyes. “Thank you.” Severus gave her a curt nod. Then he grabbed Draco under the arm and dragged him to the apparition point. 

 

______________________

When Maerna finally stumbled back through the door, the cottage was dark, damp, and lonely. She waved her hand to turn on some lights and went down to check on her first attempts at Veritaserum. Damn, it was ruined. She threw it out and began again but her heart wasn’t into it. Where was Severus? Was he okay? Did she even want to see him? She was still going through shock and couldn’t believe that Severus had murdered Albus Dumbledore, but it was the only thing that made sense.

A noise alerted her that someone was entering the wards. She tiptoed up the stairs keeping close to the wall to avoid squeaks. she heard his voice in the living room along with another. Slowly she stepped into the light. 

“Maerna,” Severus said softly, his voice pleading. 

She walked toward him, never taking her eyes off of his face. He tried to understand what she was thinking but she was prepared for that, so he got nothing until SLAP across his face made his neck snap back.

“How could you,” she hissed. “I’ve spent the last few hours trying to understand, thinking I’m missing something but all I come up with is you are a murderer. Not just any murderer but the killer of a man who was always there for you, who loved you.”

His face turned iced cold. “If that is what you think, so be it,” he spit back at her. He pointed to the blonde haired young man, the same one who had knocked into Hermione and called her a mudblood just a few weeks ago. “It was supposed to be Draco’s job but he didn’t have the guts to do it. I knew he wouldn’t be able to do it as did his mother, Narcissa.”

“Narcissa?” Maerna stared between the two men. “Narcissa is your mother?” The young man nodded. Maerna didn’t say anything but continued to stare at the pair of men before finally resting on Severus. “It was Narcissa. You made the Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa to help Draco with killing Albus.”

Severus nodded, “and to do the deed if he was unable to follow through.” Draco sent a loathing look at the older wizard but kept his mouth shut. 

Maerna closed her eyes, “No, that isn’t it,” she replied almost to herself. “I missing something, something important.” Severus didn’t say a word just stared at her with his blank face. 

Memories started to flow through her. Pictures of events and words that she had shared with Severus or Dumbledore tumbled across her mind like garden gnomes on the run from a gardener. Finally they began to calm down and to sort themselves into some sort of logical order.

__

__

_“What is more preferable? Completing the task or dieing?” she asked.  
“Dieing,” he replied without hesitating.. . . . . . ._

Severus obviously didn’t want to to do the task. She had watched it tear him apart bit by bit during the last few months. 

_“I just can’t pretend anymore.” Severus’s voice increased with every word. “ I can’t pretend that the task he gave me is just a simple request. I can’t pretend that, not just my life but my soul is not on the line every day with every decision I have to make. . . . . . ._

The task was so horrible that it wasn’t just his life he was worried about but his soul. Surely Albus wouldn’t have have made a request of Severus that could potentially malign his soul.

_A quote from Dumbledore flashed across her brain.“The task that Severus was assigned. I’m not saying if I assigned him the task or if Voldemort did, but when he completes the task, he will need you more than ever. . . . . ._

Dumbledore did know about the task before hand. He knew that Voldemort had commanded Draco to kill him. Why would Albus go along with the plan? What exactly was she missing? Her thoughts moved to a conversation she had had with the headmaster the first time she saw his damaged hand.

_“Your hand, it’s connected to the condition I saw Severus in when I visited him at Spinner’s End. Isn’t it? He said that he had ordered Severus to complete a task, a task that was sending him into a downward spiral. I assumed the ‘he’ was the Dark Lord, but now I’m not so sure.”_

Unless, Albus’s death didn’t matter because he was already. . . . A picture of she and Dumbledore at their last meeting jumped into her mind. She could sense how much the dark magic had grown in his hand. What was it he said?

_“I did something rather foolish last summer and this is the consequence. I suspect that it will no longer be an issue in a month or two.”_

She looked around the room as the memories fell into place and focused on Severus’s apprehensive face.

“His hand,” Maerna whispered. “It’s all about that shriveled hand.” She gulped several times and prepared to speak.

Severus waved his hand and silenced her before anything else could pass her lips.. She threw daggers at him with her eyes, continued to try to muttered until she finally calmed down enough to understand that they couldn’t speak safely there. Severus removed the spell and she turned to the blonde boy huddled in the far corner. 

“Draco, isn’t it?” The boy nodded, confusion and fear across his features. “Your mother is a wonderful lady. I met her not long ago and I admire her very much. However, your father is a louse. I hope he rots in Azkaban. You will have to choose whom you will follow.” Maerna pointed through the doorway to her room. “You can sleep there tonight. Severus, may we talk?” Severus nodded as she tossed a blanket at Draco, grabbed Severus’s hand and led him into his bedroom. She shut the door firmly.

 

She moved her hand around the room to place a silencing charm on the room and then faced him. “He was dying wasn’t he? His hand, the curse in it kept growing. I could sense it” 

Severus dropped to the bed. Sadness enveloped his entire face. “Yes, he only had a few weeks to go at most. Honestly, I’m not sure where he was that night but wherever he was, he came back very sick. He may have had only hours to live. ”

Maerna knelt down next to him. “He knew the Dark Lord had assigned Draco to kill him, so he requested that you do it instead--to save Draco from committing murder… to save an innocent from being marked forever with an unspeakable evil.”

Severus nodded silently.

“Oh, Severus, I’m so, so, sorry. I can’t believe he asked that of you, but I can believe that you are brave enough to be able to do it.” She stood up, so he had to tilt his head up to see her. She placed her hands in his hair and looked deep into his eyes. “I made a promise to Albus, too. He told me that after you completed the task, that you would need me more than ever. I’m keeping my promise. I’m here for you until the end.”

“Thank you,” he whispered. “Thank you for always being here for me.”

Maerna leaned over until they were only centimeter apart. “Always,” she whispered back. He leaned in the rest of the way and their lips met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you all think? Drop me a line. I'd love to hear from you.


	32. Celebrations and Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He stared out the window for a moment longer and then said, “Can you find out who among the order is dead or wounded? I think I might have accidently.

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

That summer was a strange one. Everyone knew that Voldemort had the upper hand. Everyone knew that he was slowly chipping away at the Ministry of Magic. It wasn’t a question of if the ministry would fall but when.

Severus came and went, rarely talking about what he was doing or where he was going. Maerna didn’t ask much. She figured, he was forced to participate in some horrible events and there was no need to make him relive them for her curiosity. She did however notice that he seemed to move deeper and deeper into himself. His eyes developed a haunted look and several times one of his nightmares had awakened her. 

Maerna was busy too. She and Remus were trying to convince muggleborns that it was time to go into hiding, but few listened. This was their home. They believed in their ministry’s delusions of safety, or at least pretended they did. Severus never asked her where she was either. It was a mutual understanding to keep those parts of their lives separate from each other in case the worse happened to either one of them.. 

Yet, despite their secrets, they were growing closer and closer. Maerna could sense the golden cord strengthening and growing thicker with each day. Nights belonged to them. Nights were when nothing else mattered, not the muggleborns, not the potion research, not even Voldemort. Nights were reserved for kisses and caresses. Every night, Maerna fell asleep in his arms and woke up with a smile on her face ready to face another day until she remembered what that day would bring.

One evening, Severus came home earlier than Maerna had expected. She had put on her best robe and was dabbing some perfume behind her ears when he entered the bedroom. He surveyed the scene silently. “Do you have a date or are you just meeting someone special?” He worked to keep the jealousy out of his voice but failed miserably. 

She turned from the mirror and gave him her warmest smile. “Of course not. Not unless you are coming with me.” His shoulders instantly relaxed. He walked across the room and slipped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. She looked at him carefully in the mirror’s reflection before twisting around in his arms and sliding her hands around his neck. “A dear friend is getting married and I’d like to be there.”

“A muggle friend from Oxford?” he suggested although, considering what she was wearing, he knew better.  
Maerna sighed and pulled him close. “I’ll be home a couple of hours. I expect this to be a small wedding and probably short. Do you think you’ll be here when I get back?”

“I hope so,” he murmured.

“Good,” she smiled and leaned in for a long kiss. The heat from the kiss passed from her lips into the center of her being. She wished it could go on forever, but they both had things to do. She pulled back and smiled. “Then wait up for me.”  
Severus nodded. She disentangled herself from his arms, walked toward the fireplace and disappeared.

 

The service was simple but sweet. There were only a handful of guests. Tonk looked absolutely radiant in a simple white dress and her favorite pink hair. Remus looked as nervous could be and Maerna gave him a thumbs up as he walked down the aisle. He responded with a tight smile. “He’s still not completely comfortable with this,” Maerna thought. “I wish he could see the wonderful guy that Tonks and I see. I hope this lack of self-confidence doesn’t hinder their marriage.” 

After the service, they had cake and punch. Remus looked considerably more relaxed, even pausing to grab his new wife’s hand and whisper in her ear which made her blush. Eventually, he made it over to Maerna. “Hello, Meg. I’m so glad you could make it. May I present my wife, Dora.” Maerna smiled and extended her hand out. She had actually met Tonks once as Maerna but as far as they were concerned Maerna was no longer a part of their world, Meg was. Maerna was part of another world. A world that included having tea next week with Narcissa Malfoy and Giada Goyle. “Keeping lives separate,” she thought. 

Maerna soon left the reception and flooed to Diagon Alley. From there, she found a quiet spot to exchange her dark bobbed hair for her golden locks and to hide her glasses and change her eye color back to brown. Then she slipped back into the floo system at The Leaky Cauldron and headed home.

She arrived back at the cottage about ten and Severus was waiting, with a glass of firewhiskey in hand. Maerna deftly relieved him of it and set it on the end table. He glanced up. “You came back.”   
She gave him a dark look, wiggled onto his lap and began to play with the top button of his shirt. “After everything we’ve been through, do you think I would lie to you.” 

“No,” he gulped. “I’m sorry. I doubted you.”

Maerna sighed and pulled back. “Severus, whatever you ask, I will tell you. Just be sure that you want to know the answer before you ask.”

He nodded solemnly. “I don’t need to know anything right now.”

“Okay, good.” Maerna smiled mischievously as her fingers undid the next button, “Because I’m not in the mood for talking.”  
Severus smiled back at her, “Neither am I.”

 

_____________________________

Just over a week later, Severus came home very late and very upset. Maerna didn’t push but simply handed him a shot of firewhiskey, which he gulped down without realizing it, and then some tea. He paced the room for several minutes before he stopped at her. “That wedding that you went to last week. It was that werewolf’s and the Metamorph’s, wasn’t it? “ 

Surprised, Maerna took a second to respond. “Yes.” She had a feeling, this wasn’t why he was so upset.

“The Dark Lord knows of the wedding. He suggested that certain family trees needed to be pruned. Bellatrix, particularly, seemed to take his words to heart.” Severus said.

“Thank you,” Maerna said quietly. “I’ll tell them to keep their guard up.”

Severus continued to pace for several more minutes before he came to his dilemma. “Maerna, I need a favor of you.” He launched into how the Death Eaters knew when the Order of the Phoenix were moving Harry Potter and an ambush had been planned but there were seven Potters instead of one. In the chaos, Potter had escaped and was now safely hidden by one of the order.

“Severus, what is the favor?” Maerna asked when he eventually paused.

He stared out the window for a moment longer and then said, “Can you find out who among the Order is dead or wounded? I think I might have accidentally. . . “

Maerna closed her eyes, “Who Severus? Who am I checking up on?”

“I don’t know. It was one of the Potters. Although I don’t think it was THE Potter. Can you ask around without causing suspicion,” He plopped down heavily down next to her and begged silently with his dark eyes.

Maerna stroked his hair and nodded. “I’ll try to find out tomorrow. I’m impressed though, Severus.”

“With what?” Severus asked.

“Well,” she said shrewdly, “I assume as soon as they left Harry’s house and saw your lot, they scattered. I’m impressed you were able to count with all that flying and curses flying everywhere. How is it that you are so sure they were seven Potters?” Maerna wiggled her eyebrows at him and he shook his head. He wasn’t going to answer her but really there was no reason to.

Two days later, Remus and Tonks met her at their new headquarters. They had only convinced two families with muggleborns to flee the country. The Ministry was keeping everything so quiet that few realized how dire the situation really was. “And now that Azkaban is empty, he’ll have even more numbers,” Maerna said rather absentmindedly. 

“How do you know that?” Remus said sharply. 

“Are you telling me it’s not true?” Maerna asked.

“No, it’s true. I just want to know where you are getting your information. The Ministry has been keeping it very hush, hush.” Remus said.

“That’s true, but there are some in the Ministry that do know and I have my sources,” said Maerna implying that her source was in the Ministry.”

“Will this source help us?’ Tonks asked skeptically. 

“Not directly,” Maerna said. “He or she doesn’t want to get involved but sometimes drops tidbits that I find useful which I will of course relay. Now where are we going to night.”

“To a friend’s house,” Remus explained. “There will be several people there who might be helpful and I want to introduce you to them.”

They apparated to a tall, odd structure that Maerna assumed was a house. It had to be a magical house because that was the only explanation for keeping it aloft. “Welcome to the Burrow, Meg.” A tall, red hair gentleman in his early 50s came striding toward them with his hand extended.

Meg flashed him a smile. “You must be related to the twins.”

“Why?” he asked looking alarmed. “What have they done now?”

“Absolutely nothing. They have been wonderfully helpful since I met them a year ago.”

Mr. Weasley’s face changed into a relaxed smile as he grabbed her arm and led her through the wards. On the other side were a variety of people, some she recognized from previous engagements and others she only knew by reputation. Remus walked around and introduce her to Kingsley, an auror with Tonks, Bill and his fiance as well as the younger two Weasley children and Harry Potter. Hermione came up and gave her a big hug and asked about the Protean charms to which Maerna gave a delightful report. 

When Fred and George came around form the other side of the house was when Maerna exclaimed, “What happened to your ear, George?” 

George reached over and gave her a peck on the cheek. “Just a little tousle with an ex-professor of mine. Evidently he decided the Sectumsempra was more appropriate than detention this time?”

Dinner was a scrumptious affair. Meg told everyone that she had never tasted such mouthwatering rolls and the roast beef was past delicious. Molly Weasley was definitely a gourmet cook and had lots of willing volunteers to taste her cooking. The conversation drifted from the Ministry to Mad-Eye. It had been a long time, since Maerna had just sat with a large group and enjoyed their company. She looked around the table. Her stomach suddenly felt like a sour, twisted knot. She found herself wondering against her will. “How many of us will be alive by the end of this war?” The question embedded itself into her brain. She knew it would affect how she saw them all now and in the future.

After dinner, the teenage trio of Harry, Hermione, and Ron disappeared upstairs, much to Mrs. Weasley chagrin. Maerna said she would go check on them and casually climbed the stairs towards the sounds of voices talking and exclaiming. They looked alarmed when she knocked and opened the door a sliver. She smiled broadly and held up her hands in innocence. “I don’t want to bother you for more than a moment. I know you are planning something and I don’t want to know what it is. I just came to give you this,” passing over one of the charmed galleons to Hermione. “If you ever need anything, find me and I’ll try to help-no questions asked.”

“Thank you,” Harry took the enchanted galleon from her. “That means a lot.”

“You have lots of friends, Harry. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.” Maerna said and then closed the door, praying those three would make it out of the war alive. 

An hour later, she returned home. She slipped into bed and wrapped her arms around Severus’s sleeping figure. He immediately woke up with questions in his eyes.

“Mad-eye is dead-the Dark Lord’s work. George Weasley’s ear was cursed off but he’s doing fine and has high spirits,” she whispered. He simply nodded and pulled her tighter. Maerna voicelessly wondered, “Would this ever be truly over.”


	33. The Underground Railroad that is Actually a Railroad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inside they met their conductor who passed out their tickets and gave strict instructions about where to sit on the train. Fifteen minutes later, nine muggleborn refugees and their leader were gliding under the English channel.

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

It happened on a Thursday, Maerna would recall years later. Thursday, August 1st. The beginning of the end. The fall of the Ministry. She didn’t even realize anything had happened until the next morning when an owl delivered the Daily Prophet with a screaming headline-Scrimgeour resigns Thickness new Minister of Magic. Maerna sat down heavily on the sofa and rubbed her eyes. Severus hadn’t been home in two days and now she knew why. What had he been forced to do? Who had been injured? Who had died? Had they caught Harry at the Burrow? Millions of questions swarmed around in her head. 

She jumped up and raced to the fireplace and flooed to her group's headquarters. Once there, Maerna paused and looked around. It appeared to be a small cottage but appearances in the world of magic are often deceiving. There was one large room with a large table for planning and a small kitchenette in one corner. An old couch and chair resided in another. A hallway let down to what appeared to be two bedrooms, but in reality, several small rooms with hidden entrances branched off from it. Another door led down the basement. 

Maerna quietly slipped over to the most secure door of the hidden rooms all. She pressed her hand against a painting and mumbled the incantation. A panel slid open to reveal a small closet. Everything was there. Bottles and bottles of various potions all labeled in code. A suitcase full of hairs, all neatly categorized by age, gender and clothing size. The galleons that Hermione had made for her. A few extra wands but most importantly no message from Remus. She left a message for him and slipped out returning home before Severus did.

The next day, some of her questions were answered. The front page on the Saturday paper displayed a huge picture of Harry Potter beneath the headline: Wanted for Questioning in the Death of Albus Dumbledore. “At least, Harry is alive,” she murmured as she turned the page. The next article made her stomach drop. She had been right and it had already begun. All muggleborns were to register and be interrogated by the Ministry.

Two days later, Severus finally appeared strain and exhaustion etched in his face. Maerna handed him a firewhiskey and a tea, quickly becoming a tradition upon Severus’s return home, but he waved them away and just pulled her into his arms. He didn’t say a word but reached down and hungrily claimed her mouth. Maerna could feel his need, his desire for love, the reassurance that all hope wasn’t lost. She wrapped her arms around his neck and assured him that, as long as she was alive, he would always be loved.

Later than evening, Maerna was cooking some dinner while Severus stared at his cup of cold tea. “Maerna, I’ve received a promotion,” Severus said.

“A promotion?” Maerna asked. No doubt there was a pecking order within the Death Eaters but she didn’t realize it was such an organized hierarchy. 

Severus nodded, “The Dark Lord had named me Headmaster of Hogwarts.”

Maerna stopped stirring and crossed over the room. She knelt beside him. “Wow. I can’t decide say I’m surprised. Should I say congratulations?”

Severus just grimaced. “Albus said the same thing. He thought this might happen.”

Maerna nodded, “Well, you’ll be in a good position to keep watch over the children, try to keep them safe and look at the bright side of this.”

He looked at her quizzically. Maerna explained “If I remember correctly from my visits to the headmaster’s office as headmaster, you’ll be able to talk to Dumbledore’s portrait whenever you want. You can get advice and well... I know you miss him very much.” Maerna’s eyes filled with sympathy but Severus refused to give into emotion. 

“Will you come with me to Hogwarts?” he asked, hope laced through his words. 

Maerna hesitated but shook her head no. She had a job to do. A job that would be much easier without Severus around. “I’ll come visit you often though.” 

Severus didn’t ask questions and he didn’t push. “Okay, please be careful and do visit often. I will need a kind face around occasionally.”  
“I will,” she promised.

________________

Finally, Remus showed up on Monday, looking very disheveled and refusing to talk about it. He said Tonks wouldn’t be able to help them nearly as much but again, no reason why. They met up with   
Lace and Jak, two of Remus’s friends who were willing to help. Everyone was using a pseudonym to protect the others.

“We have three families that are ready to leave. In each family, one of the parents is muggleborn,” Lace opened up the meeting.

“Is the spouse also coming?” Meg asked.

“In two of them, yes. In the other, the mother wants to stay. They want to pretend her family just disappeared and she has no idea where,” Lace explained.  
Lykos frowned, “Does she realize that she might be tortured to get that information?”

Lace shrugged. “They are convinced that this is short term and she doesn’t want to lose her job with the ministry.”

“Idiot,” Jak muttered and Maerna had to agree. 

“Okay, let’s start with phase #1. I have a block of Eurostar tickets. we’ll take them through the chunnel to France. Francois will meet me in Calais.” Meg pulled out a wad of tickets. “Everyone will need Muggle IDs. Jak, are you on it?”

Jak pulled out some muggle pictures. “I got their pictures when I talked to them. I’ll have them ready by this evening.”

They continued to plan for a few more minutes before breaking up. Lace left while Jak disappeared into the back room to work on the fake IDs. Remus just sat there staring ahead.

“Do you want to talk about it? Maerna grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

Remus gave her a tight smile. “I saw Harry yesterday.” 

Maerna’s eyes widened in surprise. “Is he?”

“He’s fine, as are Hermione and Ron,” Remus cut her off. “Harry called me a coward and he’s right. How can I face what I’ve done, but how can I not?” Remus dropped his head on the table and began to weep.

Maerna fixed a cup of tea from the kitchenette and slid it over the table. “Remus, what is going one?”

“Tonks is pregnant.” 

Silence filled the room as Maerna tried to decipher the concern. “Remus, both you and Tonks are half-bloods. I don’t think you have anything to worry a-”

“It’s not that,” Remus cut her off again. “It’s just, it’s me.” He proceeded to explain his concerns about passing on his lycanthropy and the stigma attached, how he offered to go with Harry to protect him. Maerna listened attentively.

“Well, I think Harry’s right about one thing and no, it’s not that you are a coward, because I don’t think you are. However, remember, it takes two to have a baby and Tonks is just as responsible for this as you are. She needs you with her, Remus. She needs her husband. Be the support she needs no matter what happens and I’ll be praying.” Maerna squeezed his hand.

“Thanks,” Remus said. His eyes were bloodshot and his face pale but he reached out and squeezed her hand back. 

 

________________________

The next day, Maerna slipped quietly from the bed as not to wake Severus. She snuck out of his room before the sun had risen over the tops of the trees and was waiting soon patiently on the corner of a muggle street in the town of Folkestone. Folkstone is a quaint town on the English channel, mostly known for its strategic location for shipping and most recently, the nearby Chunnel. 

Across the street, she saw a dark haired man with deep blue eyes. He was standing on the corner with a family of four. Down the block, a young woman stood with a man and his child. A block further was a similar scenario. What was similar about all three of these? They were all wizards. The adults all had fear in their eyes but listened carefully as their leader gave the directions. 

Almost simultaneously they all started walking away from their leaders and toward Maerna. Once she was sure they saw her, she casually strolled down the street giving them plenty of time. Then she cut across the street and entered the Chunnel station. Inside they met their conductor who passed out their tickets and gave strict instructions about where to sit on the train. Fifteen minutes later, nine refugees and their leader were gliding under the English channel. 

Thirty-five minutes later, they disembarked. Their conductor introduced them to Francois, wished each of them godspeed and disappeared as mysteriously as she had arrived. Maerna arrived back on English soil by 9 am and was cooking breakfast an hour later. Severus didn’t ask where she had been but she remarked that it was a beautiful day for a walk and he agreed.

Three or four days a week, Meg Darcy met different muggleborns and escorted them out of England-usually by Chunnel but once on an aeroplane.

About two weeks into August, Maerna was taking another group through the Chunnel. When they reached Calais, something was amiss. As they disembarked from the train, Maerna’s eyes roved around the crowd until she saw something that filled her with dread. Two wizards, their wands hidden but their style of clothing made them stand out like an American on the Continent. Maerna gulped when she recognized the large blonde, Dolohov.

Swiftly, she tapped her galleon to let Francois know not to come any closer and she searched for an escape. Where could she go that would hide seven people? She spotted Francois on the other side of the Death Eater, just as Dolohov spotted one of the muggleborn. He elbowed the one next to her and whispered to him. They started walking closer in a meandering way as to not alarm the crowds. Maerna turned to the father of the group and whispered quick instructions. He nodded as she grabbed someone’s coffee off a nearby table. The person started yelling at her but she ignored him. She walked straight to Dolohov. He wasn’t paying her any attention rather keeping an eye on the muggleborn’s family. Just as she neared him, she pretended to trip and proceeded to spill coffee down his muggle clothing. 

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry, “ she apologized profusely, “It’s all my fault.” Dolohov stared at her for a second, trying to comprehend what had just happened. As she went to pick up her cup, she sent a minor hex between the legs of the other, he doubled over, yelling in pain. 

Dolohov gave a quick glance at his partner and then seized Maerna by the arm. “What do you think you are doing, muggle?”

“Uumm, making a fool of myself. Look, mister, I’m sorry. I wasn’t watching were I was going. I apologize okay, nor harm, no foul.” Maerna shrugged her shoulders in an apologetic manner. She wiggled around hoping he would let her go, but his arm was like a steel trap. Maerna looked at him straight in the eye, “Mister, let me go,” she demanded, but he only tightened his hold. She sighed, “Don’t say I didn’t want you,” she said and placed her other hand on his chest, sending a stunning spell into his skin. Her spell wasn’t strong enough to knock him out but it sent him flying onto his butt. Just as he started to fall, she aimed a good kick at his partner, who also fell with an expletive. Before either one could scrambled to their feet, Maerna had disappeared into the crowd and the muggle family was long gone with Francois.

Maerna changed the color of her hair and shirt in the bathroom and ditched the glasses. She took the ferry back. It was slower but that was okay with her. She needed the time to think. The chunnel was now being guarded. It was time to go to phase #2-Portkeys. 

 

___________________________

When Maerna entered the cottage that evening, she was back to long blonde curls and brown eyes. Severus was sitting at the kitchen table, nursing an ale. He looked up as she came in and slid a piece of paper toward her. “This came by owl this morning. I have your birth certificate but can you get the rest of the paperwork?” 

Maerna skimmed through it. The Ministry of Magic wanted proof of her pure-blood status. She was scheduled to go into Ministry the following week for her interrogation. “Of course, they would,” she chided herself, “What didn’t I think consider this.” She turned her thought aloud. “I’ll owl my Uncle Brent. Will the birth certificates of my parents and grandparents issued by MACUSA be sufficient?” 

Severus nodded and said, “I’ll come with you.”

Maerna wrapped her arms around his shoulders and whispered in his ear, “Thank you.” Then as an afterthought, “Why do you have my birth certificate?”

The wizard froze for a minute before standing up to retrieve something from the backroom. It was a long, thin, metal box. As he neared, she realized it was a safe deposit box. Severus sat back down, rubbed the back of his neck and started his tale of trying to find her in the US. Some of which she knew, but the box was a new piece of the puzzle. “For some reason, your grandmother didn’t want the magical world to know that you existed. There wasn’t a clue in the house that you belong there. Everything about you was in here. “ He pushed the box to her and allowed her a few minutes. Inside were report cards, birth certificates, acceptance letters, family pictures. Her entire life contained in a box. 

The last items was a letter. It was sealed but addressed to her in her grandmother’s handwriting. Slowly Maerna broke the seal, her hands shaking.

 

My dearest Maerna,  
If you are reading this than I am probably singing with Angels in heaven. Please do not mourn but rejoice.   
I have a confession to make. I have kept something from you. I have denied you a major part of her heritage. It was a decision I did not take lightly, but I felt it was necessary to save you. I refuse to let a prophecy control you life or determine the end of it. I hope you can forgive me.

Love,  
Grandmother.

 

Tears were streaming down her face as she read it for the second time. Severus slowly took it out of her hands to read it himself. Then he pulled her into his lap and let her cry.


	34. Karma for Karden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m sorry, Philip,” Mr. Karden turned to his neighbor, “but they were looking everywhere. They know everything. They would have found out that I let you stay here and then. . then-”

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

The Conductors, as they called themselves, found their job more and more difficult. The time to register as a muggleborn was over. The Ministry was raiding houses of those who hadn’t registered. The rumors were, if found, the muggleborns were crucioed in front of their family and then dragged off, never to be seen again. Those who had registered weren’t fairing much better. Once taken to the Ministry for interrogation, they, too, never returned home.

Maerna tried to balance everything in her life. She and Severus had finished a prototype of the potion and were delaying its announcement to Lord Voldemort as long as possible. Maerna was invited to tea at some pure-blood’s house at least twice a week. Maerna suspected it was on the Dark Lord’s orders to keep an eye on her. She hadn’t been summoned her since her refusal to take an oath. Severus was very worried about why he hadn’t demanded it, but Maera refused to think about it. “I believe God is protecting me on this one,” she told him. Severus didn’t look convinced, but Voldemort had declared, while she was on the edge of death, that she was Severus’s to deal with and the Dark Lord was ignoring her for now.

Severus had left for Hogwarts. Because “no matter who is in charge of the Ministry, headmasters have a ridiculous amount of paperwork.” Maerna ignored his grumbling and kissed him goodbye before he stepped into the fireplace. One advantage to his promotion was his office was now connected to the floo network. Severus was only a floo stop away from home. 

A message from Jak, sent her out late one night. Lace and he had found some muggleborns hiding in their neighbor’s house. The neighbor was getting more and more nervous and wanted them out “for the safety of my own family. “ Maerna knocked on the door four times, paused and knocked twice. Slowly the door was opened by a portly man in his mid-forties, the neighbor, Mr. Karden. She gave him a predesignated password and he allowed her to pass. His shifty-eyes darted back and forth, making him appear either nervous or untrustworthy--maybe both. 

Jak was already there giving the fleeing family directions. The man, Philip, held out a bag of coins. “This is all I could take out of Gringotts. Since my wife is registered, she’s not allowed in the bank and my banking privileges were severely restricted.”

Maerna motioned him to put away the money. “Keep it for where you are going. Jak is going to apparate you to another location. Once we’re a safe distance away, we will portkey you out of the country.” She turned back to the owner of the house. “Thank you Mr. Karden for helping them. We’ll be out of your hair in just a few minutes. We’re just waiting for a signal.” 

Mr. Karden simply nodded and continued to stare at the group. Suddenly, there was a huge bang and the door blew off its hinges. Standing in the doorway were three man, all cloaked in black with the white masks on and wands raised. Philip immediately stood in front of his children and aimed his own wand.

“I’m sorry, Philip,” Mr. Karden turned to his neighbor, “but they were looking everywhere. They know everything. They would have found out that I let you stay here and then. . then-”

Maerna didn’t wait for the rest of his pitiful excuse. She threw a knife at one of the Death Eater which hit him right through the eye hole of his mask. He went down howling. The handle of the blade still protruding from his mask. Curses started flying everywhere and Jak shoved the father and children behind the couch. He had the emergency portkey but Maerna and the wife were too far away to reach. 

“Just go, Jak!” Maerna shouted at him. He hesitated only a second before giving her a curt nod, grabbing the children’s hands and motioning the husband to hold fast. The button turned blue and they were gone.

“No!” shouted one of the Death Eaters but the other told him to get the woman. She was what they wanted. Just then Mr. Karden fell to the floor with a crash that made the walls shake. His eye were wide open and his wand rolled to Maerna’s feet. The wife had a shield charm up but it was going to fail any second. Sure enough, she was hit with a stunner and fell into Maerna’s arms. 

Maerna picked up Karden’s wand just as the Death Eater rounded to the back of the bookshelf where they were hiding. “Put the wand down, nice and easy and I might let you live until tomorrow, Meg Darcy.” Maerna’s eyes shot up in surprise that he knew her code name. “Oh yes, you are becoming quite well known in the Ministry. You, your friend Lykos and now we’ll add, what was his name, Jak to the list. Each of you has a price on your head, didn’t you know? I think I’ll bring you in and get a nice bonus for today.” He smiled lewdly at her.

Maerna grabbed the unconscious woman’s hand and thought, if I actually pull this off, it’s going to hurt like hell. Using determination and deliberation, she focused on her destination with all her might and found herself sucked into a pinpoint of nothingness. 

“Ouch!” screamed Maerna as soon as she opened her eyes. She was at headquarters but pain shot through her arm and she was sure that she had burned it up to her shoulder like the last time she tried to use a wand. However, when she looked down, she realized that it wasn’t her wand arm but the other one that was injured. It wasn’t burned. It just look like someone had take a huge, serrated knife to it.

“Welcome back, Meg.” Jak said. “Wow, You really splinched yourself. How did you pull that off. I thought you were a squib.” 

Maerna didn’t say anything. She just stared at her arm in wonder. Remus came in the room and exclaimed, “What’s is going on in here?”

Maerna held up her arm and said, “Look Lykos. I splinched myself. Isn’t it great!” 

Remus grabbe a bottle of dittany started dabbing it on her left arm. “Do you mean to tell me, Meg, that you managed to apparate without a wand?” Remus shook his head and disbelief.

“Nope,” Maerna said. “It’s better than that. I apparated with a wand. Look.” She held out Mr. Karden’s wand. The wand that was being held in her unblemished wand hand.

 

________________

Maerna’s first impression of the Ministry of Magic was in their attempt to be majestic, they came off as corrupt and egotistical. The statue in the foyer certainly gave off that impression. Maerna stood below the Magic is Might abomination, keeping her focus above her head; however, her eyes kept wandering to the right where the wanted posters stood. Harry Potter’s was, by far the biggest, but Meg Darcy’s with a short, brown bobbed hair and glasses was easily visible. “Well, there goes that disguise. I guess that Death Eater was correct,” Maerna thought as Severus directed her away from the posters and toward the lifts. 

They took the lift down deep into the ministry and followed the corridor to Courtroom Ten. As they approached the double doors, Severus’s hand tightened on Maerna’s shoulder. “I had hoped never to see this place again,” he muttered. 

Maerna looked up at him. “When were you here last?” she asked.

Severus’s eyes chilled to black ice. “At my own trial in ‘81.” Pictures of defiant defendants still hoping for a grand rescue by their defense leader clambered into Severus’s head. He had recognize the evil and selfishness of Voldemort before the devilish leader had disappeared, leaving his followers to face the justice of magic’s courts. He remembered the doomed feeling in the pit of his stomach before Dumbledore had offered him a second chance.

“Oh” was the only thing Maerna could say before the dark doors opened and she was motioned inside by a smug looking ministry worker.

She was waved to a huge chair in the center of the large room. Around the chair was row upon row of amphitheater style seating. Almost immediately a chill settled over her seeming to gnaw at her very soul. She glanced up to see several dementors circling the ceiling above the chair she had been motioned to. They looked as if they were impedied by an invisible barrier. She tentatively sat down but kept her hands in her lap. Severus had warned her not to rest them on the chair’s arms less chains should pop out and attach to her wrists. A squat woman who resembled a toad sat upon the judge’s throne: Dolores Umbridge. A glowing cat patronus paced up and down next to her. “Well, that explains the barricade for the dementors. How ironic that sentencing wizards to prison or perhaps death gave Umbridge the happy experience to create a patronus,” Maerna considered. Actually, the more Maerna thought about it, it wasn’t ironic. It was just detestable and true about everything she knew about Umbridge 

“For the record, please state your name,” Umbridge asked in her sweetest, yet most sickening voice.

Maerna stilled her heart and cleared her mind. This woman was not going to see Maerna squirm. “Maerna Laurel Danazul.”

“Where were you born, Ms. Danazul?”

“Charlottesville, Virginia in the United States of America. It’s almost 200 kilometers southwest of Washington DC”

“An American?” Umbridge’s eyebrows shot up as if she was surprised. “What brings you to our little island?”

“I’m working here as a potions assistant to Professor Snape. He’s here on my behalf.” Maerna nodded her head toward Snape who was seated on one of the benches.

“Headmaster,” Umbridge turned towards Severus, her eyes hardened and then she simpered. “Congratulations on your promotion.”

“As to yours, Dolores,” referring to her current assignment. “Well, while I admire your tenacity in ridding our world of such muggle filth,” Severus sneered, “in this case it is not warranted. I would never take a muggleborn assistant. Maerna is of pureblood.”

“Of course, of course,” Umbridge tittered, “but I have had lots of mudbloods in here claiming pureblood but unable to produce the proof.”

“If you will, ma’am.” Maerna removed a batch of papers and a book from her satchel. Umbridge waved her wand and the evidence flew over to her bench. She reviewed them as Maerna explained. “There are copies of my birth certificate, both of my parents as well as all four grandparents, all of them certified by MACUSA. There’s also a copy of Nature’s Nobility: A Wizarding Genealogy: American Edition. I’ve marked the pages that shows my parents and grandparents within the pure-blood line.”

Umbridge leafed through the pages before turning her stare to Maerna. “Ms. Danazul, your parents and grandparents are in here but I don’t see you.”

“No ma’am. It was published before I came of age,” Maerna explained. She didn’t bother to point out that she wouldn’t have been part of the book, anyways, since MACUSA considered her a squib.

“Ms. Danazul, let me be frank with you. You are at this hearing because your status as a witch is being questioned. You didn’t even have a wand to bring in with you today,” Umbridge sneered.

“Is there a law that requires a witch to have a wand?” Maerna asked innocently.

“Don’t toy with me,” Umbridge snapped. “Law or not, every witch has a wand.”

“If I may clarify,” Severus’s smooth voice cut in. “Maerna is here to resolve two questions. First is she of pure-blood and second is she a witch. Correct?”  
Umbridge nodded, her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed.

“Are the birth certificates and book enough evidence to proof the status of her blood?” he asked.

Umbridge hesitated for a moment before, begrudgingly, admitting it was enough evidence. 

“Excellent. Then there’s just the question of her having magical powers. Would a small demonstration be enough?” Severus questioned and again Umbridge allowed.

Maerna smiled and reached out with her hand. Suddenly Umbridges wand was sailing in the air and landed in Maerna’s palm. Maerna the waved it as she focused on the ugly pink bow on Umbridge’s head. All of the sudden, “ribbit,” the bow was gone and a fat toad was sitting atop her hair. Umbridge started to screech as did her assistant for the frightened toad had jumped from Umbridge’s head to the desk to her arm and over onto her assistant’s lap. The toad then let out a resounding “BLURP” and belched out a large wad of vile smelling junk The Assistant screamed again and bolted for the door closest to her, leaving the toad free to hop along the desk.

Over the commotion, Severus called out. “I think we have proven our point. I expect the necessary paperwork to be completed today, Dolores. Maerna, give the woman her wand back.” Obligingly, Maerna sent the wand back to the owner as Severus summoned all of her paperwork and they walked out the doors. 

“Was that really necessary?” scowled Severus as they walked back toward the lifts.

“No,” Maerna admitted an impish smile tugging at her mouth, “but it was fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I had this great plan to rewrite all the chapter before I posted them, but it honestly hasn't been happening, so I give up and try to post all (or most) of them at one time.


	35. “The Truth is Rarely Pure and Never Simple” --Oscar Wilde

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus just shook his head, unwilling or unable to comprehend she was saying but he searched her eyes and found what he feared. “Do you love him?”  
> Maerna opened her mouth, trying to explain, trying to justify, “Remus, it’s much more complicated than that.”

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

 

Severus led her to the the row of fireplaces lining the walls of the main lobby. He looked at her intently as if staring at a complex puzzle. “Hogwarts?” he asked. Maerna nodded and stepped into the floo system.

Maerna looked around the headmaster’s office. Severus hadn’t changed it all that much. The puffing silver instruments resided in their place of honor as was the pensive. The major difference was a rather large portrait that hung directly behind the headmaster’s chair. “Albus!’ Maerna walked over with a huge grin on her face. “It’s good to see you.”

“Ah, Ms. Danazul. How are you?” Even the twinkling of his blue eyes had been caught by the painter. “Keeping busy?” he asked with a quick wink.

“Very much so, sir.” Maerna answered seriously. “There’s a lot to do. Some successful and some not.” Then she lowered her voice so only Dumbledore’s portrait could here. “Ted Tonks has taken off to protect his family. Remus offered our help but he wanted to stay in country, so I’m praying for him.” Dumbledore nodded, his mouth pulling into a sad frown.

“Ahem,” Severus cleared his throat and crossed his arms. “If you two are done whispering in code, Maerna and I need to have a discussion about what happened in the Ministry today. How long have you been able to use a wand?” His eyes narrowed on Maerna in an accusing way, a familiar scowl on his face.

Maerna turned from the portrait and faced the current headmaster. “I wasn’t trying to keep it from you, Severus. I just realized it two days ago and then by accident.” Maerna explained. 

“How?” Severus prodded. 

“Damn, how am I going to explain this?” Maerna thought. She opened her mouth once or twice before settling on an explanation. “I was in a sticky situation. A situation that required the use of a wand, so I used someone else’s. I assumed I would get burned when I attempted the spell but didn’t. Would you like to know the details?” she challenged him, her eyes never leaving his face. 

Severus watched her carefully some understanding dawning on him, “No, not today.” An uncomfortable silence filled the room. Maerna hated keeping secrets from him, but Severus understood the necessity and never asked what he didn’t need to know. Finally, he broke the silence. “So something has happened this summer that has allowed you to use a wand.”

“Actually, I think it was before that,” Maerna admitted. “I didn’t think about it at the time because I was in such shock,” Maerna shared what happened the night Dumbledore died, finding his wand and picking it up. Severus flinched but said nothing. “It never burned me,” she explained.

Severus and Dumbledore’s portrait exchanged glances. “Do you think the bonding allowed her to use a wand?” Severus asked the older wizard but the portrait merely shrugged his shoulders. “That’s as logical explanation as any. We really need to know more about the curse that started this”

Severus sighed and rolled his piercing dark eyes, “Well, certainly but that can wait. Right now I guess there is only one thing left to do,” Severus turned towards Maerna. “Maerna, it’s time to get you your first wand.”

________________________

The next morning, Maerna sat at the teacher’s table with her tea and scones. Severus had pointed out that she was going to be at Hogwarts a lot so the teachers should get use to her presence. “Although, don’t expect them to take a liking to you,” he warned. Maerna wasn’t worried. She wasn’t there to make friends. Maerna was leafing through the Daily Prophet. A list of muggleborns who hadn’t yet registered was listed on the second page. Maerna scanned through them and smirked. Half of them hadn’t come forth because the Conductors had already smuggled them out of the country.

As Maerna was finishing up an article, a tall, woman with impeccable posture came striding into the hall, set down a plate and poured herself some tea with a splash of cream.. She had her hair pulled into a tight bun and a no nonsense look about her. Although she had a stern countenance, her eyes held a twist of kindness that told she was more pussycat than she first appeared. Maerna smiled as the woman, “You must be Professor McGonagall. I am Maerna Danazul. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She extended her hand outward, taking the older woman by surprise.

Professor McGonagall shook her hand wearily, “Are you one of the new teachers that Snape has hired?”

Maerna laughed merrily. “Oh goodness no. I hardly think I qualify. No, I’m here as a guest of Headmaster Snape.”

The professor’s eyes narrowed and she pursed her lips but before she could retort, a silky voice cut across the hall. “And as my guest, I expect you to extend her every courtesy, Is this understood, Minerva?” Maerna shivered. How did he make his voice sound so lethal and foreboding sometimes and then at other times it came out silken and warm? Severus walked behind Maerna and placed his hands on her shoulder, kissing her cheek tenderly. 

“Perfectly understood,” Minerva nodded back. Her eyes were now ice cold on Maerna’s face but Maerna held her glare refusing to back down. Eventually, the professor lowered her eyes and turned away. Maerna sighed inwardly. It was going to be a lonely year for Severus.

________________________

After breakfast, Severus took her to get a new wand. He took her not to a shop but to Malfoy Manor. The door was answered by Draco who seemed even paler than the previous time Maerna had seen him. “Is he here?” Severus asked abruptly.

Draco shook his head no. “He’s still abroad somewhere,” the boy explained. To which Severus simply nodded and stepped inside the entrance hall. 

“I need to see Ollivander,” Severus announced without preamble and led Maerna down into the dungeon. “Can you do this?” he asked as the neared the entrance to the underground labyrinth referring to her own imprisonment there. 

Maerna cleared her emotions, shielding her mind with occuclemcy. “Let’s go,” she said. The door to dungeon slowly opened into a darkened, damp room. In the corner Maerna saw a seated shadow that moved slightly as they entered.

Ollivander was frail. His hair was white and wispy. His body hunched over from the cold. He glanced up at them, his eyes hollow. When he focused on Maerna, a small smile played up his lips. “If it isn’t the woman who hate wands,” he quipped. “To what do I have the honor?” His voice trailed off, the haunted look returned to his eyes.

Maerna kneeled next to the elderly man, waved her hand and opened a thermos of chicken soup that had appeared. Ollivander try to take it but his hands were shaking too much so she guided it to his mouth as he hungrily drank the hot meal down. Severus said nothing. He just stood in the doorway eyes, glaring.

“I am sorry. I’m not here to free you,” Maerna whispered. “I don’t have that power. I need you to make me a wand. Can you still do that?

Large silver eyes stared through her as if trying to comprehend her sentence. Suddenly, they focused on her face. “You solved your wand problem?” he asked. Maerna nodded. He remained quiet for a few moments and then said. “I need some tools and what core?” 

He glanced sharply at Severus. “Severus Snape,” he said almost to himself, “Phoenix feather, 13 inch, Acacia.” Severus acknowledged with a nod, but still said nothing. Ollivander, however, wasn’t to be deterred. “Come closer,” he ordered Snape. 

Surprised the wizard stepped forward. With unusual strength, Ollivander grabbed Severus arm with one hand and Maerna’s with the other. “I sense a connection between you two. It was always there but it is so strong now. What is the cause of this bond?” he asked but didn’t seem to want an answer as he continued to murmur to himself. Finally he focused on the couple in front of him. “I will need a phoenix feather. Yes, your cores should be the same, but not the wood. I sense great loyalty in you, Maerna. Loyalty to Severus. Loyalty to God. Yes, I think cedar would be best.” Bring me the materials and I will make her a wand.”

The old gentleman closed his eyes and turned away. The conversation was over. She reached into her satchel and pulled out a thick blanket and pillow. Prior to their arrival, Severus had added a perpetual warming charm on the linens. “Try to keep them hidden,” Maerna whispered as she tucked them around the old man and then backed out of the cell. 

 

_____________________

Maerna remained at Hogwarts for three days. Remus hadn’t contacted her about any Conductor jobs. Jack and Lace were picking up one family today, but they could handle it, so Maeran stayed near Severus. Truthly, Maerna just felt better when she was around him. She felt warmer, more alive and more energy. Even though others couldn’t see it beneath his cool veneer, Severus, she could tell, was very strained and the term hadn’t even started yet.

The Sunday before term started, Maerna flooed home. As a wedding present, she had given Tonks and Remus the ingredients and directions to make Wolfsbane. Today was Tonk’s first lesson in its preparation. She hoped Tonks was more proficient at potion-making than her husband was. When she had tried to question Severus about her, he replied that she was adequate and has achieved a E in her NEWT.

Maerna stepped out of her fireplace to see not Dora but Remus waiting for her. “Hi,” she said brushing off the soot. “Where’s Dora? I thought we were starting your potion today.” 

Remus didn’t say anything, He just simply stared at her as if he really saw her for the first time. 

“Remus,” Maerna’s voice become concerned. “What’s wrong?”

Remus’s voice was hoarse and scratchy but it was his eyes that scared her. They were almost accusatory in their glare. “The job that Lace and Jak did last night. There was an ambush.” 

Maerna put her hands up to her mouth. “No, don’t tell me-”

Remus shook his head. “Jak got away. Lace didn’t.”

Maerna fell to her knees at Remus’s feet. “Oh Remus, I’m so sorry. I know Lace was a good friend of yours.” She reached for his hand but he snatched it away as if it burned him. 

A shadow crossed his face and almost a sneer formed on it. “Are you, Maerna? Are you really sorry?”

Maerna was aghast. “Of course I am Remus. I know I wasn’t as close to her as you are but we’re still part of the same team.”

Remus stood up abruptly, knocking Maerna over. He ignored her and stalked over the fireplace. His voice increased with each word. “I believed in you. I trusted you. How could you? You’re just like Peter!” He halted his tirade, breathing heavily glaring at her.

Something clicked with Maerna. “You found out who my husband is, didn’t you?” She kept her voice low and even, without malice. “How?”

“Is HE your husband? Is he really your husband? Not that it matters,” he snarled. For a moment, Maerna could truly appreciate the wolf inside of him, almost waiting just below the surface to spring forth.

“Remus, what did you discover?” she tried again. 

“About a year ago, I suggested your name, your real name, to another member of the Order of the Phoenix as a possible candidate to join us. She seemed inclined to my suggestion but then Albus turned it down preferring to have you work separately from the rest of The Order, but your name stuck with her,” Remus explained. “Evidently you introduced yourself to her a few days ago.“ He waved his wand and a photograph appeared. He sent it over to her, unwilling to go any closer. She snatched it from the air. It was a picture of her and Severus, deep in an romantic embrace just in front of his office’s gargoyle. 

“McGonagall,” Maerna whispered. A twitch in Remus’s face confirmed her suspicions but he was not going to say a word. The shadow behind his eyes said he hoped he was wrong. That there was another explanation, but Maerna knew she only had pain to give him.

“If you recall,” Maerna said in a steady, calm voice, “Albus didn’t want you to know who I claimed was my husband. He asked you to trust him and I’m asking you to trust me now. Severus doesn’t know the job I am doing. He doesn’t know about The Conductors and I plan to keep it that way.”

Remus just shook his head, unwilling or unable to comprehend what she was saying. “I know Albus trusted Snape, and, if you recall, that trust killed him. He murdered Albus! Harry saw it. Dumbledore was defenseless. He had already been disarmed and was very weak. Snape didn’t even pause. He just took one look at him and killed him.” 

Maerna said nothing to defend or convict Severus. She simply stared at Remus. He searched her eyes and found what he feared. “Do you love him?”

Maerna opened her mouth, trying to explain, trying to justify, “Remus, it’s much more complicated than that.”

“No, it isn’t,” he argued. “because if you tell me this is all for show. That you are with him to gain information, to spy for The Order then I can trust you but otherwise. . . .“ Remus took a deep breath and asked one more time, “Do you love him, yes or no?”

“Yes.” Maerna felt like that simple word shattered everything. Shattered the trust, the partnership and their friendship.  
Remus just nodded his head once, turned and walked away, never looking back.


	36. The Yaxley Puppet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Tell me, Yaxley,” she said, a playful smile on her lips, “What do you think of Harry Potter?”
> 
> The Death Eater was still for a moment before calling out in a clear, self-assured voice. “Harry Potter is the Chosen One. He will defeat the Dark Lord. He did it once as a baby and he can do it again.”
> 
> “Would you be willing to die for Harry Potter?” Maerna pressed.
> 
> Yaxley leaned forward in anticipation, eagerness gripping his face. “Absolutely.”

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

 

On the last day of August, the Dark Lord summoned his Death Eaters. Much to Maerna’s chagrin, the invitation was extended to her as well. She had not been called since that disastrous meeting which left her for dead. She send a sideways glance at Severus. Did he realize that is the Dark Lord demanded the same allegiance, she would refuse again? As usual, his face was a mask with no sign of concern. He caught her looking and gave her a tight smile before turning the handle of a large oak door.  
The door led to a long, large room which reminded Maerna of the Great Hall albeit not quite as large. The ceilings seemed to be just as high although one couldn’t be sure for the walls disappeared into an inky darkness. The only source of light came from a roaring fire beneath a marble mantlepiece. The ornate mirrors scattered along the walls reflected the firelight so eerie shadows danced along the room. In front of the fire was his throne. He glanced up upon their entry and motioned them forward. Maerna took a deep breath and allowed a curtain of occlumency to fall over her as her footsteps echoed on the stone floor.

“Tell me you have good news,” Lord Voldemort said flatly to Severus. Severus nodded and fixed his eyes upon the Dark Lord’s face inviting him in. After several uncomfortable minutes, a smile slowly crept onto the man’s face. “Excellent. You can give a full report when everyone has arrived. Severus sit here.” He motioned to the seat on his right. He completely ignored Maerna, a fact she wasn’t sure should leave her worried or relieved. Since he hadn’t motioned to a place at the table, she quietly found a chair that had been thrown back against the wall and waited.

Within minutes, the room had been filled. Some gave her a sideways glance. Others ignored her. Several, she had not seen since they had been enjoying a stint in Azkaban after the Ministry fiasco. “That was over a year ago,” Maerna thought. The realization hit her. It had been almost two years since Severus found her at Oxford and changed her life forever. Maerna smiled to herself. One should never assume he knows God’s plans, for she never would have imagined this.

Draco took a seat on the opposite side of the table, so Maerna could observe him easily. She had gotten to know the boy slightly the few days he spent with them hiding from the Ministry. If possible, he looked more ill than he had in June. “I suspect, he is secretly glad to be on the Hogwart’s Express tomorrow,” Maerna mused. She glanced at his parents. Lucius looked horrible. “My how the mighty have fallen,” Maerna thought and the chastised herself for wishing ill on another, even Lucius Malfoy.

There was no need to call to order because the room had been silent as a tomb. Lord Voldemort called on various people for reports. The Ministry was in complete control and they were processing muggleborns daily, Yaxley reported. “What about the thorn in this project? What news of Meg Darcy? What news of those Conductors?” Lord Voldemort hissed.

Maerna kept her head down as Yaxley stumbled over an answer. “My Lord, no one has seen them since they escaped at the Karden’s residence two weeks ago. All the mudbloods are either registered or in hiding. Those who are registered are being called in for interrogation and are either imprisoned or kissed. We should have processed those within the next week or so. Here are a list of their names.” Yaxley waved his wand and several sheets of paper appeared. ”He motioned to send them down to Lord Voldemort but the latter ignored his underling, so Yaxley set the paper to the side and continued, ”As far as the hidden ones, we are looking for them, but we fear many have slipped the country. These Conductors are a small group but are well organized. They were prepared. There are reports that they started warning mudbloods as early as June.”

Voldemort hissed. Before Yaxley could say another word, he doubled over and fell from his chair, howling in agony. No one said a word or even looked at the screaming blonde. The Death Eater next to him simple scooted away a bit in case Yaxley became sick from all the pain. At last, Yaxley started breathing again and gasped out, “My Lord, I do have plan.” Lord Voldemort did not say a word but desisted the pain. 

Slowly Yaxley pulled himself up the chair and motioned to the list. “Four of these mudbloods have agreed to snitch in exchange for their lives.” Cackling spread through the ranks. They knew no deal would be honored. “I have tracking spells on their wands. The moment, they are moved, I’ll find them and, hopefully, their hideout. I have placed this list where I’m sure the Conductors will be able to find it.”

Maerna visibly stiffened, but no one was looking at her. “Breath,” she told herself. “Remove all emotions.” 

She calmed her heart just as Voldemort’s voice boomed out, “Severus, what news do you bring?”

Severus gave his report about Hogwarts. The Carrows, he said gesturing toward the siblings further down the table, were settled in and rewriting their curriculum. The other teachers had been warned and Severus didn’t seem them creating problems. They would be too worried about retribution on the students. Security had been increased tenfold, all secret passages blocked. “We’ll know if he tries to enter the castle, my lord.” A hiss moved about the table like a wave. There was no reason to mention who HE was. Everyone knew it was Potter.

The Dark Lord nodded once in approval and then moved on. “What about my potion? You’ve had almost two years on it?” 

It’s time, Maerna thought. They had finished the potions months ago but had delayed giving it to the Lord Voldemort. Severus and she agreed that they could procrastinate no longer without causing suspicion. “I apologize for the delay,” Severus said, “Although we still have some roadblocks, mostly how to disperse it to vast groups in a timely manner, we have a prototype of the potion here. I would like to borrow someone for a demonstration.”

Voldemort looked pleased at Severus’s news. He pointed to Yaxley, who was obviously paying the piper at this meeting. Severus nodded and motioned Maerna to come forward. Taking a deep breath, Maerna rose, moved closer to the table and began her speech. “This potion is similar to the imperious curse in that it controls a person, but instead of controlling his actions, it controls his thought thus making it even harder to throw off. Of course by controlling the person’s mind, you automatically control their actions. I’m going to demonstrate on Yaxley by having him proclaim ideas that he, most assuredly, does not agree with.” 

Yaxley sent her a scathing look, but she ignored him and plunked a goblet full of bright pink potion in front of him. He took it in four big gulps. Then he sat back and crossed his arms in defiance. Silently, Severus handed her his wand, which made a few eyebrows at the table arch up. She turned to Yaxley and began a quiet cantation. His eyes seemed to gloss over and then correct themselves. Satisfied, Maerna handed Severus wand back to him and turned toward her victim.

“Tell me, Yaxley,” she said, a playful smile on her lips, “What do you think of Harry Potter?”

The Death Eater was still for a moment before calling out in a clear, self-assured voice. “Harry Potter is the Chosen One. He will defeat the Dark Lord. He did it once as a baby and he can do it again.”

Maerna continued, “What would you do to help Harry Potter reach this goal?” 

“Whatever he needs me to?” Yaxley replied.

“Would you attack a fellow Death Eater?” Maerna asked.

Yaxley nodded, ”of course.”

“Would you put yourself in harm’s way?” she asked and again he nodded.

“Would you be willing to die for Harry Potter?” Maerna pressed.

Yaxley leaned forward in anticipation, eagerness gripping his face. “Absolutely.”

Silence as still as death swept through the room. No one dared to laugh or to celebrate. Maerna was known for walking a balance beam with the Dark Lord, but most thought she had pushed too far. Maerna sensed that too for she stopped and turned toward him. “I apologize for my choice in questioning, sir, but I wanted an ideology that Yaxley would, normally, strongly disagree with in order to demonstrate the potency of this potion. I could not think of a more paradoxical topic.”

Lord Voldemort said not a word, his snake-like features hard as ice. Finally Maerna dared to speak again. “Perhaps sir, another demonstration, using a silly, more amusing topic? He turned his red eyes on her and nodded in approval.”

Maerna turned back to the blonde man, “Yaxley, go demonstrate your love to Lucius.”

“With pleasure,” the Death Eater said. He pushed his chair and walked over to the owner of the house. Down on one knee, he began to declare his love unabashedly, reciting poetry about Lucius’s long, white-blonde hair and grey eyes. Lucius froze with a horrified look upon his face trying to push Yaxley away while the love-struck man tried to kiss his hands and robe. The room roared in laughter at Lucius’s expense who was, at this point, physically kicking Yaxley in the face. Maerna put her hand on Yaxley’s shoulder and told him to return to his seat which he did in a docile manner.

Finally the room calmed down. Maerna turned to the Dark Lord and waited patiently. He drummed his fingers on the table, deep in thought. “Severus, it seems you have chosen well for a partner,” the Dark Lord said, “and I have a perfect way to reward her for a job well done.” He waved his wand and a long, thin box appeared. He motioned Maerna forward. “It seems as though you have overcome your little wand problem,” he stated “How?”

“Severus, isn’t sure,” Maerna lied through her teeth and cast her eyes down. “My grandmother died almost two years ago. He thinks that perhaps the strength of the curse is slowly dissipating as time continues.” Actually Severus and Albus's portrait thought the blood bonding ritual had overcome her grandmother's curse, but she would share that with the Dark Lord when hell froze over. 

Lord Voldemort nodded and extended the box out to her. “I understand that you ordered this from Ollivander a few weeks ago. It is now ready. You are a very powerful witch without a wand, Ms. Danazul. I look forward to seeing your power with one.”

“Thank you, milord,” she said graciously taking it. “I look forward to showing you another demonstration in the future.”

Voldemort never acknowledged her. He just moved onto the next report.

 

_______________________

After being dismissed, Maerna, Severus and the Carrows returned to Hogwarts for dinner. Throughout the meal, The Carrow siblings openly appraised Maerna, trying to determine where she fit in and she returned their gaze without a hint of fear. They understood two things: Severus was very protective of her and at the moment, the Dark Lord was happy with her, so she was off-limits to whatever diabolical schemes they were cooking up.

As soon as dinner finished, Maerna made her excuses and slipped up to the Headmaster’s office to floo home. Severus quietly followed her. He pulled her into this arms as the stairwell moved them upward. “Don’t open the door,” he whispered as they neared the top. 

“Why not?” she whispered back. “There’s no one up there.”

“Actually,” he replied with mirth. “There’s about a hundred people up there. Most of them are nosey, old men who like to try to tell me how to run Hogwarts and my life.”

Maerna laughed as she ran her fingers through his hair. “I bet there is one who is the worse. Long white beard, twinkling eyes, sits right behind the desk.”

Severus rolled his eyes. “Sometimes he is, but he also supports having you in my life and I’m thankful everyday that you are.” 

Severus looked deep into her brown eyes trying to drink in every feature. “I was so worried when we were at the Manor today. I was sure he was going to demand you take an oath of allegiance again.”

“And if he did, you knew I would refuse,” Maerna supplied, her face marked in sympathy for him.

“Maerna, I can’t do this alone. I need you here with me to survive this year,” Severus begged.

“You don’t really need me, Severus. What you need is to believe that God is there for you.” Maerna’s voice was smooth and kind but her words cut into him.

He cast his eyes downward. “I did pray some. When you were testing Yaxley with Harry Potter, I asked him to protect you.”

“And he did,” she whispered back.

“I know. I wish I had that strong faith that you do,” he confessed.

“That’s something I can’t give you. Only God can,” Maerna said. 

Severus didn’t say anything. They just stood in the dark for several minutes wrapped in each other’s arms. Suddenly, he leaned down and claimed her mouth, pouring all his worries and anguish into the kiss. “Stay tonight” he asked huskily, but Maerna shook her head no.

“I have some important things to do this evening but I can come back tomorrow for the feast if you want.” She didn’t give any more details and he didn’t ask.

“Okay,” he gave in and opened the door to the office. As he walked across the office, Maerna waved her new wand around making confetti and ribbons burst forth from it. A huge grin appeared on her face as she watched the color fall to the floor. Severus walked over to his desk and picked up two books. “I thought these might interest you.” He handed her Standard Book of Spells 1 and 2. “Given your propensity for wandless magic, I assume you’ll fly through these but it’s a good idea to start from the beginning. Also Flitwick said he’d be glad to tutor you a bit to help you catch up.”

“Flitwick volunteered to do that?” Maerna was surprised. As “Snape’s woman”, the staff had been less than friendly toward her, not that she really blamed them.

“Let’s just call it a favor the headmaster requested,” Severus said. Maerna nodded and tucked the books under her arm. 

“Also,” Severus continued, “I want to start teaching you occlumency. If the Dark Lord is going to pull you into more meetings, I want you prepared.” 

Maerna quickly glanced at Dumbledore’s portrait and share a secret smile with him. “Whenever you are ready, Severus,” she replied, “I think you’ll find me a quick study.”

One quick kiss later, she stepped into the fireplace and returned to the cottage. Once there she threw the books down and stepped back into the fireplace. A flash of white caught her eye. A slip of paper had fallen out of one of the spell books and fluttered to the floor. Curiously, Maerna stepped back out of the fireplace and grabbed the parchment. It was The List. The one Yaxley had of all the registered muggleborns who were up for interrogation within the next two weeks. “Thank you, Severus,” she thought. She scanned the list of about one hundred names. Four of them were traitors. Four were willing to give up others to save their skin. The question was who? Maerna ran downstairs and grabbed the the Veritaserum she had finally managed to brew and jumped back into the fireplace “The Conductors Headquarters” she said in a clear voice and disappeared in a green flame.

 

___________________________________________

 

Maerna raised her head from the fireplace to see five wands pointed at her. She held her hands up in innocence. “I’m not here to hurt anyone,” she simply stated as she scanned the crow. Remus and Jak were to her right while three redheads stood to her left: “Bill, George, Fred.” She nodded at each one. She had changed her appearance to straight black hair, but Fred recognized her anyways. “Meg!” he yelled while the others just stared at her. 

Remus growled and told her to get lost, but she ignored him and crossed over to the table. There sat the exact same list as the one in her pocket. “Where did you get this?” Maerna demanded holding it up. 

Remus refused to answer her but Jak spoke up. “Tonks managed to acquire it at work. Someone had left it on the desk and she discreetly made a copy.”

“Why do you care?” Remus snarled. Maerna didn’t say a word but pulled her own copy out of her pocket and laid it flat on the table. “Where did you get that?” he demanded.

Maerna breathed in deeply before answering, “Unfortunately, it’s a long story and one I can’t share many details of,” she looked at the skeptical faces, “but I can tell you that Yaxley left that list out purposely at the Ministry so we would find it. There are names on it, four to be precise, who are willing to turn us in to save their own skin..” She continued with the explanation, searching their faces as she went. It was obvious some believed her more than others.

“Suggestions?” Bill stowed his wand away and glanced around the room for anyone with an idea..

Maerna held up the the bottle of Veritaserum. “We interrogate each refugee before we take them anywhere and checked their wands for traces.” 

The others nodded except for Remus who didn’t look remotely convinced about anything that was going on. “Remus,” Maerna said gently. ”I know you are upset with me. Perhaps I should have told you the truth from the beginning, but do you understand why I didn’t?” Remus didn’t answer. Instead he turned back to the list and began to study it intently. Maerna sighed, “What do you want from me? Do you want me to lie to you? Tell you that he means nothing to me? I’m not going to do that because I don’t lie to my friends. I care about him deeply but I also care about you and I care about this mission and I won’t let anything jeopardize it even HIM.”

Remus nodded once. He appeared to be trying but was still sceptical “I want to trust you, Maerna, I really do. There is so much evil flying around that it is difficult to be sure what is for the good.”

“Then trust me, Remus. If I was on their side, would I have told you about the list? Would I have handed you Veritaserum to test the muggleborn? If I was on their side, I would have appeared with a dozen Death Eaters in masks behind me and you would be dead by now,” she said in blunt honesty. 

Remus widened his eyes at her speech but recognized the veracity of her claim. “Okay, okay,” he gave in. He held out his arms and Maerna ran into them. He wrapped in her in a big hug and held her tight. Just then he noticed the wand sticking out of her pocket. “You’ve acquired a wand, I see” he commented. 

Maerna nodded. “Just a few hours ago.”

Remus studied it carefully. “It looks like the work of Ollivander.” 

Maerna knew it was a test of sorts. She carefully took the wand back and ran her finger down its shank gently. She paused before she spoke, giving herself a moment to be sure what she said came out perfectly. “It is. He made it personally for me. He’s alive but in a place that I can’t get him out of at this time.”

Remus looked at her hard, then sighed and all the unbelief drained from his face. He folded her back into the hug, “It will be okay, Maerna. It will be okay.”

 

______________________________

There were about a hundred muggleborns on that list. Some has already been rescued. Some had already been detained. The Conductors rescued ten more that night. All passed the Veritaserum test. All moved out by Portkey at dawn. Maerna dropped onto the sofa in exhaustion. Remus looked particularly bad. The full moon had only been a few days ago. Maerna wasn’t sure how he kept going. As he plopped down next to her, he handed her the Sunday Prophet. 

She glanced at the date, September 1st. “The Hogwarts Express will be pulling out in about an hour,” she said.

“Hhhmmmm,” Remus was noncommittal but flipped the paper over and pointed to the article under the fold. SEVERUS SNAPE CONFIRMED AS HOGWARTS HEADMASTER.

“Yeah, I know,” she admitted. “He wants me to come to the opening feast tonight.” It felt strange admitting to Remus that she had a relationship with Severus. Strange but also comfortable. She hated keeping secrets from her friend.  
Remus looked like he wanted to say more, but Maerna switched topics. “Tomorrow, I want to go the Ministry.”

“Why?” Remus asked.

“Because I want to see which muggleborns are already there. Whom we can try to save. For whom, it is too late. We’re getting down the wire here, Remus. Either we can smuggle them out of the country or they get a one way ticket to Azkaban,” Maerna said.

“How do you know that?” Remus asked cautiously, so Maerna told him her own experience in Courtroom Ten. At first he looked solem; however, by the end, Remus was howling in laughter with tears streaming down his face, “That old bag. She deserved it,” he proclaimed but he quickly sobered up. He looked at her quizzically, “You know, Snape seems to really love you,” Remus observed.

Maerna nodded her head. “He’s never told me such, but I know he needs me for strength and comfort and I’m there for him. Not everything about him is clear.

Her voice was filled with such conviction that Remus didn’t even try to challenge. “I guess, we can’t choose whom we fall in love with,” he mumbled.

“Nope,” Maerna said, “Look at what Dora got stuck with.” 

The remark earned her a well deserved whack on the arm. “Come on, Let’s go talk to Arthur. He might have some ideas on how to get you into the Ministry.”


	37. The Mystery Ministry Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Let’s go!” the ministry man yelled as Yaxley appeared. Maerna aimed her wand at Yaxley but before she could curse him, Yaxley, the ministry man and the other two apparated away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my goals in this section was to integrate as many of the DH scenes as possible, so Maerna happens to be at the Ministry one fateful day.

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

 

Maerna arrived at the Ministry of Magic toilets a bit past 9 o’clock the next morning. She deposited the funny gold coin that Arthur had given her and reappeared in the Ministry’s Atrium. Besides the method of entry, not much had changed since she had been there two weeks prior. The place was crawling with various people coming and going, so it was rather easy to disappear. She stopped by her wanted poster and studied it for a moment. She moved her hand ever so slightly. Long black hair and too much makeup had replaced the short, brunette hair of Meg Darcy. A few extra glamour charms and no one realized she was the same woman. 

She quietly moved toward the lifts. She saw Arthur Weasley, with a disgusting look on his face as he exited the lift. She stood on her tippy-toes to see the man to whom Arthur had obviously just been talking The lift door closed before she could get any more than a quick glimpse into it. He was tall, with a full beard. Whatever Arthur said to him   
seemed to have shaken the man up a bit.

Maerna weaved in and out of the crowds until she finally came in front of the golden gates of the lifts. She quickly stepped on and pressed the button for level ten. It seemed to take forever to get there for the lift stopped at every level as people got on and off. She was alone again when she finally reached the bottom most level.   
She rounded the corner to see that same tall, bearded man make an announcement to a group of about twenty people. “It has been decided that you should all go home and go into hiding with your families. Go abroad if you can. Just get well away from the Ministry. That’s the -er-new official position. Now if you all would just follow the Patronuses, you’ll be able to leave from the Atrium.”1 Maerna backed up into the lift as a glowing otter and stag led the group in with her.  
Maerna stared at these people. They must be the muggleborns who had come for their interrogations but why was this ministry man man telling them to hide? It didn’t make any sense and it was obvious that they people were just as confused as her. However they were grabbing at what they knew was their last hope and desperately obeying the mysterious man from the ministry.

Around them, the Atrium was in chaos. A wizard was sealing off fireplaces as quickly as possible.. “Not good,” Maerna thought. I don’t want to be caught in here. Suddenly the ministry man announced that his group needed to get through the fireplaces. The crowds parted and the group slipped through. Maerna slipped in with the group and soon found herself up a fireplace and into the toilets again. The group tumbled out of the stalls and staggered into the hall way, switching to runs as soon as their shocked legs allowed them. Right behind them, more muggleborns poured from the stalls. Behind her was a scuffling sound as a man said, “Let go. I’m not your husband, you’ve got to go home.” He yanked away from her just as two more people popped up from the toilet. “Let’s go!” the ministry man yelled as Yaxley appeared. Maerna aimed her wand at Yaxley but before she could curse him, Yaxley, the ministry man and the two others apparated away.   
Maerna stared at the group of twenty people standing in front of her. She wasn’t sure exactly what happened but she was sure the MInistry would be here soon. She clapped her hands to get their attention. “How many of you are muggleborn?” Still dazed nine of them raised their hands. Maerna nodded, “and the rest of you?”

“Family of them,” one man said. 

“Okay,” Maerna took a deep breath. “It appears that ministry man wants you all to go abroad. I can help you with that. Give me your names and I’ll have someone pick you up at home within 30 minutes. If you want to take your chance with the Ministry, then stay here.”   
No one moved. They just stared at her until one lady started screaming, “What about my children? My husband? I can’t leave without them.” All of the sudden a man in blue robes came bursting out of one of the toilets. “Reg!” the hysterical woman screamed and threw her arms around him.  
“Well,” Maerna muttered, “One problem solved. Only a million more to go.”

 

_________________________

Maerna stared at the clock hanging on the wall above the sink. It was not even noon yet and she was already exhausted. The Weasley brothers, Jak, and Remus came to her rescue. Just two hours ago, nine muggleborns and their families were waiting for their prejudicial tribunal deep in the bowels of the ministry. Now they were sitting in the Conductor’s headquarters waiting for their portkeys to send them out of the country. “Two minutes,” she said aloud to anyone who cared to listen. 

Everyone gathered around the four portkeys. Maerna waved good-bye as the portkeys began to glow blue, but none of them were looking at her. Their mouths hung open as a glowing deer cantered in through a window. Its feet touched the floor just as the portkeys pulled the refugees away. 

Maerna turned around and the deer’s message sent chills up her spine. “Maerna, they are tracking you. Get out now,” came a deep voice. The voice sounded strange as if the person didn’t want it recognized.

“Who’s Maerna?” asked George, but Remus was already moving.

“How are they tracking us?” he asked. Remus looked around the space for a clue to who or what was the traitor.

Maerna shrugged and began inventorying the room herself for possible tracers., “I don’t know but don’t take anything that has been here less than 48 hours. Chances are it’s something that we’ve acquired recently. Go!”

Maerna moved to the hidden cupboard and grabbed the remaining portkeys while the twins shrank down the potions. Remus was obliterating items as fast as his wand could wave Suddenly, Remus froze, His wolf ears picked up the pop of apparition. “They’re here,” He whispered. “Let’s go.” He grabbed Maerna by the hand. As the others apparated out, Remus twirled his wand around his head and flames came out, encircling Maerna and himself. The last vision Maerna had was a sea of white masks and out stretched wands approaching the the wall of rabid flames. Then she was pulled into that pinpoint of space and time. 

They landed in a small clearing. Bill was next to them. Jak, George and Fred were nearby. Bill immediately started grabbing the items they took with them and checking for trace spells but didn’t find any. “I hope we didn’t leave anything connected to us back there,” said Fred.

Remus shook his head. “We’ve always been very careful with what we had at headquarters. If there was anything, hopefully the fiendfyre will take care of it. “

“Who gave us the warning?” George asked, “Without it, we never would have made it.”

Remus nodded his head but otherwise ignored George’s question. Instead, he watched Maerna wander around the small clearing. He came up and put his arm around Maerna’s shoulder. She leaned into him, “That was so close.”

“Yes, it was,” Remus agreed. “You know Lily’s patronus was a deer but, of course, that wasn’t her voice, but you know that don’t you, Maerna”

Maerna shrugged. ”There are but so many animals in the world. Statistically, some people will have the same animal.”  
“Hhhhmmmm, try again” he replied but didn’t push any more. “I still hate him, but I can’t deny that he loves you. He must. Look at the chance he just took for you. If his master discovers who helped us. his agony will be unbelievable.”

Maerna just shook her head, settled into the crook of Remus’s arm and began to sob. She wasn’t sure if it was from relief or fear; she just sobbed. It was only one minute past noon.

 

1-Direct quote from J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapter 13, page 264. American Edition.


	38. What Doesn't Kill You Will Make You Stronger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The Dark Lord is creating his own worst enemies by the way this school is run. He’s creating soldiers that, soon, can be used against him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the other time periods that just begs to be explored is Year 7 at Hogwarts. Although Neville gives us a quick glimpse into it as he and the trio are taking the passage back to the Room of Requirement, I always thought Neville did a lot of growing up and leading that year.

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

The group stayed in those woods for over an hour. By then the polyjuice had worn off. Jak and Bill stared at Maerna. 

“I thought you were a natural brunette with much shorter hair, Meg ” Jak teased as he swatted at her golden curls.

“If her name is even Meg,” Bill said joining the group.

Maerna just gave him a tight smile but quickly changed the topic. “How many muggleborn do you think are still out there?”

Bill shrugged, “Assuming that list was complete, I would say at least a fourth of those people are unaccounted for. We still have work to do. We must move quickly and carefully before the Death Eaters close in.”

Maerna agreed, “However, this might be the end of me as a Conductor.”

“What? Why? How?” a chorus of redheads questioned.

Maerna held up her hand. “I have other obligations. As important as this work is, those obligations that cannot be crossed with the work of the Conductors. Unfortunately, that just happened. I am sorry.” The Weasleys and Jak stared at her in confusion while Remus just looked angry. Maerna pointed to all of the supplies they had managed to rescue. “It’s yours if you can find any of the others. Thank you for everything. You all are amazing people to work with.” She hugged each one and then turned to Remus. “Please take me home.”

 

_________________________________________________________

To say Severus was angry was an understatement. “Severus doesn’t get angry. Severus always controls his emotions,” Maerna kept saying to herself, but when she looked at him pacing around his office, she started to rethink that statement. “The only time I’ve ever seen him this upset was when he discovered I could breach the wards,” Maerna thought. 

Finally, she broke the silence. “Thank you.”

Severus stopped near a large globe, tapped his wand against the top of the globe and obliterated a large beetle that had the misfortune of crawling on it at that moment. Severus looked at her shrewdly, “You thought I was clueless about your activities, didn’t you.”

Maerna nodded, “until I found the list in the book of spells you gave me.”

“Maerna, if I can figure it out, then--”

“He can, too.” Maerna finished for him, “How did he find our hideout?”

Severus grimaced, “One of the four informants was there.” 

Maerna objected, “but we checked everyone who came in by giving them Veritaserum. We. . .” Her eyes widened, “I didn’t check the ones the escaped the Ministry with me. I just assumed, because they were already at trial, they would. . . . how stupid of me. Stupid and reckless of me,” Maerna chided herself. She allowed the faces of those who had been with her to flash by her conscious mind in a vain attempt to discover who had betrayed them. “Thank you for warning us. If you hadn’t, my crew would be dead.”

Severus nodded and grabbed her hand. “It’s not just that,” he said, “It’s because I’m selfish. I wasn’t worried about any of them It was just YOU. I know now that I love you, Maerna. You are part of the reason I have kept going everyday. When everything within me screamed to just walk away, it was visions of your face that kept me doing what I know is right even if it is like being on a constant tightrope. You are part of the reason that I can do this,” he said gesturing around the headmaster’s office. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Maerna stared at him a moment. Her voice softened to a gentle whisper. “I love you too, Severus” Maerna reached out and stroked his cheek. “While my work is important, yours is too and I made a promise to see you through this and I will. That is why I’ve already told the other Conductors that I’ve resigned. I can’t promise that I won’t help others in need, but I’m not going to go looking for trouble.”

“Are you sure?” Severus asked.

Maerna nodded, “There are enough of them to finish what needs to be done. There aren’t many muggleborns left. Most we have either helped or the Ministry gotten to them first.”

“Thank you,” he said in a rough whisper. He grabbed Maerna around the waist and pulled her her closer, taking in her scent. His lips crashed onto her and she responded back, her hands inching along his neck, her fingers entwined in his hair. They were tangled together. Maerna could feel the energy of their blood bond, the passion of their love flow between them. Maerna smiled as she and Severus floated off into a dream together. 

_____________________________________

 

Maerna spent more and more time at Hogwarts. Now that they had created a potion to satisfy the Dark Lord, they needed to create a dispersal system. The potion would have to reach thousands of muggles at the same time and would have to be maintained. Truthfully, they had no idea how they were going to do this and as Severus pointed out, while all of the Dark Lord’s requests were important, this one was on the back burner until the “Potter Problem” was dealt with. 

So, Maerna spent most of her time with her new wand. Severus, rather harshly, demanded that Flitwick tutor her and the poor man came in trembling for the first lesson. He quickly discovered that “Snape’s girl” was kind and pleasant. After several sessions, Flitwick asked her what she saw in “that murderer,” but Maerna just smiled and said “something no one else could see.” Flitwick was horrified at his own candor but Maerna promised her lips were sealed. The two developed somewhat of a friendship. McGonagall, however, refused to even acknowledge Maerna’s existence so Flitwick also instructed her in transfiguration. 

Severus insisted on starting her on occlumency lessons and ignored the chuckles from the portrait behind the desk. After fifteen minutes of trying to infiltrate her mind, he realized the joke was on him as Dumbledore explained him instructoring her the previous spring. 

“No matter,” said Severus, never one to be outdone. “You still need to practice and we’ll work on advanced topics, too.”

Severus spent most of his time locked in the headmaster’s office allowing few to gain entry. He usually met the Carrows in one of their offices citing privately to Maerna that he didn’t want “their Death Eater filth to contaminate such a noble room.” He rarely went to meals and allowed most of the disciplinary measures to be taken by the Carrows much to Maerna’s chagrin.

“Do you realize that they are using the Cruciatus Curse during detention?” Maerna demanded one day. 

“Yes,” Severus said as he leafed through some paperwork. “They took great delight in informing me of that the other day. It seems they’ve recruited some Slytherins to help them.”

“And you are going to do nothing?” Maerna’s voice increased with her anger, but Severus was not one to be baited. 

“What would you have me do, Maerna? In the Dark Lord’s eyes, the Cruciatus curse is an acceptable even an expected form of punishment. Several Death Eaters use it on their own children.”

Maerna looked at him in abject horror. “Look,” Severus said as he laid down the papers and walked over to her. “I’ve given them strict instructions on how long and with how much force they may use the curse. The student will be able to recover from it.” He ran his finger down her jaw and tilted her chin up to meet his eyes, “What is it the muggles say, ‘What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.’ I know it doesn’t look like it, but the Dark Lord is creating his own worst enemies by the way this school is run. He’s creating soldiers that,   
soon, can be used against him.”

“And against you,” Maerna said quietly. Severus didn’t say anything, he just wrapped her in his arms and rested his chin on her head. 

“Go down to the dungeon and observe some of the detentions,” he suggested. “I’m sure, you’ll figure out something--just don’t get caught.”

“And what do I tell the Carrows when they ask why I’m there,” Maerna said.

Severus gave her one of his famous sneers and playfully tapped her chin, “Tell them the truth, I sent you down to check up on them and report back to me.”

 

____________________________

Maerna watched without emotion as Amycus used the Unforgivable on Neville Longbottom. The former took great delight in, not only physically torturing the seventh year student but psychologically as well. From what Maerna could gather from the Death Eater’s taunts, Neville’s parents were tortured into insanity by the same curse. 

The boy was chained to the wall hands above his head. Everytime the curse hit, his would draw his feet up, kicking and lashing out, but he never screamed. Over and over again until Maerna couldn’t stand it anymore. “That’s enough!” she commanded. “We need him to change his views not addle his brain. If he takes even one step down that road like his parents, they’ll be hell to pay and I will guarantee that it will be more than galleons coming out of your pocket. Amycus sent her a nasty look but lowered his wand and stomped down the dark pathway and up the stairs to the main floor above

Maerna walked up to Neville. One could barely believe that seventeen months ago, he was the same boy whom she watched leaving Ollivanders cradling his new wand with a look of pure joy on his face. He lip was split open, he could barely see out of one swollen eye and bruises spread across his face. She could easily see multiple lacerations imprinted up and down his arms and torso where his robes had torn during the torture. 

He stared back with defiance in his eyes. “I understand what Severus means about turning them into soldiers,” Maerna thought as she observed him. “Well, you look like hell, Gryffindor,” she remarked aloud. “I’m impressed. You didn’t scream once.” She was rewarded with a scowl. Using her wand, she released him from the manacles. He slid down the wall, rubbing his wrists but saying nothing. 

She sat down next to him, “What are you in for?”

For a moment, she thought he would refuse to talk and then he mumbled, “For being a friend of Harry Potter.”

“Ah, yes, he is rather unpopular with the establishment at the moment but the Ministry is so fickle, aren’t they?” She reached into a pocket, pulled out a potion and handed it to him.

“What’s this?” Neville asked suspiciously.

“A potion,” she explained.

Neville rolled his eyes, “Obviously, but I’m not drinking it until I know what it is.”

“Intelligent answer, Neville, but can you trust me to tell you what it is? Isn’t it better that you figure it out for yourself than to trust the unknown.” Maerna said.

Neville sighed and observed the potion carefully, sniffing it and noting the yellow swirls within the brown liquid. “I would say a typical pain potion, but the yellow swirls are moving clockwise instead of counter clockwise.”

“Excellent work, Longbottom. Five points to Gryffindor. You must have had an exceptional potions’ instructor in your youth,” Maerna teased. “It is a pain potion but I modified it slightly to focus on pain of the Cruciatus Curse. Would you be willing to be my first test subject? I promise it won’t poison you.”

Neville scrunched up his face, “First you tell me that it’s wise not to trust you and now you are telling me to trust you.”

“True,” Maerna sighed. She took the potion back and, almost theatrically, look a large swallow it before handing it back. “No risk, no reward.”  
Neville glared at her one once more and finished the potion. She could see the effects immediately as his muscles relaxed. “Thank you,” he said. He leaned his head against the wall and let the potion work its way through his body.

“Neville, I have a proposition for you,” Maerna said. “I would like to help as much as I can but I’m limited by my position and those who have power around me. I would like to run experiments on people who have detention. I want to try to develop a potion that reduces the pain of the curse, but I can’t let the Carrows know. Would you help me?

“What do you need me to do? Potions is not my strength,” Neville said.

“So, I’ve heard,” Maerna chuckled, “but herbology is and the two subjects are closely intertwined. Plus you have certain connections within the castle that I do not. I would use your knowledge of herbology and have you give out the potions and interview people after their detentions. No one else, except you, is to know I’m involved in this.” 

Neville was quiet for a moment and then extended his hand out to her, “Who would have thought that I’m conducting business with Snape’s woman.”

Maerna laughed as she shook his hand, “Is that what they call me?”

Neville’s face darkened, “Actually it’s one of the nicer things they call you.”

Maerna smiled and shrugged her shoulders, “Sticks and stones, Neville, Sticks and stones.”

 

______________________

Neville was true to his word. He gave her a galleon and explained how it worked to communicate with him. Maerna pretended it was a new idea, not revealing that Hermione had made some for the Conductors. Severus reserved a room in the dungeon strictly for Maerna’s potion making. It was assumed that she was working on the potion for the Dark Lord’s   
master plan, which she did on occasion.

The varied selection of the Hogwart’s greenhouses was a treat for the potioneer in Maerna. She and Neville could discuss privately various plants and their attributes. By the end of October, Maerna had a satisfactory pain potion for post de facto but was struggling to create something she could give the kids before detention. 

The Halloween feast that year was probably the most solemn in the history of Hogwarts. Severus detested Halloween a holiday which coincided with “the worst day of my life” he reminisced. As headmaster, he certainly didn’t try to put his personal feelings aside so the celebration resembled more of a dirge than anything else. Instead of festive orange and yellow banners and happy jack o’lanterns the decorations resembled a gloomy, rainy Monday morning. The feast also mirrored the headmaster’s feelings. Unsweetened oatmeal, unseasoned fish and mashed peas were on the menu that Halloween.

About halfway through the meal, Severus visibly stiffened and made eye contact with Draco who was rubbing his left arm. Severus stood up and whispered to Maerna not to stay up, a command he knew she would ignore. Then he strode purposely from the Great Hall with the Carrows, Malfoy and Nott following him. Everyone seemed relieved to see them go except Crabbe and Goyle who couldn’t seem to wipe the envy off their faces. A few minutes after they left, McGonagall and Flitwick discretely exchanged the decorations, sent for cupcakes and ice cream and added some music to the feast. Soon the conversations increased and the atmosphere relaxed. Even the Slytherins didn’t seem to mind. Despite everything, they wanted their Halloween too.

Dessert was almost finished, when a pain coursed through Maerna, Her fork clattered to the table and she fell to the floor convulsing. The head table just stared at her for a moment before Hagrid jumped up. He gently picked her up to take her to the hospital wing. Once out in the entrance hall, Maerna refused asking to be taken to the Headmaster’s office instead. Hagrid wanted to argue with her when a quiet but authoritative voice suggested that Hagrid follow her directions. Neville disappeared but met them in the Headmaster’s Office. He poured the brown and yellow mixture into her mouth and watched her immediately relax. 

Neville dismissed a confused Hagrid and turned to his patient, “Do I want to know?” he asked. 

Maerna shook her head, “No and I won’t tell you but I will need some more of that.”

“More?” Neville questioned and handed her another dose, “Maerna, that’s already a full dose at the strongest strength.”

Maerna choked down the second goblet, “It’s not for me,” she explained to a bewildered Neville.

Finally, Maerna sent Neville away. He wanted to refuse to leave her alone but she simply said, “What would the headmaster do if he found you in his chambers with his girlfriend.” Recognizing the potential disaster of such a situation, he relented and disappeared.

Forty-five minutes later, Severus crawled into bed. “What have you been up to? You told me that you weren’t going to go looking for trouble,” he scolded.  
Maerna turned, “Could you feel it? Did it help?”

Severus sighed. “Yes and yes.”

“How do you feel?” she asked.

“Better than if I didn’t have it,” he admitted. “The Dark Lord was in a foul mood this evening and everyone paid for it.” Then as an afterthought he added, “He always seems to be in a bad mood on Halloween.”

“Gee, I wonder why,” Maerna said in mock confusion. “I have more potion. Do you want some for Nott and Malfoy?”

“Not the Carrows?” he asked in feigned concern. “Thank you for the offer but not tonight. They are probably already in bed. Let them sleep it off. Tomorrow I want to discuss this new potion with you.”

Maerna nodded and snuggled into the crook of his arm falling asleep quickly.

 

__________________

A few days later, Maerna was busy over a cauldron when a voice echoed from the doorway, “Hey, you’ve got your magical strength back.” Maerna froze and slowly turned around. There stood, Neville leaning in the doorway.

“What did you say to me?” Maerna asked rather harshly.

Neville looked confused, “You were really weak after whatever hit you at the Halloween feast. I just observed that you seem to have your strength back.

“Yes, that is what you said but that’s not. . . .” she trailed off. “I’m sorry, I seem to be having some sort of déjà vu.” Maerna shook her head as if trying to clear some thoughts from it. “Ignore me,” she said. “Here I have made some modifications. Can you give this to someone about thirty minutes before detention?”

Neville nodded, “Michael Corner has it tonight,” he said and pocketed the potion.

 

________________________________

Maerna wandered the corridors, ignoring others who dared to look at her. Most students left her alone, fearful that angering her would be the same as angering the Headmaster. The conversation she had with Neville, the feeling of déjà vu had been bothering her for days. She couldn’t pinpoint why but she knew it was important. She reached the gargoyle and whispered the password, Phoenix. The gargoyle, however, paused before letting her up. “Something is going on up there. Both the Carrows and the Lestrange are up there.”   
Maerna paused her daydream to focus on the gargoyle. “That can’t be good,” she remarked and the statue grunted in agreement. Quietly, she entered the office and stood on the perimeter. 

Voices got louder and louder. Bellatrix’s piercing shrills, Alecto’s whining, Amycus’s arguing; each trying to outdo the other until finally Snape cut in, “Enough!” he boomed. “It was my office, they attempted to break into. I will deal with the blood-traitors and ensure they receive a proper punishment. I assure you, Alecto, I’m perfectly capable of handling two Gryffindors and a Ravenclaw,” he sneered at her and Alecto stepped back in submission. “Bella,” he turned to the raven-haired beauty, “I need a favor from you.”

“You, Snape,” she smirked, “want my help.” 

He ignored her caustic tone and handed her the sword of Gryffindor to the general astonishment of the group. “I understand that your family vault is one of the most well protected within Gringotts. I’ve already discussed this with the Dark Lord and he agrees the sword should be stored there.”

Bellatrix nodded and took the sword from his outstretched hand. “If the Dark Lord desires it, then it will be done,” she purred.

“Obviously,” Severus replied dryly staring pointedly at her swollen belly.

 

_____________________________

Finally, the others left and Severus came into his private chamber. 

“Need someone to rant to?” Maerna asked. 

Severus shot her a look and then spent the next half an hour complaining about stupid Gryffindors with more brawn than brains and that those three were taking over trying to make his life as miserable as Potter had. Maerna listened until Severus threw himself on the bed, having exhausted himself into silence. He moved his arm from his eyes and turned toward her, “Why did you come in during all of that?” he asked knowing that she wouldn’t have interrupted if it wasn’t serious.

“The Pensieve? Isn’t that a way to look at old memories?” she asked.

Severus nodded in confusion and explained how it worked.

“So, you could pull one of my memories out of my head and I could watch it, like a third-person point-of-view?” Maerna said.

Severus turned his body and propped his head up with his hand, “Maerna, what is going on?”

Maerna hesitated for a moment before plunging in. “I think my uncle lied to me. I think he knows why my grandmother took away my powers.”


	39. "Memory is the Guardian of All Things” -Marcus Tullius Cicero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He leaned back in his chair and started his tale. “Your parents had passed away just six months before. Laurel was your guardian, as you know, and I visited a lot to check on you. We were amazed by your abilities. You weren’t even five but we could already tell you were going to be a powerful witch. . .Then we heard the prophecy.”

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

Maerna explained the feeling of déjà vu when Neville was talking to her. Severus frowned. He didn’t like her spending so much time with a blood traitor and known troublemaker. 

“I don’t know why but I’m associating our conversation with my uncle and a feeling that he wasn’t completely honest with me,” Maerna explained. “I want to look back at the week I spent with him in January, see if a memory can trigger this.”

“We can do that but going through a week of memories would take a while. It might be faster if I look into your mind and pinpoint some memories to remove,” Severus suggested. “However, you would have to let me gain full access. Otherwise your subconscious might try to hide the one thing you are looking for.” Maerna agreed and Severus suggested that they start immediately. “What was happening when you had this feeling? Where were you? Where was Neville? What were you doing? What did he say?”

She thought for a moment and then launched into a description. “I was in greenhouse #2 tending to some amaranth. Neville came in. No, he didn’t come in. He just stood at the door and commented that my strength was back.”

Severus sat up in alarm. “What do you mean? Your strength was back? How? What? You haven’t been sick.”

Maerna gave him a bashful look. She had led him to believe that the pain hadn’t been that bad for her when the Dark Lord used the Cruciatus Curse on Severus. She didn’t want to worry him. “Another story. I’ll tell you later. I promise.” Severus didn’t look convinced but let it slide and focused on activity at hand.

“Are you ready?” he asked, wand aloft. Maerna nodded and he made eye contact.

_There was Neville standing against the doorway just as she described. Severus walked past him and moved toward the  
castle. Once inside he opened a door to find a beautiful spring morning. Maerna walking through the wards at the cottage. As soon as she passed him, arms reached out and grabbed her around the waist, spinning her in a circle while she laughed. Severus cringed when he saw it was Remus Lupin. A large black dog came bounding up with a stick in its mouth. Maerna scratched him behind the ears and threw the stick as far as she could. Remus grabbed her by the elbow and the two walked along in comfortable conversation._

__

__

_Suddenly the scene shifted and Severus was standing in a large kitchen filled with people having dinner. Given the ratio of redheads, it had to be the Weasleys. He felt a sting of jealousy as he watched the scene unfold. When had she met the Weasleys? Why hadn’t she ever mentioned it? As he scanned the crowd, he realized that she wasn’t even there. How was that possible? Everyone at the table was a Weasley or a member of the Order except one: a woman with short brown hair and glasses. The woman smiled that special smile. A shot of recognition jolted Severus-Meg Darcy, the thorn in the Ministry’s side was Maerna. He knew that she had been working to help muggleborns but he didn’t realize she was leading it. He didn’t know whether to be proud of her strength or to shake her because of the fear for her that suddenly overwhelmed him._

_The scene shifted again. She was sitting at a table with Remus, some Weasleys and a man Severus didn’t recognize. Several people left by portkey as his Patronus landed in the room. Mayhem ensued. Severus watched as they barely escaped amid of ring of fiendfyre. Her memories landed him in a small clearing where she talked to Remus. Severus walked up quickly trying to hear their conversation but they fell silent as he approached. She seemed so content resting her head on his shoulder. Pain and envy flooded through Severus as a voice tried to reach his subconscious, “Severus, Severus-my uncle. We’re looking for my uncle.”_

_Severus pulled himself away from the painful scene and rounded a corner. He was in her apartment, kidnapping her. She grabbed a knife and slit open his shirt yelling at the men who nodded. Then she began to twist around in his arms. Severus automatically touched his neck and scenes shifted. Maerna was walking into someone’s apartment. That same man was leaning in the doorway, just as Neville had. Maerna was summoning newspapers and complaining about the mess and the man was talking to her. Instinctively, Severus knew this was the scene. Carefully, he pulled away from the scene and then plucked the thin silver thread of memory from among the thousands, he carefully placed it near the outside of Maerna’s memory web where he could easily locate it and then eased out completely. ___

____

Severus pulled himself back into his chambers. He was there, she was there, sitting on the coach. She looked deeply in his eyes and said, “Remember Severus. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know. Just be sure you want to hear the answer.”

He stood up abruptly and walked over to the window. Instinct told him to shield himself from feelings, use snide remarks, show indifference but he couldn’t. He felt so raw. He needed to know but was afraid to ask. Maerna stood up and walked over. She slid her hands around his waist and waited for his response. 

“Do you love him?” he croaked. 

“Yes,” she said simply. “As a friend, nothing more.” 

“I think he feels it’s more than that,” Severus said bitterly.

“I don’t think so. He has an amazing wife and a child on the way. He’s very happy. Remus and I have a very comfortable friendship-a friendship that could be misconstrued by an outsider, but I promise. It’s just friendship.” she said.

Severus nodded but continued staring out the window. “I’m sorry, Maerna. The life I’ve pulled you into. The life I can give you. It’s not much of a life.”

Maerna tugged on his robe until he turned around, “As long as you are in it, Severus Tobias Snape, then it’s the life I want,” she whispered and pulled him into a deep kiss.

He looked down at her in wonder trying to understand how this amazing woman would want him. He couldn’t fathom it but he would take it as long as it was offered to him. Finally, he pulled away. “I think I found the memory,” he said. He raised his wand toward her temple. She closed her eyes as thin, silvery vapor appeared and was transferred into the pensieve. “Ready?” he asked.

“Ready” she confirmed and they leaned in.

_They landed in a small, messy apartment. ”This is Uncle Brent’s place,” she explained to Severus as the front door opened._

__

_“Really, Uncle Brent, if I could do cleaning spells, this place would be sparking in minutes.” Memory Maerna admonished him._

_“Yeah, well. I can stun, hex and bind the worst of them, but those stupid cleaning spells get me all the time,” he grumbled._

_Maerna just rolled her eyes and start summoning the newspapers into her hand._

_“Hey, you got your magical abilities back,” Brent observed from the doorway._

_“Oh my gosh, you don’t know!” Maerna squealed. Severus and Maerna watched as she explained everything to her uncle while munching on pizza. “I keep telling myself, I’m sure my grandmother had a reason for binding my powers, but can’t possibly imagine what that would be. I know she loved me, but when I think about that memory, I start to second guess myself. . . “ She trailed off. “Did she ever say anything to you?”_

_“Now, you listen here, young lady,” her uncle lectured, keeping a blank faced. “I don’t know why your grandmother did that. She always acted like you were a squib, but I know she loved you more than life itself. Never forget that.” ___

__

__

Maerna stopped and stood up. She turned towards Severus. “See his face here. I know he’s lying.” Severus agreed. The man was good at lying but Severus was better at catching them. Years in the classroom dealing with adolescents and all their excuses had taught him that. They both turned back to the pensieve and continued the trip down memory lane.

_“Yes, sir,” Memory Maerna continued . “Severus said the same thing.”_

__

_“Now, there are two questions I have for you. First what magic can you do wandlessly? That’s very impressive by the way. The second is who is this Severus?. You’ve mentioned him several times now.”_

_Maerna threw herself on the coach and groaned. “I can do about a dozen spells wandlessly. I’ll show them to you. That’s the easy thing. Severus is the hard one. Why are men so complicated?”_

_Her uncle looked at his niece and burst out laughing. ___

__

__

Severus smiled and tried to grab her hand, forgetting that he couldn’t in the pensieve but Maerna was completely focused on the memory. “No, I’ve missed it. May we watch it again?” she asked. Severus nodded and waved his wand so they were back to the beginning.

_“Really, Uncle Brent, if I could do cleaning spells, this place would be sparking in minutes.” Memory Maerna admonished him._

__

_“Yeah, well. I can stun, hex and bind the worst of them, but those stupid cleaning spells get me all the time,” he grumbled._

_Maerna just rolled her eyes and start summoning the newspapers into her hand._

_“Hey, you got your magical abilities back,” Brent observed from the doorway. ___

__

__

“That’s it!” Maerna jumped up and exclaimed. “He said got your magical abilities back. Why would he say back if he didn’t know I had them to begin with?’

Severus nodded grimly. “He wouldn’t.”

________________________________

Dear Uncle Brent,

We need to talk about my grandmother’s decisions. You know the truth and it’s time I know it too. I’ve arranged a portkey for you from the terminal nearest your apartment on Tuesday at 11 am London Time.

Love Always,  
Maerna 

 

Maerna stood in the International Portkey Terminal in the Ministry of Magic. His portkey was late and she was getting nervous. Finally, he landed with a shoe in his hand and a small bag on his arm. The worker checked his paperwork. “The American documents don’t give your blood status,” he complained.

Uncle Brent glared at him. “No, we don’t find that a priority as much as your lot has lately but it’s obviously pure-blood if you need to know,” he lied to the ministry worker. “Who else would dare to enter this place under its current dictatorship.” He signed the paperwork and walked over to Maerna. He didn’t look happy and his sweating palms betrayed his unstrung nerves. “Let’s just get this over with,” he said in greeting.

They took the floo to her cottage. Severus was there waiting calmly. “So, you’re the guy she can’t stop talking about, huh,” Uncle Brent grumbled. Severus simply nodded. “I hope you have a decent job,” Brent continued. He slowly eyed Severus from head to toe in a way that clearly said , “Watch it, Buddy. That’s my niece you are involved with. Break her heart and I’ll be here to make you face the music.”

“Uncle Brent, we’re not here to talk about Severus but yes, he’s the principal at the magical school here.” Maerna reminded him.

Uncle Brent nodded and offered his hand “It’s nice to meet you.” 

“A pleasure,” Severus said cooly neglecting to mention that they had already met once while Severus was kidnapping his niece. “Would you like a butterbeer?”

“Do you have anything stronger?” Brent asked. “This isn’t exactly a butterbeer conversation.” Severus nodded and poured him an ample amount of firewhiskey. 

Brent sat down and took a long sip. “How did you find out?” Maerna explained how something was nagging her and she looked back at the memories. Brent nodded, “I knew I slipped up when I said it but you were so excited about your new abilities that you didn’t notice at the moment. Damn pensieves,” he smiled ruefully.

He leaned back in his chair and started his tale. “Your parents had passed away the year before. Laurel was your guardian, as you know, and I visited a lot to check on you. We were amazed by your abilities. You weren’t even five but we could already tell you were going to be a powerful witch. . . . . I remember, once you had a temper tantrum. Laurel was trying to make you clean your room and you refused. To make a point, you magically glued down every toy no matter where it was: the floor, the bed, the dresser. It’s hard to clean a room when permanent sticking charms are on everything. It took months to get everything back to where it belonged. We smiled with pride at your potential.. . . . .Then we heard the prophecy.”

“A prophecy about me?” Maerna squeaked. 

Brent nodded. “September 1st, 1971. It was the day of your baptism.”

Maerna smiled. “I remember some of that day-a white dress, the ceremony, a cake and a lot of people.”

“Yeah,” Brent agreed. “One of those people was a wack-a-doodle seer,”

Maerna gave him a quizzical look.

“Have you ever met a seer?” Uncle Brent asked her. She shook her head no.

“They aren’t exactly normal,” Severus interjected.

“Anyways, the ceremony was just wrapping up when the lady’s eyes rolled to the back of her head and she started talking in this weird voice.” Brent continued. “When the seer was done with the prophecy. Everyone just stared. Your grandmother took control, sent everyone to the reception and contacted MACUSA’s prophecy department. It’s properly recorded and everything.” He got up and started pacing the room. “Your grandmother spent months researching, trying to understand. Finally she decided the best way to protect you was to never let the prophecy happen. She found some ancient ritual, dark magic, to bind your powers. To keep you from experimenting-”

“And she created a spell in which wands burn me if I used them,” Maerna interrupted.  
Brent pointed toward Maerna’s wand. “It looks like you got past both parts of Laurel’s plan. It doesn’t burn you.”

Maerna shook her head no “not for the last six months or so. Then she raised me as a squib, except for potions. Why did she allow me so much potions knowledge?”

Brent grunted in response. “Your grandmother loved you very much. That much is certain. She knew you had great powers and intelligence. By letting you work with nomaj and magical potions, she hoped to funnel your abilities into something that would offer you a way to contribute to the world and yet keep the prophecy at bay. She was trying to save your life. Did she make the best decision? I don’t know. It looks like it was all in vain anyways. Here you are with a wand doing magic.”

Maerna fingered her wand lightly as she contemplated her next move. “Uncle Brent. I would like to hear the prophecy,” she said definitively. 

Uncle Brent just stared at her for a moment and then nodded. “I figured you would.” He pulled out a small vial of silvery substance. “I assume you have access to a pensieve.” Severus nodded curtly. 

Brent dropped the vial into the headmaster’s hand and grabbed his bag. “Maerna, I’m heading back. No offense, but this place isn’t too healthy for muggleborns at the moment. I want to get out of here before your ministry realizes I have lied to them.”  
Maerna jumped up and gave him a hug. “How are the people? The ones who came by portkey?”

“They’re good, I think. I just passed them along and MACUSA made them disappear,” he replied. “Come home soon. I love ya” He kissed her cheek and then disappeared into the floo.

___________________________

__

_On this day on which children are named_  
__

_Claimed by one who changes lives forever  
_

_Owning the wand is the reason for death  
_

_But venom will stop the heart  
_

_She must make the antidote  
_

_But only accepting pure love will allow a choice  
_

_To pass the veil or not_

Maerna pulled herself out of the pensieve yet again-7 lines, 49 words, but what did they mean? Severus had looked at it several times himself and written the lines down for further study but Maerna wasn’t ready to talk. Finally, about midnight, she approached him. He was at his desk, surrounded by paperwork that he despised.

“What do I do now?’ she asked feeling very helpless about the entire situation.

Severus put down his quill. “First thing you must understand is that not all prophecies come true. Second is, as much as you want to, don’t overanalyze the prophecy. Those confounded things are misinterpreted all the time,” Severus scowled like he felt personally responsible for a misinterpretation. ”Having said that, it is a good idea to be as prepared as you can.”

Maerna nodded. What Severus said was logical but the logical part of her brain wasn’t functioning at that moment. 

“The naming and claiming of the child. Does that fit in with a baptism ritual?” Severus asked.

“Yes,” Maerna said. “You are named as a child of God. Your parents claim you in His name and promise to raise you by His Word.”

“So it’s safe to say that your relationship with God has changed your life forever,” Severus noted. “Indeed, I have seen some of the amazing strength He has given you to do his work.”

Maerna looked up, startled. “A year ago, you wouldn’t even acknowledge that He exists.”

“Well, I’ve seen enough to hope He does. We need Him. Our world is a mess.” Severus said uncomfortably. 

“Do you think I should get rid of my wand?” Maerna asked.

“No,” he replied. “Let’s not go second guessing yourself. Line three is done. You own a wand. I’m more interested in lines four and five. I think they are the reason your grandmother allowed you to learn potions. She even pushed you a bit towards poisons and antidotes, didn’t she?” Maerna nodded. “She didn’t want the prophecy to happen but if it did, she wanted you to be prepared, so she gave you the best education possible: combination of chemistry and potions. I think we need to focus on this venom and the antidote. I have a hunch of what it is.”

“And the last two lines,” Maerna brought up hesitantly. 

“Those,” Severus sighed, “I don’t think you’ll understand until they are upon you and then you’ll have to make a choice.”


	40. Creating a Bucket List

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It sounds like, Severus Snape, that we need to make a post-war bucket list.”  
> “A what?” Severus tried to focus on her face.  
> “A bucket list. A wish list of things you want to do, but for whatever reason, haven’t had the chance. After the war is over, we’ll start on a list. Visiting that cemetery, visiting Lily, will be the first thing,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this grand plans to rewrite each chapter before I posted, but that hasn't happened, so if you are reading this chapter by chapter as they are posted, I posted chapters 34-40 together.

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her.

Winter is cold. It’s barren, with lack of life, empty. Winter had come early that year. LIke the weather outside, the hearts of the students were gray and dismal. The faculty tried their best to find cheer for the students, but it was challenging especially with a headmaster who was not noted for joviality.

Students were in the throes of end of term exams which sombered the mood of the school even more. No matter what was happening outside those walls, students were still expected to do well in their classes--well in most of them. 

Maerna worked long hours in her dungeon potion lab and the library. With three projects going plus regular brewings, timing was critical and she often wished for a nomaj timer to keep things straight. She was experimenting with various methods of dispersion having little success with the current potion that she had nicknamed the “Yaxley Puppet Potion.” She was also studying magical venoms and their antidotes in even more depth and she was still attempting a “vaccine” or premedicine to give the students before their detentions of torture. 

One evening, she was working on several cauldrons simultaneously when she heard a knock on the door. There was Neville leaning in the doorway again. “Hi,” Maerna greeted him and pulled him into the wards. The wards only allowed her and Severus in without permission. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” 

Neville came over with some empty vials. “Luna and Ginny had detention with the Carrows last night. They said the potion worked, but it worked too well.”

Maerna stopped stirring and gave him a strange look. “They were upset they couldn’t feel the pain.”

“Not exactly. It make them act really drunk. They couldn’t feel anything and giggled all the way through the detention.” Neville explained. Amycus was really mad and went overboard. They are in a lot of pain now.

“Damn,” Maerna threw the stirring stick down. “I increased the Eye of Newt too much especially for those two. They are lightweights and now the Carrows will be suspicious.”

“Yeah well, Amycus decided that they had been downing firewhiskey, so hopefully he’ll stick with that theory.” Neville said.

“Here,” she handed him two vials. “This is for the girls now. I’ll start experimenting again.”

“Thanks, Maerna,” he said taking the vials.

“No problems, Neville. You just know the rule,” Maerna smiled.

“Yeah, I don’t know where it came from,” Neville grinned.

Just then they heard a voice as smooth as silk and dripping with venom. “Mr. Longbottom. Why would a Gryffindor be in the dungeon especially so close to curfew? Shouldn’t you be in your nice, safe little tower.”

Neville spun around and blanched as his headmaster sauntered into the room. Maerna sent him a sympathetic smile and motioned him outward while turning her attention to Severus. 

“Sev, look at this potion, again. I’m frustrated,” she said as Severus slipped his hands around her waist and she giggled. She spun around in his arms to see Neville still standing there seemingly frozen in horror. She tried to motion Neville away but the boy wouldn’t move.”Fine, suit yourself, kid,” she thought as she slowly moved her fingers around Severus’s neck and pulled him down for a lingering kiss. By the time she surfaced, Neville seemed to have broken free from his trance and fled.

“Why was he here?” Severus growled into her neck. 

“Do you really want to know?” Maerna asked

Jealous annoyance flashed across his face. “Yes,” he demanded.

Maerna sighed and untangled herself. She walked across the room and picked up a potion. “He came for this,” she explained.

Severus uncorked it and began some preliminary tests. “It’s a pain potion,” he said.

“Yes, but it focuses on the part of the brain that the Cruciatus Curse impacts the most,” Maerna said.

Severus stared at her, trying to comprehend. “This is what you drank that I felt on Halloween night.”

“Yes, but now I’m trying to make a preliminary potion to drink before one goes in for torture,” Maerna explained. “I mean Carrows’ detention methods.”

He shook his head, “I had a feeling that you wouldn’t let that go. Remember, my rule: don’t get caught.”

Maerna nodded, “Which is why I have a similar rule for Neville. He pretends he has no idea where it comes from. He acts like he reports to an unknown source. Don’t ask. Don’t tell. Just report how it went back to Neville.”

Severus looked at her skeptically, “You think that imbecile can be trusted. He’s an incompetent, idiotic-””

“THAT idiot has done some amazing growing up since we saw him last year at Ollivanders. THAT idiot is the leader of your little student resistance movement. THAT idiot is one of those soldiers that your school is breeding and frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if THAT idiot plays a big role in the end of this war,” Maerna ranted. 

Severus just stared at her for a moment and then said quietly, “You have no idea what role he could have played in this war if some things had played out differently.” Maerna looked up at him quizzically but he just gave her a tense smile and pulled her away from the cauldrons, “Maeena, I want to talk to you about the venom from the prophecy.” 

Maerna immediately sobered up, turned the heat off of her cauldrons and gave him her full attention. 

“There are several different venoms to consider. We need to make an antidote that will cover all of them and a bezoar should do the trick, except for one type--and it’s the one I think you are most likely to come in contact with,” Severus explained quietly.  
“Nagini.”

Maerna closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “What do we know about her venom?”

“Not too much,” Severus admitted. “I know one person whom was bitten by her two years ago and survived. I’m sending you to him. He should be able to give you his healer’s name that made an antidote, but I want to be sure. I want to do more. I want to get a sample of Nagini’s venom to test ourselves.

Maerna arched her eyebrows at him. “Do you think the Dark Lord will allow us to?”

“I don’t know, but I’ve seen you get away with some amazing things in his presence,” Severus said. He absentmindedly flicked a bit of lint off his dark robes and gave her a rather weird smile

“And sometimes not,” Maerna emphasized. She winced involuntarily , remembering those interrogations where the Dark Lord had found her responses unacceptable. 

Severus nodded in aquescense. 

“Who is the man that was bitten? Why do you think he’d tell me about it?” Maerna asked.

“Oh, you know him. You’ve been to his house for dinner--Arthur Weasley.” Severus replied nonchalantly. Maerna’s head jerked up and she gave Severus an intense look.

“Interesting,” Maerna said. “May I asked what he did for Nagini to attempt to turn him into a meal?”

Severus absentmindedly began stirring one of her cauldrons and and gave her a silken smile.. “He was trying to protect something in the Ministry of Magic, something the Dark Lord wanted desperately--a prophecy.”

Maerna groaned, “Not another prophecy. I’m beginning to hate them as much as portkeys”

 

________________________________________________

It actually was surprisingly easy to convince the Dark Lord of their need of a sample of Nagini’s venom. Perhaps it was because they both already had an interest in poisons that he never really questioned their reasoning. Maerna told Severus later it was because God was watching over them. Severus had replied that he might believe that if they could actually get the venom without being bitten. Either way, they approached Voldemort the first evening of Christmas Break. Draco was home but didn’t look too pleased to be there. He watched behind hollow eyes as Severus and Maerna walked in and knelt before the Dark Lord.

“Yes, you may have a sample,” the Dark Lord allowed after a moment's  
hesitation, “But Nagini is not here. I’ve sent her to Godric’s Hollow to watch over the house in case Potter decides to visit. You’ll find her there. I’ll let her know that you are coming. Hopefully she won’t be too offended by your request.”

Severus and Maerna bowed and slowly backed out of the room. As they walked across the polished marble foyer, the front door swung in quickly with a loud bang. There stood Rabastan Lestrange in his Death Eater uniform, but what caught Maerna’s attention was the young woman with him. She wore the robes of a Ravenclaw, her long blonde hair tousled from the way Lestrange had been trying to drag her into the house. Maerna recognized her immediately and whispered her name under her breath, “Luna.” She had to give the student credit. As the Death Eater yanked on her arm, Luna sent him daggers from her silvery eyes and walked forward quietly, with purpose, refusing to allow him to gain total control. She walked up to meet her fate like a princess of royal blood.

Her eyes met Maerna’s as they passed. Maerna hoped that the young woman could see the sympathy in her eyes, but Severus had tightened his hold on her arm just then and simply nodded to Lastrange as they passed. When they finally reached the porch, Severus asked her, “Do you want to go to Godric’s Hollow tonight?”

Thirty seconds earlier, Maerna would have agreed but after having seen Neville’s lieutenant being dragged down to the dungeon, she shook her head no. “I’ve seen enough snakes for one day. Tomorrow will be soon enough ” Severus nodded and apparated them back to Hogwarts’ front gates.

As they walked to the castle, Maerna mentioned apparating. “The sixth years usually start their lessons right after Christmas. May I join the classes?” 

Severus considered her request and then nodded his approval. “Yes, it’s very useful skill and although you aren’t quite up to sixth year standards yet with your magic skills, I think you will do fine.” 

She linked her arm through his to gather some warmth against the frigid air. “You don’t think I’m ready to take my OWLS yet?” she asked innocently. 

He gave her a teasing smile. “In potions, NEWT level and beyond, In everything else, not yet. You’ve only owned a wand for four months. Put a little more practice in; however, you are learning at a tremendous speed. If you want to take your OWLs with the fifth years in the spring, then you are welcome to try. I knew you would be a formidable witch once you had a wand.”

“Actually, I was thinking I was rather scary before I even owned a wand,” she teased back kissing the faint scar that ran down his throat and to his collar. She slid onto a bench near a frozen fountain and smiled up at him playfully.

“Very true,” he murmured turning his head downward so his lips met her. ”from the moment I met you scary about describes the whole thing.” He sat down next to her and places his arm sound her shoulders.

Maerna rested her head on his shoulder. “Severus, what do you think about the line in the prophecy Owning a wand is the reason for death. I love my wand. It was, literally, made to order for me but I don’t think it’s more important than other wands. Why would someone want me dead over it?”

“I don’t know. It isn’t like someone else desired that wand but it didn’t pick him or her.” Severus admitted. “Perhaps someone will fear you because your magic is becoming stronger now that you have a wand.”

“Severus,” Maerna said. “I’m a thirty year old woman with the wand knowledge of a thirteen or fourteen year old. I would hardly consider myself a threat and I’m certainly not special.”

“The prophecy could take years to come to pass, if it does at all,” Severus said. “And I disagree with your opinion. I think you are very special.” Light snow began to fall. His eyes softened as he used his thumb to brush a few flakes off of her cheek. “I love you very much, Maerna. We will figure this out, together, okay?”

“Okay,” she replied softly. She put her head on his chest and closed her eyes. She could feel the golden blood bonding thread between them, but it was now thick as rope now and seemed to wrap around them again and again, keeping them warm and safe, together….....always 

 

_________________________________

They arrived on the edge of Godric’s Hollow just before four the next afternoon. The winter solstice was fast approaching and the sun was just about to say goodnight leaving, elongated shadows in its wake. They walked by rows of small houses, their feet crunching in the snow. Toward the end of the block, a darken dilapidated cottage stood. Part of the upstairs appeared to be blown from the house. Ivy and snow covered the rest. As they approached, Severus’s walk became reluctant. His pace slowed more and more until he stumbled directly in front of an old iron gate grabbing on to it for support. A small sign appeared in front of them.

 

_On this spot, on the night of 31 October 1981  
Lily and James Potter lost their lives _

 

This was as far as Maerna could read before Severus groaned and clutched onto her. “Have you been back, back here since that night?” she asked.

Severus shook his head. “I couldn’t. If one of the Dark Lord’s supporters saw me, they would know whose side I was on. They would figure out that I had defected, It was too risky and then time went by and. . .” 

Maerna tugged on his arm. Unfortunately, what he said was still true. “Severus, we have to keep walking. If Nagini catches us staring at it. . . “ Her voice trailed off. Severus didn’t seem to completely comprehend what she was saying but he turned toward the village center. He pulled himself together and began to walk slowly but more steadily to their goal.

People were bustling between stores, wrapping up their Christmas shopping and focused on their own agendas paying little attention to the couple. They silently moved through the square and up toward the church. It’s simple, elegant style fit in with the quaint village. Severus motioned vaguely toward the cemetery adjoining it. “I heard that she is, well actually they both are, buried here but I’ve never been there.”

Maerna paused and grabbed both of his hands, forcing him to look at her. “It sounds like, Severus Snape, that we need to make a post-war bucket list.”

“A what?” Severus tried to focus on her face.

“A bucket list. A wish list of things you want to do, but for whatever reason, haven’t had the chance. After the war is over, we’ll start on a list. Visiting that cemetery, visiting Lily, will be the first thing, okay,” Maerna said. A tiny bit of jealousy festered inside her, but she knew that Lily was in the past. She pushed it aside and squeezed Severus’s hand gently. 

Severus nodded and seemed to gain control of himself. “What else would you like to do after the war is over?” she asked.

“Quit teaching,” Severus answered without hesitation. “I hate teaching.” He paused for a moment, deep in thought, “and go back to Mexico.”

“Mexico?” Maerna said with surprise. 

“Yes, I loved the trip we took to Columbia and Mexico two summers ago. It was quiet, tranquil, no expectations of me and I was there with you,” he replied. 

Maerna grinned and pulled him in for a quick kiss, “Then we better brush up on our Spanish. Come on, let’s go find Nagini.”

Nagini was staying in one of the cottages. It’s yard was wild with weeds and the gate creaked as they opened it. The entire place gave off an aura of gloom, but as they approached, Maerna realized that it wasn’t just gloom but death,... death and dark magic. Severus rang the bell. A small, wizened old woman answered the door. As she looked upon them, Maerna’s skin began to crawl. She immediately closed her mind off. The Dark Lord might not be in this cottage, but he was here all the same. She couldn’t explain it, but he was in the old woman. 

Severus did not seem as unnerved as she. “Good evening, Nagini,” he addressed the old lady. “I assume the Dark Lord informed you of our pending visit?” The old woman simply nodded and led them into the dark hallway. She hobbled into a cluttered living room and motioned toward the fire. Maerna immediately lit up the grate so a ring of warmth filled the dark, cold void.

“We would,” Severus continued, “With your permission, of course, like a sample of your venom. You are a very unique snake and I believe your venom might have some unique properties that we are looking for. Would this be possible?”

The old lady didn’t reply. Her entire body seemed to be undulating, like something was moving in waves under her skin. Suddenly, her skin broke open at the shoulder and Nagini, in all her glory, slithered out, leaving the woman’s skin behind like a tossed away cloak. Maerna’s stomach twisted into knots and nausea washed over her but Severus didn’t even flinch. He held up two large vials. Nagini raised her mouth and Severus calmly placed the vials under her fangs. Maerna watched in morbid fascination as the venom dripped into the glass containers. Quickly, the vials were filled and Severus was magically corking them. 

Severus bowed in respect to Nagini never taking his eyes off the snake. “Thank you very much,” he said. Nagini simply stared at him for a moment and then turned away. She slithered back towards her old woman skin and began to crawl back into it, filling it out as she did, little by little until the old lady stood there staring at them. Severus nodded once more and walked them out of the front door. 

 

__________________________

It was nearing midnight. Maerna sat on the bed fingering a gold galleon, actually THE gold galleon. She had checked it everyday in case Hermione needed help, but the coin had never changed. She hadn’t tried to connect with Hermione because she knew the more they interacted with the rest of the world, the more danger they were in. Still, Maerna felt obligated to warn her. Using her wand, she imprinted on the coin. “Trap waiting at Godric’s Hollow. Do no enter.” The coin warmed for a moment and then cooled. Hopefully Hermione was checking her coin, too.


	41. “Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus just shook his head and changed subjects. “I wonder about Harry,” he said. “Have you heard anything? From your -er contacts?”
> 
> Maerna shook her head no. “No news is good news, right?” 
> 
> Remus looked at her carefully, “Are you okay, Maerna? Are you okay with him?”
> 
> “I’m not okay, Remus. None of us are, but I’m okay with him. We’re doing well together,” Maerna told him.

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her.

For the first time in the memory of all alive and probably most of the ghosts too, every single student went home for Christmas Break. Filch was, assuredly lurking around and Trelawney was hiding in her tower, but the halls were empty, echoing with a loneliness that filled the heart and the mind. Severus walked with purpose up the winding steps to the highest most tower, over to the parapet and leaned over. He didn’t come here often. The reminders of that fateful night last June filled the very stones of the Astronomy Tower, but tonight, he needed to be alone. He needed to think. He needed to reconnect to something. He just wasn’t sure what it was. He was hoping, in some bizarre way, being at the location of his mentor’s death would make Albus come back and talk to him. Not that portrait, which although well spelled with Albus’s memories, still wasn’t him but really come back. “Not that it’s actually possible,” Severus scoffed. “Even magic can’t bring back the dead.”

The wind whipped through his black hair and cloak as he stared out at the Forbidden Forest. “What do want of me?” he thought. “What do you want me to do? How am I supposed to fight? The Dark Lord is pure evil. He is so powerful. I’m barely holding on. How is Potter, a pathetic teenager supposed to defeat him? I need strength? We need strength, but where can it come from?” The wind, however, didn’t answer him.

Slowly he became aware of footsteps trudging up the staircase. Maerna was there. Lately, she was always there. She had, he admitted, become his rock of sorts holding him steadfast. “Severus,” she said hesitantly. “Severus, it’s Christmas Eve. I would like to go to church. Do you think it’s safe?” 

He wanted to tell her no. Of course it wasn’t safe. The Dark Lord would find out. Despite the intricate, skilled game of deception he played, he knew that someday they would be caught. Suddenly the wind shifted and a breeze of tranquility settled over him telling him it would be okay. “Yes,” he heard himself say, “I think that’s possible. Come on. I’ll go with you?”

 

They found a simple muggle church in a little town far away from any know wizards. The service was well attended and they slipped into the back just as the music began. The carols were nostalgic, reminding him of another world long gone. The message was simple: Love, Christ’s love for us and love for each other. The tears in Maerna’s eyes as they sang Silent Night seemed to wrench his heart in two. He pulled her into his arms and made God a promise. “Get her out of this war and that prophecy alive, God and I’ll do whatever you want me to.”

After the service, they apperated back to the cottage. He hadn’t been there since August and she spent little time there. Still there was one thing they had to do. They spoke not a word but got straight to work. Within minutes the house was sparkling with Christmas lights-Severus’s annual Christmas present to her. 

Not an hour later, he was summoned. Maerna quickly drank down some pain potion as a precaution but it wasn’t needed. He returned soon with a story. That afternoon, Potter and assumedly, Granger, had gone to Godric’s Hollow. Nagini had almost caught them but they escaped just as the Dark Lord arrived. Since he and Maerna had been the last people there, he wanted to talk to Severus. Maerna didn’t respond. She just stared into the fire and sipped her elf-made wine, wondering what happened to the Hermione’s gold Galleon. 

 

___________________________________

 

Maerna had made arrangements to have Christmas Day brunch with Remus and Tonks. Severus didn’t say anything as she got ready turning her hair black and straight with short bangs. She turned around for his approval and he wrinkled his nose. “I prefer blondes,” he explained. 

“Really, I prefer black hair,” she teased running her fingers through his shiny hair. That muggle shampoo was good for his hair . . . less grease, more body, she noted.

He responded by tapping his wand sharply on her head. “Ouch!” she exclaimed. It felt like he had broken a cold, raw egg on her head, but when she looked down, she appeared all but invisible. 

“Just an extra precaution,” Severus whispered. “When you get there, that werewolf should be able to undo it, hopefully.” The look in his eye suggested he’d be just as happy if Remus wasn’t that accomplished of a wizard. 

Maerna kissed him goodbye. “I’ll be back late this evening.”

“I’ll be waiting,” he promised.

The brunch was at Andromeda’s house and the menu featured many delicious Christmas delicacies. The hostess obviously loved to cook, a skill which she hadn’t passed on to her daughter. In true British fashion they dined on roast beef, goose, mincemeat pies, and figgy pudding with hard sauce. Their talk revolved around Tonk’s job as an auror, which was all but debunked due to the current ministry’s political position, potion-making and how Tonk was feeling. Now in her second trimester, there was no doubt that a baby was on the way. Several times Tonk placed Remus’s hand of her belly as the baby kicked. Maerma smiled and silently wondered if that was ever in her future. 

Maerna had been teaching Tonks how to brew the Wolfsbane over the last few months. Tonks was trying this month without Maerna’s direct supervision. The potioneer inspected this month’s batch and pronounced it promising. “But you are still going to make it yourself, Meg. Just in case I bungle this, correct.” Tonks looked at Maerna with worry in her eyes. Her hair turned a dismal shade of gray to reinforce the feeling of self doubt she projected.

Maerna laughed. “Of course, Dora. I’ve already started it. Which reminds me. I’m going to make this your annual Christmas present.” She handed them a colorful box with a tag that read “To an awesome couple: the Lupins. Thank you for always being there for me. Love, Meg.” Inside was most of the ingredients needed for six months of Wolfsbane potion.” 

Dora and Remus stared at her. “We can’t accept this, Dora said. Some of these ingredients are expensive,” Dora protested but Maerna waved her concerns away. 

“My husband can get most of it with little to no cost. His company can afford it, so don’t worry about it,” she told Dora but her eyes said something different to Remus. Being at Hogwarts and her supposed potion experiments for the Death Eaters, she could get any ingredient she wanted without thought of cost. 

“Thank you, Meg, We’ll accept it,” he said quietly taking the box from Dora. 

“Where is your husband?” Dora asked. “I never met him because he’s always traveling but I thought he’d be home for Christmas at least.”

“One would think,” Maerna said adding a pout to her lips, “But he’s working in the Middle East right now. December 25th doesn’t hold much meaning there. Now I’ve brought something else I want you to try. It’s a muggle Christmas tradition. In deference to babe, there is no nog in it but I still find it quite delightful.” 

Tonks accepted her explanation as well as a glass of eggnog. “It tastes a bit like an egg flip,” she noted as she finished up the cup. 

 

Later that day, Maerna pulled Remus aside. “I have a favor to ask of you. I need to talk to Arthur Weasley. Can you get me to him?”

“Well, of course,” Remus replied. “He still works at the Ministry. You can go up anytime to see him.”

“No,” Maerna said. “He’s a well-known blood traitor who is constantly being watched by the Ministry, so Maerna Danazul can’t be seen gossiping with him and Meg Darcy can’t be seen in the Ministry walking by her wanted poster. I’d rather meet him privately.” 

“Okay, I’ll owl him and see if we can go over this evening,” Remus offered.

“Thank you,” Maerna said, “but there’s one more issue. I need to ask him some questions but, for the safety of certain people, he can’t know I asked him those questions. I need you to erase his memory afterward.”

“Maerna! Meg” Remus corrected himself. “Do you understand what you are asking of me?”

“Yes, and I’m sorry, but if I tried to erase his memory. . . .Remus, I’ve only owned a wand for four months. Who know what might happened,” Maerna explained.

Remus sighed, “Okay, I’ll send him an owl.”

That evening, Maerna and Remus apparated in front of the Burrow and were brought into the wards. Dora had claimed fatigue and stayed home. They walked into the bustling eclectic home. Warmth and love seemed to radiate from every cheerful corner. 

“Meg, you’ve changed your hair,” Mrs. Weasley lamented as she hurried them into the kitchen. “The short, brown hair was so cute.”

“Yes, but unfortunately, very recognizable on my wanted posters,” Maerna interjected.

“Meg,” two voices called out from the stairs above in falsetto. “You changed your hair.”

“I like the long blonde curls,” said one of the voices.

“No, the redhead was hotter,” the other declared.

“How about the time she went bald,” the first suggested.

“Bald,” Maerna interrupted hotly. “I have never gone bald.” She reached out and gave each of the twins a hug. “I haven’t see you all in so long. How are you holding up?”

“Great!” 

“Superb!” 

“Amazing!

”Business is still booming!”

A cup of hot tea was thrust into her hands and the conversations bounced back and forth. Ginny and the twins were the only ones of the younger generation at home, but the twins’ energy was enough to fill up the entire house. Ginny, however, was very quiet. Molly confided in Maerna that a good friend of Ginny’s was taken off the train on the way home for Christmas break. “Luna,” Maerna thought her hands turning ice cold despite the hot tea they were wrapped around. 

On the way to the table for dinner, Maerna noticed that Arthur was limping a bit. She asked him if he was okay. He said it was an just an old injury acting up. “Actually, I got it two years ago last week.”

“What happened?” Maerna asked as they settled at the table.

Arthur seemed unwilling to discuss the details until he realized that she wasn’t so interested in where he was and what he was doing when attacked but rather the healing process. He talked about Healer-in-Training Augustus Pye and all the crazy ways he tried to stop the bleeding including a muggle method that called for sewing the bite up with stitches to which Mrs. Weasley gave a loud snort.

“I was raised mostly muggle,” Maerna explained. “My family used magical healing methods but I had friends who had stitches before.”

“Were you really?” Mr. Weasley’s interest piqued. “What do you know about computers?”

Maerna grinned, “probably enough to entertain you. What would you like to know?”

Later that evening, Maerna and Remus bade their goodbyes and apperated back to her cottage. 

“Meg,” Remus said. “I don’t understand what the point of that visit was. You never talked to Arthur. I never had to modify his memory.”

“Actually, Remus. I got all the information I needed.” Maerna said giving her friend a hug. “Judging by the expression on your face, you have no idea what I’m talking about which is good. It’s safer for everyone.”

Remus just shook his head and changed subjects. “I wonder about Harry,” he said. “Have you heard anything? From your -er contacts?”

Maerna shook her head no. “No news is good news, right?” 

Remus looked at her carefully, “Are you okay, Maerna? Are you okay with him?”

“I’m not okay, Remus. None of us are, but I’m okay with him. We’re doing well together,” Maerna told him. Her eyes were as sad as his were worried. “Thanks for a great day. I’ll catch you later.” She kissed his cheek and stepped into her floo. Remus knew the cottage well. He could let himself out. “Hogwarts Headmaster’s Office,” she declared and disappeared into a green flame.


	42. The Silver Doe and the Sword

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What was that thing?” Maerna asked.
> 
> A shadow crossed over Severus’s face. “A confirmation of a theory I’ve had. Some of the darkest magic that exists in the world.” he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really tried to keep this story in canon with the books. Since Even the Best Laid Plans focuses on Snape, this scene was a must. I just hope the perspective is different enough to keep your interest. 
> 
> Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her.

The next day, Maerna was walking along the corridors of Hogwarts talking to the portraits. She loved to do this in her spare time for the people in the paintings had seen many interesting things and were willing to share their stories. “In Hogwarts, the walls really do have ears,” she mused, “and they love to gossip about what they’ve heard.”

Sir Cadogan rode up on his fat pony and entered the frame that Maerna was standing in front of. “Milady,” he jumped off his pony and made a sweeping bow, the sword at his side clanking as it hit the ground. “The noble headmaster is searching for thee. I believe he is about to go on some sort of quest and would like you to join him.”

“Thank you, Sir Cadogan,” Maerna said respectfully, “You are truly a kind and noble knight to bring me this message. I shall depart immediately.” She gave him a little curtsy and head off for the headmaster’s office.

“There you are,” Severus snarled as she entered his office. “I have to go do something, something important. Would you like to come with me?”

Maerna raised an eyebrow. “As Sir Cadogan would say, am I allowed to know the nature of this quest before departure?”

Severus rolled his eyes at her humor. “I have to go give something to Harry Potter and I know where he is right at this moment. 

We need to move NOW before he and his cohorts move again, and I lose them all over again”

Maerna didn’t question twice. She nodded affirmative and raced into the bedroom to change. “And dress warmly,” he shouted after her. “We may be outside for several hours.”

____________________

It had been several hours. Severus swore they were in the Forest Dean, but they had been walking around for hours and yet to see a hint of Harry, Hermione or Ron. Maerna’s feet were frozen along with her shoes despite the warming spell she had placed upon her socks. It was now pitch dark. The trees here were so thick that even in the dead of winter, their branches created a thick blanket that blocked out the stars. 

Severus was getting more and more annoyed and more desperate sounding. He was dragging around a heavy, silver sword. When she asked why Harry needed it, Severus replied, “Because the headmaster says he needs it.” Maerna simply nodded. She knew he wasn’t talking about himself. He rarely viewed himself in that light. 

Suddenly, Maerna stopped. A tingling crept up her legs and sought to send her scurrying in a certain direction “There.” She pointed to a thicket of trees. “Just beyond those, there’s a clearing. It has magic in it.”

“What type of magic?” Severus asked. “Dark?”

Maerna reached out toward the space. The tingling continued to grow stronger and pulled her towards the spot she had indicated to Severus. “Yes, there is some Dark Magic but it’s surrounded by light. 

Severus muttered, “I bet it’s them. Granger must have put up the wards. Potter never would have been able to create them.” He grabbed Maerna by the arm and dragged her away from the thicket, searching for something on the ground. Finally he found what he wanted, a small but deep pool of water. “Diffindo” he said as he broke the ice in two and dropped the sword down into the water. Maerna stared down. The sword was now under about four feet of water. “I hope you aren’t expecting me to go swimming to pull that up,” she said. 

Severus snorted and resealed the ice. “The sword has to be taken in act of bravery and chivalry. It’s a Gryffindor thing, don’t ask. He found a large Y where two oak trees grew together. right at eye level--perfect for spying from. Then he muttered a spell and a large silver doe burst forth from his wand. She stared at them for a moment and then cantered off toward the tent. “She is really very beautiful. I bet she’s a true reflection of Lily,” Maerna said not with jealousy but more with admiration. 

Severus looked at her for a moment and then pulled her into his arms. “In some ways, the good ways, you remind me of her,” he said softly. They waited several minutes and then heard a crashing sound. The silver doe darted past them and stopped right at the sword. Harry Potter came breaking through the branches calling out “Wait!” But the doe didn’t wait. Severus closed his eyes, flicked his wand and the doe disappeared. Harry skidded to a stop right where it had been. It was too dark to see but Maerna could visualize the anguish on his face. The boy held his want aloft searching the ground and then he stopped and stared down into the pond. 

“At least he found it,” Severus muttered. They watched as the boy walked around the pond several times trying different spells as he went. Severus rolled his eyes. “Gryffindors-brawn and no brains.” Finally, Harry seemed to understand the requirements and began to strip off his socks and shoes. 

Maerna snickered under her breath, “Thank goodness I’m not a Gryffindor. I hate swimming in the icy water 

Finally Harry jumped in but almost as soon as he did, they could tell something was terribly wrong. Harry was thrashing around  
like someone was under the ice trying to pull him down to the silent depths. “Severus!” Maerna said in warming. Indeed Severus had already inched up and poised to run after the boy when a shadow came in from the other direction. Ron Weasley, Maerna realized rushed to the edge of the pond, sized up the situation immediately and jumped in after his friend. A few seconds later, he was dragging Harry, the sword and what looked like a gold locket out of the pond, gasping for air and shouting at his friend at the same time. “Are-you-mental?” 

The yelling calmed down to whispers. Severus pulled Maerna back into the shadows just in time because Harry came racing over to their former hiding spot moments later. They were much closer now and Maera could hear their conversations more clearly. They seemed to argue about the sword for a moment before Ron finally kept it. The locket was swinging in Ron’s other hand. It seemed to be almost twitching on its own like it was alive and it was nervous about being so close to the sword. 

Then Harry turned to the locket, placed it on a large rock and talked to it in a strange language. “Parseltongue,” Severus said almost to himself. He didn’t seem to be surprised. 

The locket open with a click that reverberated through the cold forest. With it came a wave of dark magic so powerful that it knocked Maerna backwards sending her heading spinning. It felt like a combination of that clearing she and Dumbledore visited in Mexico and the curse that has coursed through his hand but a hundred times more powerful. 

The locket began to talk, hissing at Ron who had the sword poised above it. Maerna covered her ears. But she couldn’t block out the dark magic that radiated from the locket. 

“I have seen your heart and it is mine,” the locket hissed at Ron. Harry shouted at Ron to stab it, but the redhead seemed frozen in fear unable to tear his eyes from the locket. It kept hissing at him, telling him more and more of his secrets. Harry kept yelling at him to stab it, but Ron actually started to back away from the locket. Then two images formed from the locket bubbling out in a grotesque manner--images of Harry and Hermione, red eyed and possessed, embracing each other. Finally, Ron found his Gryffindor courage, raised the hilt high and jabbed it toward the evil jewelry. There was a flash of light, the locket screamed a painful death and then silence.

“What was that thing?” Maerna finally asked.

A shadow crossed over Severus’s face. “A confirmation of a theory I’ve had. Some of the darkest magic that exists in the world. The Dark Lord at work” Maerna waited for more but none was forthcoming. They watched as Ron and Harry picked up the sword, the locket and Ron’s pack and headed back toward the tent. “They’ll never find it,” Severus muttered, “Not as stronger as Granger’s wards are.”

“Oh yes, they will,” Maerna said. “I’m the ward expert remember.” She raised her wand toward the thicket and closed her eyes in concentration. They followed Harry and Ron silently from a distance but the boys didn’t seem to have any trouble. They walked directly to the tent and disappeared into its wards.

“What did you do?” Severus asked curiously.

Maerna shrugged her shoulders and smiled at him with a deliberately innocent glance “I just sort make the wards wiggle.”

“Wiggle?” Severus looked at her in disbelief.

“Yes, you know, but a shimmer on them so they were easy to detect for a few minutes,” she explained. 

Severus nodded at her with a look of only partial belief . “Let’s head back. I need a strong, HOT drink”

“I want a hot bubble bath,“ Maerna mumbled. 

Severus smiled, “I’ll give you the password to the prefect’s bathroom.” He grabbed her hand, twirled his wand and they both disappeared with a slight pop.

 

_____________________________________________________________

Maerna passed onto Severus the names of Arthur’s Healers. By the end of the week, he handed her a file. Arthur Weasley’s medical records including potions that were used and created for his convalency. “Nobody was hurt and no one remembers a thing” was all he told her. 

So she was back in her potion’s lab in the Hogwarts’ dungeon. She shivered as she began the decomposition process of Nagini’s venom. No matter, how accomplished she became at warming spells, the dungeon was always damp and cold- with the type of cold that goes straight to your bones and resides there until spring. 

She was mostly left alone by the castle’s denizens. Neville would meet her, secretly trading information back and forth as well as vials of pain potion. The Carrows tried to ignore her and she returned the favor. 

Occasionally Slughorn would knock on the door and attempt admittance beyond her wards. Maerna would let him in and watch him like a hawk around her potions. He had deduced that she was brilliant at potions and was trying to ingratiate himself in the expectation of her potential future fame. Maerna could usually tolerate him for a few minutes or view him a self-required break from her labors. However, when he became a nuisance (and Slughorn inevitably did become a bother after a short period), she would simply modify her language using lots of muggle chemical vocabulary and concepts. Soon, Slughorn was out of his element and he knew it, so he would wander away and try again another day. 

Dobby came by almost every day bringing her lunch, chatting about life in kitchen and rumors he had heard. Besides her late evenings with Severus, this was her favorite time of the day. His lunches, usually of warm soups and stews, were delicious and he was always cheerful and his presence brightened up the dungeon no matter how dreary it became. He had also become her messenger and spy of sorts.

“Who has detention tonight?” Maerna asked him.

“Two Hufflepuffs and a Ravenclaw,” Dobby answered.

“What no Gryffindors?” Maerna mocked in horror. “Those that are brave at heart are going to be surpassed by an eagle and a badger?” Dobby wiggled his finger disappointedly at her sense of humor and Maerna rearranged her features into a contrite look. “Can you get me their ages and approximate weights so I can measure out their dosages?” Maerna asked. Dobby nodded, snapped his fingers and disappeared. 

Within fifteen minutes, he was back with what she asked for. Maerna never asked how he acquired his information and he never volunteered. She measured out the potion into three vials and handed them back to the elf. He bowed deeply and disappeared with a loud crack. She knew those vials would be placed on the students’ pillows before dinner with a simple sign. “Take this thirty minutes before detention tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many parts of this chapter came directly or indirectly from Chapter 19 of The Deathly Hallows by J. K. Rowling pages 365-379 (American Edition.)


	43. Just What the Doctor Ordered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She carefully studied the coin. The words around the edge had changed. “H is sick. Can you help?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a large gap between late December and Spring Break in Deathly Hallows that just begs for a tidbit about the trio during that time period, so here's my interpretation.
> 
> Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her.

It was a typical February evening in the Scottish Highland. Severus was hunched over his desk scowling at a pile of paperwork while Maerna was playing chess with one of the former headmasters. “Queen to E2,” called Headmaster Dippet from down the wall. 

Phineas Black scowled at the other portrait. “Do you mind. This is my game of chess,” he snapped. Then he mumbled quietly. “Queen to E2.” Maerna smiled at their bickering as the piece moved itself. Decades to centuries of being on the same wall with the same people had to become taxing after a while. 

Suddenly her pocket warmed considerably. Maerna casually reached in and grabbed the the gold coin. It was definitely warm to the touch. “Boys,” Maerna raised her eyes to the portraits. “I’m think I’m done for the night. I’d like to turn in now.” She faked a huge yawn and stretched. Headmaster Black nodded his assent and she pushed the board to the side to finish later.

She meandered into the bedroom aware that Severus’s eyes were on her retreating back the entire time. “He knows something is up,” she realized. “I don’t even know what yet and he knows something is going on.” She carefully studied the coin. The words around the edge had changed. “H is sick. Can you help?” Maerna thought about it for a moment. She needed a question that Hermione could answer but others probably wouldn’t know. Tapping the coin with her wand, the words appeared. “What is the curse put on OOP HQ to stop Snape?” Twenty seconds later, the answer appeared, “Tongue-Tying Curse.” Then more words followed. “Who knocked into me the first time we met?” Maerna grinned at this one. She had heard all sorts of stories including a rather funny one from three years earlier. “A blonde ferret,” she replied. Then she typed away. “Meet me four blocks east of St. Mungo’s in exactly one hour.” Only two letter came back, “ok.”

Fifteen minutes later, she emerged in straight, dark hair and dressed for the cold night. Severus glanced up. “How long will you be gone?”

“At least overnight. Hopefully, I’ll stay at the cottage tonight. I’ll send you a message when I’m there safe,” Maerna said. She paused in front of the fireplace and glanced back at Severus. He put down the document he was reading and looked up at her a bit hopefully.

“Do you want me to meet you at the cottage?” he asked.

“Actually, I’d refer you didn’t come.” she replied.

Severus sighed and motioned her over. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her onto his lap, “I thought we agreed that you weren’t going to go looking for trouble anymore.”

“I didn’t,” Maera objected. She held up the gold galleon which Severus instantly recognized from Dumbledore’s Army and his eyes narrowed. “Trouble found me this evening.”

He sighed again and released her. “Be safe,” he demanded. His voice was filled with resignation 

She gave him a quick kiss “Always,” and walked to the fireplace. “St. Mungo’s!”

 

 

___________________________________________

 

They were late. Maerna was annoyed for the first few minutes and then worried. Finally, she heard a distinct pop and a large mass melt into the shadows of a nearby alleyway. She approached the side street cautiously and put her hands up in a mark of surrender. A wand, directed at her, protruded from a shadow with Ron Weasley’s face behind it. Behind him, Maerna could hear a raspy cough and labored breathing. “Who brought you to the Burrow the last time you were there?” Ron’s voice was firm and in control.

“Actually you mean the last time you saw me there. I saw your parents Christmas afternoon, Ron but to answer your question it was Remus and Tonks,” Maerna replied. “What color is of most of your bedroom at the Burrow?” Maerna asked him.

“Orange,” Ron said lowering his wand. He nodded toward Harry. “He’s getting worse and--.”

Maerna cut him off “-and being outside isn’t helping. First, here,” she handed them each a small vial with bubbling mud. Then she opened her bag and produced three hairs, each one categorized neatly in its own bag. She dropped one in each vial. “These should be about your size so your clothes should be okay,” she explained. They each chugged it down and gagged. Harry was coughing so much that she thought he would throw it back up but he choked it down and began the transformation.

Soon three strangers were staring at her, one still coughing his lungs out. “There is a slight problem, Maerna said, “I can’t apparate well yet and I’d rather avoid using the floo network.”

“What do you mean you can’t apparate,” interrupted the tallest of the three. “Why can’t you? What kind of witch are you anyway?

“Ron,” the girl beside him whispered fervently.

“The kind who never had the opportunities that you have had. I’m learning but I don’t want to take three others in side along apparition and I doubt you want to be one of those people.” Maerna stated patiently. That shut Ron up. He remembered his last splinch. Maerna turned toward Hermione. “Can I give you a nearby town to our location and then we’ll apparate over little by little?”

Hermione nodded and held out her hands to both of them. Ron grabbed Harry to finish the chain. Maerna gave Hermione directions and they disappeared from the London alley. It took four jumps but Maerna finally saw the cottage within view. Slowly, she pulled each one through the wards and opened the door. Fifteen minutes later, Harry was sitting in front of roaring fire sipping some hot tea.

Quietly, Maerna pulled out a special parchment and wrote on it. “At the cottage with some friends. All safe. Please don’t come.” Then she tapped the paper and the words disappeared. He must have been watching the paper because not twenty seconds later, Severus’s thin, cramped handwriting appeared. “Okay, be safe. I love you.” Tears came to her eyes as she tapped the paper with her wand and the words disappeared. 

 

________________________________________

Maerna zipped in and out of the cottage-never telling them where she was going. She appeared at Hogwarts enough as not to warrant suspicion from the Carrows, but spent a majority of her time at the cottage. Harry wasn’t getting any better. Maerna had brewed every healing potion she could find associated with his symptoms. They might work for a day or so but then he’d take a turn downward. Ron and Hermione were getting nervous about staying in one place for so long. 

Finally, Maerna approached them one morning. “I think we should take Harry to a muggle doctor,” she said. 

“One of those nutters who cuts people open?” Ron demanded. 

Hermione placed her hand over his and turned to Maerna. “Why?”

“Because,” Maerna said sliding into a chair, “He doesn’t have a magical disease. He has an illness from, I guessing, being exposed to the elements. I’m sure St. Mungo’s could handle it but the truth is none of us are healers. Where have you all been staying?.”

Ron and Hermione exchanged glances. “In some rather drafty, cold places,” Ron admitted.

“What do you suggest?” Hermione asked.

“There are a lot of walk-ins, no appointment needed places. We take him in, give a false name, and confound anyone who tries to ask for an ID,” Maerna suggested.

Hermione nodded. “You have experience in the muggle world?” she confirmed the other woman. Maerna nodded. “Then I think it should be us to take him. No offense, Ron.”

They bundled up Harry and found a large clinic in the heart of London where one could easily get lost or, more importantly, not being remembered. Maerna gave them a name. Hermione whispered a spell and the were escorted into the examining room. The doctor was frazzled and overworked. Two hours and several tests later, he diagnosed Harry with “Advanced Pneumonia. I’d like to keep him in the hospital for a day or two. He’s condition is terrible. Has he been living on the streets?” the doctor asked. 

“Practically,” Hermione admitted.

“Hmmmmmm, I think that’s the best course of action,” the doctor recommended. “I’ll send the paperwork over to St. George’s. They’ll expect you there within the hour.”

The women exchanged glances and hauled their friend to his feet. As Maerna hailed a cab, Harry said to Hermione, “Use the imperius curse. It will be the easiest way to get through the front door.”

Maerna glanced at them sharply. “Have you ever done that curse?” she asked Hermione. 

The young woman shook her head no. “Our DADA professor did it on me once so we could feel it, but I’ve never actually tried the spell. What about you?”

“Done the spell? Never. Had it done to me? More times than I care to remember,” she said to the general astonishment of the other two but Maerna wasn’t giving details of her time spent with Lucius Malfoy.

Thankfully the brightest witch of her age pulled it off after several attempts and by nightfall. Harry was sleeping in a proper muggle hospital bed, hooked up to medicine and a breathing machine. Hermione stayed with him the first night and Maerna the second. Ron came in to visit but was so out of his element that he seemed to stick out no matter what he did. 

Maerna sat by Harry’s bed the second night holding his hand and praying. He had definitely improved but was still not out of the woods. She wished they could take him to St. Mungo’s. She was sure they’d be able to heal him much faster, but it was much too risky even under polyjuice potion. Then an idea came to her. Why hadn’t she thought of it before? She walked over to the wall, grabbed Harry’s file and whispered loudly. “Dobby!” Dobby appeared almost instantly with a loud crack. “Dobby, would you please apparate me directly into Madam Pomfrey’s Office?” Dobby gave a quick, little bow and held out his hand.

Ten minutes later, Maerna was talking to a rather sleepy Poppy Pomfrey as the healer perused the file. She looked at Maerna with uncertainty. “So you're telling me that I know you, but you won’t tell me who you are. A wizard I know is sick in a muggle hospital but you won’t tell me who or where.” Maerna nodded. “What do you want me to do?” the matron asked.

“I want you to examine him. I’m sure you know more of what to do than the muggle doctors do,” Maerna explained.

“If I examine him, I’ll know who he is,” Madame Pomfrey warned. 

Maerna nodded. “I know and I’m warning you. Someone will erase your memory of it when you are done.” Madam Pomfrey gave her a sharp look. “I know, I know. I thought the same thing when Albus Dumbledore approached me with a similar request. I still don’t know exactly what I did for three days. It takes a lot of trust,” Maerna said.

“Yes,” sniffed the matron “and I trusted Dumbledore but I don’t trust you.” 

Maerna smiled, “Perhaps you’ll trust the patient when you meet him.” She pulled out a hamburger wrapper and murmured some words over it. 

“What’s that?” Madam Pomfrey her curiosity peaked. 

“An emergency portkey. Someone else set it up. I just gave it a destination,” Maerna explained. 

Sighing, Madam Pomfrey grabbed her cloak and bag and then a corner of the wrapper. 

 

_____________________

As soon as Madam Pomfrey saw her patient, she threw down her things and rushed to his side. Maerna was completely forgotten as she examined Harry. Finally she finished and turned toward the other woman obviously about to fuss about Harry’s condition.   
“He’s doing better than he did 36 hours ago when they admitted him,” Maerna said. Madame Pomfrey sniffed. She obviously did not hold muggle medicine in high regard. Hermione arrived soon after for the day shift and was greeted with a huge hug from the Hogwarts Matron.

“Let’s get him out of here,” Madam Pomfrey declared and the other two agreed. A nurse walked into the room twenty minutes later to find it empty, patient gone. On the pillow was a bag with the hospital’s director’s name on it. Puzzled the nurse, called her supervisor who called her supervisor. Finally the bag was placed in the director’s hands. He opened it curiously to find a stack of over 8000 quid and a note. “Thanks for the help. Sorry we didn’t check out properly.” He immediately contacted the financial office and registration office, but neither had a record of the patient in that room.

Madame Pomfrey didn’t ask where the cottage was located. Her former students referred to the woman as “Meg” and so did she. Dobby picked her up from the hospital wing every morning and every evening to visit her patient. She was in constant fear of the headmaster discovering her absence, but he seemed thus far oblivious. 

Finally, after a week, Madame Pomfrey declared him fit. “Just take it easy and stay off the quidditch patch,” she told him sternly. Harry grinned and gave her a huge hug. Then the matron followed Meg and Hermione out the door. 

“Remember the deal? I’m sorry to do this to you but you see Snape every day and he is an accomplished legillimest. We can’t take chances. ” Hermione told the elderly lady. Madame Pomfrey nodded. 

“Thank you for everything. Hopefully someday, I’ll tell you about this,” Hermione said giving the matron a hug and then pointed her wand at her.

Suddenly the lady found herself on the path between Hogwarts and Hogsmeade. She wasn’t sure how she got there but remembered the agreement to have her memory erased because of an unknown patient. She tried to shake the cobwebs from her brain and hurried up the path to the castle.

As she approached the gates, she saw Snape’s woman strolling nearby. Madame Pomfrey rolled her eyes. The woman wasn’t horrible, but the matron certainly didn’t approve of her. Maerna greeted the older woman and asked her where she was coming from so early in the morning. Madame Pomfrey stuttered a bit at the question and a glint appeared in the younger woman’s eyes as she unlocked the gate for the healer. She looked both ways furtively and asked. “Is it true, Poppy?”

“Whhhaat?” Madam Pomfrey’s eyes grew big. How did Headmaster Snape already know about her secret patient?

Maerna pushed open the gate and smirked. “I heard some students say that you are sweet on some guy in the village. Is that where you are coming from at 7:00 in the morning?”

Madam Pomfrey was horrified that students were hearing rumors about her of all people. She turned a deep shape of red and pushed past the gossiping woman. Whoever this secret patient was she helped, she hoped he or she was worth it.


	44. Anger Management

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There isn’t anything else!” Maerna snarled. “I’ve done every possible combination of every known ingredient used in antidotes. Some have promise but nothing is working, not really.”
> 
> Even though he knew most of her notes as well as she did, he still skimmed through them. “There is one ingredient that you don’t have in here at all--Phoenix Tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry did a lot of stupid things in the book, but there was one particular one in OoP that was never really addressed, so I decided to give Harry a tongue lashing for it in this chapter.

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her.

Harry was on the mend and Ron was making noises about moving onward. Never had they stayed in one place as long as they had cottage and he was beginning to worry. Sometimes Ron felt like he could feel the putrid breath of the Death Eaters as they closed in on the trio.

“We’ll be out of here by Friday,” Hermione promised coming out of the bathroom while towel drying her hair. She had been enjoying the luxury of hot water for the last three weeks. Although she knew they must move on, Hermione was loathe to return to tent life on the run. ”That will give Harry three more days of rest. HIs cough is almost gone.” The others agreed.

“Meg?” Hermione turned towards Maerna. She shook the last of the excess moisture off her head and continued her question. “When I contacted you, you asked me what curse was used to keep Snape from telling the Death Eaters about Grimmauld Place. How did you know that?”

Maerna put down her spatula after flipping a batch of pancakes and turned to the younger woman. “A member of the Order told me,” she said vaguely and then redirected the conversation. “I sent you a warning about Nagini. Did you not get it?”  
Harry’s head shot up from the coach and Hermione’s face flamed red. “No, the coin was at the bottom of my bag. I hadn’t looked at it in weeks. I didn’t see it until I tried to contact you about Harry.”

Maerna accepted the explanation and turned back to her pancake batter but the anger on Harry’s face began to rise. “What do you mean warning!” he yelled. “She told you Nagini was there. She tried to warn you. All you had to do was look at a stupid coin at the bottom of your little bag and you couldn’t do that. MY WAND If we hadn’t gone there, my wand wouldn’t be broken.”  
Hermione was on the edge of tears but Maerna was the one who turned towards him with fury in her eyes. She knew Severus could not stand Potter calling him egotistical and self-absorbed, but she had never actually seen a sample of it until now. “Don’t you blame her, Harry Potter. She made a mistake. Same as you have many times in your life.”

“I have never made a mistake that big before,” Harry defended himself hotly. “I have never made a mistake so big that someone almost died because of it.” 

“Oh, really,” Maerna narrowed her eyes, “Tell me, how might events had been different if you hadn’t made a mistake about the mirror.”

“What mirror?” Harry shot back.

“The two way mirror that Sirius gave you. The mirror that you could have contacted him with before you left for the Ministry that fateful night. Where was that mirror? Probably at the bottom of your bag!” Maerna exploded on him.

The three just stared at her speechless. Harry’s face drained of color. He threw his pumpkin juice against the wall. The mug smashed into pieces, orange liquid splattering everywhere. Then he marched out the backdoor, slamming it as hard as he went  
Maerna threw down her spatula she was still holding and rubbed her forehead. “I’m sorry, guys. I shouldn’t have said that to him,” she apologized.

“How do you know all that?” Ron asked.

Maerna didn’t answer. She just waved her hands around a bit in distress. “Give me a list of what you want to take with you: nomaj or magical. Food? More blankets? Potions? etc. and I’ll get them ready,” she offered and then slipped down to the basement. 

 

______________________________________________

Maerna hadn’t reemerged from the basement and Harry hadn’t returned from the cold. Ron and Hermione had cleaned up the mess and were quietly making plans, creating a wish list of supplies. Suddenly a silver blur jumped through the window. It sped about the room for a moment and then passed through the basement door and down the steps. The couple looked up in surprise. Someone was delivering Maerna a Patronus message.

Almost immediately, Maerna raced up the stair. Her voice was urgent but in control. “Some Death Eaters are coming. I think they are here for me, not you. Get Harry and get down to the basement. Take anything in this room that is evidence of your visitation. Hide down there unless you hear them coming down the stairs. Then be ready to fight. They’ll be here in less than a minute.” 

They just stared at Maerna for a split second and then jumped up. Hermione waved her wand, pulling everything of theirs into a pile while Ron ran to the backyard for Harry. Maerna readjusted the blankets so the makeshift beds disappeared. The trio was moving down the basement steps when Maerna heard steps on the front porch. 

Once downstairs, Hermione pulled out some Extendable Ears from her beaded purse. She placed them on the ceiling of the basement and the three huddled around. 

“Bella, how wonderful to see you again. You haven’t visited in so long. What is the special occasion?” Maerna’s voice definitely sounded more facetious than gracious to the female Death Eater.

“I’ve come to get you. The Dark Lord would like an update,” Bella sneared.

“Of course. Let me go get some samples and notes to show him,” The trio exchanged looks. Why did Voldemort want to see Meg and why didn’t she seem surprised? What was the woman involved in? They could hear Maerna’s steps heading toward the basement door.

“Do you need some help?” a silky, smooth voice cut in. The trio froze. Snape! Harry curled his fist into a ball as Ron put his hand on his shoulder and shook his head no. They didn’t know how many Death Eaters were up there.

“No, thank you,” Maerna said pointedly. “I’ll just be a moment.” 

“Leave your wand here,” Bella ordered with a snarl. 

“Ahh, Bella, I thought you’d be more afraid of my knife than my wand,” Maerna was obviously trying to get a rise out of the witch about something.

The stairs creaked as she moved downward. Hermione opened her mouth when she saw the woman but Maerna shook her head silently. She stalked over to her lab, gathered some vials and sheets of paper. One of the vials, with brown and yellow liquid, she uncorked and drank it down quickly. Then she gave them a tight smile, put her finger back on her lips for a moment, and headed back up.

“By the way Bella,” they heard Maerna say. “You have lost a lot of weight recently. You look good and I guess congratulations on are in order. Sorry, I never got around to buying a gift.”

They couldn’t hear Bella’s response, but did hear Snape say, “Here’s your cloak and wand.” Maerna thanked him and the door was shut. Silence entombed the house.

 

Maerna finally made it back to the cottage close to midnight. She was exhausted but pleased. She had, once again, given the Dark Lord just enough of an update to keep him satisfied. As soon as she passed the wards, she could tell something was different. “Ron? Harry? Hermione?” she called out. There was no response. Any evidence of the trio was gone. Maerna looked around. A lot of her food had disappeared as well as several of her ready made healing potions. She glanced at a small pewter cauldron that was bubbling in the corner. She hoped they had their own polyjuice potion. Her newest batch was still brewing and wouldn’t be ready for two more days. 

In her bedroom, she found a note on her pillow. “We decided it was time to move on. Thank you for all your help. We hope you return to get this note.” Maerna nodded to herself. She pulled a gold galleon out of her robe and tapped her wand to it. “Good luck. Tell H. I’m sorry for what I said. His godfather loved him very much.” Then she set the coin and wand down on the dresser and fell into a deep sleep. 

_________________________________________

Maerna was beyond the realm of frustration. She stared at the vial of murky syrup in awe and disgust. Nagini’s venom was unlike anything she had ever seen. Her venom attack seemed to come in two layers. The first layer was designed to be almost certainly lethal. If one survived that, the residual of the venom kept wounds from binding so, potentially, the person could bleed to death. 

Only by the grace of God, Arthur Weasley’s body survived the first round of toxicity. His medical reports focused on the second layer. Maerna skimmed through the healer’s notes. The potion for clotting was actually rather simple, unorthodox but simple. She could brew it up in a matter of hours.

It was the initial goal of the venom she was concerned about. She had mixed and matched common and uncommon antidotes to venoms but with little success. She and Severus had spent hours discussing and experimenting. Even with the strongest antidote they had created, she only estimated the survival rate at about twenty percent.

It wasn’t just the lack of progress on the antidote that was bothering Maerna. It was the prophecy itself. 

_On this day on which children are named ___  
_Claimed by one who changes lives forever ___  
_Owning the wand is the reason for death ___  
_But venom will stop the heart ___  
_She must make the antidote ___  
_But only accepting pure love will allow a choice __  
_To pass the veil or not ____

____

____

_____ _

_____ _

She and Severus had discussed it at length and Severus had warned her not to overanalyze it, but she still felt she was missing something-something very important.

Maerna sighed and shifted back to the cauldron. She began to stir five times clockwise, one time counterclockwise when the potion began to smoke and turn a strange shade of gray. Instinct took over and Maerna threw herself onto the stone floor as the entire things exploded sending bits of potion and pewter flying across the room. Severus walked in just then to Maerna hiding under the table.

“Are you okay?” he asked. He crouched down and offered her his hand. Maerna nodded, stood up, looked around at the disaster and promptly burst into tears. 

Once she started she couldn’t stop. She knew that Severus detested tears but it didn’t matter at that moment. She just stood there and the waterworks flowed. Severus sighed. Sometimes women were inexplicable. He pulled her into his arms until her sobs quieted down to small whimpering.

“What’s wrong?” he finally pulled away from her leaving a soggy mess on his robes. 

“Everything!” Maerna wailed. “I can’t find an antidote. It’s impossible! And this prophecy. Something is wrong about it. I can feel it but I don’t know what!”

“Okay, Okay. Let’s look at one thing at a time. The antidote. We’ll figure something out.”

“There isn’t anything else!” Maerna snarled. “I’ve done every possible combination of every known ingredient used in antidotes. Some have promise but nothing is working, not really.”

Even though he knew most of her notes as well as she did, he still skimmed through them. “There is one ingredient that you don’t have in here at all--Phoenix Tears.”

“I know that,” Maerna snapped. “Do you have a way to ask a phoenix? The only one that anyone around here as ever even met, disappeared almost a year ago. Fawks hasn’t been seen nor heard from since Dumbledore’s funeral”

Severus didn’t say a word. He knew this as well as she did. He just pulled her closer again and whispered close to her hair, “I love you. We will figure this all out.”


	45. Mingling with the Malicious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus was always so calm and collected. She had never heard him sound so unsure, but here he was fumbling as he opened a small jewelry box.

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her.

“Would you hold still? I can’t tie this if you keep wiggling.” Maerna’s exasperated voice floated through the door making the portraits chuckle.

“I hate wearing these confounded things,” Severus sneered tugging at his throat.

“You act like you’ve never had to wear formal robes before,” Maerna said. “Haven’t you ever warranted an invitation to this ball before?”

Severus stared down his long nose at her. ”I am a longtime member of the European Potion Guild, was the Potion Master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and am considered one of the best potioneers currently alive. Of course, I’ve warranted an invitation before.” He continued to tug at his cravat. “I’ve just never been in a position in which I was actually required to accept the invitation.”

Maerna grinned as she gave the tie one last twist, “Well, I guess it’s part of the promotion to headmaster.”

Severus scowled at her and examined her handiwork, “You did a nice job,” he begrudgingly said. “Where did you learn to do that?”   
“Uncle Brent,” Maerna informed him “My aunt died about twenty years ago. As soon as I was old enough, he started inviting me to any formal function where society expected him to have an escort. He joked that I was his arm candy. I had a great time and met some very interesting people. One time, I even got a hot date.” 

Severus stopped searching for his cufflinks and arched his eyebrows. “And who exactly was this ‘hot date?” 

Maerna grinned, “Honestly, I don’t remember his name. The son of some Argentinian diplomat. He decided to impress me by demonstrating his abilities with fiendfyre. He had no idea what he was doing and caught the woods on fire. Luckily he apparated us out and came back with enough people to subdue the flames, but not before taking out half of a nomaj wildlife refuge. Like I said, he was a hot date.”

Severus rolled his eyes and tried to play with the cravat again, but she swatted his hand away and slipped away to finish her own hair.

A few minutes later, she returned. “Is this okay?” she asked.

Severus turned around and felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. She wore robes of the lightest blue silk chiffon and looked like a cloud floating in the breeze. Her hair was done into a dramatic upsweep that added to the ethereal effect 

She had added sparkling blue eyes shadow and a most heavenly scent. She gave him a shy smile like she wasn’t entirely comfortable with the clothing but that just made her even more alluring. 

He grasped her glove laden hands and pulled her closer to the dresser. Then he turned away for a moment and rummaged through the drawer. “I was in Diagon Alley a few weeks ago. I saw this in the window of Talismans. I wasn’t sure. But if you want, I mean, it’s okay if you, but when I saw it, I just thought of you,” Severus stumbled over his words. Maerna smiled encouragingly. Severus was always so calm and collected. She had never heard him sound so unsure, but here he was fumbling as he opened a small jewelry box.  
Inside lay a pair of sapphire teardrop earrings. Maerna gasped, “Severus, I can’t accept-” He placed a finger on her lips. “Yes, you can Maerna. I don’t know what is going to happen over the next few months or even years, but no matter what does I want you to have something to remember me by. Please accept them.” His eyes were so earnest and bright that all she could do was nod. Carefully, she put them on and presented herself.

A ghost of a smile flitted across his face. “Thank you,” he said simply. “It is amazing how God has taken a horrible act I did in kidnapping you and turned it into something I cherish so much.”

 

_______________________________________

Level Eight of the Ministry of Magic was decked out in purple and gold for the 291st celebration of its founding. After Maerna arrived through one of the fireplaces, she marveled at the exotic decor. Floating golden chandeliers revolved around the ceiling as if they were orchestrating their own dance. Fountains of gold and purple bubbles turned to iridescent balls that floated among the guests. Trays upons trays of food wound their way through the crowds, offering delicious delectables and flutes of bubbling drinks.

It amazed her that the ministry could have this social gala her yet just two floors lower, muggleborns were unjustly sentenced to imprisonment or death. But the MInistry seemed to be built on Schadenfreude lately. 

“Severus!” A voice boomed almost as soon as they appeared. “We finally got you to come to one of our little get togethers.” Pius Thickness, the Minister of Magic himself, clasped the professor on the shoulder in an overly friendly way. 

Severus immediately stiffened and turned to Voldemort’s governmental puppet. “Prime Minister, I was given the understanding that my attendance was not optional this year,” he replied coolly but the prime minister had already sampled several drinks from the rotating trays and didn’t seem to notice Severus’s lackluster response. Instead he leaned in to oogle at Maerna obviously waiting for an introduction. 

“Prime Minister, may I present Maerna Danazul,” Severus said obligatorily.

“Charmed,” the Prime Minister responded attempting to kiss her hand but slipping and landing on her shoulder instead. Severus firmly grabbed the man’s arm and repositioned him upward before moving her away from the hazard zone. 

“Is he normally like that” Maerna whispered.

“I have no idea,” Severus replied blandly. “It could be too much nettle wine or the side effects from eight months under the Imperius Curse. Either way, his brain is rather addled. I’d stay away from him.”

Maerna looked at him sharply. “I wish I could laugh because you were joking but I know better.”

“I know you do. You’ve never been one of those dotty women who can’t see beyond the designer label of her robe,” Severus said.

“If I was that type of woman, I doubt we would have met. I never would have written The Secondary Effects of Scopolamine and Its Possible Uses and Ethics Thereof,” Maerna said.

“Valid point,” he mused. His eyes skimmed the room. ”Now there’s a woman who can talk fashion yet is bright enough to handle herself.” He used his drink to gesture to a tall woman with straight blonde hair, dressed in the deepest green robe. 

“Narcissa?” Maerna sipped her wine. “I’ve been very thankful for her. Over the last six months or so, she has taken me under her wing, shown me the ropes. As you know, I’ve attended several teas put on by her and her friends. She has always been the most respectful to me. To say she’s having the year from hell is an understatement, yet you would never know by observing her tonight.”

“She’s as manipulative as she is beautiful. Every word she says. Every action she does has a purpose. She is never off the stage and always has her eye on her goal” Severus explained.

“Which is part of the reason Lucius has been so successful,” Maerna supplied. “At least up to this year. I’m honestly surprised at your attitude, Severus. I owe her my life and you know that.” Maerna took an interesting looking puff pastry as it was offered by a passing enchanted tray.  
Severus turned toward his, his black eyes softening allowing the lines of his face to relax every so slightly. “I will never forget it,” he whispered. “At the same time, don’t ever forget that her first allegiance is to the Malfoy/Black family. She will shred you to bits if it was for the betterment of them.”

“Understood,” said Maerna who went back to sipping her drink and nipping her pastry which had proven to be filled with lobster. “Now, let’s go meet some of these fascinating people. Remember as Headmaster, you need to be social.” She reached up and lightly kissed the scowl on his face.

Maerna circulated among the crowd, playing the part of the “date” of an esteemed member of society. She flirted just enough to make the grandfathers feel young and laughed just enough to make the fools appear witty. Severus watched her and envied her ease at handling these social situations. 

“Your date is beautiful,” Albert Runcorn approached Severus. “How the hell did you get her to come with you?”

Severus’s eyes narrowed and he considered hexing the man for his line of questioning. As he eyes fell on the Runcorn, it occurred to him that the man might be joking. Severus sighed. This is why he hated social functions. In some ways, he’d rather go up against the Dark Lord. At least then, he knew what to expect. 

“I considered the Imperious Curse,” he quipped, “but then she came because I asked.” He spent a few minutes trading anti-muggleborn ideology with the man before making his escape. He glanced around the room and realized he couldn’t find Maerna anywhere.

 

Maerna had finally escaped Rabastan Lastrange, Bellatrix’s brother-in-law. Since she had come with a fellow Death Eater, one would think he would realize she wasn’t available, but that hadn’t stopped him from trying. His breath reeked of stale Firewhiskey and his hands kept wandering all over her robes as they danced.

“What is a dame like yourself doing with a greasy git like Snape,” he slurred as they moved around the room. Maerna rolled her eyes but smiled at him. 

“Looks don’t impress me,” she replied. 

“Oh really? What then?” His hand moved lower on her backside and she shifted attempting to put some distance between them. 

“How strong they can curse,” Maerna blurted out before thinking. “There are not many that can beat Sev in that department.”

Jealousy crossed Rabastan’s face. “It’s not like Snape actually acts like a Death Eater anyways. I can’t remember the last time I saw him at a raid.”  
Maerna stiffened and pretended to be outraged. “Severus is doing exactly what the Dark Lord has ordered him to do or do you think you can outguess the Dark Lord on the worth of Snape?”

Rabastan immediately quieted down and moved his hands to a more appropriate location. Maerna relaxed a bit but the firewhiskey starting taking again. “Severus doesn’t do any of the fun activities anymore?”

“Fun?” Maerna questioned him.

“You know, the raids and stuff.” Rabastan explained. “We have one at 2 o’clock tonight in Brighton. Rumors have it there are a few muggleborn hidden on a farm, so we’ll get them, whoever else is living there and have ourselves a bit of fun tonight.”

Maerna fingered her wand and whispered Legilimens almost to herself. Severus had been working with her on the skill and she was far from proficient, but it   
didn’t matter. Rabastan was hammered, he was practically screaming the information to her. In his mind, she could see a yellow farmhouse with a red barn in the background. 

“Good luck with that, Bas. Maybe you better lay off the drinks. You can’t go to that completely trashed. The Dark Lord will be furious,” Maerna suggested. Rabastan nodded like he agreed and then grabbed a passing glass of wine. Maerna managed to slip away while he downed it one gulp. 

Maerna’s skimmed across the room. The chances of a member of the Order being here was highly unlikely. Whom could she trust? Her eyes rested on a beautiful blonde with flowing hair: Fleur Weasley. If Fleur was here, that meant, her eyes continued their search until they rested up the long red hair and a fang earring

She slipped away and found a tucked away cupboard to change. Two minutes later, out stepped a woman with curly brown hair, green eyes and sunkissed skin. She sauntered back into the atrium and weaved her way through the crowd until she reached Bill. “Darling,” she exaggerated. “May I please borrow him for a dance?” She snagged Bill away from his conversation partner and steered him to the dance floor.

A slow song had just begun and Maerna wrapped her arms around him much more tightly than proprietary allowed but made easier for private conversations. “Bill,” she whispered, “It’s Meg Darcy.”

Bill stiffened for a moment and then studied her eyes. “Prove it,” he said simply. So Maerna described a rescue they had worked together in which six people were sent to America by portkey. Bill nodded and tightened his grip around her. “How have you been?” he asked.

“Okay, surviving,” she replied. “Rabastan Lestrange is completely sloshed. He just told me with great glee there’s going to be a raid on some hidden muggleborns tonight in Brighton.” She relayed all the details as Bill listened attentively. “I checked him with legilimency. He’s seems very sure it was the truth, still be careful that it isn’t a trap.” 

“Thank you,” Bill said. 

“Another thing, I didn’t dare put in writing. I saw Hermione, Ron and Harry a few weeks ago-in early February,” Maerna shared.  
Bill froze quiet forgetting to dance. “And?”

“They are all fine. Harry was a bit sick but we get him feeling better and they left. I have no idea to where,” Maerna said.

Bill nodded. “That’s probably better.”

“Have they heard from Ted Tonks?” Maerna asked. “I haven’t talked to Remus since Christmas.”

Again Bill nodded. “He got them a message about a month ago. He’s traveling with a goblin named Griphook and they are surviving, constantly moving.“

This time it was Maerna’s turn to freeze. “Bill, Griphook was discovered in hiding about about a week ago. I don’t know anything about his traveling partners but I know he was the only one taken prisoner.”

Bill cringed and then looked around. “The song is over,” he said hoarsely.

“Good luck and I’m sorry.” Maerna squeezed his hand and melted into the crowd.

 

Ten minutes later, Bill had explained everything to Fleur. They were waiting for a friend before the three of them left the party to deal with the Brighton   
situation. She looked around the room inquisitively. “What doez she look like?” Fleur asked.

Bill shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. She looks different every time. I’m not completely confident what her natural look is. This time she had brown, curly hair.”

“What color were her robes?” His wife asked.

“Ummm, blue, I think,” Bill said. Fleur sent him an incredulous look-men. “Maybe that one over there.” He pointed to a woman with wavy, blonde hair and sky blue robes.

Their friend came up just then. “Trying to figure out who your mystery informant is? I seriously doubt that’s her.“

“Why?” Bill asked.

“Well, that woman is in deep. She would certainly know information but from what I’ve heard she’s very loyal to her Death Eater boyfriend,” The man finished his mini cannoli and dabbed his mouth with a napkin.

“Who is she dating?” Bill’s curiosity got the better of him. 

“That, my dear Bill,” his friend said dramatically, “is Snape’s girl.”


	46. Tears of Sorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slowly Maerna became aware of sound, of a song, a sorrowful song that made her heart cry out just from listening to it.

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her.

 

Once again the castle was silent. Students were in the midst of spring break and those who did stay were holed up in the library or their common rooms. Maerna was, as usual, down in her private potions lab. She had perfected the anti-pain potion and was making gallons of it. Small bottles were passed out to the prefects of the three houses. They would ensure it was given to those who needed it. Somehow more always appeared when needed so they continue disseminating it for those in detention.

Maerna was wrapping up the last bottling when she heard a familiar pop. “Hi, Dobby. How are you?”

“Very well, thank you, Miss Maerna.” The little elf was decked out in all purple today. Maerna laughed to herself. He had more sweaters and hats than the biggest fashionista of the Hufflepuff house. 

Maerna studied the elf for a moment and with impromptu thought said, “Dobby, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?”

The elf’s eyes grew and he seemed hesitant. Sitting down to dinner with a witch was unheard of, even for a free elf. Maerna sensed his hesitancy. “We spent so much time together at the cottage but now I rarely get to see you. You might pop in, run an errand for me but we haven’t really had a conversation in a long time.“

Dobby grinned and nodded. He finished his work and came by with a delicious dinner for two. They talked about the kitchens and what elves were hearing at other houses. Dobby shared stories about past students that he had heard. By the end of the dinner, tears of laughter were streaming the woman’s face.  
Finally, it was time to retire for the evening. Maerna spontaneously hugged the little elf. He gave her a quick bow and disapparated with a pop. Little did she realize that was the last time she’d ever see him. 

 

Two days later, Severus woke her up. “Something is wrong. Get dressed and be ready.” Maerna didn’t ask question but quickly dressed and moved out to his office. She left her traveling cloak and “the bag” on the chair, ready to go in a moment’s notice. Taking the idea from a beaded bag that Hermione carried around, the rucksack had an undetectable extension charm on it and carried everything Maerna thought they might need “just in case” they had to leave Hogwarts quickly. 

Maerna waited patiently in the chair for Severus’s return. Some of the portraits attempted to engage her in conversation but their efforts were in vain. About three o’clock in the morning, he returned looking haggard and concerned. “Some snatchers caught Potter and his two friends and took them to Malfoy Manor a few hours ago,” he started without preamble. Maerna simple stared at him portraying nothing which brought a smile to his face. She had learned well. ”I’m not clear how, but they managed to escape and took Ollivander, Lovegood, and some goblin with them.”

Maerna nodded. “How very Gryffindor of them.” Severus just snorted in response. “That’s good,” She said. “Ollivander wasn’t going to last too much longer. I snuck them some food when I visiting Narcissa a few weeks ago. He was very weak. Where are they now?”

Severus shrugged. “Unknown. Within an hour of their escape, the Weasleys had disappeared and the Burrow was empty.”

“So, they had some way to contact Ron’s family. I’ll let Neville know about Luna and that Ginny is safe. He’ll worry when she’s not on the train on Sunday.” Maerna was talking more to herself than Severus. She didn’t notice the intense look in his eyes until he grabbed her arm to get her attention. 

“Maerna, I’ve just received a message from the Dark Lord. He’s coming here, to Hogwarts.” Severus’s voice was low and strained.

“Why?” Maerna pulled herself out of her trance.

Again Severus shrugged his shoulders. “Presumably, he wants something. He’ll be here in about fifteen minutes. I want you to stay in my quarters. Don’t leave until I come back. Do you understand?” His eyes almost burned into Maerna as his long fingers grabbed her arm demanding compliance. She nodded and then threw herself into his arms, pulling him into a reckless kiss. He returned it for a few moments but then gently pulled away. “I’ll be back soon.”

Maerna stood on the small balcony that was part of the headmaster’s quarters. Located up in one of the four towers of Hogwarts, the balcony gave her a breathtaking view of the lake. Hogsmead’s lights twinkled in the distance reflecting off the calm body of water. The wind had picked up a bit and whipped around her causing her to shiver and pull her cloak closer. 

As she studied the landscape, she realized that two people had come out of the castle. With his tall frame and straight gait, one of them she recognized as Severus. The other seemed to almost float next to him in an unnatural manner: the Dark Lord. The windows behind her were dark and she was almost positive that she blended in with the stonework at this height but her heart rate still jumped. 

About halfway around the lake, Severus turned back. Horrified and intrigued, she continued to watch the Dark Lord. Where was he going? There wasn’t much on that side of the lake.  
He soon disappeared into the night and she was just about to go in, when a loud crack like thunder filled the sky and a great sense of foreboding overwhelmed her. She couldn’t see anything in the inky blackness but she thought some sparks caught her eye. After that there was silence but Maerna couldn’t stop the feeling that the Dark Lord had done something horrible, that he had somehow defiled a sacred part of Hogwarts. 

Maerna woke up with the birds the next morning. She rolled over. He wasn’t there and she was fairly sure he never came to bed. She found Severus on the same balcony she had stood just hours before. She wrapped her arms around his waist as she approached. He pulled her into a tight hug but continued to stare out across the lake.

“Severus, do you know where he went last night?” she asked.

Severus shook his head no, “but I heard a sound like thunder and. . . “ His voice trailed off.

“I know. I heard it too.” she said softly.

As if by mutual silent agreement, they traversed down the steps, across the entrance court and around the lake. The sky was crystal clean, not a cloud in sight. Little ripples seem to perpetuate across the lake’s surface. In the center, Maerna saw two tentacles of the giant squid push out of the water and then slap the surface before slipping back under. Severus had lengthen his stride in a hurry to reach wherever they were going and Maerna picked up her feet to keep pace. 

As the path neared where Dumbledore’s tomb lay, Severus slowed down. He reached over and grasped her hand. Even from the path, Maerna could tell something was wrong. As they approached the tomb, her heart dropped to her stomach. The marble top of the tomb had been cracked in half, each part had slid down and was now sitting cock-eyed on the ground. 

When they were close enough, Severus looked in. A flash of pain crossed his face and then he regained control. Maerna stepped up next to him. There lay Dumbledore looking extremely peaceful in eternal sleep. It didn’t look like the Dark Lord had even touched him so why had he broken open the tomb? They both stood their in silence. For Maerna it was a puzzle with a solution that seemed to elude her. Severus, however, immediately understood what happened and the thought of it made him pale even more.

They both stared at the tomb while relishing the quiet morning. Slowly Maerna became aware of sound, of a song, a sorrowful song that made her heart cry out just from listening to it. It became louder and louder until a large bird with beautiful crimson and gold plumage landed upon the edge of the tomb and peered in. 

“Fawkes,” Maerna breathed aloud. The bird looked up at them and then back at the broken tomb. He gave such a distressed cry that Maerna wanted to wrap him into a huge hug but was unsure how the bird would react. 

It was Severus who walked up to the bird and reached his hand out. Fawks jumped from the tomb to Severus’s arm and looked at the current headmaster in the eyes. “I know, Fawkes. I’m sorry. I’m sorry he did this to Albus, to your friend. I will find a way to get it back and restore the tomb.”

The phoenix continued to study Severus carefully. Then he bobbed his head once as if to say “Thank you.” 

Slowly the bird turned to Maerna. “Oh, Fawkes,” Tears slipped down Maerna’s cheeks. Fawkes gave a low caw sound and then began to cry too. As the bird began to cry, Maerna froze. The only thing moving was the tears on her cheeks. 

It was Severus who regained his senses and conjured up a vial. He help them up to the bird. “May I?” he asked. Fawkes moved closer to the vial leaning his head over the opening. When it was filled to the brim, he gave them one last look and took flight, over the Forbidden Forest and beyond. 

Severus place some enchantments on the tomb to keep the elements and animals out and turned back toward the castle. If possible he was even more pensive and morose on the way back.

____________________

Later that evening, Severus was in a deep discussion with Dumbledore’s portrait. The painting seemed unsurprised at the Voldemort’s vandalism. In fact, he seemed to rather be expecting it. 

“I am sorry, Severus that this responsibility has fallen to you.” Dumbledore’s painting appeared pained. 

“Are you really?” Severus asked snidely. “You were always the most manipulative man, determined to meet your goals. Does the end justify the means this time Dumbledore?”

Dumbledore’s eyes turned to ice shards that pierced the other headmaster. “Do not forget our ultimate goal, Severus. You promised years ago to stake your life on that goal. We aren’t finished yet.”

“You set me up, Dumbledore. You knew when you asked that great task of me that he would go after your wand!” Severus’s voice was filled with enmity.

“I suspected; however, since we arranged my death, the power of the wand should be broken,” Albus said.

“It doesn’t matter what was supposed to happen. What matters is how the Dark Lord perceives it. I’m the one who killed you. It won’t take him long to decide that I’m the owner of your wand,” Severus said as he ran his fingers nervously in his hair and paced the room. Suddenly he stopped. An even more alarming though came to him. “The prophecy has nothing to do with Maerna. It’s about me!”

The portrait froze. If a painting could lose color, Dumbledore’s paint went white. “What do you mean, Severus.”

“Owning the wand is the reason for death but venom will stop the heart” Severus quoted. “The prophecy states the wand not a wand. It’s referring to the Elder Wand, to your wand. He wants control over it and he will kill me to get it.”

Dumbledore’s portrait became very quiet. He studied the younger man. “Are you afraid, Severus?”

“Of death? No. I’m worried how my death would impact Maerna,” he said.

“She’s strong. She will survive.” Dumbledore declared.

“I know,” Severus dropped his head into his hands, “but that doesn’t mean my heart isn’t pained thinking about what it will do to her.” He lifted his head back up. “There is one thing, I can do. It’s rather small, but I can make sure she’s provided for.” He grabbed a sheet of paper and began to compose a letter to Gringotts. 

 

To Whom It May Concern,  
I wish to add someone to have complete access and control of the possessions in my vault. Please notify me of the proper procedures to complete this task. . . .


	47. The New Lupin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maerna smiled as she leaned over the baby. “He has your eyes,” she said.  
> Remus started to chuckled. “Oh no, he’s Dora through and through.” The tiny baby stared at Maerna in more concentration that his two weeks should allow. Suddenly, the hair became long, blonde curls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Two chapters posted at once. Don't skip any.

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her.

 

Breakfast, Monday morning, the mail arrived. A nondescript brown owl landed next to Maerna. Surprised, Maerna carefully untied the note and handed the owl a bit of toast. The note was short but welcomed:

 

Would like to introduce you to the newest member of the family. The Cottage. Noon.

 

Maerna smiled. Tonk had had her baby. In the midst of all this horror, the miracle of birth could always give one hope and joy. She finished her breakfast like the note was nothing of interest and left the Great Hall. 

At ten minutes to the top of the hour, Maerna flooed over to the cottage. She spent a few minutes cleaning the dust that had gathered She hadn’t been here since the trio had needed help. Dobby would never have let the place get to this condition. She was worried about the little elf. No one had seen or heard from him in three weeks. The elves in the kitchen seemed just as concerned as she was. Maerna was hoping for the best but fearing the worst.

A whooshing sounds followed by a green flash sent Maerna to the fireplace with her wand out, but there was no danger. It was Remus, gently cradling a bundle of blankets with a look of absolute joy on his face. He carefully stepped into the living room as if the parcel might break. He transferred his bundle of joy to one hand and held out the other to Maerna to engulf her in warm hug.

“I’ve missed you?” Maerna murmured in his shoulder. She turned to the bundle of blankets. Soft brown hair covered the tiny forehead followed by a big brown eyes and a rosebud mouth. 

“Maerna, meet Edward Remus Lupin. We call him Teddy.” The proud papa introduced.

Maerna smiled as she leaned over the baby. “He has your eyes,” she said.

Remus started to chuckled. “Oh no, he’s Dora through and through.” The tiny baby stared at Maerna in more concentration that his two weeks should allow. Suddenly, the hair became long, blonde curls. 

Maerna gasped. “Wow! That’s amazing.” She couldn’t stop staring at the tiny creature. Carefully, she lightly rubbed his cheek with her finger. “It’s hard to believe. All the turmoil and pain surrounded us yet this little bit of perfection has come.” Teddy gave a wide yawn, closed his eyes and succumbed to dreams. 

“May I hold him?” Maerna asked. Carefully, Remus transferred his son over and she settled on the sofa. “I would have come to you, Remus. You didn’t have to bring him here.” 

Remus shook his head no. “We’re under Fidelius charm now. Precautionary but after Harry, Hermione and Ron were taken to Malfoy Manor, it seemed a wise decision. Which reminds me.” He waved his wand and a silver message burst forth and cantered out the window. “Just letting Dora know we’re safe.”

Maerna nodded, “So they all got away safely. The report I heard from the Manor suggested that but it’s still nice to hear. I heard they took Luna and Ollivander with them. I was getting so worried about him. He was very frail the last time I snuck in to see him. If I could have figured out a way to get them out before. . .”

Remus put his hand on her shoulder. “They are all safe now. That’s what’s important.” 

Maerna nodded and gave him a tight smile. “Why don’t you take Teddy back. I’m sure Dora wasn’t thrilled with you taking him outside the Fidelius Charm and then come back for some lunch.” She kissed the sleeping boy once on the forehead and handed him back.

Within ten minutes, Remus was back and Maerna handed him a knife to cut the vegetables. She paused, “Remus, I just realized, the full moon was last week. Teddy?”

A huge grin spread over his face. “Nothing. He’s safe.” Maerna relaxed instantly. “How’s Dora doing with the Wolfsbane?”

“Awesome, but she had a great potions instructor to teach her,” Remus praised.

“Do you mean Severus?” Maerna joked and Remus threw a carrot at her.

“How is he? No, I don’t care about that. How are you with him?” Remus wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer to that question either but asked anyways.

“He’s doing okay. Stressed out. Being headmaster anytime is tough. Doing it this year, it’s been a roller coaster.” Remus opened his mouth to retort but fell silent when he saw her face. That man may be scum of the Earth but she still loved him. He couldn’t understand it. 

“So, the trio are okay?” Maerna changed the subject. 

Remus nodded, “They are under Fidelius Charm in a different location.”

“Good,” Maerna said. They continued to keep the conversation light through lunch and into the afternoon. It wasn’t until almost sunset when they finally parted with a hug and separated to their own worlds. 

____________________________________________________

Maerna returned to the headmaster’s office to find the Carrows there having a heated discussion with Severus. “Not good,” Maerna thought “Severus lets them in here as little as possible.”

“Augusta Longbottom is a bitch,” Alecto growled.

“I’m not interested in the old woman’s pedigree,” Severus sneered. “What does she have to do with my school?”

“Nothing but she’s Longbottom’s grandmother and he’s been causing a lot of trouble.” Amycus said. “I know he painted those slogans on the walls and yesterday, I couldn’t get into my classroom. The blood traitor had set up some sort of barrier that I couldn’t get by.”

“That fact you allowed any student, particularly Longbottom, to best you in magic is your problem, not mine. I walked into your classroom quite easily,” Severus pointed out.

“Snape, that kid is trouble. He’s the instigator of all the rebellion we’ve had around here and you know it,” Alecto snapped.

Severus eyed her coolly, His face was blank and unyielding. “Go after the grandmother then. If we can use Lovegood’s daughter to keep him in line, we certainly can use Longbottom’s grandmother to remind him who is in charge.” The siblings scowled at him and a sinsters smile spread across Severus’s face. “Oh that’s right, you tried that, didn’t you. How many Death Eaters does it take to subdue an old lady? Evidently more than you took with you to her house.”

The scowl on Amycus’s face deepened. “I’m tired of playing these games. We go after him. Tonight. I mean really after him, no more detentions. We’re talking permanent damage.”

Maerna quietly edged toward the door. Severus glanced up but his eyes said it all. “You only have a few minutes. Go.” She quietly closed the door and fled down the spiral steps. Quickly she changed her eye and hair color and then hit the hallway running.  
Within minutes she was at the Fat Lady’s painting, out of breath. “Please let me in. I have to talk to Neville.”

“Password,” the pompous painting said.

“I don’t have the password,” Maerna said “but I need to find Neville Longbottom. It’s a matter of life and death.” The door’s guardian, however, just looked down her painted nose at Maerna and refused to budge. Just then the door opened as Lavender Brown crawled through the opening. “Thank goodness,” muttered Maerna as she tried to push past Lavender.

“Hey, you aren’t allowed in there,” Lavender exclaimed. Maerna rolled her eyes. “Confundo,” she said leaving a dazed Gryffindor and then slipped into the common room. 

“Where’s Neville?” she yelled to the general common room but nobody answered. “It’s really important. Where is he?” she demanded. 

“He’s not here,” Seamus came down from a stairwell that Maerna assumed led to the dormitories. “I haven’t seen him since charms class this morning. Who are you?”

Swearing, she turned to leave and then thought better of it. “Look Seamus. The Carrows are after him. I mean really after him. They might actually kill him this time. He needs to get out.”

Seamus’s eyes widened. “I’ll check the library and the classrooms near there. Sometimes he studies there” and bolted for the door. 

Maerna followed him out the door but paused in the hallway. The castle was huge. Finding someone was like trying to find a needle in a haystack. What she needed was a GPS system, a magical GPS system to find Neville. Suddenly an idea popped in her mind. Cautiously, she approached the Fat Lady again.

“What do you want now?” the Fat Lady asked. “You already got in without the password. I’m not letting you in again.”

“No, I don’t want to go back into the Gryffindor dormitory. I need to find someone. A seventh year Gryffindor, dark hair, face looks like it’s been through a meat grinder lately. His name is Neville Longbottom,” Maerna explained gently and respectfully.

The painting sniffed, “I know Longbottom. Cause quite a bit of trouble for my substitute his third year when I was off being restored. What about him?”

“I’m sure that’s a very interesting story for another time. The Carrows, those two teachers, are out to hurt him. I mean really hurt him. They are looking for him right now. I know you don’t know where he is but some painting does, somewhere. Can you spread the news to the other paintings? Find out where he is for me, please?” Maerna begged.”This really is life or death.”

The Fat Lady studied her for a moment and then said. “Stay here. Don’t let anyone in without the password.” Then she walked sideways out of her painting.

“I don’t even know the password which you so haughtily reminded me just a few moments ago,” Maerna mumbled to herself but she stood quietly at the end of the hall. 

Within a few minutes the Fat Lady returned and squeezed herself into a comfortable position in the portrait.. “He was seen climbing the stairs of the Astronomy Tower about fifteen minutes ago,” the lady announced in her most booming voice.

“Thank you, thank you so much,” Maerna called as she raced down the stairs. She had just reached the bottom, when voices echoed down the stone hallways. Maerna ducked behind the nearest suit of armor which turned its head to look at her but then resumed its original position.

“I hate having to climb up all those bloody steps. Why can’t their dormitory be in a reasonable place like the Slytherin one,” Alecto grumbled as they passed by her hiding place. As soon as they were around the corner, Maerna took off running again. 

She stopped at the last painting before the Astronomy Tower steps. It was a picture of a captain of an old schooner. He was riding the rough seas with a spyglass grasped in his hand. “Has Neville Longbottom come down these steps.” she asked the old seadog.

“Aaahh. You are the one who was looking for him. If I hadn’t known it was a bonny lass like yourself I wouldn’t have told him you were coming. Would have kept you for myself,” the old sailor waggled his eyebrows suggestively at Maerna.

She gave her her best death stare and icy, cold voice. “I need to talk to Neville. NOW!”

The sailor turned grumpy. “Alright, alright. I went up to a painting of a comet there several minutes ago. Told him you were looking for him. He should be  
down any moment.” 

Sure enough, she could hear footsteps coming down the stairs and there was Neville with his bag on his shoulder. He stopped for a moment and stared at her. “Are you the one who needed to see me so urgently?” It was obvious from his expression, he wasn’t sure who she was.

“Neville, it’s Maerna,” she explained quickly. Understanding flashed across this face and then concern. She quickly outlined what she had heard. “There is no time to explain, but we need to get you out of here as quickly as possible The problem is I have no idea where.”

Neville froze for a moment in thought and then nodded. “I know a place. Come one.” He grabbed Maerna’s hand and pulled her back toward the Gryffindor tower. 

They raced down a hallway and around a corner. Suddenly a painting of a pirate yelled to get their attention. “The Carrows just left the Gryffindor Tower and are heading this way.” 

“Thank you,” Maerna whispered and tugged at Neville’s arm, pulling him into the girls’ bathroom.

Thirty seconds later, the Carrows walked by. “Draco said he saw him walking up the Astronomy Tower a while ago. If we don’t find him there, we’ll get some Snakes and do a floor by floor search.”

Carefully, Neville and Maerna crept out and Neville took two more turns before he stopped at an odd tapestry of a man trying to teacher ballet to trolls. Neville walked back and forth three times. Suddenly a door appeared. Maerna gasped in surprise, but Neville opened the door and ushered her in.

The room looked like the hull of a wooden ship. Wooden planks covered the walls and a huge red and gold banner with a roaring lion hung on one wall. Tucked in the corner was a bright colored hammock and a comfortable looking chair. “What is this place?” Maerna asked gazing around in wonder.

Neville grinned, his bruised face lighting up. “Welcome, Maerna, to one of the most amazing places in the magical world-The Room of Requirement.”


	48. Auf Wiedersehen, Hogwarts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, she nodded. “Okay.” Here she was on the edge of battle and she promised the two people who meant most to her in the world that she wouldn’t be part of it. Remus pulled her into a hug and said “Thank you.” He then explained about the tunnel between the Room of Requirement and the Hogshead Bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 
> 
> The biggest dilemma I had was how canon should I keep my story. If you have noticed, I've tried to adhere to the original. (If you see a place where you don't think I am, let me know.) However, JKR had the audacity to kill off my two favorite characters, so do I let them survive or not? Guess you’ll just have to keep reading to find o

May 1st, May Day, a day to celebrate springtime. At Hogwarts, however, it looked like another day to mark its slow death. All year the school had been decaying, not its stones which stood as strong as the days of its four founders but its spirit. The students were being dragged down in despair. Despair from the news on the outside and despair from the Carrows on the inside.Only Dumbledore’s Army had been keeping up people’s spirits, keeping the hope alive but with their leaders gone or in hiding, they had been quiet lately. Maerna sat next to the Headmaster on the dais nibbling at her dinner without much appetite. Very aware of all the evil around her, she sneaked a glance at Severus. She was worried about him too. He seemed, like the castle to lose a little bit of life each day. 

Suddenly Terry Boots jumped up and yelled. “Way to go Harry Potter. He escaped from Gringotts today on the back of a dragon!” Three of the four tables erupted into cheers which no amount of the Carrow’s silencing charms could stop. 

Eventually Severus waved his own wand and the entire hall was forced into mute. “You’ve interrupted our dinner, Mr. Boots with your outlandish lies. I have tried to demonstrate to you again and again that insolence and insubordination will not be tolerated here,” he sneered. By now the Carrows had grabbed him under the arms and were dragging him out of the Great Hall, hitting him as they went. Severus surveyed the rest of the student body with a deadpan look and then sat back down to resume his dinner.

Maerna glanced at the student tables while they ate their dinner. Several of the older students had disappeared one by one over the last week and a half. It seemed every time, the Carrows designated someone for special treatment that student vanished without a clue. Maerna snickered at the thought. The Room of Requirement was growing bigger and bigger as the need arose and the Carrows were growing more and more frustrated. 

Quietly she finished her dinner, as not to attract attention, and then followed the screams to the dungeons. Terry was there strung up in chains on the wall. After quickly changing into one of her numerous disguises, Maerna stunned the sibling Death Eaters. The Carrows stood like statues, wands uplifted in mid curse. Maerna glanced at the two and shook her head in disgust. Quietly she undid Terry’s chains and lowered him to the ground. She gave him a glass of water and then whispered in his ear. “Terry, most of Dumbledore’s Army is hiding in the Room of Requirement. I think you better stay there too. Do you know how to get there?” Terry nodded through two swollen eyes.

Maerna never heard the footsteps but whirled around to a tap on her shoulder. There was Severus. His demeanor calm but his words soon created anxiety in Maerna’s heart. He waved his wand at Terry who seemed to lose focus for a few moments while they talked.

“Can you get him to the others? I assume they are hiding in the Room of Requirement.” Severus asked. 

Maerna nodded. “The Dark Lord has sent us a message. He thinks Potter might come here?”

“Here? Why?” Maerna asked. 

“I don’t know but he seems to think that Potter might go the Ravenclaw Tower. I need to to talk to Potter. It’s extremely important. Can you get in touch with him?” Severus asked.

“I can try. Hermione and I both have a communication coin if she checks it.” Maerna said.

Severus nodded. “Get Boots to safety, send a message with the coin and then go down to your lab. It’s happening. Tonight, I don’t know exactly what but it’s all coming to a point. Clean out the lab. Leave no evidence of your projects. Then meet me in my office. I have my own work that must be done”   
Severus reached over and pulled her into a quick kiss as Terry sat next to them looking like he had been clubbed over the head. She hauled the seventh year up and dragged him out the door as Severus moved to wake up the two Death Eaters and assign them tasks.

Somehow Maerna managed to get Terry up to the tapestry of the troll ballerina. She walked back and forth three times thinking about the hideout. When the door appeared, she knocked hesitantly. Cho Chang answered the door and helped Terry in. “Is Neville here?” Not recognizing Maerna, Cho opened her mouth to retort but a deep yet youthful voice interrupted her. “It’s okay Cho. I trust her.” Cho nodded and allowed Maerna entry.

Maerna slipped over to the corner where Neville stood. “Harry may be coming to Hogwarts,” she whispered. 

“What? Why?” Neville stuttered. He looked around the room where hope was spreading like wildfire at he news that The Chosen One would once again be at Hogwarts.

The members of Dumbledore’s army stood up, wands at ready. They looked alert and were obviously prepared for whatever came next.

“I don’t know and neither does the headmaster. The Dark Lord just told Severus to be prepared that Potter might come back to Hogwarts so the Carrows are looking out for him,” Maerna explained.

“And we’ll be looking too. We’ll get to him first,” Neville promised. Around the room Maerna saw heads nodding with determination.

Maerna took a deep breath. “Let’s hope so. I know that no matter what happens we can count on all of you to give your best in the fight ahead. Good luck to you all and God bless.” She gave him a quick hug, slipped out of the room and down to the dungeon. She had a potions lab to dismantle. 

_______________________________________

It was the calm before the storm. One knew the winds of change were coming. An electric charge of expectation filled the air It wasn’t a matter of if but when. Maerna and Severus sat in the Headmaster’s office, saying nothing just sitting together in the headmaster’s chair. Even the portraits allowed the silence to loom over the room. Severus absentmindedly fingered her necklace. It was a vial of the antidote. The one she had made with Phoenix tears against Nagini’s venom. Maerna suspected that this might the night she was bitten. Severus knew differently but never said a word. He simply tucked the vial back under her robes. 

“Did you finish with the lab? Do you have everything you need? Do you have the cloak” he asked.

Maerna nodded. Severus had given her a rather unexpected and expensive present about a month ago-an invisibility cloak. Exceedingly rare, Maerna had only seen one in her lifetime. Harry had shown her his while they had stayed at the cottage. This one was made of that same silvery material albeit it was a bit smaller than Harry’s. Maerna wanted to question Severus about where he got it but he had simply said, “Keep it on you. It might keep you safe some day.”

Neither one of them knew what was to happen, but Maerna’s goal was to stay as close to Severus as allowed. God had been telling her to stick with him for the last two years and she wasn’t stopping tonight. 

“I haven’t heard from Hermione,” Maerna said. “I keep checking the coin, but no response.”

“I suspect they are too busy wrestling with that dragon they stole from Gringotts,” he joked.

“Do you know what happened?” Maerna asked.

Severus shrugged. “They went in there to get something, something that would help them defeat the Dark Lord.”

“Do you know what is it?” Maerna asked.

Severus hesitated. “I have a theory. Let’s leave it at that.”

“And they might come here?: Maerna continued.

“Along the same reason,” Severus didn’t elaborate further just stared into nothingness.

Suddenly he winced and grabbed his left arm. He jumped up sending Maerna tumbling to the ground. “Alecto just summoned him. She must have seen Potter.“ He grabbed Maerna by the shoulders. “Promise me that no matter what happens to me, you will keep yourself safe-no unnecessary risks and stay away from the Dark Lord,” he demanded.

“Severus, what do you know that you haven’t told me,” she questioned him but he refused to answer. 

“Just promise me, Maerna. I have a job to do. A responsibility. I made an oath long before I met you, but if something should happen to me--just promise me,” His stare was so intense, Maerna felt like he was looking down to her very soul. 

“I promise,” Maerna whispered. He swept her up into a kiss that was all too brief and then was gone.

Maerna turned toward the portraits. “Albus, what is going on?” Her voice was confused and wary. 

Albus shook his head sadly. “Severus just wants you to stay safe. He loves you so much. I’m very glad you came into his life. You have been good for him.“

“What is it I need to know that nobody is telling me?” Maerna demanded getting practically nose to nose with the portrait. 

“Severus has a different interpretation of your prophecy. Stay as close to him as you can. Okay?” Albus implored her. 

Maerna studied the portrait for a moment and then nodded. “Then I believe this is goodbye, Albus.”

The portraits smiled, his eyes twinkling a big. “Let’s not say goodbye. How about like the Germans- aufwiedersehen-until we meet again.”

Maerna nodded, “Aufwiedersehen Professor Dumbledore. Viel Glueck!” She grabbed her rucksack and her wand and didn’t look back.

___________________________________________________

Maerna practically ran down the length of the castle toward the Ravenclaw Tower. Why did Potter go there? He wondered. What was the job Albus left him? How much did Severus know or think he knew? As she approached the base of the tower, she heard a commotion ahead of her. Carefully, she pulled the invisibility cloak out of her rucksack and threw it over her head. She rounded the corner to see Severus dueling with three other teachers. Severus was an excellent duelist. There was no doubt about that as she watched him jab and perry with his wand, but he was going three to one and the odds were starting to wear on him. He sent a suit of armor crashing into a wall and ran toward an empty classroom. Then Maerna heard a crash of glass breaking. 

“Coward!” she heard Professor McGonagall bellow. The group continued to discuss it as Maerna drew closer under her invisible shield.

“You mean he’s dead?” she heard Harry ask just as he appeared out of thin air. Maerna’s heart dropped to her stomach at the thought.

“No, he’s not dead. Unlike Dumbledore, he was still carrying a wand . . . and he seemed to have learned a few tricks from his master.” said McGonagall bitterly. The group watched the window for a moment looking at something that Maerna could not see from her position. Then they turned to make plans. Maerna followed them, listening carefully to the heated conversations. 

Twenty minutes later the Great Hall was alive with the low hum of student voices as they congregated at their tables. McGonagall was directing the evacuation. Maerna said nothing just observed from the side wall.   
Suddenly a voice echoed through the cavernous room like its owner was sitting in every corner and at every table simultaneously. There was no doubt who the voice belonged to. “I know you are preparing to fight. Your efforts are futile. You cannot fight me and I don’t want to kill you. I have great respect for the teachers of Hogwarts. I do not want to spill magical blood. Give me Harry Potter and none shall be harmed. Give me Harry Potter and I shall leave the school untouched. Give me Harry Potter and you will be rewarded.  
His message echoed through the Great Hall until it left only a deadly silence which was broken by one shrill voice. “But he’s there! Potter’s there! Someone grab him!” a girl screeched. Maerna rolled her eyes. A Slytherin: Pansy Parkinson. Why was she not surprised but she gave the students their due. Every Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Gryffindor stood in protest and blocked the way between the Slytherins and the Chosen One.

“Thank you, Miss Parkinson. You will be the first to leave the Great Hall with Mr. Filch,” Professor McGonagall said pointedly. The entire Slytherin table left as well as the younger ones of the other tables began to leave.   
As the room emptied, Maerna saw someone across the room-Remus. What was he doing here? Maerna removed the cloak and started across the room when a voice startled her. “What are YOU doing here, Ms. Danazul? Spying on us?” The deputy headmistresses voice was laced with disgust.

Maerna paused and opened her mouth to defend herself when a man’s voice interrupted her. “Leave her alone, please, Professor. I will vouch for her. She has done nothing wrong and will cause no harm.” Neville declared with conviction to the entire room. Remus also saw her at the moment and crossed the way to give her a giant hug. Professor McGonagall was shocked at the loyalty displayed by the two men. She glanced between Remus and Longbottom before nodding tersely and turning to other matters. 

Remus immediately grabbed her shoulders, “Maerna, you can’t be here.”

“Why not?” she said sticking out her stubborn chin. “I can fight too.”

But Remus disagreed. “You’ve had a wand for less than a year. You haven’t learned enough.”

Maerna wasn’t to be deterred. “Severus said that I’ve learned faster than anyone he’s ever seen.”

Remus shook his head, “I don’t doubt that but it still isn’t enough. Please, Maerna, do this for me,” Remus looked at her, his warm, brown eyes pleading. A line from the prophecy popped into her mind Owning the wand is the reason for death. If she didn’t have a wand, she certainly wouldn’t have attempted to fight. If, by owning a wand, does she walk into her own death? But she wasn’t supposed to die by wand but rather by   
venom. All this flew through Maerna’s head as Remus shook her gently. 

Finally, she nodded. “Okay.” Here she was on the edge of battle and she promised the two people who meant most to her in the world that she wouldn’t be part of it. 

Remus pulled her into a hug and said “Thank you.” He then explained about the tunnel between the Room of Requirement and the Hogshead Bar. “Take it back and then apparate out of Hogsmeade,” he instructed her. 

Maerna smiled. She wasn’t making another promise. “Stay safe, please, Remus. You have a wonderful little boy to go home to.” She gave him one last hug and disappeared into the crowd.

____________________________________

The younger students had already passed through the Room of Requirement when Maerna arrived. Now there was a steady stream of people coming into Hogwarts, ready to fight. Speaking to no one, Maerna said goodbye to Hogwarts and ducked her head into the tunnel’s opening, wondering if she’d ever seen the building again. 

The tunnel was long. It look almost twenty minutes of walking before the ground began to slant upward again. During that time, the battle must have started. Even deep underground, Maerna could hear the horrifying sounds of battling above her. Several times she wondered if the tunnel would collapse as the ground shook and streaming dirt fell from above. Finally she found herself facing a blank wall. She pushed on it and toppled into the Hog Head bar. There staring down at her was a frazzled looking Tonks.

“Dora!” Maerna exclaimed scrambling up “It’s me, Meg Darcy.”

“Oh my goodness. I never would have recognized you, Have you seen Remus?” Tonks asked hurriedly. 

“Yes, in the Great Hall planning strategy about thirty minutes ago, but Dora, you’re supposed to be home with Teddy. Remus will be furious. If he doesn’t want me fighting, he definitely doesn’t want you here.”  
But Tonks wasn’t listening to her. “I can’t not know-- when he’s in danger.” Maerna looked at the metamorph and realized it was probably the same look on her face when thinking about what danger Severus was in. They might be going in opposite directions but they were both looking for the men they loved. 

“Take care, Tonks, “ Maerna said giving her a big hug. She nodded to Mrs. Longbottom who had just apparated into the bar and headed out onto the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Portions of this chapter come directly or indirectly from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling, Chapter 30, pages 597-599 (American Edition.)


	49. But Venom Will Stop the Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus sighed. Then he turned serious. “I need to see Potter. I have to get a message to him. He has to know this before he faces the Dark Lord.”
> 
> “What message?” Maerna asked but just then Lucius came running up. “Severus, the Dark Lord wants to see you now. He’s in the Shrieking Shack”

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

Hogsmeade was eerily empty. Not a soul was on the streets. All the streetlights had been extinguished making the wizarding village look like something from the Twilight Zone. Maerna turned onto the main thoroughfare and walked toward Hogsmeade Station. Zonkos, Honeydukes, the Post Office were all sporting blacken windows as if they had been abandoned and were awaiting better times. Ahead on the left, the Three Broomsticks has a single light on but it was the view ahead that caught her eye. As Maerna crossed the tracks and approached the lake, the sky changed to a multi-colored laser show. Spells were cast and connected. Trails of light crisscrossed the sky and booms of warfare reverberated across the late. If Maerna hadn’t known better, she could have mistaken it for an Independence Day celebration from home but she knew these weren’t the sights and sounds of celebrations but rather of heroism and defeat. 

The fighting had advanced into the Hogwarts Gates although it looked like the castle was still defended. Maerna just stood on there on the edge of the lake mesmerized and yet horrified by the scene unfolding in front of her. Voldemort had brought every dark creature imaginable with him. She could easily see the giants and their destruction. Even from here the dementors left a chill in the air that made her shiver. 

“Maerna, how did you get here? Were you in the castle? Did you see Draco?” Maerna turned around to see Narcissa Malfoy almost scurrying up to her. For the first time ever, the woman looked like she was about to fall apart. Her eyes were bloodshot and her hair was unkempt. She had smudges on her face and a huge rip in her robe.

“Narcissa,” Maerna exclaimed. “Yes, I just came from the castle but the entrance was sealed soon after I passed through. I believe I was the last one out. Draco isn’t here? The Slytherin were the first one evacuated.”

Narcissa shook her head no. “He didn’t come back with the others. The Dark Lord has suggested that Draco defected to the other side, but he would never. . .” Narcissa couldn’t seem to finish her sentence.  
Maerna raised her eyebrow at the other woman. “Narcissa, there may come a time, very soon when you must make a choice. Which is more important to you? The Dark Lord’s desires or your son. If you decide the latter, what are you willing to do? What are you willing to possible sacrifice to protect him?

The older woman gave a cry of anguish and dropped to the ground in a cloud of dust. Maerna crouched down next to her. “Aren’t you supposed to be fighting, Narcissa?”

She shook her head. “I don’t have a wand. Draco lost his when that Potter boy escaped. He’s been using mine.” She looked up at Maerna. “What about you? Why aren’t you fighting?”

Maerna smiled. “Do you remember what happened when the Dark Lord tried to demand my allegiance? Do you remember what I said to him?”

“I remember he forced Snape to almost kill you,” Narcissa pointed out.

“True,” Maerna admitted, “but I still stand by my words. I don’t fight for what I don’t believe in.”

“Then why are you here and not in the castle?” Narcissa was perplexed.

“Because I needed to be closer to Severus. I don’t know exactly why but God wants me here so here I am,” Maerna said to the woman. She expected Narcissa to scoff at her explanation but she actually looked pensive.

“Do you know where Severus is?” Maerna asked.

“No,” Narcissa said, “but the Dark Lord is over there with my husband.” She pointed down a wandering path that ran across the railroad tracks. There was only one building down that road--the Shrieking Shack. Maerna nodded her head to show she heard but didn’t venture down the path. She had promised Severus that she would stay away from the Dark Lord and that’s was she intended to do.

Instead she continued to stare off at the battle. The defenses were crumbling. The Dark Lord’s forces had penetrated the walls of the castle. One of the towers had toppled and even from here, Maerna could see huge holes in the walls. 

Slowly she started walking toward the fighting. Along the path, bodies were scattered about, trees destroyed, lives ruined. She kept a shield charm in front of her just in case but no one was paying her attention. Injured from Voldemort’s side were limping back, exhausted, bleeding, no longer interested in the glory of battle. She passed by the fence of Hogwarts that marked the edge of the property. Here the intensity was picking up, but she still felt secure, still away from the battle. 

Closer she walked until up ahead was a man, tall, in Death Eater robes and mask. From everyone else’s perspective, he appeared to be fighting but as she watched carefully from behind a tree, she realized he was actually targeting his own people, every so subtly so no one in the throes of fighting would notice. Maerna smiled, despite the situation she found herself in. She reached out with her magic and surrounded the mysterious Death Eater. Yes, it was definitely Severus. He must have felt her presence because he turned around and stared right at her hiding spot. Suddenly a spell came from her left. She saw it out of the corner of her eye a fraction of a second before it hit and she crumbled.

She came to only a few minutes later, but found herself being carried away from the battle in the arms of the Death Eater. He didn’t say a word until he had her safely away. Then he undid his mask. She expected to see eyes of anger behind it but instead saw exasperation. “Why am I not surprised that you didn’t listen to me even when you promised me. Do you remember your promise-no unnecessary risks?”

“I’m sorry, Severus,” Maerna said meekly. “I was looking for you.”

He looked like he justed wanted to rage at her, but he gave up and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. 

“Let’s see how injured you are.” He examined her briefly and conjured up a potion. “Here drink this.” Within seconds she could feel her energy returning. 

He leaned back against the tree. “How did you get out of the castle?” So, she told him all about the   
passageway from the Room of Requirement to the Hog’s Head bar. “Is there any chance to get back in that way?” Severus looked hopeful. 

Maerna shook her head. “It was sealed to keep Death Eaters from finding it and McGonagall has the floo guarded.”

“Of course,” Severus sighed. Then he turned serious. “I need to see Potter. I have to get a message to him. He has to know this before he faces the Dark Lord.”

“What message?” Maerna asked but just then Lucius came running up. “Severus, the Dark Lord wants to see you now. He’s in the Shrieking Shack”

Severus swore as he stood up. He glanced at Maerna and held out his hand. ”Walk with me.” He didn’t say anything until the shack came into view. “Now, I need to go talk to him. I want you to promise me. Honestly promise me that you’ll stay out of trouble while I’m in there. I’m tempted to make you take an Unbreakable Vow.”

Maerna reached on her tippy toes and kissed him. “I love you and I will only go where I’m really needed. I will promise you that.” 

Severus looked like he wanted to argue but didn’t want to be late and face the Dark Lord’s ire. He gave her face one soft caress and then turned away. Silently Maerna pulled out her invisibility cloak and raced after him. Severus paused as he reached the door giving her a chance to catch up. As he opened the door, Maerna slipped in right behind him bumping into him as she did. Severus immediately realized what she had done but he couldn’t stop her without raising the Dark Lord’s suspicions. She was already half way through the door now and he was forced to let her slip in and closed the door behind her. 

Even under the cloak, Severus could sense her. She took a spot in the corner where she was unlikely to be detected. Above the Dark Lord’s head, was Nagini coiling and uncoiling in some sort of magical starry sphere. Severus glanced at the cage. Although his face didn’t give it away, Maerna could tell that the cage made him more concerned. It seemed to be almost a clue to Severus. 

They talked of defenses. Severus asked to bring the boy to Voldemort but the Dark Lord ignored his pleas. “I have a problem, Severus,” said Voldemort softly. 

“My Lord?” said Snape.

He raised up his wand for Severus to see. “Why doesn’t it work for me, Severus?” Maerna stifled a gasp. She knew that wand. How many hours had she stood in front of it learning occlumency? It was Albus 

Dumbledore’s wand. Maerna glanced at Severus. He didn’t how even a glimmer of surprise. He already knew, Maerna realized. He probably knew from the moment he looked into Dumbledore’s casket that the Dark Lord had taken his wand.

“Why doesn’t it work for me, Severus?” the Dark Lord continued.

“My-my Lord?” said Snape blankly. “I do not understand. You--you have performed extraordinary magic with that wand.”

“No,” said Voldemort. “I have performed my usual magic. I am extraordinary, but this wand . . no.. It has not revealed the wonders it has promised. I feel no difference between this wand and the one I procured from Ollivander all those years ago.”

The Dark Lord’s voice was calm, almost nonchalant but Maerna could sense the danger. It was growing. The Dark Lord was getting angrier and this fury was fueling the dark magic that swept through the room.

Voldemort started pacing the room, coming dangerously close to Maerna as he did. “I have thought long and hard, Severus. . . Do you know why I have called you back from the battle?”

Severus kept looking up at the snake. It was then that everything clicked for Maerna.

On this day on which children are named  
Claimed by one who changes lives forever  
Owning the wand is the reason for death  
But venom will stop the heart  
She must make the antidote  
But only accepting pure love will allow a choice  
To pass the veil or not

Severus had killed Dumbledore, so Dumbledore’s wand now belonged to Severus. It didn’t matter that Voldemort was the one holding it. That Voldemort was the one that robbed it from the grave. The wand chooses the wizard. The prophecy wasn’t about her at all. It was about Severus and Severus knew it. What was it that Dumbledore’s portrait told her just before she left. “Severus has a different interpretation of your prophecy. Stay as close to him as you can.”

Voldemort desperately wanted this wand. He seemed to think it would help him defeat Harry Potter, but the wand had already chosen Severus. The only way for Voldemort to take true possession of the wand now was to. . . . . Horror paralyzed Maerna as she heard Voldemort’s final words “It cannot be any other way. I must master the wand, Severus. Master the wand and I master Potter.” Voldemort swiped the wand in the air and the snake’s cage came rolling forward at tremouns speed. Before Severus could even look up, the entire cage surrounded Severus head and Voldemort hissed a word. There was a terrible scream. For a second Maerna thought it came from herself but realized that it was Severus. He was losing color, his knees gave way and he fell to the floor.

“I regret it,” Voldemort said coldly. He waved his wand and the cage pulled off of Severus. Voldemort swept out of the room with Nagini close behind him. 

Maerna was about to throw off her cloak when another person appeared out of thin air. Harry Potter had also been hiding behind a cloak on the other side of the room. For some reason, Maerna couldn’t explain to herself, she didn’t take off her own cloak. As Harry approached him, Severus let out a raspy gurgle “Take. . . it. . . .Take. . . it. . . . “ Blood was pouring out of the wound but so was a silvery vapor--memories. The message, Maerna realized. Whatever Severus desperately needed to tell Harry Potter before he faced the Dark Lord, he was telling him now through his memories. Harry looked as thunderstruck as Maerna felt. It was Hermione that managed to conjure up a flask and deposit the memories into it.

Severus grabbed the edge of Harry’s robes and said one last thing to him but it was so faint that Maerna couldn’t hear. Then his hand thudded to the ground and he didn’t move again.

Both Maerna and Harry stood in shock for a few seconds and then a voice echoed through the room. The Dark Lord’s voice. Maerna didn’t hear what he said. She was too focused on reaching into her rucksack and pulling out blood replenishing potion, bandages and preparing the antidote. She was making so much noise under her own cloak that she was surprised Harry didn’t hear her but he seemed in a daze himself. He gathered up his invisibility cloak and vanished into a hole behind some crates.

Harry hadn’t even completely disappeared when Maerna shed her own cloak and threw herself down next to Severus. She poured the Phoenix Tears antidote down his throat, followed by a blood replenishing potion. Then she completed a spell to heal the gash leaving a small opening for the venom to leak out of him. Pushed beyond her emotional and physical boundaries, she gathered Severus up in her arms and began to pray.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Portions of this chapter come directly or indirectly from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling, Chapter 32, pages 652-658 (American Edition.)


	50. The Peace of Raphael

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus had felt pain pain, unbelievable pain, at his neck, but that was gone.  
>  He had felt cold, ice cold that permeates down to his bones, but that was gone.  
>  He had felt fear, fear that reverberated through his soul, but that was gone too.  
>  In fact, he felt nothing.  
>  It was, he mused, like an out of body experience.  
>  Perhaps it really was an out of body experience. That would make sense if he was dead.

Disclaimer: This work is based on the J.K. Rowling's World of Harry Potter. Everything you recognize belongs to her. 

Severus had felt pain pain, unbelievable pain, at his neck, but that was gone.

He had felt cold, ice cold that permeates down to his bones, but that was gone.

He had felt fear, fear that reverberated through his soul, but that was gone too.

In fact, he felt nothing.

It was, he mused, like an out of body experience.

Perhaps it really was an out of body experience. That would make sense if he was dead.

He tried to look around. Everything he had read about people who were close to death experienced either a bright light or felt like they were floating above themselves. He was experiencing neither. In fact, he couldn't experience anything. He just existed.

Suddenly he blinked. Everything was no longer black, but rather it was white. He started to walk if one could call it walking. He had walked a short distance when he became aware. He was not alone. Slowly he turned to his right. There stood a man of sorts. The man was, well, beautiful. Tradition dictates that men are not considered beautiful but this one was. His entire countenance seemed to glow as did his white robes. He had a smile on his face. It was a knowing smile. Severus knew this man had the answers, so he approached him.

The two studied each other for a moment in silence. “Am I dead?” Severus asked the man. 

The man raised a quizzical eyebrow. “Do you want to be?”

Severus pulled back a bit in shock. “Do I have a choice?”

Again the man grinned. His smile seemed to radiate a feeling of peace. “Normally, no but you, Severus Snape, haven’t had a normal life.”

Severus furrowed his brow in concentration. “Who are you?”

“My name is Raphael, but the more important question is who are you.”

Severus was perplexed. “You know who I am. You just said my name.”

Raphael nodded. “I don’t mean your name. I mean who are you as in your soul.”

“My soul?” Severus pondered that for a moment. “My soul has done a lot of changing over the last few years.”

“Yes, yes, it has,” Raphael agreed, “but what is it now, at this moment. What do you believe? Whom do you love?”

“Love?” Again Severus pondered a word. “I used to think I could only love one person and that was Lily Evans, but then I met Maerna and she taught me that love is so much more. She taught me what it means to be loved back. She taught me to love others even when I wanted to despise them and she taught me that God loves us no matter what.” The words just flowed off of his tongue. As he heard them, however, he realized how true they were. No matter what happened with the Dark Lord. No matter what happened during the battle, God was always watching over them and was there for his people. We just have to ask.

Raphael studied Severus intently for a moment or two. His gaze seemed to penetrate to Severus’s inner core, to his soul. He must have liked what he saw because he smiled at Severus and gave him a huge hug. As the man’s arms wrapped around him, Severus was surrounded by a feeling of peace and tranquility that he didn’t know could exist. He just wanted to stand there and savor it for eternity. 

Finally, Raphael stepped back and spoke.

“On this day on which children are named  
Claimed by one who changes lives forever  
Owning the wand is the reason for death  
But venom will stop the heart  
She must make the antidote  
But only accepting pure love will allow a choice  
To pass the veil or not”

“So, the prophecy was about me,” Severus concluded.

Raphael looked amused for a moment. “Actually, it was about both of you. Spoken by two different seers on the same day on opposite sides of the world. The one in England, for whatever reason, was never recorded.”

“When was the prophecy spoken?” Severus asked.

“On the day of Maerna’s baptism,” Raphael replied.

“No, I mean the actual date,” Severus said. A theory was coming to him if the dates coincided.

“September 1, 1971. It was a Wednesday if you care to know,” Raphael said.

“It was also the first day I set foot in Hogwarts. It was the day I was sorted by the Sorting Hat. The day Salazar Slytherin claimed me for his house, so to speak. The first two lines of the prophecy actually refer to both of us, just in different ways, doesn’t it.”

Raphael nodded and held up some glowing fingers. “The third and fourth line refer to you and the fifth to Maerna.”

“What about the last two lines?” Severus asked. At this moment, he knew they were the most important.

“Ah yes, the last two lines” Raphael paused. “When you talked to Maerna about them, you told her that she probably wouldn’t understand them until they came to pass and then she would have to make a choice. That advice you gave her was actually for yourself. I have looked into your heart, Severus. Your heart is open. Are you ready to accept Christ?”

Severus felt overwhelmed. The question was so simple but so complex. He didn’t completely understand what the man meant, but he knew this man was from God and he had a aura of peace and love, a peace and love that Severus wanted to experience. Slowly he nodded his head, “Yes.” 

Raphael smiled. “Kneel,” he told him. Severus felt water trickle down his head, he heard Raphael say some words but what mattered most was the feeling that spread through every fiber of his being. The feeling that he belonged and that he was loved. “Now,” Raphael pulled him back “you have a choice to make-the last line of the prophecy. Do you want to continue with me or do you want to go back to Earth?”

Severus stood still for a moment contemplating both sides. “Most people don’t get this choice. I get it because of prophecy says so?”

“No, you get the choice because God has granted it to you. That and the blood bond.”

“Our blood bond?” Severus thought for a moment putting the pieces of the puzzle together. “When I agreed to the blood bond, part of my blood went to Maerna so she still has my blood.”

Raphael noded. “The blood bond happened because God gave you an opportunity, an opportunity that you took. If you recall, the bond didn’t actually work until-”

“Until I prayed,” Severus interrupted.

“Yes, that was a major step that led you to this conversation we are having right now,” Raphael explained. 

“Now, which do you chose? Go to your eternal home or go back to your earthly life”

Severus stood still for a moment, weighing his options, considering all the “what ifs’.”

“I’d like to go back. I want to see Maerna. Tell her she was right about so many things and Potter. I sent   
him to his death. I want to help finish the job he started,” Severus decided.

Raphael nodded, “Then someday, you will be welcomed home but not today.” As he said this, Raphael   
seemed to glowing whiter and whiter until only an outline was left of him. “Do not worry too much about Harry. You two are more alike than you realize. Maybe that’s why you never really got along. God’s peace, Severus.” There was blinding flash of light and then darkness. 

 

_______________________________

Severus felt pain pain, unbelievable pain, at his neck.

He felt cold, ice cold that permeates down to his bones.

He felt at peace, the type of peace that reverberates through the soul.

Slowly, painfully, he opened his eyes. A cracked ceiling was above him. The wallpaper was peeling away in large chunks. Every piece of furniture within his vision was broken and turned over. He was back in the Shrieking Shack. 

Just behind him was Maerna, holding his head in her lap, her eyes closed tightly. He reached up and touched her cheek. Her eyes flew open in shock and then relief. “Severus, is that you? Is it really you?” she asked tears starting to form.

“Yes,” he croaked. “I’m back. I’m alive and I’m not going anywhere.”

“How do you know?” she asked, the tears now pooling in the corner of her eyes.

“An angel told me,” he replied.

That broke the dam. The tears flowed down her cheeks as she cried and cried cradling his head in her lap, holding his hand.

Finally, she got control of herself. She gave him some water. “I think the venom is all gone from your system,” Maerna said.

“It is,” Severus said. ”I can tell.”

“What do you want to do now?” she asked.

“Right now, just pray with me and then a little bit of sleep,” Severus suggested.

Maerna nodded. She grabbed both of his hands and bent her head over him. “Dear Lord,” she started.

 

Sometime later, Severus stirred again. “What time is it?” he asked.

Maerna stood up and stretched. She walked over to the window. “I don’t know exactly, but it looks like the sun just rose.” 

“Maerna, I need to know what’s going on out there. The message I told Harry. It was from Dumbledore.” He told her his theory about Horcruxes and what he thought Dumbledore’s assignment for Harry was. He explained Dumbledore’s belief that part of Lord Voldemort’s soul latched onto Harry that fateful Halloween night. “That’s the reason Harry can see inside his head and speak parseltongue. Part of Lord Voldemort lives inside of Harry.” 

Maerna blanched and her stomach starting feeling squeezy just from Severus’s description. “You mean, you told Harry that he had to die. He had to allow Voldemort to kill him.”

Severus nodded. “I need to finish the job Harry started. It’s the least I can do.”

“You aren’t going anywhere for a while, at least several days if not weeks,” Maerna objected. “You are in no 

shape to do anything of the sort right now.” To emphasize the point, she gave him another blood replenishing potion and a pain potion.

“Right now, I just need to know what’s going on. Who is dead? Who is alive? Did the castle get stormed? I just need information,” Severus said. “Your are in an unique position. No matter which side you go to, you can probably walk in with relative safety.”

Maerna bit her lip as she considered Severus’s request. What she really wanted to do what apparate away with him and never think about Hogwarts again, but she knew she couldn’t do that.

“Okay, What is the fastest way to get to castle from here?”

___________________________________________

 

This secret passage was about the same length as the one from the Room of Requirement to the Hog’s Head, but was considerably less comfortable. Maerna had to bend over most of the way and had a crick in her back by the time she emerged under the Whomping Willow. She pressed the knot as instructed and gave the tree a good look over, but it seemed to have frozen. Quickly she bolted between the branches before the tree woke up again. 

As soon as she was out of the danger zone, she evaluated the area. It looked, quite literally like a war zone. 

“But I guess that isn’t too surprising,” Maerna admitted to herself. What was unanticipated was there was no one around, at least no one alive. She could see the foot of a giant where Hagrid’s hut used to be. She assumed, or at least hoped, that the rest of him was attached. A dead spider was upside down with all eight legs pointing toward the sky. Maerna shuddered. Thank goodness she hadn’t met him while he was alive. 

Two people emerged from the castle and began walking toward her. For a moment, Maerna was worried they would question her about her state of dress. Her clothes and skin were drenched in Severus’s blood, but as they neared, she realized they looked on par with her. 

The first she didn’t recognize. The second was in torn Hufflepuff robes although his face was so battered that Maerna couldn’t identify him. They ignore Maerna but walked over to a body in Death Eater robes. His mask had slipped partially off but still obscured his face. “Who do you think that is, Oliver?” the Hufflepuff asked. The other man shrugged and grabbed the dead wizard under his arms motioning the Hufflepuff to grab the legs. As they hoisted the man up, his mask fell completely off revealing jet black hair and pale skin.

“It’s Rabastan Lestrange,” Maerna said as she approached them. 

“How do you know that?” the one named Oliver asked.

“I’ve met my share of Death Eaters,” Maerna admitted. “He tried to hit on me once when he plastered,”

“I bet Snape wasn’t happy with that,” the Hufflepuff commented.

Maerna shook her head. “No, he would have been furious. I never told him. Life was too strained as it was.”

Oliver gave her a strange look as he tried to understand her role in all of this. “I’m sorry to hear about Snape. Harry Potter told us that You-Know-Who murdered him. I honestly didn’t understand everything Harry was saying but it sounded like Snape was actually on our side, like a double spy or something.”

Maerna just stared dumbly at him. The Hufflepuff assumed it was because Oliver mentioned Severus’s death. He put the body down and approached her. “Are you going to be okay?” His battered face showed real concern and Maerna appreciated it. 

At that moment, she realized that she had an opportunity. Everyone thought Severus was dead. Perhaps he would want to keep it that way, disappear, relocate. Maerna decided to play the part of the grieving girlfriend. Severus could always clear it up later if the wanted. “No, I’m not okay, but thank you for asking. Ummm, here I’ll take this in.” She grabbed the Death Eater mask and indicated that she would follow them.

As they trudged back up the castle, Oliver’s words rang through her head “Harry Potter told us. . . Harry Potter told us.” Did Harry tell everyone this before he allowed Voldemort to murder him? Or had Harry, somehow managed to survive? Questions swam through her head. Maerna was too overwhelmed to make sense of any of it. 

The boys walked through the entrance way and past the Great Hall. Maerna peeked in as she walked by. The Hall was filled with people. They were walking around and talking. Some were even laughing. The more   
Maerna saw, the more she began to hope.

They walked around the Great Hall and entered a side room off of it. It seemed to be the depository for the Death Eater bodies. The boys laid Rabastan down, but there was one body that Maerna migrated toward. No one had closed his eyes. Probably no one wanted to actually touch them. Maerna stood over his body staring at the red slits. The eyes looked back but they were vacant. There was no doubt. Voldemort was dead.

“It’s a grand sight, isn’t it.” Neville Longbottom was leaning in the doorway, the Sword of Gryffindor at his side.

Maerna looked up. “Yes, yes it is. How do you feel about that?” She pointed to the body next to the Dark Lord’s-Bellatrix LeStrange.” 

Neville walked over and started down at the his parents’ torturer. “You would think I would feel ecstatic or relief, but really I just feel pity. I pity both of them and now it’s too late for them. Do you think I’m crazy?”

“No, Neville, I think you are a very wise man.” Maerna smiled and placed her hand on his arm. “How did it happen?”

Neville motioned her over into the Great Hall. He pointed to part of the Slytherin table that was empty. “Are you hungry?” he asked Maerna.

Maerna shook her head no. “I don’t think I could possible eat right now. Just tell me what you know.”

“You were right.” Neville started. “Harry Potter was coming to Hogwarts. He needed to find something,   
something to help him defeat You-Know-Who.” So, Neville told her an amazing tale. A tale about the lost diadem of Rowena Ravenclaw, Harry dying but not really dying, the Gryffindor sword, Nagini, the snake and the final battle in the Great Hall.

“Wow, Neville!” Maerna declared when he was finished. “That was amazing, I’m very proud of you.” She reached over and gave him a huge hug.

Neville grinned. “What about you? I heard about Snape’s death. What are you going to do?”

Maerna stared off into space for a moment. “I don’t know exactly, but I have a feeling my future isn’t going to be here. I’ll be moving on soon.”

Neville seemed to accept that. “Will you keep in touch?” 

Maerna shook her head. “Honestly probably not. I’m lousy at correspondence.”

“Okay, well good luck and if you are ever in the area. . .”

Maerna grinned and held out her hand, “I guarantee that you’ll be one of the first I look up.”

Neville shook it and Maerna stood and turned to leave. She had one more person to find before she left for good.

Maerna surveyed the room eager to find him, but the longer she looked among the living, the more she understood the truth. The bodies of the fallen heroes had been lined up in the center of the Great Hall. She started at one end and walked slowly down the line willing each face not to be his. She saw people she knew, a few students. A cluster of redheads were weeping around one body and Maerna felt her stomach churn. Who was it? She could see Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Ginny and Ron. There was Bill and one who she assumed was Percy, but when she was George’s face, she knew the truth.

She continued down the row. She was getting close to the end and her hopes began to rise slightly. Then she saw, not just him, but them. Both of them: Remus and Tonks, side by side, holding hands even in death. 

Maerna leaned down and smoothed out his hair. “I’m so sorry, Remus. You barely had a chance to become a father. I wish you could be here, so I could explain everything. You trusted me with so much and never asked questions. Finally, I’m free to tell you everything but it’s too late. I wish. . .” Maerna began to choke up. She leaned over, kissed her favorite werewolf on the cheek and then walked away, away from the pain, the grief, the agony. She kept walking until she saw the school’s gates. The gate had been blown off its hinges. The winged boar statutes lay on the ground, cracked and broken. Maerna reached out for one of them as if in a trance. That’s when her knees buckled and darkness swept over her.

___________________________________________________________________

A Hogsmeade villager found her and insisted on escorting her to the Three Broomsticks. Once there Rosmerta insisted on feeding her. “We’ve all been through such shocks. Food is good, keeps up the strength. Maerna found it was easier to eat than to argue with the woman. She asked for a sandwich and butterbeer to go and hurried out of the tavern. Maerna was still a bit dizzy but she knew where she needed to be. The streets were almost deserted. Ensuring that no one was watching, she turned toward the Shrieking Shack and to Severus.

He was asleep when she arrived. He had managed to scoot over away from the pool of his own blood. Maerna reached down and checked his pulse--steady but not as strong as she would like. She curled up next to him and begged sleep to take her away from the pain.

Several hours later, Maerna and a still weak Severus were sneaking into the floo system at Severus’s insistence and Maerna’s objection. Severus looked at her and made a pitiful demand. “I need to tie up a few loose ends. I need to talk to him one more time.”

Maerna nodded and threw down the floo powder. “Hogwarts Headmaster’s Office.”

Somehow the office has escaped damage. It looked like Severus could walk in for another day of headmaster duties, but he only had eyes for one thing-Dumbledore’s portrait. Maerna helped him hobble   
over and settle into his chair. Dumbledore was speechless, but looked delighted at the same time. 

Finally words came to him. “My dear, Severus. I can’t tell you how relieved I’m to see you alive.”

“Why Dumbledore? Did you hear news to the contrary?” Severus questioned.

“Yes, there have been some rumors,” Dumbledore conceded.

“And there will continue to be,” Severu demanded. “Some bones dressed in my clothing will be found in the remains of the Shrieking Shack. It seems the dilapidated building caught fire during the battle, burned to the ground soon afterward.”

“Oh dear,” Dumbledore said with a wink. “That sounds dreadful. Yet, here you are. I’m assuming with a fascinating story.”

“Actually, I came because I have a few questions, Dumbledore. Horcruxes. How many were there?” Severus demanded leaning toward the old painting.

“I should have realized you would figure out the truth. How many do you know about?” The old man pressed his fingers together and the old twinkle returned to his eyes. 

“A locket. You sent me to give Potter the sword so he could destroy the locket with it, but I don’t understand that part. The sword is superb goblin craftsmanship but it would never be able to destroy a horcrux.” Severus pointed out.

“Very true, but goblin wrought items imbue what makes them stronger. If you recall in his second year-

“Potter killed the basilisk with the sword thus imbuing it with basilisk venom which can destroy horcruxes,” Severus interrupted. Maerna could see the wheels turning in his head. Another piece of the puzzle falling into place. “The ring. Why in the hell did you put that thing on your finger knowing it was a horcrux?”

“Because I was a foolish, old man,” Dumbledore admitted. He looked almost bashful. “I will tell you the reason but it has nothing to do with Horcruxes. Please continue.”

“Whatever Potter stole from the LeStrange vault in Gringotts and whatever he came to Hogwarts for. I assume the latter was the lost diadem of Ravenclaw and then of course, Potter himself,” Severus said. Maerna was amazed. How had he put all of this together?

Dumbledore nodded and looked like he was very pleased with a star student. “The Horcrux in Gringotts must have been Helga Hufflepuff’s cup. The locket belonged to Salazar Slytherin and the ring has belonged to Riddle’s mother’s family, the Gaunts. There were two more. One was the diary that opened the Chamber of   
Secrets, which of course, was destroyed five years ago and the other was-”

“The snake, Nagini,” Maerna interrupted. “Harry told Neville to kill the snake which Neville did with the Sword of Gryffindor just before Harry and the Dark Lord dueled.”

Severus leaned back in his chair. He was starting to tire, Maerna could tell, but the quest for knowledge kept him going. “The ring,” he said simply.

“Ahh yes, the ring. Tell me, my dear Severus, have you ever heard of the Deathly Hallows?” Dumbledore’s portrait asked. From there the conversations continued. Two dear, old friends who no longer had any secrets to keep from each other, chatting away, enjoying their friendship-hallows, prophecies, wands, trips searching for horcruxes, Maerna’s supposed trip to Canada but actually to Mexico, Severus’s near death, Raphael, they discussed it all late into the night.

“There is one thing I don’t understand,” Maerna interjected. “Why did your wand burn me just by a touch, but the others I had to actively use them?”

“Good question,” the portrait admitted “and I’m not entirely sure. It could be because the Elder Wand is such a powerful wand, but I don’t think so. I think it was because it was the wand of the prophecy. Whatever magic your grandmother bound you to to keep you away from wands, it seemed to be magnified by the wand that she really did want you to stay away from.” 

“But that line of the prophecy didn’t apply to me,” Maerna protested.

“True,” Severus said, “But if your grandmother hadn’t interpreted it as such, she wouldn’t have kept you away from wands and pushed you into muggle chemistry. We probably never would have met.”

“God works in mysterious ways,” Maerna smiled as she wrapped her arms around Severus’ shoulders. He leaned back and closed his eyes.

“What happens next for you two? I assume from the condition of the Shrieking Shack that you are not continuing as headmaster,” the portrait concluded and Severus scowled at the idea.

“Severus has made a bucket list, Professor Dumbledore. A wish list, so to speak, of things he wants to do before he dies. Given he already died once today, I think we should get started on that list,” Maerna explained. 

“Really,” Dumbledore’s interest was piqued. “What was on that list?”

Severus took a deep breath. “Well, first we’re going back to the cottage. I need a few days to regain my energy. Then, I want to visit Lily’s grave. I’ve never been allowed to before and I owe her that much. Third on my list is to quit teaching. I hate teaching, always have. I resented you for forcing me into it, so consider this my official resignation from any position at Hogwarts.” Albus nodded in understanding. “And the last thing, the last thing on my list is Mexico. I loved our trip there and I want to go back, but only if Maerna will come with me.”

Maerna turned to him and leaned in for a kiss. “Wherever you want, as long as you are there by my side. I love you, Severus Tobias Snape.”


	51. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thirteen years later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite chapter and the end of the story. Thank you for reading, Even the Best Laid Plans. This was my first fanfiction and is still one of my favorite. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it.
> 
> Please drop me a comment. I'd love to hear from you about the story.
> 
> If you are interested in my other stories, The Other Spy (another Snape/OC but very different) is on AO3. The rest of my storie are posted on https://hpfanfictalk.com/archive/viewuser.php?uid=1204

Spring, 2012

It was Hermione’s first time in New York and she loved the city, the lights and the atmosphere. Hermione glanced across the wizarding hotel lobby. A welcome sign for the International Confederation of Wizards Scientific and Economics Advancements Conference hung across the front. Finally the wizarding community realized that muggles had made some amazing inventions. With the proliferation of the Internet, and major advances in realms like nuclear medicine and cybernetics, the muggle world was starting to bypass the wizarding. This conference looked at different ways to blend muggle and wizarding ideas together and Hermione loved being a part of it. 

She waved at the redhead that emerged from the lifts. Both having jobs with the Ministry of Magic, she and Harry were officially here for work but their spouses decided to tag along. The conference had finished up that morning and Ginny had plans for them. “When can we go shopping?” She bounded up to Hermione full of energy. 

Harry followed behind running his hand through his messy hair. “Just stay off 5th Avenue,” he said in a semi-joking manner.

Hermione laughed at her two friends. “Soon. We just need to wait for. . .” she paused mid-sentence. The crowds seem to part almost magically. Standing there was a woman, probably about ten years older than herself, surrounded by her suitcases. Dressed in a light blue business robe, she had obviously been there for the conference. She chatted rapidly in Spanish to someone and waved goodbye to him as Hermione approached her. Her blonde hair was swept up in a classic chignon making it appear shorter than it was. When the woman put on a pair of thin glasses to see her time table. Hermione was almost positive it was her.

“Meg? Meg Darcy?” Hermione asked as she approached the woman.

The blonde frowned at her, “I’m sorry, you must have mistaken me for someone else,” the woman replied, but a glint in her eye and the sound of her voice made Hermione the question the woman’s words. 

“No, I don’t think so,” Hermione challenged her.

The woman finally relaxed into a smile. “I knew this day would come at some point. Yes, Hermione. I’m Meg Darcy. It’s good to see you again.”

Ginny and Harry had followed Hermione over and heard the woman’s last statement. Ginny gasped and Harry blurted out, “But the ministry has been looking all over for you. They thought you were dead. Because of your foresight and preparedness, over 90 muggleborns were able to flee the country. From what I understand, you paid for all of it. You never took a sickle for any of it. They wanted to give you the Order of Merlin, 1st class, but you never came forward.” 

Maerna gave Harry a droll look. “Yes, Harry. I’m sure that’s why you did everything you did--for the Order of Merlin, 1st class.” Harry’s face turned bright red as he realized the ridiculousness of his statement. 

“Thank you so much for everything you did,” Harry said. “For the muggleborns, for taking care of me when I was sick,” Maerna nodded her head in acknowledgement of his words but said nothing. 

Ginny jumped in. “Bill and George looked for you after the war, but you were so secretive. Even though you were all part of the Conductors, they never knew where you lived, your real name and weren’t even sure of your real face. The only person who seemed to know the real you was. . .”

“Remus,” Maerna interjected quietly. “How is Teddy? Remus told me that he asked you to be Godfather, Harry.”

“He’s doing great. He’s a metamorph, like Tonks. Here I have a picture.” Harry pulled out his wand and conjured up a photo of a 14 year old boy with blue hair, dressed in Hufflepuff robes.

Tears pooled in Maerna’s eyes as she took the picture from Harry. She studied the boy. His warm eyes and easy smile reminded her so much of her favorite werewolf. “May I have a copy of this?” she asked Harry. 

“Absolutely,” Harry said quickly muttering “Gemino” and handed her the original.

“There were so many rumors about you. Some said that you were a special part of the Order of the Phoenix. Others thought that you were connected to the Muggleborn Registration Committee, spying deep from within the Ministry. Still others thought you were a Death Eater that defected like Severus Snape,” Ginny said. The reporter in her was trying to sniff out information but the woman wasn’t going to give her too much.

“Some of those were true. Well, at least more true than others,” Maerna smiled at her. Then for some reason, even Maerna wasn’t sure why, she gave them a tidbit of insight. “When I came up with the idea of the Conductors, I originally went to Albus Dumbledore. He connected me with Remus Lupin as my point person.”

“So, those were the only two who could connect the real you to Meg Darcy and they both died during the war,” Hermione said.

“Actually, there were three that knew the truth,” Maerna admitted.

The three English stared at Maerna, hoping but not believing she would give them a name.

Maerna gave them a big smile, “I married the last one,” she said to the general astonishment of her audience. “Now, Hermione, I know what’s going on in your head. You are thinking about getting a list of the conference attendees and cross referencing them with all the pictures and background information you can find. Am I correct?” she asked a slightly ashamed looking Undersecretary of the Ministry of Magic. “Of course, I can’t tell you what to do, but I request that you don’t. We’re happy where we are and have no desire to go back. Consider your silence my pay for all those muggleborns who made it out during the that horrendous time and for taking care of Harry when he was ill. It was lovely to see you all again, but I have a portkey to catch. Would you do one favor for me, however?”

The three nodded to her, still trying to absorb what she had said.

“Tell Neville I said hello.” She shrunk down her luggage, waved goodbye and disappeared into the crowd. 

 

__________________

It was late by the time Maerna returned to “la hacienda,” The warm breeze of spring was going to give away to a hot, sultry summer soon. Of course when you lived this far south, it was usually warm. She tapped her wand to open the door and slipped in.

He was still awake, down in the basement, bending over a cauldron, muttering to himself. She paused on the steps and watched him for a moment. She still loved to run her fingers through that black hair although it was turning into a more distinguished grey. “How’s the research going?” she asked as she slipped her arms around his waist. He immediately turned off the flame and faced her. “It’s going. I had a new idea I wanted to share with you.”

“Now?” she asked. 

“It can wait until tomorrow,” he replied. “Have you said hello to the boys?”

She nodded. “I tried, Albus was already asleep. Remus was dozing off when I came in.”

Her husband rolled his eyes. “Remus dragged me to the library while you were gone. He wanted to know everything about werewolf rights.”

Maerna laughed a throaty laugh. “The boy has passion for the topic doesn’t he? Let’s just hope that Albus doesn’t become passionate about lemon drop candies.” 

“How was the conference?” he asked pulling her over the couch in the corner of their lab.

“Very interesting,” Maerna said as she took off her shoes. “I ran into a few of your former students while there.”

“Oh really,” he said as he began to massage her shoulders. As the public figure of their potion research, she had, on occasion, run into some of them but none had ever connected her to the Second Wizarding War.

“Yes. They actually recognized me as Meg Darcy.” His hands froze on her shoulders “It was Potter and Granger,” Maerna said.

Severus sat down next to her on the sofa. “Do you think it will be a problem?” he asked.

“I don’t believe so,” Maerna said. “I asked Hermione not to look for me.”

“Well, let’s hope that insufferable know-it-all listens to you better than she ever did to me,” he grunted.

Maerna smiled, “Let’s not worry about it.” She snuggled up against him and began to play with the buttons on his shirt. “I have other things I’d rather focus on,” She stood up, pulled him to his feet slowly and led him to their bedroom. “After all, even the best laid plans can go awry.”

“Like you, you mean. You, the muggle chemist, were my best laid plan during the war.” Severus said as he shut the door.

“I think that plan worked out better than you thought,” Maerna replied coyly.

“I agree,” Severus said and bent down to kiss her, whisking her away to his world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, Even the Best Laid Plans. This was my first fanfiction and is still one of my favorite. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it. 
> 
> Please drop me a comment. I'd love to hear from you about the story.
> 
> If you are interested in my other stories, The Other Spy (another Snape/OC but very different) is on AO3. The rest of my storie are posted on https://hpfanfictalk.com/archive/viewuser.php?uid=1204

**Author's Note:**

> The story broke a 1000 reads! Okay, I know that's nothing on AO3, but still thank you for reading!


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